Billionaire In Hiding: The Complete Series (Alpha Billionaire Romance Western Love Story) (19 page)

She
moved toward me and reached out to touch my arm. The look of concern on her
face wasn’t something I deserved. She could keep her pity for Ralph and Devin
and their families. Sarah had no idea the truth behind it all. She didn’t know
that it was my fault those men were dead. Sarah had no idea what I had done to
be sent to her ranch and how many lives I had ruined because of my selfishness.
I couldn’t take her sympathy another moment. I didn’t deserve sympathy.

“Go!”
I said firmly as she looked at me and tears continued to stream down my face.

It
caught her off guard how I yelled at her and I was sorry about that. But I
couldn’t have her staying there and looking at me the way she was. I couldn’t
have her asking me a bunch of questions, because I wasn’t going to answer them.
But most of all I wasn’t going to have something happen to her while I had a
breath left in my body. She could hate me if she needed to, but I needed her to
follow her father’s directions and get out of the area.

“Agent
Walker is on his way. He’ll arrive in a couple hours. He said to let local
police do what they needed to do with the scene,” Meredith said as she walked
up to the three of us.
 

Sarah
looked at her mother and then her father; she had no idea what was going on but
she followed her father’s directions and gathered the men to bring up to the
other barn. She was shaking as she walked past me and I wanted to reach out to
her, but I kept my hands to myself. When this was all over with, Sarah wasn’t
going to like me all that much. She was probably going to hate me for lying to
her and hate me for putting her family’s life in danger, but because of her
father, she was alive and so was I.

“I’m
sorry,” I said to Sid as we stood there waiting for the police to arrive.

It
had been a few minutes since Sarah had left with the men and none of us knew
what to say or do. We couldn’t touch anyone and we couldn’t leave. We just had
to stay there and wait. The only thing I could think to say was some sort of
apology for the face that I was there and that those men had come after me.

“Boy,
don’t be sorry. What’s done is done. I’m just glad I took those bastards out.
Your agent will be picking you up when he arrives. You’ll need to gather your
things, but wait until the local police have arrived. I don’t want you
disturbing the crime scene.”

“Has
this ever happened before?” I asked, suddenly curious how Sid seemed to know
the exact protocol for what was going to happen next.

“Not
exactly. But you’d be surprised at how many people we’ve hidden here and how
many criminals have tried to find them. It’s the first time someone actually
worked their way into the property though. We’ve had deaths on our ranch
before, but it’s usually ranch hands getting drunk and stupid.”

“It’s
all my fault. I shouldn’t have gone into town when I first got here. I’m so
sorry,” I said through my tears.

If
I had been in my right mind, I would have been embarrassed by the amount of
tears I was still shedding. But I wasn’t in my right mind. I was a mess. The
events of the last year had all culminated into that moment and my nerves were
utterly shot. I could have been killed that night. If Sarah and I had decided
to go back to my cabin, we both would have been dead at that very moment. It
was enough to shake me all the way down to my soul.

“Come
on now, Garrett, that was months ago. We can’t change all that. The important
thing is that you’re still alive,” Meredith said as she hugged me.

I
totally lost all control of my emotions as Meredith’s arms held onto me. It had
been a really long time since I had a good cry and there seemed no better time
than to mourn the lives of two men. I felt safe there with Meredith and even
with Sid. He didn’t seem to be judging my tears at all, although his hands were
still steady as could be. It was impressive to me that Sid had just shot two
men and then wasn’t even shaking at all.

Everything
about my situation was more real in that moment than it had been since that day
over a year before when I was pulled into the questioning room at the police
station. This wasn’t the life I had hoped for, but it was my life and my
mistakes. I hated that other people’s lives had been taken all because of
mistakes I had made.

I
could hear the sirens roaring in the distance and felt like I was in a daze as
they arrived on the ranch. Meredith and I walked over to the front porch and
sat down while Sid talked to the officers. The sun was coming up and it helped
to illuminate the full scene as the officers swept the rest of the ranch to
make sure there were no other people hiding and waiting to kill people.

Meredith
talked to me and even held my hand a little as she calmed my nerves. I could
tell she was a great mother and wished my own mom was still alive. I would have
loved to of had a hug from my own mother that day. But Meredith would do just
fine. She was sweet and calm as she kept me busy talking and tried to avoid any
conversation about the incident that had just happened.

