Billie Jo (25 page)

'Look, Billie. I really like you, but let's not complicate
things. You're under a lot of stress at the moment.
I'm seeing Lucy and, well, I think we should stay friends
for now.'

Billie was horrified by her actions and felt stupid that
he'd rejected her. She'd obviously read the signals wrong.
'I'm so sorry, Jamie. I don't know what came over me,
I think I should stop drinking and go to bed now.'

Jamie took her hands in his. 'Look, don't rush off to
bed. It's just that I think the world of you, Billie, and I
don't want to spoil things. It's not that I don't like you.
When you first got with Danny, I was so jealous, as I
wanted you for myself, but so much has happened since
then.'

Billie could feel tears starting to form in her eyes. She
was determined not to mug herself off any more than
she already had and was frantically trying to stop herself
crying. 'Look, I need to go to bed, Jamie. I'm a bit drunk
and I just don't feel too well. Maybe it's best if you go
home too. You can call a cab if you want.'

'Oh, Bill, don't be like this.'

Billie didn't want to be horrible to him, but felt she
had to get rid of him so she could sob her heart out in
peace. 'I'll talk to you tomorrow, Jamie,' she said, handing
him his toolbox. After she had shut the front door, Billie
slid the bolt across and sat down on the floor, hugging
her knees tightly to her chest. The floodgates opened
immediately and she sobbed for what seemed like hours.

Jamie sat in his car and laid his head on the steering
wheel.

'Fuck,' he said out loud as he started the engine. All
those months he'd liked Billie and gone to bed thinking
about her and now that he'd got on with his life and accepted
that all they were ever going to be were just friends, she'd
come on to him and fucked his head up. He'd ring her
tomorrow and sort things out with her, talk to her when
they were both sober.

Driving home at thirty miles an hour to avoid getting
a tug, Jamie parked his car up, got out and kicked the
front tyre with frustration. Once indoors, he went to
the fridge and took out a can of lager. Taking his phone
out of his pocket he rang Billie's mobile. There was no
answer so he rang Lucy, but she didn't answer either.

Jamie was at a loss as to how to deal with what had
happened earlier. Many a time, even when Danny was
inside, he'd wanted nothing more than to take Billie in his
arms, tell her how he really felt about her and beg her to
spend the rest of her life with him. Now he'd had the
bloody chance, he had completely blown it. He wasn't
exactly shy with women, more respectful than anything.
He'd been so used to being second best when he'd been
knocking about with Danny, rejection was his biggest fear.
Truth be known, that was his problem tonight. Knowing
Billie was sort of on the rebound, he'd been a bottle job,
frightened that she might have a change of heart a couple
of weeks down the line, and where would that have left
him? Broken-hearted, and miserable.

'Fuck women, I'm gonna turn gay,' he said quietly to
himself. Nodding off drunkenly on the sofa, his last
thought was of his old grandfather's words:

'Never worry and stress yourself out, son. Life's a
funny old game and what will be will be.'

Jamie kept trying to contact Billie over the next couple
of days, but got no reply. He couldn't stop thinking about
her and the fact that she'd shown interest in him had
completely done his head in. He'd gone out with Lucy
for a drink the night before and had had a shit time,
wishing he was elsewhere. Trying Billie's number again,
he slung the phone against the wall in frustration.

Billie guessed who the missed call was from even
before she looked at her mobile. He'd rung so many times
over the last forty-eight hours that she'd lost count. She
knew she'd have to talk to him eventually, but at the
moment her embarrassment was still too raw. She'd told
Jade how she'd made a fool of herself. Jade had told her
not to be so silly and to give him a ring.

'Bloody hell, Billie,' she'd said. 'You've only tried to
kiss him, you haven't run around starkers in front of him.
Pull yourself together.'

Billie knew that Jade was right, but at present she
couldn't bring herself to take her advice. She felt
completely down in the dumps and Jade informing her
that she wasn't able to take time off work to pay her a
visit hadn't helped her mood. Billie had been so looking
forward to seeing Jade and her little brother and felt gutted
that they were unable to stay with her. Depressed, Billie
said her goodbyes, ended the call, and went back to bed.

Over in delightful Dagenham, the honeymoon period
between Danny and Debbie seemed to be coming to an
end.

'Aw, I thought you said I could come out with you
tonight. I've even bought a new dress to wear. Please let
me come with you, I don't wanna stay in on my own
again, Dan.'

