BirthControl (21 page)

Silas!
The scream rang inside his head. Bolting from his chair in the living room, he raced to the bedroom. Anxious, he searched the room before realizing Jasmine lay still beneath the covers.

“Jasmine?” he called out softly as he moved closer to her.

“Don’t,” she said in a panic-laden tone. “Leave my babies alone.”

Dumbstruck, he froze. Jasmine was fast asleep. Still, he had heard her words… at least he thought he had. Scratching his jaw, he continued to stare down at her on the bed. She turned to the other side, pulling the cover tight beneath her chin.

Needing to offer comfort, he slowly crawled up the bed and lay on top of the covers next to her. The more he thought about what'd happened, the more skeptical he became. There was no way Jasmine could’ve spoken to him mentally. First off, she was human, although lately, that factor didn’t deter improbable events from occurring. It had to be his pups. If she spoke to his mind, and now he doubted she had, it had to be because she carried his litter.
Silas…stop them! They want…
she screamed, although her lips never moved.

“What?” he asked before realizing her eyes were still closed. Sweat beaded his brow as the impossible happened again. He searched for the mental connection she’d initiated. Minutes passed and there was nothing. Just as he started to pull out, he heard her again.
No.
He heard the definitive denial in her voice and wondered if she were talking to one of the human breeders. Deepening his focus, he heard a buzz of conversation.

“Silas?”

Hearing his name shocked him to the point he almost dropped the connection. “Yes.”

“Good. I’ve been looking for you,” Jasmine said, as if having a conversation with him while she slept was the most common thing in the world.

Clearing his throat, he tried to relax and said, “I’m here.”

“They want my babies.”

He stiffened. “No.”

She sighed, it was a strange whistling sound since she was still asleep. “Of course not. But they believe the babies are the key.”

That surprised him. “Key to what?”

“Something about realignments. I think they’re getting angry that I’m not agreeing to their plan. They may go after you or the twins.”

“Don’t worry about that.” He tried to sound soothing, but was unsure how it translated in this bizarre situation.

“Don’t let them hurt my sons. Promise me.”

“I promise to do my best to keep all your children safe.”

“Okay. I promise not to give them the babies…but I might…”

He had the feeling she was trying to say something. He took her hands to encourage her to continue. They were cold. Beneath the covers she shivered.

Alarmed, he pulled off his shirt and slid beside her to warm her with the heat from his body. Cocooning her close to him, he rocked her gently, whispering soft words in her ear. “Stay with me, Jasmine. Come on, you’re a fighter. The boys need you.”

Suddenly, her body shook so hard he tightened his grip. The chattering of her teeth increased.

Silas reached for their mental connection. Immediately he was thrust through a pulsating field of static. His breath caught at the metallic smell and taste in the air.
Jasmine?
His voice echoed and then vanished.
What the
? “Jasmine?” He delved deeper and that’s when he heard it. The sound of someone crying. As much as he hated emotional displays, the fact that he was privy to someone’s feelings through this type of connection, surprised him. Curious at the mechanics of what he’d done, he lost focus on finding Jasmine. The moment he concentrated on the idea of how he heard the crying, the sound grew distant. His chest constricted as the sound faded. Afraid he’d lose Jasmine in all the static, he re-centered his energy on reaching her through their link.
Jas?

The sound of weeping magnified. He pushed forward, trying to reach the woman whose agony pulled him. Tendrils of her sorrow wrapped around his chest, syncing with his heartbeat. Red bands of color boxed him in. The anguish of her loneliness stabbed him and merged with his mind. His throat tightened as dark clouds of desperation hovered above a female sitting in a fetal position. Her misery became a pungent taste on the back of his tongue. Inhaling to clear his mind, he froze.

“Jasmine?” he whispered brokenly
. Impossible
. Jasmine was one of the strongest women he knew. But her scent was unmistakable. The woman weeping was his Jasmine. Unable to break through the red bands, he called out. “Please, just talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. We can fix whatever’s wrong.”

He didn’t know what those women had done to her, but they’d pay, he swore silently.