When
they got to the barn, one of the officers noticed the secret love nest in the
attic and came to talk to Sid about it. I walked over toward him and was ready
to admit to what had happened between Sarah and I, but apparently I didn’t have
to. Sid already seemed to know. Maybe it was because both Sarah and I had come
out of the barn that morning, or maybe Sid had known all along; but he clearly
knew that Sarah and I had been sleeping together.

“No,
they weren’t up there. My daughter and Garrett were up there,” Sid said as he
pointed to me.

“What’s
your name?” one of the officers asked me, as he looked at his notebook and
seemed not to be able to find the name that Sid had given him.

It
seemed like a simple enough question and yet I didn’t exactly know how to
answer him. I had gone by Garrett Reynolds for a year, but that wasn’t my real
name. Which name was I supposed to give him? Could I even trust him? I really
didn’t know.

“Garrett
Reynolds,” I said with an unsure voice.

“It’s
okay, I know this man. His name is Chief Canter. You can trust him,” Sid said.

That
was all I needed to know. If Sid trusted the man, I knew beyond a doubt that I
could trust him as well. I would have given the man my real name right away,
but I had been told to never give that out when I arrived at the ranch.

“My
name is Malcolm Edwards,” I said.

“The
FBI will be here shortly, they are going to want to get Malcolm out of here and
safe as quickly as possible. Can he grab his things from the cabin?” Sid asked.

“I’ll
have one of my guys go in with him.”

“Thanks.”

Sid
patted me on the back as we stood there and watched the crime scene
investigation as it unfolded. I was really glad I had been placed there with Sid
and his family. I was certain had I been anywhere else, I wouldn’t have been
alive at that moment. Sid had saved my life. I would always remember him and
all my time at the ranch, no matter what else was in store for me with the
trial and my future.

It
took the police over three hours before they cleared my cabin so I could go in
and grab my things. Not like I had anything else to do with my time, but did
seem like a very long wait for the five minutes that I was in the cabin to
gather my things. There weren’t many things that I had to grab. Some clothes,
my journal, and a few small items I carried with me when I arrived.

The
moment was surreal as I walked out the back door of the cabin with the same
small bag that I had arrived with. I needed to find Sarah. I couldn’t leave
without talking to her first. The agent was going to be there at any moment and
I had to find her.

“Where’s
Sarah?” I asked Sid.

“At
the barn up north.”

“I’m
going to take Buckjoy up there and say goodbye before I have to leave,” I said
as I started to leave.

“Sorry,
son. You’re not going anywhere; Chief Canter said I need to make sure you’re
still alive when the agent arrives for you.”

I
looked desperately at the officer and then over to Sid, neither of them seemed
to care at all that I would totally destroy Sarah’s heart if I left without
even saying goodbye to her. I had to talk to her. I had to apologize for the
lies I had told and the omissions I had left out. I couldn’t have her last
memory of me being my yelling at her to go.

“Please,”
I begged Sid.

“No.”

He
didn’t look at me at all when he answered. I wasn’t sure if he was angry at me
for wanting to say goodbye to Sarah or angry because I was pushing them to say
goodbye even after they told me no. Maybe he was angry that Sarah and I had
been together; I really didn’t know. But I had to risk it. If I risked nothing
else at all, I had to risk them being angry at me so I had the opportunity to
see her and explain my side of things.

I
looked to Meredith for help. She was kind and understanding, certainly she
would say something in my defense so I could go say goodbye to Sarah. Meredith
wouldn’t want her daughter’s heart broken; I was sure of it.

But
as I looked at Meredith, she turned just shook her head and motioned for me not
to push it. She was on their side. No one wanted me to see Sarah or say
good-bye to her. My stomach was in knots thinking about how much she was going
to hate me.

We
waited and watched as the coroner came and picked up the dead bodies. Then,
just like clockwork, Agent Walker arrived to take me away. He exchanged
pleasantries with the local police and then with Sid before coming over to
check on me.

“Sorry
it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. And sorry it’s under these
circumstances.”

“I
have a friend that’s up at the north barn. I need to say goodbye to her before
we leave,” I responded to him without exchanging the normal pleasantries.

Agent
Walker looked at Sid who shook his head no, and that was all it took for my
request to be denied. I knew I had lost the battle. I was exhausted from the
events of the morning and the adrenaline had drained from my body and left me
so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. As much as I wanted to see Sarah, I
had to admit defeat.