Danny ignored the whining voice, walked into the
kitchen and lit up a joint. He'd realised in the last couple
of days that moving in with Debbie had been one big
fucking mistake. She didn't stop whinging and talking.
In fact the only time she ever shut up was when he stuck
his cock in her mouth. Making a mental note to find a
place of his own asap, Danny picked up his keys, slammed
the front door and headed for the peace and quiet of his
local.

Unable to face another boring night sitting indoors on her
own, Billie put DJ in his buggy, sorted out her bank card
and a couple of utility bills and took a nice long stroll to
her nearest Blockbuster. The young girl behind the counter
was as divvy as arseholes and becoming a member was
an ordeal on its own. Biting her tongue, Billie finally
joined and spent the next half an hour choosing a couple
of good films. Stopping at the nearby offie, she bought
chocolates, nuts and crisps. She was desperate to ease her
depression over Jamie and decided that a night of binge eating
and film-watching was just what the doctor ordered.

'Shut up, you fucking mug, now go away from me 'cause
you're getting on me nerves now.' Danny O'Leary was
drunk, loud and surrounded by cronies who were laughing
and hanging on to his every word. Jimmy the Fish was
on holiday in Puerto Banus, so Danny was playing top
dog and enjoying every moment of it.

Vincent Lawrence was a regular in the Cross Keys pub.
At forty-six years old, slightly retarded, with a stammer,
Vincent was quite often the butt of people's jokes, especially
Jimmy the Fish's little firm. Sometimes they would
be nice to him, buy him drinks and give him fags.
Occasionally they'd treat him to an odd takeaway, or hire
a stripper for him, but normally there was an underlying
current to their niceness and they would make him do
something in return. Vincent hated returning their favours
as he was always forced to do something nasty.

Knowing he was afraid of heights, they'd once made
him climb onto the roof of the pub, then stolen the
ladder so he couldn't get back down. Another time,
they'd dressed him up as Guy Fawkes and made him
sit begging in the freezing cold outside the pub. They'd
even gone so far as tying him to a car and he'd badly
hurt himself when they'd driven off, dragging him
behind. Their last escapade had been to force him to
go on a beano to Margate with them, where they'd got
him drunk, stripped him off, put him in a dress and
high heels and left him there. It had taken Vincent two
days to get back home and ever since he'd been giving
them a wide berth.

Today, they had been kind to him. Vincent hadn't eaten
all day so they'd ordered him a Chinese and bought him
loads of beers. Vincent was wary at first, but as he was
skint and wasn't due his disability benefit for another two
days, he had taken a chance and joined them. He'd enjoyed
himself until they'd given him some white powder. They'd
made him snort it with them at the bar and then they'd
poured some in his pint. Now he felt funny, couldn't stop
talking and seemed to be annoying everyone.

'I-i-i'm s-so s-s-sorry, Danny,' Vincent said, accidentally
knocking his pint onto Danny's lap. The pub went
quiet and Vincent felt his bowels loosen with nerves.
Danny stood up and grabbed him round the throat by the
neck of his dirty T-shirt.

'Right, Vincent,' Danny said, lifting him off his feet.
'Now say, "I am a cunt".'

'I-i-i a-am a c-c-cunt,' Vincent managed to stammer.

'Now I'll show you what I do to cunts like you, shall I?'

Vincent nodded dumbly. Still holding him by the neck,
Danny kneed him as hard as possible in the bollocks, then
finished him off by headbutting him as fiercely as he
could. Vincent lay in a crumpled heap on the floor while
Danny and the boys carried on laughing and drinking.

By early evening, Danny was bored shitless. The pub
was nigh on empty, apart from his little crowd, a couple
of old boys and silly battered Vincent. Looking at his
watch, which said half past seven, Danny picked up the
keys to his Shogun and downed the rest of his drink.

'I'm off now, lads. I'll see ya tomorrow.'

'Where you going, Dan? It's only early,' asked a couple
of the lads.

'I'm going to see me son. I ain't seen him for fuck knows
how long and it's about time I did something about it.'

Billie had just sat down to watch her second movie when
she heard the lock being tampered with on the front door.
Thankful she had put the bolts across, she sat frozen to
the spot, panic rising inside her.

'Billie, I know you're in there. Open this fucking door
now. I wanna see my son and if you don't open it, you
bitch, I'll fucking kill ya.'

Billie had prepared herself for this moment, but that
still didn't stop her feeling petrified. DJ was asleep
upstairs. Praying that he didn't wake up, Billie turned the
telly off and hid behind the armchair.

