BindingPassion (3 page)

Lady Mary watched the man seated nearby and wondered if she
could really have heard him say what she thought she’d heard. It couldn’t be
possible. It must be the longings of her heart twisting the words into the
semblance of what she hoped to hear.

“My lord?” she asked, hating herself for the stupid, pitiful
way it sounded.

“Lady Mary, I confess I’m almost as astonished myself as
you, no doubt, are. Yet I think it an excellent solution.”

“My lord…” She sounded witless, repeating herself like this.
“I know not what to say. Of the things I might have expected from you, this
would be the very last. I find it difficult to understand why you should offer
such. I’ve tormented you and made your life a misery since you arrived. I can
bring you nothing, as I’ve just told you. You have this estate and your prowess
as a warrior, and you’re quite…well-favored. You could surely expect to make a
more advantageous marriage.”

He was indeed well-favored. She thought him perhaps the most
handsome man she’d ever seen, with his tall, straight carriage and the dark
hair that curled becomingly around his well-shaped head. His fine, dark-blue
eyes held flickering lights when he laughed or smiled, or even when his anger
flared, and a well-trimmed beard enhanced rather than hid the sleek lines of
his cheek and jaw.

“You bring me much that I seek,” Sir Philip answered.
“Knowledge of the land and the people, the household and the accounts. But more
besides. You’re a clever woman, resourceful, spirited, and courageous. Most
other ladies would have whined or moaned or berated me for my harsh treatment
of you. I believe we should deal together very well. And…”

For the first time he seemed hesitant and flushed a little.

“And what, my lord?”

He swallowed quickly. “You’re fair of face and graceful of
carriage. I believe you’d be a wife any man would be proud to claim.”

Mary shifted uncomfortably and winced. For a moment she’d
forgotten the state of her rear end, and the pain and humiliation he’d
inflicted on her. Yet much as she might wish to do so, she couldn’t hold it
against him in light of the things she’d done to bedevil him. She had deserved
it for tormenting him so. And his penalty had been nowhere near as harsh as it
might have been. In fact, she found a part of her relished his strength and
sternness. But no, she wouldn’t permit such thoughts. She considered his offer
and realized she was very tempted by it.

“You, too, have much to recommend you as a husband, Lord
Philip. You’re a strong, courageous man, well-spoken and well-favored. Yet you
have no wife or betrothed already?”

“As the younger son of a minor lord, there was no advantage
to arranging an early match with me. When I reached manhood, I chose to wait
until I could favor my lady with the means to keep her well.”

“My lord,” she said, choosing her words carefully, “I know
it’s common for a betrothal to take place between two people who know each
other not at all, and that many strong marriages result, but I fear we two know
little of each other and have none to vouch for us.”

“You have the loyalty of your household. That has been made
very clear to me since yesterday’s events, and it speaks well of your nature
they value you so. For myself, I could summon forth a few friends to testify to
my character. I believe I’m generally accounted loyal, courageous, strong
enough at arms, and fair besides.”

“I’ve little doubt on that score, my lord. Even prior to
yesterday’s events, I was beginning to have second thoughts about my course.”

“Yet you didn’t turn from it?”

“I…I wasn’t prepared to, just yet.”

“I trust you’ve turned from it now.”

“You’ve twisted that course out of all recognition. My head
is near to spinning now as I consider how to proceed.”

“The decision shouldn’t be so difficult as that, my lady.
You have few choices and one should certainly seem to offer great advantages
over the others.”

“You’re correct in that, my lord. But there are…other
factors to consider.”

Lord Philip moved closer to her. Mary tried hard to control
her urge to flinch away from him and nearly managed it.

He noted it, however. “Does my harsh treatment of you stand
between us?” he asked. “Did it paint me in the image of Sir Benwyck in your
eyes?”

