Billionaire's Secret: Exposing Jay: A Chicago Suits Romance (Loving Jay Book 2) (19 page)

O
n Monday morning
I was still hungover from a weekend of distracting myself with booze and friends. Jay had left countless texts and voicemails and I managed not to respond to a single one.

No matter how much my head throbbed, I had to go to work. I’d missed an entire week, and I’m not sure they could forgive me if I missed anymore.

Jay owned the company, but there’s no way I'd be able to find another job now. I would try, obviously, but the reality is two short-term jobs in a row on a resume would not fly.

Jenny had left before me. After chucking back some Advil, I opened the door to go to work.

As man was standing on the other side and I jumped.

“Abigail McAllister?” He wore an official looking uniform.

“Yes.”

“Divorce papers, sign here please.” I took the pen, my hand shaking as I signed the acknowledgement of receipt.

I opened the envelope. My eyes flew over the document. This was real. I was married. Now I’m getting divorced. Did I need to get a lawyer? Surely not when we’d been married such a short time.

A
week
later I went to the address on the summons. A receptionist showed me into an empty room. A long table took up most of the space, I took a seat at one end of it.

The door opened and Jay walked in wearing jeans and carrying a backpack. My breath stopped at the sight of him. His sunken eyes caught mine, sending a jolt of electricity straight to my heart. He looked rough. Like he hadn’t slept anymore than I had.

“Abbie, Beautiful.” I drank in his voice, it had been so long since I’d heard him say my name. My heart always skipped when he said it. But I must stay strong. He shut the door behind him. The two of us were alone in the room.

“Jay.” I cleared my voice to say it again, at an audible level. “Jay.”

He sat in the chair closest to me, each of us on either side of a corner.

“Are you sure this is what you want? That there’s no way you’ll ever forgive me?”

I closed my eyes and nodded.

“Hear me out.”

I kept my eyes closed. Not wanting him to talk but wanting to hear his words. Stop it. I have to stay firm. I shook my head no, to discourage him.

“You promised me you would never forget how much I love you.”

“I’m not sure you can love me when you lied to me the way you did.”

“Matt is gone from my life. Gone from your life. As far as I’m concerned, he’s dead to me. It’s not my fault he’s my half-brother.”

I hadn’t come prepared for an argument to get back together. I’d come to end the marriage so I could move on with my life and never so much as talk to a man again.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Beautiful, you love me I know you do.”

I blinked back tears, determined not to cry but helpless to stop at the truthfulness of his words. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I cleared my throat.

“That was before I knew what a liar you were. Are.” Through my tears, Jay looked sadder than I’d ever seen him look before. He reached out and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

“I didn’t know how to get you to go out with me, if you’d known Matt was my half-brother.” The tone of his voice changed, became resigned “Matt and I are nothing alike. The only reason I moved my company to Chicago from Lexington was to try to help Matt sort out his life.”

He rested his hands on mine. As much as I wanted to pull them away, I couldn’t. His touch ground me. Electrified me. Calmed me. Set me on fire. I would hold firm. But I didn’t need to make it any more difficult on myself than it had to be.

“And then he told me about you. Showed me photos. Videos. I couldn’t help but want you. I threatened him to stop treating you the way he was, but he didn’t stop. Then I found out he’d been taking your money. That’s when I fired him and had you headhunted.”

My heart melted at his words. At the sadness in his eyes. Everything he’d said was so heartfelt.

I pulled my hands out from under his and buried my face in them. I couldn’t. I had to stop myself.

“Did you lie about your mother making you watch old romance movies too? Had Matt told you I liked them? Was that just something you’d made up to trick me into a relationship?”

“Absolutely not. I never lied about anything that mattered. Anything that was real between us. You have to understand that.”

There was no doubt in my mind he was being totally honest. I’m sure his lies were finished. I wanted to fall into his arms. To bury myself against his chest. But I couldn’t. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t be a sucker anymore.

* * *

“
B
eautiful
, I don’t want to let you go.”

I couldn’t look at him, I would crumble.

“
Y
ou want
our marriage to end? That’s what you want?”

Was that what I want? My head said yes. I nodded.

“In that case I’ve had my lawyers prepare the document. We’ll have to wait six months for the waiting period, but it’s all very straight forward.” He opened the folder. “Sign and date where the blue plastic arrows are and initial beside the yellow ones.”

He laid the folder out in front of me and held out a pen for me to take. My leg jiggled under the table. But I had to go through with this. I had to. I didn’t want to be the world’s biggest sucker. An object of ridicule. I’d go home and watch movies. That’s all I needed.

I flicked the folder up and rested it on the edge of the table as I read it. I had no idea what to expect, I’d never seen divorce papers before.

“This is my final offer.”

The start was practical issues, our names, addresses. I got down to the details.

“What?” I said, confused.

Jay remained quiet and I read the words over and over.

“What’s this supposed to be?” My voice was a mix of wonder and doubt.

“There’s only one thing in life I want. And if I can’t have her, then I at least want her to have the best life possible. Don’t worry, I’ll stay on as chairman and CEO so there’s no disruption to the business. You won’t have to worry. I can even train you to take over from me. You’re more than capable, you have one of the best business brains I know.”

Too bad I don’t have the same brains when it comes to relationships.

“Why are you doing this?”

“You deserve it, after what Matt and I did. It’s my final offer of settlement. You can take me to court if you want, but think how a judge would react to your demand for less than I’m offering.”

Through his sorrow, I got a small glimpse of his normal self confidence, the confidence I first fell in love with. Am in love with. He’s right. There’s no way in hell I ever would have gone on a date with him if I’d known who he was.

