Billionaire Badboy (9 page)

Okay, let’s just rewind a bit to get the full effect.

She brought up the time I had told her she was a waste of a
condom. I know, I still regret ever saying that, but everyone says stupid
things when they’re having trouble expressing emotions. I then told her to
“shut the hell up.” I’m really not making myself look good in this recap, but
I’m sure it’ll just make my monologue that much more enticing.

Then she tried to leave, but I grabbed her, swinging her
back to me.

“Put the wine down.”

“No.”

“Put the fucking wine down, Ashley.”

I don’t drop the F bomb very often, so when I do, you know
it means something. I was serious, and I was about to get my point across. Here
we go:

“Listen to me. Do not talk. Listen to me.”
*A
dramatic pause accompanied by a deep breath. *
“I am so God awfully
attracted to you. You need to know that. I look at you, and my blood burns
within me. The fantasies I had when we first met, when you showed up at my
party, even these last eighteen months… you wouldn’t believe what I’ve done to
you in my dreams. You haunt me. Your big eyes, your always-blushed cheeks, even
that obnoxious laugh of yours… I can’t get you out of my head. In that sense, I
couldn’t care less what your name is or where you come from. I don’t care what
you’ve done or what you plan to do. I want you. I want all of you.”
*A
histrionic look away to show the importance of what I was about to say.*
“But
what’s strangely more overpowering is that I want to know you. For some reason,
unbeknownst to me, I am dying to learn what you know. I am asking to know who
you are. And you throwing yourself at me doesn’t allow me do that. You’re
taking that away from me. So I’m asking you, honestly, truthfully: do I not
deserve to know you? Tell me that now, Ashley. Tell me I don’t deserve to know
you, and I’ll take you right here on this beach. I will throw you down and have
my way with you for as long as I so damn please. I will live out every single
fantasy. But if it’s something else, you need to tell me. I need to know if I
could possibly mess up something great.”
*And another dramatic pause. *
Ashley,
do I have the ability to hurt you?”

And the Oscar goes to Theodore Vincent Stoneguard IV! I
mean, come on! Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself and a little too cocky, but
thank you for indulging me. I needed that moment again. That was the start of
the best night of my life, and that night was the start of the best summer of
my life. I want to warn you of that now, before the memories continue. It only
lasted a summer, but it was perfect. She was perfect.

She nodded. She nodded. That was it! Just a nod!

“Really? I just gave you that ridiculously beautiful speech
and you’re just going to nod?” I was kidding. She knew that. I was finding a
way to deflect from the awkward moment that I wasn’t sure we were ready to
share.

And then she erupted with the baby otter laugh.

“And now you’re giving me the baby otter laugh.”

“And now you’re making fun of me again!”

“I really don’t mean to… it just sort of happens.”

“You were on the right track, Teddy. You were so there… but
now…”

“No, no, don’t say I messed it up.”

“You messed it up.”

…Further proving how much she messed me up.

“You want the monologue again? I can probably do something
close.”

We were teasing each other, laughing, smiling, forgetting
who we were for only a moment. Ashley looked up at me, and in a moment, I saw
her eyes moisten with tears.

“Hey, hey, come here.” I pulled her into a hug.

“Teddy?” She choked as she pulled from our hug. “Ha. This is
so silly.”

I looked into her eyes, truly seeing her for the first time.
Never once before then, or since, had I looked so deeply into another person’s eyes:
into their soul.

“Nothing you could say would be silly.”

“Oh, you just wait.”

I ran my fingers through her hair. “I’ll wait as long as you
need me to.” Wow, I was like a character out of a cheesy 90’s movie. It was
amazing to watch.

“I was so mean to you.”

“Yes.”

“You have no reason to care to know me.”

“It’s weird, I know.”

“And I had no reason to miss you.”

“Okay, ouch, I’m not going to pretend that didn’t hurt. I
thought we were talking about how I was the better person.” Again, I was
deflecting.