It hadn’t occurred to her he might draw that conclusion. “My
lord, no! Though your punishment was harsh, it was neither unjust nor sinful.
Your behavior to all here has, in truth, been all that is honorable and
courteous.” She met his deep blue eyes and found them full of curiosity and
sympathy. A sudden yearning filled her heart, a desire for this man’s good
regard, his respect, and maybe more. But he deserved more than the little she
could give him.

“Then what does stand between us?” he asked.

She drew a deep breath. She owed him her complete honesty,
for the generosity of his offer, if for naught else. But it was hard…She
dreaded to see the disgust on his face when he learned the truth.

“This is difficult to speak of, my lord. Please understand
if I seem to express myself poorly.” She stiffened her spine and her spirit. “I
can be no true and proper wife to you.”

She watched his eyes and saw naught there but curiosity.

“I understand you might find such personal matters difficult
to talk of,” he answered. “But in light of my offer, I believe I have the right
to ask the why of that state.”

“You have the right, my lord.” She swallowed hard. “You’ve
no doubt noticed I find it difficult to endure your touch.”

“Rather more like impossible, I think.”

“Aye. If I can endure not the touch of a man’s finger, think
you how I should react to…contact of a more intimate nature.”

“Ah. I begin to see,” Lord Philip admitted. “Has it always
been thus for you?”

“Nay.” She stared at her hands where her fingers twined
together in a fleshy knot. “Your predecessor…the conqueror who preceded you,
Sir Benwyck…created the repulsion. He wanted something similar to what you
asked, but he made no such polite offer. When I refused his demand for an
immediate joining, he took my body by his strength alone, believing my will
would be crushed or turned to his way.”

“He forced you?”

“Many times,” she admitted. Gathering her courage, she
looked up into his eyes, forcing herself to brave the disgust and anger she
expected to see. The anger she found, but not the disgust. In its place she saw
sadness along with a fury that brought a vivid sparkle to his eyes.

“And that is why you drove him off, and tried to do likewise
with me. You had no way of knowing I would never stoop to such a deed. No man
of honor could act thusly. The world truly is better with him no longer in it.
My lady, no words of mine could ease your pain or calm your distrust.”

“Nay, my lord, and therefore I understand if you wish to
rescind your offer.”

The anger faded a bit and a curious half-smile twisted his
lips. “Nay, I don’t so wish.” He sighed. “It does make our situation…less
simple.” He studied her face for a moment before he said, “My lady, would you
favor me with your hand?”

She stared at him, wondering what he was about.

“I’ll do naught but hold it in mine own,” he said. “I
promise that for now, I’ll do nothing more. And if you truly can’t bear it, you
have only to ask me to release it.”

Mary nodded, debated a moment, and decided to trust him. She
put her hand out toward him, trying to keep it from shaking.

He reached out with his own right hand and very gently
wrapped his long fingers around hers. The touch was light and careful,
demanding nothing, offering…everything. If only she had the courage to accept
it.

Though her stomach had begun to clench and roil at the
contact, it relaxed again after a moment as the fear faded. It wasn’t so very
unpleasant to have him hold her so. His hand was warm, his clasp just firm
enough to keep her from shaking, but not so tight she couldn’t pull away at any
time. So long as she knew she could withdraw easily, there was no terror. But
there was something else, an unexpected reaction on her part. Small streaks of
heat poured from his flesh into hers and traveled along her arm. They reached
her heart and went deeper yet, into her very being.

He watched her intently. After a moment she raised her eyes
from their clasped hands to meet his gaze. She found care and encouragement in
his face. Pride and satisfaction grew there, too, as she watched him. His
pleased smile was kind.

“I knew I could trust your courage,” he remarked. “May I put
my other hand on yours, as well?”

At her nod, he put his left hand on top so that her palm
nestled between both of his two. He didn’t squeeze or clutch at her, just held
on lightly and comfortingly.

“You can tolerate this?” he asked.

“Aye, my lord. For a short time, at least.”

