Binding the Shadows (Arcadia Bell) (32 page)

“It definitely is.”

“I think I know why. The spell she used to conceive you is degenerative. Your human body weakens as it ages while the other part of you strengthens. The stronger it becomes, the more control she has over you, because the bond between you will solidify. Your willpower will crumble.”

“She can control me in my sleep.”

“Because you are unaware and weak. The Moonchild part of you uses lunar power to open up a connection between the planes. You can call up the power when you are awake. But she can use a spell to open that same connection when you are weak.”

“When I am asleep.”

“Asleep, weary. Inebriated. Impassioned. Any time you are not in full control of your own willpower.” He held out his palm, showing me the black thread that connected us. “Her connection to you is like ours, but only temporary. The more you grow into the Moonchild, the stronger the bond becomes. And more permanent.”

I curled my hands inside the too long sleeves of Lon’s coat and paced. “But only when it’s night, right?”

“That would be logical since it is a lunar power, and, as you told me, it does not work in the day.”

My throat was dry. “Okay, so I just sleep in the day, when she can’t hack into me. I stay vigilant at night. Don’t use the moon power at all.”

“Even if you do not sleep at night, you will still need to worry.” Priya stepped in front of me and leveled his gaze with mine. “Your loved ones and friends are not safe. She can see into your thoughts and feelings when she is connected to you.”

I blinked at him. He was talking from experience, wasn’t he? He could see into my thoughts and feelings now?

His voice softened. “She can feel who you care about, especially if thoughts of them are fresh in your mind. She will search for your weaknesses, and she will have you destroy them.”

“I can’t run again,” I said miserably. “I can’t do that. I have a family now. I need them. They need me.”

“You should not risk their lives for a moment of comfort. You must erase them from your mind. Get as far away from them as you can.”

“And do what? Wait until this thing inside me is completely under her command?” I was shouting at him. It wasn’t his fault. “What am I?”

“They call you Mother of Ahriman.”

“Mother of demons,” I said. “Is that what I am? A demon? I saw myself, Priya. I was covered in scales. I have a serpent’s tail, and horns. What am I?”

“I do not know. ‘Mother of Ahriman’ is only a story in the Æthyr. A legend. A woman that commands fear and respect. But I do not know exactly who she is, or what manner of being.”

“A goddess? Do I have a god inside me? Is there such a thing in the Æthyr?”

“Not in the Æthyr, but maybe on anther plane.”

My occult order believed in a multitude of planes, many without names. The Æthyr was merely the nearest one to ours, metaphysically speaking.

Priya exhaled loudly through his nose. “But from the way your mother speaks, I believe that you are something altogether new. She has not invoked the spirit of an old god inside you. She has worked like a surgeon to piece together magicks and create a new being.”

It took several moments to sink in. “So I don’t have another being inside me?”

“You are something new that has never been seen.”

I squeezed my eyes shut in despair.

“My concern is for your immediate safety,” Priya said. “If the Moonchild part of you is strengthening, and your mother’s control over you with it, then you need to find a way to stop it from developing. Or a way to unmake it.”

I thought of what I saw when I was poking around inside Yvonne. “If the spell she used to create me is like the spell to create Earthbounds, it is impossible. Demon souls are fused inside human bodies. I can’t get rid of the Moonchild part of me unless I kill myself.”

He grasped my shoulders firmly. “You are not like the Kerubs. You are something very different. All magick can be unmade, or at least lessened. Start with the ritual your parents used to conceive you and work backwards.”

“I don’t know the spell! No one in my order knows it. They kept it secret. The only person who knew about it is dead. It’s lost—gone.”

“They did not invent the ritual,” Priya said softly. “They found it somewhere. Go to your order. Trace their path. Find the ritual. Once you have it, I am certain that we can uncover a way to undo what has been done or, at the very least, cut her bond to you.”

