Billie Jo (19 page)

She wiped her face with a cold flannel and forced
herself to stop crying. She needed to be strong for her
baby. He was all that mattered now, nothing else.

Climbing back into bed, Billie felt as if she had found
her inner strength. Unable to sleep, she spent what was
left of the night mulling over her and her son's future.

Danny woke up on the sofa early in the morning and still
felt pretty out of it. Noticing the empty wraps on the
coffee table and the dozen or so cans on the floor, he
started tidying up. He'd fucked up big time with Billie
and making amends was not going to be easy. This was
all that bitch Debbie's fault. If she hadn't been denying
him sex and fucking him around, last night would never
have happened. It was her fault and he'd make sure she
paid for it somewhere along the line. Not knowing what
to say to Billie, Danny decided to act as if nothing out
of the ordinary had happened.

Carrying a mug of tea and two slices of toast, he walked
cautiously into the bedroom. 'All right, Bill? I've made
you some breakfast.'

'Thanks,' Billie answered, unable to look at him.

Danny put the mug and plate on the bedside cabinet
and walked over to his son, who was gurgling happily in
his cot. 'He's so gorgeous, ain't he, Bill? He gets more
handsome every day and he's getting bigger. Ain't it
amazing, that me and you created such a perfect kid like
him?'

'Yes,' Billie said tonelessly. 'I want to bath him in a
minute, Danny, so if you want a shower, have one now.'

'OK, I will,' Danny replied, only too happy for an
excuse to leave the room. As he got out of the shower
and dried himself, he decided to pretend he had an early
start at work.

Billie was acting all weird and you could cut the atmosphere
with a knife. He knew he'd been out of order and
been a bastard to her, but fuck me, he'd only had sex with
her. Doing her up the arse had been a mistake though,
he knew that.

'See ya later, Billie,' Danny said, as he poked his head
round the living-room door.

'Yeah, see ya,' Billie replied, without looking up from
the carpet she was vacuuming.

As she heard the front door slam, Billie turned off the
Dyson, walked to the fridge and poured a glass of wine.
Sitting down on the sofa, she gulped it and burst into
tears. She'd never forgive Danny for what he had done
to her last night, never ever. It had reminded her of that
time when he'd made her suck his thingy, but last night
had been far worse. She'd seen a mad glint in his eyes.
The things that he'd said to her and the names that he'd
called her were disgusting. Worst of all was that she knew
in her heart of hearts that if he could treat her like that
for no reason, she could not trust him with their son.

Billie picked up the phone, dialled Jade's home number
and got the answerphone. She really needed to talk to
Jade right now. She was the only person in the world she
could disclose the previous night's events to. Jade would
help her, advise her on the situation, and she certainly
wouldn't say I told you so. Billie knew that Jade would
never blank her for no reason and lying in bed awake all
last night, she'd come to the conclusion that Danny had
said or done something to Jade that day at the hospital.
There couldn't be any other explanation.

Pouring another glass of wine to calm her nerves, Billie
watched DJ gurgling happily on his baby mat, his big
blue eyes looking at her expectantly. She knew he was
too young to understand what she was saying, but she
also knew they had a bond between them that would never
be broken.

'Whatever it takes, Danny Boy, I'll do my best for you.
I've made a mistake with your father. He's not a very
nice man, but you've got the best mum in the world and
I'll never let you down.'

DJ looked up at her, clenched her finger in his and
wiggled on his mat. Billie smiled at him. 'We've got to
be strong, me and you, and we'll get through this together.
I promise you, we will.'

Just then, baby Danny smiled. It was his first proper
smile and he squeezed her fingers at the same time. Billie
was sure that he'd understood her. Nothing mattered any
more, apart from him. He was her life now. He came first
and any choices she made in the future would be for him
and him alone.

Danny sat in the boozer opposite Harry the Hand and
thought long and hard about what he was being asked
to do.

'I dunno what to do, H. What about Billie and me
kid?'

'Listen, son, you know as well as I do, if you do this
favour for Jimmy, you and your family'll be made for life.'

Sipping his drink, Danny shifted nervously in his seat.
'Ain't there no one else that can do it?'

Harry picked up his car keys with his good hand.
Unfortunately for him, his other had been chopped off
by a machete, hence the nickname.

'Everyone else has got form, Dan. You are the only
clean one amongst that little firm. You won't get long,
son, and Jimmy'll make sure the stretch you do is a piece
of piss.'

Wondering whether he should discuss the situation
with Billie Jo before he made his decision, Danny decided
against it. It had been a week now since he'd fucked her
without her consent and she'd avoided him like the plague
ever since. Knowing she'd probably be glad to see the
back of him for a while made his choice for him.