“Let’s
get you back home. They have scheduled you to testify via video tape and are
hopeful that Gordano will take a plea after seeing that you’re still alive.”

“Okay,”
I said in defeat.

I
turned toward Sid to tell him what I thought of him and all he had done for me.
Sure I was angry that he didn’t want me to say goodbye to Sarah, but that
didn’t matter. I knew he had gone above and beyond to keep me safe and that
deserved my praise.

“I’ll
never forget you, Sid. You’re a man I’d like to be someday. Thanks for everything,”
I said as I extended my hand and he grabbed a hold of it.

“Keep
yourself out of trouble.”

“I
will.”

Meredith
walked over and I was about to extend my hand to say goodbye to her, but then I
reached for her and gave her one last hug. She had been the first person to hug
me when I arrived and she would be the last hug I got before I left.

“You
tell Sarah the truth for me. Tell her what we had was real. Please,” I said in
her ear.

Meredith
just looked at me and smiled as I pulled away. I wanted to hear her say that
she would tell Sarah. I needed to know that Sarah wasn’t going to be told what
a horrible person I was. It might not matter at all, but I wanted some sort of
affirmation that Meredith would tell Sarah the truth.

“It
was a pleasure meeting you,” Meredith said sweetly as she stood there with Sid.

They
both waved at me as I walked to the car and got in with agent Walker. My time
at the Miller ranch had saved my life. They had provided me the protection I
needed while I waited for the trail and all I had given them was a horrific
crime scene to clean up after.

I
felt empty as we drove away. Like nothing I had contributed over the last year
had mattered at all. All I could hope for was that they would forgive me for my
mistakes and that Sarah would be able to look back fondly on the time we had
together. I had to truth that she would be able to see I was genuine with her,
even if I had lied to her about my past.

Chapter 14

Sarah

“Do
you want to come help me with breakfast?” my mother asked me as she stood over
my bed.

“No,
I want to sleep.”

“Honey,
it’s been two weeks. We need to move forward.”

“I’m
tired mom. Maybe I’ll get up tomorrow and help.”

My
mother meant well, I knew it. She just didn’t like seeing me sad. Hell, I
didn’t like being sad. I had expected Garrett would leave eventually, but I had
always expected to have plenty of time to say my goodbyes. I just wasn’t ready
to have him totally gone from my life without any notice at all.

For
months we had spent every single day together and then suddenly he was gone. I
tried to understand why he had left; my brain knew it wasn’t his choice and he
had probably no option to stay. But my heart hurt. It hurt thinking of Garrett
living his life without me.

Even
though we had settled on our relationship being just fun, deep down I thought
it might be more someday. I thought he would grow to care about me and decide
he wasn’t going to run off to Washington for that job.

But
as the details of everything unraveled, I learned that Garrett wasn’t going to
a job in Washington. He wasn’t going anywhere. My father had been hired by the
FBI to hide Garrett at our home and keep him safe until he testified against
some drug dealer or something. It all sounded really good and legitimate, yet I
couldn’t shake the feeling that Garrett had lied right to my face. He hadn’t
just done it once; everything I knew about the man was in question.

“You
know your father and I weren’t allowed to tell you about the program. We are
sorry we had to lie to you. But Garrett, I mean Malcolm, wasn’t allowed to tell
you either. You can’t stay mad at us all forever.”

“I’m
not mad, mother. I’m tired. Can you just let me sleep?” I lied.

 
Of course I was mad at Garrett, or Malcolm, or
whatever his name was. And I was also mad at my parents for keeping me in the
dark during the whole thing. If my parents were allowed to know all the
details, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t have been told about everything.

Instead,
the three of them conspired to keep me in the dark and pretend that Garrett was
a totally different person. This Malcolm guy wasn’t even someone I would have
liked. I hated the corporate guys who were so self-absorbed that they couldn’t
see a decent woman standing right in front of them. I liked Garrett, the drifter
who wanted to make something of himself. That was the man I had fallen in love
with.

“All
right, but I’m coming back to check on you after breakfast.”

“Maybe
make it after lunch so I can actually get some sleep,” I said as I pulled the blankets
up over my head.