“It’s a start. Lady Mary, my offer to you will remain open
for a year and a day. During that time we’ll work together to restore the manor
to its former prosperity. With your permission, I’ll also try to build your
confidence and at the same time rouse your interest in a deeper relationship
with me. But I promise, may God witness it, I’ll force nothing on you.”

He grinned an alarmingly sensual and compelling smile. “I
shall certainly try to seduce your interest in me. In fact, I shall do all in
my power to bring you to the point of desiring naught but the closest and most
complete union with me, but should anything I do frighten or repulse you, you
have but to say a word and I’ll stop.”

He held her gaze with his own, dark and intent, as he
continued. “I’ll not make my offer again until we’re both satisfied you can
truly be a proper wife to me. And I’ll not penetrate you until you beg me for
it. Should we not have reached that goal at the end of the year and a day,
we’ll consider other possible arrangements. What say you, my lady?”

“My lord, I know not—”

“I promise I’ll do naught you dislike or fear. In truth, I
fully believe I can teach you there’s much pleasure to be found in the joining
of a man and woman who respect and care for each other.” He stroked his left
hand lightly across the top of hers, a very gentle touch, but it sent the most
delightful, disturbing vibrations through her. She sucked in a sharp breath as
a curl of warmth unfurled in her belly.

Because she was still more than a little fearful of the
idea, she asked him, “And will you promise not to punish me again?”

She wondered what he heard in the question. His expression
turned cautious and wry. Then she realized he had no more reason to trust her
than she had to believe in his promises.

“Nay, lady, that I can’t promise, and well you know it. But
this I do give you. I’ll never punish you for refusing or rejecting me in
matters relating to the physical relations between a man and woman. You must be
free to tell me “nay” or “cease” at any time, and I’ll honor your request with
no harshness. On other matters, however, should honor or justice demand it, I
will not spare you appropriate discipline, no more than I would any other
member of this household.”

Something he saw in her expression told him she still had
doubts. He frowned, thought a moment, and added, “Should it ever come to that
end, and you feel my discipline unjust, I give you leave to tell me so and ask
that I rethink. I do not promise to alter any such judgment, but I do promise
to think it through again and take your thoughts into consideration.”

“And yourself, my lord? Do you leave yourself subject to the
same discipline?”

His sudden frown transmuted gradually into a smile. “Aye,
lady,” he said softly. “I do not exempt myself. Should they truly believe I
have offended honor or justice in my actions, the household may call for a
judgment on it and I’ll do my utmost to judge the case as though the accusation
were made against another.” His smile broadened. “There be no reason now why
anyone here would believe that, but should such a case arise, upon my honor
I’ll demonstrate my adherence to the demands of justice.” His expression grew
serious again. “I truly want to make this keep my home and these people my family.
‘Twill take time, I know, but I want to win their trust, to have them know me
as a lord they can respect. And I would win your trust as well, my lady. And
your respect and affection.”

Now he ran just the tips of his fingers across the back of
her hand, and she shivered at the tingles left in their wake. He lifted her
fingers, still clasped between his, to his cheek. “Can we but try it?”

She could resist him no longer. She smiled and said, “Aye,
my lord. We’ll make the trial.”

He hesitated a moment as though surprised by her
capitulation, but his smile made clear he was pleased with the result. “Come to
me, then, when you’re well enough to assume your duties.”

Philip had been waiting for it all morning, but the sharp
knock on the open door that roused him from his concentration wasn’t the
interruption he expected. He dropped the sheets of the steward’s notes about
usage of various foodstuff he’d been reviewing and looked up.

His second-in-command, Sir Thomas, his nephew Sir Peter, and
Derwyn came in at his nod. He nodded at the chairs along one wall of the room.
“Bring them here.”

Each man grabbed a chair and dragged it close to the table
serving as his desk. “You need to get out from behind there and come give us a
round in the lists,” Sir Thomas said. “There are none here with sword-skill
enough to offer any challenge.” He sighed lightly. “We have few enough anyway.”