“You can’t do this.”

Jay pursed his lips and nodded, his eyes not reaching mine. How could I sign this? I wasn’t about to take away everything he’d worked so hard for. I couldn’t hurt him that much.

“Why not?”

“Because. You’d be giving up everything you’ve worked so hard for.”

“I wouldn’t be giving it up. I’d be surrendering it to you. There’s a big difference. I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do with it all. Alone, it means nothing to me and would only highlight your absence. I couldn’t bear it. If you weren’t in my life, at least if you owned the company I’d have motivation to keep running it.”

I closed my eyes to catch my tears. Jay looked broken. Even his voice had lost its power. How could I hurt him? I loved him too much. My head a mess, I leaned back in my chair, my arms flopping to my sides.

* * *

“
T
ell me about your mother
.” My heart pounded but I had to ask, it’s something I’d been wondering about. How did one mother produce such different men? One a cheat, was the other? Or was he what he seemed, a loving, generous man with a big heart. I opened my eyes to watch him, tears streaked down my cheeks.

“My father died after falling off a horse when I was a baby.” He cleared his throat, then cleared it again. “My mother remarried not too long after when I was still a baby, to Matt’s father, Johnny. After Matt was born, I was nothing to them. Especially to Johnny. I didn’t understand why when I was a kid. I tried everything to make them like me, to approve of me or praise me. When I was a teenager, I found out he wasn't my real father.”

This time it was I who put my hands on Jay’s. Clasped them. Tried to heal him.

He took a deep breath and carried on, “Johnny turned out to be a racetrack grifter. He taught Matt the ropes, to scam and cheat people for a living. It’s a good thing he didn’t treat me like his son, because I would’ve ended up the same way. Instead I vowed to make something of myself and get my mother out of the marriage.”

“Did you? Get her out?” My heart had broken for him, I wanted to embrace him, to take away his pain.

“No. She was blind to it. Instead I had a PI follow Johnny and gathered evidence against him. I turned the file over to the police. He’s in prison now.”

“Did she divorce him after that?”

“No.” Jay shook his head.

“But why?”

“According to her, Johnny’s the best thing that ever happened to her. The fact that he used up all my real father’s money on bad bets wasn’t an issue.”

“I can’t understand it.”

“Love makes people do stupid things.” Jay hung his head. I squeezed his hands, heat coursing from them straight to my heart. And my mind.

“I thought you supported her?”

“I do. I send her ten grand every month.”

“Do you have a good relationship with her now?”

Jay sat back in his chair, his breathing heavy. He leaned forward again, his hands restless on the table.

“I swore I’d answer everything you asked today and not hold anything back. It’s, you know, something I’ve never talked about to anyone.”

This was what my mind needed to hear, in its battle with my heart. I leaned forward and took hold of his hands, stilling them. I waited for him to continue.

“She only speaks to me when she wants more money to buy a new car or take an expensive vacation. She resents me for pressuring her to divorce Johnny. But the real reason she doesn’t like me is that I’ve tried so many times to convince her to help me turn Matt around and get him to live an honest life. She hates me for criticizing her baby, Matt can do no wrong.” He swallowed.

“And you can do no right?”

“Pretty much. My only use to her is as an ATM.”

“So stop giving her money.”

Jay looked up and met my eyes for the first time since he’d started talking about his mother.

“I can’t. She’s my mom.”

Matt used and hurt Jay even more than he’d used and hurt me. The realization made me sob. Heaving sobs that made me glad I’d brought an entire box of Kleenex with me. I couldn’t bear to hear the way his mother treated him. How could she not see what a what a horrible man Matt was? And what a kind, loving soul Jay has?

* * *

T
he genuineness
of Jay’s words, of him, was too obvious to ignore. He wasn’t a liar or a cheat. Not by a longshot. Jay and Matt couldn’t be more different. They are nothing alike.

Jay sat before me, fully exposed. Why he kept himself hidden from me before was understandable. Maybe not ideal, but understandable. I would’ve run a mile in the other direction if I’d known who he was. Or rather, who he was related to.

My instinct was to shower him with my love. In all the time I’d known him, I don’t think I’d ever loved him more than I did at this moment. But.

“I don’t know if I can do this. I’m too gullible.” How could I forgive myself for my willingness to believe his lies, and Matt’s lies? To have to look at myself in the mirror and see nothing but a sucker.

“You’re not gullible, just a hopeless romantic.”

“Why did I ever think real life could be like the movies?”

“It doesn’t matter now. The past is the past. We have to live in the present.”

We sat in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. My hands still resting on his.

The past is the past, but I can learn from it. Learn not to make the same mistake again. Except what if my mistake was in judging Jay by his relationship to Matt? Guilt by association.

I may have been stupid to believe all of Jay’s lies, but I was seeing through them to his core, and at heart he isn’t a liar. He loves me and now he was doing whatever he had to not to keep from losing me. The biggest mistake I could ever make would be in walking away from him now. He needs me. I need him.

* * *

I
became
aware of the stuffiness of the little room. Of the uncomfortably high temperature the heat between us had created.

I had to say it, I owed it to myself, and to him. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and broke the silence.

“Do you, um, want to get a coffee? It’s stuffy in here.” For the first time that week, my heart felt settled. My head was no longer fighting what it needed.

“You’re sure?” Jay asked, his voice vibrant.

Jay stood, taking my hand. He led him out of the room. Led him out of the building to the coffee shop on the corner. A new coffee shop, one neither of us had been in before.