I
wasn’t mad at my mother or my father; frustrated would have been a better word
for it. As an educated woman, I understood there were rules in place around
them agreeing to work with the FBI. In fact, I found it pretty cool that they
had been hosting FBI witness protection people for the last twenty years. It
made a lot of sense to me when they started explaining everything. I remembered
so many of the men who had been at our ranch. It made a lot more sense that
those men were from the program and not people my father had chosen to hire.

Like
the guy who never worked past noon. I could never figure out why my father kept
him around. It had been one of those things that baffled me and my father never
could give me a good explanation for keeping the guy. It was a relief to have
some of those puzzle pieces from my past finally falling into place. But I
stubbornly still wished that they had been able to tell me the details of what
was going on. If I had been informed, I would have been much more emotionally
prepared when Garrett left the ranch.

I
wasn’t mad at Garrett, or Malcolm, either; if I really thought about it, I
wasn’t angry—I was sad. My mother had explained to me that he wanted to say
goodbye before he left and she told me how sad he had been that they made him
leave without seeing me. From what she told me, I could tell that he was a
decent guy, but it still didn’t change the fact that I had started to have
feelings for a man who wasn’t at all who he said he was. And even if I did get
over that information, he was gone and would never be back again.

My
heart still hurt though and I couldn’t make the hurting stop. Garrett and I
were friends, at the very least, and I thought he would have given me some sort
of clue to what was going on. He couldn’t have thought I would tell anyone. I
wished I could talk to him, or write to him, but my father didn’t have contact
information for him at all. Well, I hadn’t specifically asked for it, but I
assumed he didn’t know how to get in touch with Malcolm. Once the FBI came to
take him away, my father’s job was complete, and Malcolm was back in the hands
of the government.

I
knew that Garrett’s real name was Malcolm Edwards, but I didn’t know much more
about him at all. It was weird to have known a man intimately and then found
out he wasn’t that person at all. I Googled him and found out he own an airline
or something like that. There were photos of him out at clubs with beautiful
women and partying with celebrities; that man, Malcolm Edwards, looked like the
man I fell in love with but he wasn’t the same person.

Tons
of questions constantly ran through my head when I remembered conversations
that we had had together. Were his parents really dead? Did he really come from
Wyoming? Was he really writing in a journal so he could write a book someday?
There was no way of knowing what had been real and what had been just part of
his story.

I
questioned everything that he said, every conversation and confidence we had
had together. How much of the Garrett that I knew was the same as the real man
named Malcolm? I might never have the answers. There was a genuine possibility
that I would never see Garrett again and that I would have to learn to live
with the questions that were filling my mind constantly.

My
mother was right; I needed to get up out of bed and start participating in my
own life again, but I was just so tired. My whole body physically hurt at the
thought of climbing out of bed and each day I put it off. I kept telling myself
it would get better. I would stop missing Garrett. I would get over him. But
the truth was that it had been two weeks and I still missed his touch terribly.

Garrett
had been a great love to me. His personality, his smile, even his damn body
were embedded in my brain and I couldn’t forget about them. I didn’t know if I
wanted to forget about them. I had fond memories of our time together and I
just needed to figure out how to combine those fond memories with the reality
that he was gone and would never be coming back.

As
much as I wanted to sleep my morning away, I just couldn’t sleep. My mind raced
with thoughts and questions about Garrett and I finally sat up in bed and
turned the news on. The morning national news was bound to lull me back to
sleep.

“International
drug smuggling king, Frank Gordano, was found murdered in his cell this
morning,” the newswoman said. “He was set to stand trial after murdering a
pilot with Edwards Aviation last year. The CEO of Edwards Aviation, Malcolm
Edwards, had been in hiding preparing to testify against the drug king. It’s
unknown if he will retake control of his company now that Gordano has been
murdered.”

I
sat up in bed at looked at the screen in awe as a picture of Garrett, or
Malcolm, flashed across the screen. He looked so different in the picture they
had of him. He was in a tailored suit with his hair shorter and it took me a
minute to realize the person on the screen and the person I knew were the same.
He didn’t look like the douchebag I had seen in the clubs when I had searched
Google for him.

When
my father had explained what the protection program was and how it worked with
our ranch, I knew that Garrett had been mixed up in something dangerous. I knew
it the moment I had walked out of the barn and saw poor Ralph and Devin
murdered. Garrett looked so distraught in that moment and I only wanted to
comfort him, but he wouldn’t even allow it. I could only make assumptions as to
why he pushed me away, but it didn’t matter any longer.