A growing hopelessness weighed me down. I wanted it all to go away. I wanted the small life I’d built. I wanted to be me.

I just didn’t know who that was anymore.

“This is impossible,” I whispered.

“Nothing is impossible, especially for you. You will find a way. And I will help you. I will be your scout, and I will help to protect those you love. The demon boy that is bound to you, I can feel his bond. I can appear to him as I appear to you. If he is in danger, I will cross the veil to protect him. Show him my sigil. He can call me.”

“Oh, God.”

“But you must act quickly. She has bragged that her connection to you may be strong enough in a matter of days or weeks.”

“Strong enough for what?”

Priya’s bare torso crackled.

“No, no, no!” I cried. “Don’t leave me. I need you.”

“I cannot stay.”

“What if she finds you? She’ll hurt you, too.”

“I am careful. At the moment she does not know I am alive or that we have bonded again. I have a new body. It is serving me well. But it does not serve me here, and I must leave.” His wings snapped open, blocking out the filtered moonlight. All I could see were two glossy eyes and the silver glint of his teeth. “Sleep in the daytime only. Do not relax your guard at night. Steel your emotions. Learn to hide your thoughts and create lies in your head—if she manages to connect with you again, you will need that skill before you find the Moonchild ritual.”

“Priya!”

“You need magical protection from her,” he insisted. “Go to your order. If they cannot help you solve the problem, their magicians can shield you until we can find a solution. I will return.” Without another word, he snapped away, disappearing in front of my face. Leaving me alone.

Alone and faced with the abysmal thought of going into hiding again.

I was a fool to think I could ever stop running.

I could never have a normal life. Everything I had was lost before I ever found it.

I didn’t go back to sleep that night. Instead, I walked the meandering road down Lon’s cliff, past Mr. and Mrs. Holiday’s cabin, to the beach. Foxglove kindly escorted me. I watched her sleek Labrador body exploring the driftwood-strewn sand as I sat on some big rocks where Lon and Jupe and I had once built a small bonfire. And I thought.

And thought.

I remembered my parents talking about some old grimoires they’d found in France that contained the ritual they used to conceive me. God only knew where those books were now. Destroyed, maybe. Brought over to the states? My occult order had taken over my parents’ house in Florida after I’d let Nivella take them to the Æthyr. Maybe the Caliph had found something in the house that could be helpful.

It was all such a fucking long shot.

But what else could I do? Sit around until I eventually hurt someone I cared about?

Then I thought of Dare. I couldn’t just run off to Florida and leave Lon and Jupe unprotected when that man was going around killing people who’ve looked at him crooked.

Couldn’t stay. Couldn’t leave. I didn’t know what I was going to do.

I sat thinking for hours. At some point before dawn, Foxglove ran back up the beach path toward the house and returned a couple of minutes later with Lon. I watched his fiery halo flickering across the dark beach as he approached. When he caught up to me, he sat down on the rock next to me. He didn’t ask me why I was out there. He merely pulled me into his arms and said, “Show me what’s wrong and we will fix it.”

•  •  •

Daylight crept over the beach. Feeling fairly confident I was out of my mom’s foul reach, Lon and I made the trek back up to the house. We hadn’t solved my problem, but at least Lon knew everything. And at that point I was exhausted and spent, and knew I needed to force myself to get rest sometime that day if I was going to stay up all night. I’d watched enough Freddy Krueger movies with Jupe to know that sleep depravation always came back to bite you on the ass.

“Get in bed and sleep,” Lon said. “Rose and Adella will be back from the hospital in a few hours. I need to get some work done, but I’ll come upstairs and wake you when they come.”

I rummaged in my pocket and handed him the medicinal I’d given Jupe. “If he’s got a hangover, give him another drop of this in some water. Or crushed ice, if he’s throwing up.”

He kissed my forehead. “I’ll handle him. Go to sleep.”

Amazingly enough, I eventually did.