'OK, I'll do it. Tomorrow morning I'll go to the Old Bill.'

'Good lad. I'll let Jimmy know. You won't regret it,
Danny. Jimmy'll see to that.'

As he watched the scarred ex-hit man head to the toilet,
Danny pondered why Jimmy the Fish had chosen Harry
to visit him and not one of their own little firm. He fleetingly
wondered what might have happened had he said no.

Refusing a lift home, Danny said goodbye to Harry
the Hand. Wondering what the fuck he'd let himself in
for, he ordered another drink. He needed some time alone
to make sense of the situation and plan his forthcoming
statement.

It had been two days ago that Jimmy the Fish had been
arrested. He'd been set up like a good 'un by an old pal
of his who'd recently returned from Thailand. Bangkok
Barry had once been a good friend of Jimmy the Fish
and Jimmy had never had any reason not to trust him.
Unknown to Jimmy, Barry was now in a lot of trouble,
as he had recently been arrested with a substantial amount
of heroin. Desperate not to get bird and chomping at the
bit to return to a warmer climate, Barry had done a deal
with the Old Bill to set up Jimmy in exchange for having
his own charges dropped.

The deal didn't exactly go to plan. Jimmy the Fish was
meant to be carrying a quarter of a kilo of cocaine, but
unfortunately for the Old Bill, he only had a couple of
ounces on him. The Old Bill were furious with the amount.
They'd expected to find enough to put Jimmy inside for
years. Due to his past record of drug-related crime, the Old
Bill made sure that he was refused bail. Hence the reason
Jimmy had got in touch with Harry the Hand to plead with
Danny to take the rap for him.

The following day, Danny put on his coat and walked
towards Billie. 'I'd best be going now,' he said, pecking
her on the cheek. Unable to leave without picking up his
son one last time, he held the boy close. Smothering
his chubby face with kisses, he handed him back to
Billie Jo.

'I'll see you soon, Bill. You never know, they might
give me bail. If not, I'll ring you from the nick. Now, just
remember what I said to you and don't lose them phone
numbers I gave ya. Anything you need, just ring one of
the lads, and they'll sort it for ya.'

'OK.'

Pulling her and the baby close to him, Danny felt her
flinch. 'I'm so sorry, Bill. I love you, you know.'

Leroy, tooting impatiently outside, saved Billie from
replying.

Danny sat in silence as he was driven to the police station.
He'd told Billie what was happening the previous evening.
Instead of her looking upset, he'd seen relief in her eyes
when he mentioned he'd probably go away for a while.

Looking out of the window, he ignored Leroy's idle
chit-chat. Going away for a crime he hadn't committed
was nothing compared to Billie Jo not wanting him. Losing
her was too upsetting even to contemplate and Danny
was determined to win her back. She hated him at the
moment and, to be honest, he didn't blame her. Going
inside would give their relationship a chance to repair
itself. It would also propel him up the criminal ladder, to
a height he was desperate to reach.

Billie Jo fed DJ, winded him, then sat him in his baby
chair. Watching him doze off, she went into the kitchen
to pour herself a drink. She hated drinking in front of her
child. It reminded her too much of her own mother.
Debating whether to ring Jade, she decided against it.
Best wait to see if the police locked Danny up before
involving her in all of this. Feeling more alone than ever
before, she returned to the lounge. Her life was a mess
and there wasn't a soul in the world that she could turn
to for help.

Billie toyed with the idea of calling Davey Mullins in
Spain, but she decided not to. She was far too embarrassed
to involve him in any of this. Feeling her guts
churning, she ran to the toilet. She hated shitting lately.
The pain she felt as she passed her motions brought back
everything that Danny had put her through. She winced
as she wiped her bottom. The toilet paper was covered
in blood: yet another reminder. As she washed her hands,
she glanced in the mirror. She hadn't eaten for days and
looked that ill, she barely recognised herself. She sank to
her knees. If it wasn't for her baby, she'd definitely
consider killing herself right now. Rocking to and fro,
she sobbed for what seemed like hours.

Instantly seeing through Danny's lies, the Old Bill did
their utmost to make him change his mind. For years
they'd been waiting to reel in Jimmy the Fish and were
fucked if they were allowing the bastard to swim away
to safety.

DI Bond stretched out his arms, whilst choosing his
words carefully. Slamming his fists on the table, he did
his very best to make the little shit alter his statement.
'Don't let these people mug you off, son. What's he promised
you? The earth I suppose.'

'Dunno what you're talking about,' Danny said,
nonchalantly.