“Let me finish.”

“Not sure if I really want you to, but, by all means.” Okay,
Teddy. Shut up and let the poor girl talk.

“I had no reason to miss you, but I did. Every day. It was
so stupid, and I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Hell,
I had my editor send me letters from readers who felt as though they needed to
keep me updated on your every move.”

“My every move?”

“Every single move.”

“So you heard about the parade?”

“I did hear about the parade.”

“Damn, I was kind of hoping we could just sneak by that
one.”

“No, no we’re going to come back to that.”

“But right now we’re talking about how much you missed me.”

“Shut up, or I’m going to stop talking.”

“Lips, locked.” I did one of those silly things where I
closed my lips and threw away the key. It was like I was thirteen all over
again.

“And I’m going to pretend you didn’t do that.” As she should
have. If my lips weren’t sealed, I would’ve apologized for my embarrassing
behavior. “But for the life of me, I can’t figure out why I missed you.”

I found her hands with mine, offering comfort while she
continued speaking.

“Teddy, I don’t know you too well, I’ll admit that. I know
facts and stories, but not you. But the facts and stories lead me to believe
that you’re this stereotype that drives me crazy: this privileged ass that gets
exactly what he wants whenever he wants it. Then, the first time I meet you,
you try to kiss me and then I end up spending the night in jail, which only
proves the stereotype further. I have so much hatred building up toward you and
I don’t know how to hone it. I can’t do anything with all this… energy between
us.”

She was getting adorably worked up trying to explain our
relationship. But I knew exactly what she was talking about. I got her locked
up, she wrote stories documenting my every step… we weren’t very nice to each
other.

“And then I just thought, ‘hey, maybe it’s sexual tension?’ You’re
gorgeous, so obviously I’m attracted to you, and I’m, well… you know.” She
looked at me, maybe for a compliment, but I was enjoying her spiel. I let her
finish her thought. “Well, I’m not too bad to look at. So I thought since you
were so keen on getting me drunk that night at school, that maybe you felt the
same way. I’m not shy; I take what I want, I wanted you, and so I went for it. But
then you… ha, well, you gave me the whole waste of a condom bit, which only
made me hate you even more. And sure, a part of me figured that you were hiding
something, that you used that excuse only because it was rooted in something
much deeper, something you weren’t yet willing to share with me, but it was so
much easier to just go on hating you than to analyze you. So I did. Or at least
I said I did, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. Can you please say
something now?”

“I’m actually really enjoying this. You should keep
talking.”

I wanted to pinch her cheeks. It was an odd desire, kind of
like the pinky on her nose thing. But I couldn’t help it: she was just so gosh
darn cute. When Ashley gets excited about things, she talks really fast, kind
of like the girls in those cheerleader movies… you know, the really dumb ones? But
Ashley is actually really smart. So while she’s talking fast, you can see her
mind work. Everything she says is calculated; it’s sort of puzzled out. There’s
so much information, and maybe not all of it is necessary, but she spits
everything out, and from there, you can tell how she’s truly feeling about a
situation. You can’t even consider talking while she’s doing this. It’s just
too interesting to watch. And she uses her hands a lot. That’s also adorable,
for some reason.

“So I knew how I wanted to feel about you, but these other
feelings kept popping up. I kept saying to myself ‘you hate him, you hate
him’…”

“Thanks.”

“Shut up.”

Was I supposed to say something? Was I supposed to shut up? God,
she needed to make up her mind. Women.

“And I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but if I
do have feelings for you, like more than lustful feelings, I don’t understand
why.”

I know she prefaced it with ‘and I don’t want you to take
this the wrong way’, but seriously? Of course I’m going to take it the way it
sounds, which is that I have no redeemable traits, and I’m a surface level type
of person whom no one can have a real relationship with.

Okay, she didn’t say that, but I thought it of myself enough
times to immediately jump to that conclusion.

“Because you don’t know me?”

“I don’t.”