Danny stood in the front garden, his temper reaching
boiling point. He knew she was in, he'd heard the telly
and all the lights were on. Taking ten steps back up the
path, Danny ran at the front door and kicked it with all
his might. After a dozen or so kicks, his foot was killing
him and he knew the bastard thing wasn't going to budge.

'What you looking at, you nosy old cunt?' he screamed
at the middle-aged neighbour peeping through her curtains.

Billie waited until it had been silent outside for a couple
of minutes and built up the courage to take a quick peek
out. She was crapping herself and felt relief wash over
her when she could see no sign of Danny.

'Mummy, I'm scared,' came the distraught voice of her
little boy. Billie ran up the stairs and sat on the edge of
his newly purchased first little bed. Hugging him tightly,
she did her best to reassure him.

'Ssh, come on, darling it's OK now,' she said, wiping
his tears away. Billie felt terrible, she hadn't realised that
while she was cowering downstairs DJ had been awake.
'You OK now?' DJ nodded, his bottom lip still quivering.
'I tell you what, you come downstairs and watch TV with
Mummy and I'll get you a nice bowl of that chocolate
chip ice cream we bought earlier.'

Taking the squeeze of her neck as a sign of approval,
Billie picked DJ up and gingerly walked down the stairs.
Three stairs before the bottom, she heard an almighty
crash and the sound of glass smashing in the kitchen. The
shock was so great that she dropped the baby and fell
down herself.

'Oh my God! Are you all right, DJ? Are you hurt?'
Before her son had a chance to reply, Danny opened
the kitchen door and strolled into the hallway. Putting the
little 'un on the bottom stair, Billie couldn't help herself.
She lost it completely.

'You stupid bastard. I dropped the baby down the stairs,
you fucking idiot,' she shouted, pummelling his chest with
her fists and kicking him as hard as she could at the same
time. Her earlier fright had now disappeared and she was
filled with nothing but anger. Danny grabbed both her
hands as she tried to hit him and slammed her up against
the wall.

'What you going all hysterical for? It's not my fault,
you stupid cow. You should have opened the fucking door
in the first place. You all right, boy?' Danny picked up
his trembling son and held him tightly.

'Put him down,' Billie screamed frantically. Danny gave
her a violent push which sent her flying.

'If I wanna hold my son, then I will. Now get in that
living room and calm yourself down. All I wanna do is
talk to you and sort out some arrangement to see me
boy. You're quite safe, Billie. I don't want fuck all to do
with you, you frigid bitch. I wouldn't have you back if
you had a gold-plated fanny, so you can drop the drama
queen act.'

Because he had her son in his arms Billie did as she
was told. Feeling defeated, she flopped down on the sofa.

'Right,' Danny said, kissing his son on the forehead
as he spoke. 'I wanna see my boy and I've every right to
see him. I'll be round here nine o'clock on Saturday
morning and I'm gonna take him out for the day. I won't
keep him overnight. I know he's a mummy's boy so I'll
bring him back by seven in the evening, OK?'

Billie didn't want to antagonise him. She wanted Danny
out of her house as quickly as possible and she certainly
didn't need another scene in front of her beloved son,
whose sobs were only just beginning to subside. 'OK,
nine o'clock,' she said, lying through her teeth. She had
no intention of letting her precious child anywhere near
his monster of a father, but she would worry about that
later.

Danny smirked. He liked getting his own way. 'See,
that weren't too bad, was it? If you'd answered the door
in the first fucking place, you'd have saved yourself a
load of grief. I'll send one of the boys round tomorrow
to mend the glass door, and don't bother putting your
silly bolts on no more 'cause they ain't gonna keep me
out. Remember, I'm Jimmy's partner, so this house you're
living in is half mine. In fact, I might even get him to
sign the deeds over to me so I own it, lock, stock and
barrel. Once it belongs to me, I can come and go as I
please.'

Billie opened her mouth to say something but closed
it again. She'd temporarily lost all of her fight. Ruffling
his son's hair, Danny placed him on the sofa next to his
shaken mother.

'I'm going now, son. Daddy will pick you up and take
you out for the day on Saturday.'

Even at his tender age, DJ knew that nodding dumbly
was the best thing to do. 'See ya then, sweetheart.' Danny
winked at Billie, blew her a kiss and walked towards the
front door. Seeing the bolts, he couldn't resist a final
comment. 'Don't forget to bolt the door, dear. You don't
want no one breaking in now, do you?'

Laughing loudly, he sauntered out of the house.