“We need more men to train in arms,” Peter added. “In the
meantime, though, we need you to give us true testing.”

“I’ll do so later,” Philip promised. “For now I’m finding
that being lord of an estate requires almost as much skill at ciphering and
letters as more active pursuits. I have much to learn about it.”

“There’s much to do around here to secure the place,” Sir
Thomas agreed. “You should look to replacing the gates as soon as you can. The
walls need work, too. In places the stone itself is crumbling. It appears
repairs have been neglected for years. The wood in the gates is rotting and the
hinges are pulling out of the posts.”

Peter nodded. “The few fighting men there are seem to be
armed with rough pikes and little else.”

“The serfs are complaining about equipment that needs
replacing as well,” Derwyn added. “One showed me the only plow he has. He was
using rope to hold it together in places. Said he’d been asking the lords of
the place for years for a replacement but was told he’d have to wait.”

Philip sighed and rubbed his eyes. “There’s much to do here,
but I know not where to start.”

“The fortifications must be repaired right away,” Sir Thomas
said. “We’re vulnerable to any lord with more than a few dozen men invading and
conquering.”

“But if the serfs can’t plow, we won’t have enough food for
next winter. What point strong fortifications do we all starve to death?” Derwyn
added.

“What of the harvest this year?” Philip asked.

“I’m told it’s adequate, though the steward said ‘twould be
a stretch to feel all with the extra men now in residence.”

“Meaning us, I presume?”

“Aye, my lord.”

“Philip, another year and some of the wall will collapse
entirely,” Thomas protested.

“Without more soldiers we can’t possibly defend the place,”
Peter said.

Philip held up a hand. “I’ll work on plans for all the
repairs to be done. Sir Thomas, develop a list of all that needs to be done to
the fortifications and try to put it in order of importance. Derwyn, do the
same for the farming. Peter, you for the weapons.”

The men nodded. When they rose to depart, Philip said,
“Derwyn, how fares Master Ross this morning?”

“As normal, my lord. He’s back in the barn, feeding the
horses. His spirits appear restored.”

Thomas looked at him and asked, “Is it true, my lord, as
Derwyn claims, that Master Martin is not exactly what he seemed?”

“It’s true. Master Martin is Lady Mary Alderwood, daughter
and sister of the last barons but one. She wore the disguise of a young man
because she’d been treated foully by Benwyck of Cryll when he took the keep at
Sir William’s orders. She feared to receive similar treatment from me.”

“She cannot be happy with you after…”

“After I whipped her for the pranks she played?” Philip
finished. “She’s a rather extraordinary lady. I believe she actually saw the
justice in my actions. She was not pleased to be on the receiving end of it,
need I say, but I think she understood why it was necessary.”

“Then she is an unusual lady,” Derwyn said. “But, what will
you do about her, my lord? Find some lord to marry her off to? Can you dower
her?”

“Nay, I cannot dower her, but I can marry her off.” He
laughed harshly. “If I can get her to accept my offer.”

Derwyn sucked in a sharp breath.

Sir Peter laughed. “Your offer, my lord? You asked her to
marry you?” He sounded as though he expected Philip to call it a joke and
waited for his friend to deny it. When he didn’t, Peter added, “A lady who tried
to kill you? You wish to spend the rest of your life guarding your back in
bed?”

He had a few doubts about that, too, Philip admitted to
himself. No point in his men knowing about them, however. “She knows now she
gains more by my protection than by my death.”

Thomas’s eyebrows rose. “I very much hope you’re right about
that, my friend.”

“You may rest assured,” a female voice said from behind
them. “I know this keep needs a strong lord to hold it and restore it.”

The men turned to stare at the young woman in the doorway.
Dressed in a white shift with a green overdress, her face framed by a green
wimple, Lady Mary made a strikingly graceful and attractive figure. Derwyn,
Thomas, and Peter gaped, but finally Derwyn said, “My lady. I’m pleased to see
you about.”