“Do you want to?”

“Teddy,” she grabbed my hand, “sometimes I see something in
you that is so… different. It’s like you’re begging me to take you aside and
tell you it’s okay to be the person you want to be rather than the person
everyone expects you to be.”

And I thought I was a closed book…

“Let’s sit.”

“I like standing.”

“No, we need to sit.” I began to lay out the blanket.

“Can we lie down?”

“So you either want to stand or lie down, but sitting is out
of the question. You are very interesting.”

“I am very interesting.” She winked at me before falling to
the ground, and cozying herself into the perfect position to look at the stars.

I found my spot next to her, allowing the back of my hand to
touch hers. It was oddly satisfying. In that moment, it was all I needed.

You know when you’re a teenager, and you have your first
real significant other? You spend all night on the phone with them, talking
about likes, dislikes, the past, the present, the future…? That night on the
beach was the grown-up version of those all-nighter phone calls. I think you
can easily take for granted how important those times can be. It’s when you
truly learn about a person. But you also learn how excited you are to be
sharing that time with that person. Sleep is so precious. When you don’t think
twice about giving it up just for another few shared breaths with someone else,
it really means something.

At least it meant something to me.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Teddy

“Chick flicks? Really? Ashley, I thought so much more of
you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do my silly fairy tales not measure up to
your beat them up and kill them kind of movies?”

“Superheroes. What is wrong with superheroes?”

“It’s still fantasy! You can’t judge me for my romantic
comedies if you turn around and throw on comic book movies.”

“But comic books are awesome!”

“Since when are you a nerd?”

“Since when are you a girl?”

“Excuse me?”

“That came out wrong.”

“A little bit.”

“Okay, just please don’t tell me you’re into vampires.”

Silence.

“What? Who are you?”

“It’s not like I believe in them. It’s just that… I mean,
come on, it’s kind of sexy.”

“They eat people!”

“No they don’t! Well, not exactly, but that’s not the sexy
part.”

“Immortality?”

“Mmm, no, not that either.”

“Okay, we’re coming back to that.”

“Just like we’re coming back to the monkeys and the parade?

“I’m still not over the whole you being attracted to
vampires thing.”

“You threw yourself a parade!”

“Vampires first.”

“It’s mystery, it’s unknown, it’s dangerous. That’s what’s
sexy.”

“Like me?”

“I’m not answering that.”

“So that’s a ‘yes’?”

“You’ve never thought about vampires? Really?”

“And now you’re dodging my question!”

“You’re dodging mine! You can’t tell me that if a beautiful
woman came onto you, who happened to be a vampire, you wouldn’t be the least
bit intrigued.”

Okay, she had a point.

“Okay, you have a point.”

“Thank you. And while we’re at it, I also love magic.”

“Like card tricks and the bunny in the hat business?”

“Yes… but no. Like real magical powers.”

“Oh. Oh. You mean like those books where the kid finds out
he has magical powers and then can all of a sudden save the entire school, when
no one else, not even those who have been practicing magic for fifty or more
years can?”

Even in the pale moonlight, I could see her blush.

“Okay, it’s a little ridiculous, but it’s all justified. And
fascinating. And, if I’m being completely honest, I’m a little jealous that I
don’t have magical powers.”

See, I told you she loved those books. Or maybe it’s that
she was jealous of the characters in those books? Either way, I’m still
judging.

I rolled over onto my side. I was tired of looking at the
stars. They didn’t compare to her.

“So, magical powers, yes… immortality, no?”

She hummed a little laugh before flipping on her side to
face me. “If you could live forever, what would you do?”

“Great question.”

“I asked it. Of course it is.”

Oh dear God, every word that came out of her mouth drew me
even closer to her.

“I think I would travel more… Or, you know what? I’d
actually live in a bunch of different places for a long period of time. And I’d
learn languages. A whole bunch of them. And I’d learn how to play the ukulele,
just so I could be that weird guy who plays the ukulele.”