I
was happy for Garrett though. The news that the man who wanted him dead was
actually dead himself had to be good for him. I hoped he would be able to get
back to his own life and maybe even forget about the horrors he had gone
through at our ranch. Even if I never saw him again, I wished only happy things
for Malcolm. Under the lies that I still had to sort out in my head, I knew he
was a good man. Maybe not the right man for me, but he was a good man.

The
news had given me a small feeling of closure though. Garrett was going to go
back to his old life and I figured I would have to go back to mine. There was
no use in sleeping my life away, I needed to get up and get moving. My mother
was right: I had a life of my own to live and lying around in bed wasn’t going
to help me at all.

Reluctantly,
I climbed out of bed and into the shower. I was going to make an effort at my
day and see if I couldn’t shake the feeling of loss that had been hovering over
me since Garrett had left. It felt like he was dead to me and I supposed the
man I knew was dead. Instead of Garrett, there was a man named Malcolm walking
around the world and getting back to the life he had taken a break from.
Garrett didn’t even exist; he was a made-up person who had hidden at my
family’s ranch to stay safe. Garrett was no more real than a dream and it was
about time I tried to forget about him.

Most
of my memories of Garrett seemed skewed by the picture of the man I saw on the
television. That man looked like he hadn’t struggled a day in his life, he was
rich and good looking. Malcolm Edwards wasn’t the man I fell in love with and
the reality of that hit me hard as I walked toward the gathering room to help
my mother with breakfast. The man that I had shared so many conversations and
nights with had talked about losing his parents at a young age and struggling
hard to get where he was. It didn’t seem to match up at all with that rich man
I had seen on the news.

Work
on the ranch had returned to a somewhat normal pace again. My mother and father
had decided to stop working with the FBI and take a much needed break from that
world. Life went on for us and that meant we were up early and taking care of
the ranch, just like normal. The animals that we cared for didn’t care about
the drama that was going on around us; they still had needs and we still had to
take care of them.

“You
got up,” my mother said excitedly as I walked into the kitchen area.

“Oh,
mom, you are just so convincing, I couldn’t stay sleeping another moment
longer.”

“Well
get to cutting up those vegetables for me,” she said as she pointed to a pile
of onions, peppers, and mushrooms. “I’ve gotten a little behind this morning.
I’m glad you came down to help.”

“Omelets?”
I asked.

“Yep,
it’s their favorite. Everyone is going to be here soon; just bring those
vegetables up to me when you get them done.”

My
mother grabbed a few things and made her way to the front of the line so she
could start making omelets for everyone. I curled my fingers under and held
onto an onion as I started to chop it up.

The
memory of standing in that exact same sport with Garrett was fresh in my mind
and I couldn’t help but smile. He had pretended like he didn’t know a thing
about chopping vegetables, yet as soon as I showed him what to do Garrett was
slicing and dicing them up like a professional. It made me laugh to think about
how he had tricked me into standing with him and holding his hand to slice up
the vegetables.

I
couldn’t forget about his bandaged hands and those sores that he had from
shoveling horse shit the first few weeks before I had arrived home. I had never
seen anything like that and at least now it made a little more sense why he had
such sensitive hands. Malcolm didn’t look like he had worked much with his
hands at all.

That
moment with Garrett still seemed very much real in my mind. He hadn’t seemed
like he was lying to me. The way he looked at me, the way his hands touched me,
they had all seemed so genuine. I missed that feeling. I wasn’t sure what had
been real between us and what had just been part of his game to occupy his time
while he was on the ranch. Of course, I wanted to think that every moment we
had spent together was totally real, but I wasn’t that naive.

Honestly,
I tried not to blame Garrett, or Malcolm, too much. He was stuck with us and
why not enjoy the time? He was a hot, young guy and he had been a perfect
gentleman with me. He had even warned me on several occasions that he wasn’t
going to be around forever. But I just couldn’t shake the feeling that what we
had might have been the real deal.

When
we were alone together, his looks, his touch, they all felt like reality to me.
I knew that it was real for me, the time I had spent with him was totally real.
I cared about Garrett, even loved him, and now he was gone and I was left on
the ranch to pick up the pieces.

I
hadn’t loved many men in my life, so it was just going to be difficult for me
to work through losing him. But I was a strong woman, I knew that about myself
and I knew eventually his memory would fade away and someone new would show up
in my life. At least my mind knew all of that, the rest of me just had to catch
up.