I woke on my own around three. Rose and Adella showed up as I was getting out of the shower. Mr. and Mrs. Holiday were buzzing around the house as well—I could hear Mr. Holiday teasing Jupe in the living room about making him some disgusting hair of the dog drink with raw eggs.

Normalcy had never sounded so good.

Once I rejoined the group, I found out Yvonne would be released from the hospital that afternoon. Her concussion was okay. No permanent damage. A small relief to the lingering guilt I harbored. Rose and Adella were flying Yvonne back home with them to Portland. She was going to stay with her mother for a few weeks. As long as Rose had the Solomon ring, I supposed she was safe from Yvonne’s knack, or what remained of it. I spoke to her alone while Lon was helping Adella pack.

“You good?” I asked her. “Need any help?”

Rose pushed her glasses higher on her nose. The Solomon ring was loose around her index finger. “We’re going to retrieve Yvonne’s clothes from the hotel, then pick her up from the hospital on the way to the Morella airport.”

“Doctor says it’s okay for her to fly after the concussion?”

“Mick did some healing on her this morning. Scans look fine, so he said it’s okay. Will you be riding out to the city with us?”

Yvonne was the last person I wanted to see right now. “Probably not. My business partner’s coming over, and I’ve got some things to take care of.”

She nodded. “I wanted to thank you for what you did. Lon told me that you put yourself in danger by doing that to Yvonne. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have asked you if I knew.”

After the dream talk with my mother, I now wondered if she was tapped into me during my metaphysical surgery on Yvonne, but what was done, was done. “I just hope you don’t regret asking.”

“Not one bit.” She grasped my hands. Her fingers were firm around mine. “I still don’t know if Yvonne can be saved, but you improved her chances, and I’ll always be grateful for that, no matter what happens. And if there’s ever anything I can do to repay you, please tell me. Because if you’re Lon’s family, you’re my family.”

If I hadn’t spent half the night emptying myself of tears, I would’ve cried. But as it was, all I could manage was a “thank you.” My early impressions of her had completely faded. I saw her as Lon did now, I supposed: strong, stubborn, beautiful, and utterly dedicated to her family. She was a good mom. I’d trade her for mine in a heartbeat.

Jupe appeared on the back patio and came inside through sliding glass doors.

“How you feeling?” I asked.

“Stupid.”

I smiled at him.

“When are we leaving for the airport, Gramma?”

“Soon. Need to be there in a couple of hours.”

Which didn’t give me much time—a little over an hour before the sun would set, and I had things to do. I stopped Jupe on his way upstairs. “Can I talk to you? In private.”

Rose held up her hands. “Don’t let me stop you.”

I mumbled my thanks and led Jupe to the front door. “Here,” I said, snagging his army green field coat off a hook on the way out. “It’s cold.”

He slipped it on as we marched down the driveway under a dreary afternoon sky. I counted our steps as we went. “You’re already way out of her range, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jupe said.

“Just making sure.”

“Is this about last night?” Jupe said in a low voice.

I shook my head as the sound of a car drew our attention to the side gate. “Crap. Kar Yee.”

“Kar Yee?” he said, but his excitement soon sputtered. “Does she know about last night? You didn’t tell her, did you?”

“I didn’t tell her, don’t worry.”

She sped down the side road and pulled into the circular driveway behind the Giovanni’s rental car. When she spotted us, she waved a hand and headed our way. “Nice digs, future boyfriend. I almost got lost on the mountain trying to find your secret back road.”

He grinned goofily. “I’m glad you’re all healed up now.”

“Me too. Good as gold,” she said, pinging her collarbone with her fingers. She reached into her jacket and pulled out a red envelope. “This is for you,” she said, handing it to Jupe.

“Me?”

“It’s movie passes,” she said before he even had a chance to open it. “No big deal.” She was mildly embarrassed. “You did that stuff for the Tambuku website, and I really liked that opera figure. It was sweet. You’re a good kid.”