“You’re too tall to play the ukulele.”

“That’s what I’m saying. I’ll totally be that weird guy.”

“You, Theodore Vincent Stoneguard IV, want to be the weird
guy?”

“It would be a fun change of pace. Plus, it would give me a
bit of a challenge when it comes to getting girls. It’s getting too easy.”

I winked at her.

What? A wink? What the hell was wrong with me? It was going
so well!

“Pig.”

“I deserved that.”

Okay, I saved it… kind of.

“So why don’t you do that now?”

“I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

“Why not?”

I had never asked myself that question. Why hadn’t I
traveled? Why hadn’t I learned another language? Why hadn’t I picked up a tiny
guitar?

“I don’t know.”

“That’s my problem with immortality. I have these lists of
things I want to do, places I want to go, things I want to accomplish, but I
keep thinking life is long enough that I don’t have to do them today… or
tomorrow, for that matter. Now, could you imagine knowing you were immortal? Would
you ever get to that list? Or would you just keep pushing those things off
because you know that you always have tomorrow? What stupid things would you
waste your time doing instead? What stupid things am I wasting my time doing now?”

“You don’t seem like you’re wasting your time doing
anything, Ashley.”

“But did my dad think that? He spent his whole life working
at his career. And then his life was over. Did he ever get to his list?”

I didn’t say anything. I wanted her to know that I
understood what she was saying, what she was thinking. I wanted to give her the
time to process her thoughts.

But as I stared at her, I felt my insides melt. I wanted to
hold her closer. I wanted to touch her, caress her; I wanted to love her. I closed
my eyes and moved toward her, lightly planting my lips on hers. I didn’t kiss
her, at least not the way most people think of a kiss. I was just trying to get
as close as possible. I wanted to feel what it was like to have our mouths
touching. Then, when the moment felt right, I pulled away.

“What was that?”

“I don’t really know.”

We both laughed: me, my quiet, deep laugh, and her, her half
baby otter chuckle.

“How far down on your list is finding out more about your
father’s death?”

“It’s the first thing.”

“So…”

“So…” She looked away quickly, deciding the level of
honestly with which she was comfortable. When she looked back, I saw in her
eyes that she trusted me. “I’m just too scared to start it.”

“You don’t seem scared of anything.”

“Everyone has fears.”

“I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Yes, I do.”

“If you could have any super power, what would it be?”

“Oh, the age old question. You know, normally, I’d say
flight, but right now, I just want to know what you’re thinking.”

“You could just ask me.”

“No, that’s scary.”

“And being able to read my mind outright wouldn’t be?”

“It’s different when you’re asking someone to be honest with
you.”

“How about some wine?”

“So you can’t be honest with me sober?”

“Ha, I’m not sure if you can handle my honesty sober.”

“Okay, wine it is.”

It was one of those screw top bottles, which was perfect,
because we didn’t have a corkscrew. We also didn’t have cups, so we sat up and
took turns swigging sips from the bottle. Between gulps, we played that silly
hand game where one person has their hands on the bottom, and the other on the
top, and the bottom person has to try to slap the top person’s hand before they
can pull away.

It was so stupid and so silly and so perfect.

“You know how they say that women are attracted to men…?”

“Before you continue, who are ‘they’?”

She jokingly scowled at me. “I don’t know. Psychiatrists, I
guess.”

“Oh okay, them, keep going.”

“They say that women are attracted to men who they think
would make good fathers, or at least would have traits they would like to see
in their children.”

“I’m a little nervous about where this conversation is
going.”

“Calm down, boy.” She touched my knee and I could feel her
heat radiate throughout my entire body. “Why do you think women are so drawn to
you?”

“Is this a jab? Or is it an actual question?”

“We’ve been sitting here for four hours, Teddy. Assume it’s
not a jab.”

“Okay then… money, power, security.”

“Wow, okay.”

“What?”

“I don’t know… I expected you to say something about your
looks, your body, your charm.”