“Thank you, sir,” she said.

Philip stood and walked to meet her as she entered the room.
“Lady Mary,” he said, “May I make known to you my friends, Sir Thomas Preston
of Westvale, Derwyn of Eastchester, and my nephew, my sister’s son, Sir Peter
Wrathkin?”

The men bowed in acknowledgement. She curtsied to them as
well, offering a charming smile that had a visible effect. Derwyn’s face lit up
as he returned the grin, and Peter seemed a bit dazed. Thomas regarded her with
a more reserved, thoughtful expression. Finally the men recovered their senses
and excused themselves to go about their assigned tasks.

Once they’d departed Philip turned to Lady Mary. “You’re
certain you’re well enough to be up?” he asked.

“I’m quite well, my lord,” she said. “Only a trifle sore in
the rump. Naught that will keep me from work, and in truth I was becoming
restless. There’s always much to do, and affairs will go awry do I not keep
close watch on them.”

Philip nodded. “Perhaps you can help me read and evaluate
this list from the steward. I confess this is beyond my current knowledge.”

She nodded. “Aye. Affairs grew into a huge tangle during Sir
Benwyck’s stay, and I’d yet to restore order when you arrived.”

“Then help me sort this out,” he invited.

They worked on the paperwork together for another hour, then
they proceeded to make a tour of the manor. Though he’d been introduced to many
of the people before, with Lady Mary as his companion, he received a much
warmer welcome and found everyone more willing to share information and accept
the suggestions he made. He was surprised that so few mentioned or seemed
concerned about his treatment of the lady. Perhaps her apparent acceptance of
his actions and his presence won him their regard as well.

He was pleased to find so much of his assessment of the lady
confirmed as he watched her interact with the servants of the manor and deal
with problems brought to her attention. She was intelligent, charming, firm
when she needed to be, but understanding as well. She settled a dispute between
the steward and the cook by suggesting a compromise that satisfied both. Before
accepting their agreement, however, she turned to Philip to ask if her solution
would be acceptable to him.

“It appears a reasonable suggestion,” he said. “Let it be
so.”

Her smile lit her face in a way that nearly outshone the
torches lighting the dimmer corridors. Her green-flecked eyes sparkled. He had
a sudden desperate urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her. His cock reared
and grew heavy at the thought.

As they made their way out of the room and down to the
storerooms, he put a gentle hand on her arm to stop her in the corridor.
Mindful of his promise, he restrained himself and only smiled at her. “Thank
you,” he said. “Already you’ve made more progress in restoring order here than
I had in two weeks.”

“Two weeks during which I did all in my power to hamper your
efforts, my lord.”

It took a moment for her meaning to sink in. “The servants
conspired with you to make it appear affairs were even worse than they are?” he
asked.

Her smile faded into distress and worry. “You’ll not hold it
against any of them. All knew of my treatment at the hands of Sir Benwyck and
had no reason to believe you would be different.”

“Nay,” he said, after he conquered his irritation. “I cannot
fault them for their loyalty. Does this signify that affairs are not as bad as
they appear?”

She sighed. “Not, mayhap, as bad as has been portrayed to
you, yet not altogether good either. There’s much to do yet to restore this
keep to order.”

He touched her cheek, gently running a finger down the soft
flesh. “Together, my lady, we’ll set it right.”

She went stiff for a moment, then relaxed when she realized
he would go no further. She stared into his eyes for a moment, as though trying
to read his intentions. “Aye, my lord, we shall.” She reached up and clasped
his hand, holding it against her cheek for a moment, her fingers stroking
gently across the back of his hand. It took all the power of his will to
restrain himself from dragging her closer. He hadn’t realized what a hard job
he’d set himself when he vowed to seduce her with care and restraint.