Frustated, DI Bond stood up and paced the room. 'You
wanna own up to this, Danny, fine, but let me tell you,
you ain't getting bail. Not only will I charge you with
the drugs, but I'll do you and Jimmy for perverting the
course of justice. Don't think just 'cause you've owned
up, that your boss'll be getting out. I'll make sure that
both of you rot inside, don't worry about that.'

'No comment,' Danny replied, cockily.

Leaving the interview room, DI Bond slammed the
door as hard as he could. Cases such as this made him
vomit. The legal stuff and stupid technicalities made his
job impossible and with little shits like Danny O'Leary
taking the onus away from the big boys, his job had
become untenable. Jimmy the Fish would walk in the
morning. His top-class brief would see to that. The backhander
would pay up his mortgage and Jimmy would be
let off the hook and put back into the water. Exasperated,
DI Bond kicked the coffee machine.

'You all right, boss?' asked one of his lads.

'No, I fucking well ain't. Tell Ronny to wrap things
up with O'Leary. I'm officially off duty.'

Grabbing his raincoat, Bond stormed out of the
building.

Being refused bail, Danny was taken to Brixton Prison.
Jimmy the Fish had many contacts in the underworld and,
within days, word had got round about Danny.

'You all right, boy?'

Realising that the gym had emptied, Danny put his
weights down.

'Razor's the name,' his visitor informed him, holding
out a massive hand.

Standing up, Danny shook hands and introduced
himself. 'Did Jimmy send you to find me?' he asked,
hopefully.

'Yep, I'm a pal of his and he told me to see you all
right. Now what do you need?'

'What do you mean?'

'Puff, coke, pills, phonecards. You name it and I'll sort
it. I run this wing and I'll get you whatever you want.'

Danny laughed. He wasn't sure if Razor was joking
or being serious.

'I wouldn't mind a bit of puff.'

Putting a big tattooed arm around his shoulder, Razor
led him from the gym. Telling Danny to go back to his
cell, he returned five minutes later with an eighth and
some Rizlas. 'Welcome to Brixton, Danny Boy. Believe
me, you'll have a better time in here than fucking Butlins.'

Danny soon realised that Razor hadn't been joking
when he'd referred to Brixton being sweeter than a holiday
camp. Drugs were easier to come by on the inside than
a Friday night out in Romford town centre. He wasn't
stupid, though. He knew his stretch would have been
entirely different if it hadn't been for the Fish pulling the
strings. Jimmy had been released within hours of Danny
confessing. Shortly after, he'd shown his gratitude by
moving Billie Jo and Danny Junior to a three-bedroom
house in Gidea Park. Danny had been told of the move
via world of mouth. Jimmy refused to talk on prison
phones, insisting they were bugged. Billie Jo had also
been warned to keep schtum about the move.

Life soon became like
Groundhog Day
to Danny. Razor
sorted him with a cushy little job in the kitchen to break
up the days. His nights were spent stoned in his cell, with
only his right hand and a porn mag for company. Possessing
more phonecards than the local newsagent, he was able
to speak to Billie Jo on a regular basis. Danny was premier
league when it came to the charm stakes and he was positive
that Billie had started softening towards him. He'd
win her over in the end, he was confident of that.

Being on remand allowed Danny plenty of visitors.
Jimmy had avoided seeing him because of the impending
court case, but Leroy, Dave, Arnie and Paulie had all been
up to visit. Danny hadn't wanted any of the heavy mob
hanging around Billie Jo, so he'd asked Jamie to pop
round and keep an eye on her and the baby. Jamie had
only been up to see him once, but had been full of stories
about Billie and Danny Junior. He'd been a real good
friend, which made Danny eternally grateful to him.

Debbie and Michelle had both written to him and had
both wanted to visit. Debbie wrote regularly and he wrote
back, mainly out of boredom. He'd had to lie to her to
stop her visiting him and had told Jimmy to back him
up. 'If you start visiting Danny, it'll bring the Cross Keys
into the court case and we can't have that, Debbie,' Jimmy
had told her in no uncertain terms. Being thick, she'd
swallowed it.

Writing to Michelle had been quite emotional for
Danny. He'd hardly seen her since he started knocking
off Debs and DJ was born and he now felt guilty for
having blanked her. Unable to face her, he'd refused her
a visit. 'Jimmy only wants the lads up here, Chelle. As
soon as I get out, I'll be round yours for a beer, girl,' had
been his excuse via letter. He guessed she'd copped the
hump though, as he hadn't heard a word from her since.

Rolling up a joint, Danny thought of Billie Jo. Earlier
today she had finally agreed to visit him with the baby.
'I'm only bringing DJ once, though. Prison is no place
for a child, Danny,' she'd told him.

Lying back on his bunk, Danny smiled. He knew she
had forgiven him. Billie Jo loved him, she belonged to
him and that's the way things were destined to stay.