“Do you want to say something about my looks, my body, or my
charm?” I egged her on, prying for a compliment.

“I don’t need to boost your ego right now.”

“Later?”

“Maybe later.”

I grabbed her face and brought her in for a kiss. It was
random, a complete surprise to both of us, but it just made sense.

“What was that for?”

“Assume I don’t know.”

“I’m not buying that.”

“Or assume that while I am honestly loving everything about
this, and while I know I asked for this, my body is struggling to be so close
to you without… you know.”

“What?” I saw her smile whip across her face.

“Oh, don’t make me say it.”

Her eyes widened with playfulness. “Teddy, I honestly don’t
know what you’re talking about.”

She knew. And because of that, I allowed myself my next
move. I swooped over on top of her, pushing her to the ground while I rested my
full weight on top of her. My one hand moved behind her head, while the other
grabbed her hip. I lowered my face to hers, longing to feel the warmth of her
breath.

“Do you know what I’m talking about now?” I growled.

“If I say ‘no’, will you show me?”

She was too good. I pushed my pelvis into hers, wanting her
to feel what her teasing was doing to me. I wanted her to know that I knew
words only went so far, and that I was not lying when I told her my body craved
hers. She moaned at my pressure, which only made me push harder. I moved my
mouth to her neck, sucking hard against her skin. Her moan opened to a small
cry, which almost pushed me over the edge.

“You’re not making this easy for me.”

“I never promised to.”

I covered her words with my mouth, punishing her for her
teases. I kept my tongue shallow, only giving her small tastes of my wanting. But
I could tell she wanted more. Her hands moved to my back, and she began clawing
at my shirt. She grabbed my tongue gently between her teeth, trying to draw me
closer, but I held strong. I was not giving in so easy. With one last quick
kiss, I drew back from her.

“What the hell was that?”

“Will power.”

“For who?”

“For us.”

She shook her head, stressfully chuckling at me.

“So why did you ask me why I think women are attracted to
me?”

“Give me a second to calm down, since you so rudely attacked
me.”

“Take all the time you need.” I smiled at her, but she just
shook her head and fell back to the ground. “Oh, it’s like that?”

“Yes, it’s like that.”

I followed suit, but this time, I took her hand in mine. It
felt warm, good, right.

“I’m afraid that there’s a possibility that the reason I’m
attracted to you is solely practical. That everything you said, money, power,
security, is something that I subconsciously crave, and therefore makes me find
you attractive.”

Her admission hurt more than I’d like to admit. Sure, it
made sense, and I could say it about anyone else, but I didn’t want to hear that
from her. I saw her differently. I thought she saw me differently too. Or at
least I hoped she did. But what did I expect? What had I proven to her? Nothing.
To her, I was still a spoiled rich kid who didn’t deserve the life I had been
born into. She had no reason to see me as anything differently.

But still, I had hope.

“Do you still feel that way?”

“I don’t know. I wish…” Her eyes wandered away.

“What do you wish, Ashley?”

“I wish you had no money. Then, I would know. Or at least I
would have a better understanding. But right now, it’s all I can think about.”

I wanted to fight her revelation. I didn’t want to believe
what she was saying.

“So pretend I have no money.”

“I can’t do that. It’s like telling me to forget a valuable
piece of information. I just can’t do that.”

“You believe in magic and fantasy and freaking romantic
comedies. How are you looking at this so practically?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Teddy.”

I sat up, wanting to get away from her, and yet, not at all
wanting to leave her.

“Or maybe I’m just trying to find some way to justify these
feelings?”

I felt her hands on my shoulders, and then the overwhelming
peace as she began to rub her thumbs into my muscles. Her hands skillfully
moved down my back, hitting my rhomboids, my traps, my lats… until I was no
longer upset. I no longer cared. Instead, I was happy she felt she could be so
honest with me. It wasn’t something I encountered everyday… or ever, for that
matter.