He nodded and dropped his hand when she removed hers. They
continued on their rounds but Philip found it difficult keeping his mind on
learning about the affairs of his keep when it was the lady of the place he
wanted to explore. He dutifully followed her and listened.

When they returned to the room he’d marked out for his
office, they spent some time discussing what needed to be done. He repeated
what Sir Thomas, Sir Peter, and Derwyn had told him earlier.

“Aye, it’s so. Much needs repair,” she agreed. “Our master
sawyer was killed in the fighting when Sir William took the keep. The sawyer’s
two apprentices are still a year or two from coming of an age to do the work
alone themselves.”

“Can we find someone else hereabouts to take this on?”

“We might send Florian Cooper to Detlington to train with
their sawyer. He’s quick and strong. I believe he could learn the trade quickly
enough.”

Philip nodded. “Will you arrange it?”

“Aye,” she agreed.

“Will you have someone find another table and chair to bring
in here? I believe we shall need two desks.”

She nodded again.

“One thing more. Can the estate afford to mount a feast in
the next few days? I would celebrate a new beginning for all of us.”

She thought for a moment. “The harvest is all but in. I
believe it would be possible, my lord. How many guests should we expect?”

“How many people have we working the manor and the lands
close by?”

She frowned. “Perhaps 300, my lord. I can provide enough
servants. But I’ll need to know how many guest quarters to prepare.”

“I suppose some from the outlying areas will need to spend
the night. I know not how many of them there might be.”

“Perhaps fifty. We can accommodate them. But your friends
and guests, my lord? How many of them might we expect?”

Philip finally understood her confusion. “None for this, my
lady. This feast is for those people who are now my vassals. I would have
everyone understand that I’m lord here now, and we begin anew to rebuild this
estate and make it among the greatest and most productive in all of England. I
want them to understand that I care for this place for more than just what it
can give me, and that I’ll try to be both a fair and just lord. They know already
I can be harsh when it’s required. I would have them know I can be generous as
well.”

Pleasure and gratitude chased the surprise from her face as
she understood. “My lord, that is a wonderful idea,” she said.

“You’ll see to the arrangements?” he asked. “I would be as
generous with the food as we might. The ale as well. We must have music and
dancing, and whatever else is appropriate.”

“It will be done, my lord,” she said. The excitement on her
face was almost reward enough for any effort he might make for the feast.

“You’re pleased with this?” he asked.

“Aye, my lord,” she said. “It’s a wise course.”

“For many reasons.” Philip moved closer to her. He was
surprised and gratified when she didn’t flinch back from him. “To see such joy
on your face, for instance.” He reached a hand toward her and waited until she
took it. “Lady Mary, I’m going to kiss you.”

He paused a second, allowing her time to protest or resist.
When she did neither, he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers.
She jumped in startlement at the contact, then settled down and waited. Her
lips were sweet and soft. His cock leapt to attention as his heart raced, even
though she remained still and unreacting.

He let his mouth slide carefully along hers, tasting fully
the honey of her lips. For a moment she was still as he caressed, but then she
quivered gently and her lips moved a bit under his. He ran his tongue along
them, first outlining, then moving inward to the damper, smoother region near
the gums. He drank in the small sigh she let out as her body softened and
relaxed out of the tense fear. He knew then he would win her over and it
wouldn’t take all that long if he remained careful and controlled until he made
her forget the expectation of abuse.

Her lips softened and parted. She put her arms around him,
resting her hands on his back, pulling their bodies closer together. He probed
gently into her mouth, brushing her teeth with his tongue. Her breath came
faster and he felt her chest rise and fall with the quicker rhythm. He put his
hands on her face, running his fingers under the wimple and into her hair. Her
skin felt like satin.

For long minutes he explored the hot recesses of her mouth.
When she moved her tongue to meet his, they danced together, stroking each
other, receding, then advancing to dip and touch. She made a sound like a sob
deep in her throat.