“They didn’t do anything but remind me of a few truths,” she whispered, surprising him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked again, feeling uncomfortable. She’d heard his thoughts but blocked hers. Another thing she shouldn’t be able to do.

The colors surrounding her darkened. “Nothing.”

He reined in his impatience. “You’re crying and having all these…these feelings. Something’s wrong. Start with the few truths they reminded you of.”

For a few moments, all he heard was static and then it cleared. “Men don’t cherish. They use women. At least the men in my life.”

“You’ve only been with two men. You think I’m using you?”

“Aren’t you? The children are
your
legacy. You only think of them as a gift from the Goddess for your service. What about me? When do I get rewarded for being a good, faithful, wife? Or a good mother? When do I experience being cherished or loved, instead of treated as some shameful secret because I was born to carry wolves?”

Born to carry wolves
? He thought over all she said and admitted she was right. Both he and her husband kept her hidden away, albeit for different reasons. Not once had he taken into consideration how she felt. The red bands pulsed, reminding him of her isolation, except this time he felt her pain. His breath caught as he gasped to breathe. The sterility of her loneliness leached into his bones. In all his existence he’d never experienced such bleakness. How did she function beneath its weight?

“You’re right.” What else could he say? Being inside her mind, feeling what she went through, there was nothing else he could say. “I didn’t think past the problems being with you would cause me as Patron. I never thought about your emotional needs, I wanted to believe having the children was enough.” He cringed at how selfish he sounded. But, he didn’t know how to make it right.

“You don’t have to make this right. I’m responsible for my happiness and the decisions I make.” The dark colors hovering above her pulsed as though they had a heartbeat.

He released a breath. “I don’t comprehend half of what’s going on. I won’t pretend I do. You are constantly surprising me. I don’t fully understand what I’m supposed to do with you either. I mean, do I claim you as mine? Would that be forever? Or are you a gift from the Goddess sent here to do a specific work that won’t allow me in your life. You’re having my pups and I don’t know how you truly feel about that.” He paused. “I’m more animal than man, you speak of love. Maybe there’s a breakdown between how we think, because keeping you safe is cherishing you in my book.”

Drained, he was ready to break the link, but realized he needed to finish this, otherwise it’d be a lose thread hanging over them. “I don’t know how to do things halfway. For me, my wolf chooses, and it mates for life. There’s more between us than you carrying my pups and you know it.” He rubbed her back in a circular pattern and took a deep breath. “Don’t give up on me. I want to ease your loneliness and bring sunshine into your life. We just need time to explore this chemistry we have.”

The red bars shimmered and lightened to a pinkish color. The air around her lightened as the scent of gardenias teased his nostrils. “Come back to me, Jas. I want to see your eyes. Let the women go, and come back to me,” he murmured, his lips hovering above hers.

He sensed her relaxing in his arms and blessed the Goddess. She’d scared him. His forehead rested on hers. “Open your eyes,” he whispered, surprised by the lingering soreness in his throat and the smell of gardenias.

A few moments later Jasmine opened her eyes. She blinked and frowned at him.

“You’re squeezing me.”

Chuckling, he tapped the end of her nose, then rolled over to give her room, but didn’t go far. He had too many questions. “How you feeling?”

“Rested. Why?” She looked around the room and then back at him. “You slept in here?”

“No. I’ve been working in the living room.”

Her doubtful look made him smile. “Seriously. I’ve been here the whole time. Tyrone’s working in Jacque’s office. Tyrese is on his way back from the hospital.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Stop frowning.”

She leaned back and stared in his eyes.
I can’t believe he stayed.

“I stayed.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t say anything.”
I know.
He spoke to her mind.

A measured smile spread over her face. “When did this happen? Is this why you’re here?” she asked with a doubtful look.

“It happened while you were asleep. I was in the living room working, you called me. I think you were arguing with the voices.”

She nodded slowly. “That’s right.”

He waited for her to tell him what'd happened. That’s when he realized he couldn’t read or hear her anymore. She’d shut him out.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” She pushed him up and swung her legs over the bed. He moved to help, but she pushed him aside.

Jasmine closed the door and leaned against it. Bizarre colors and sounds flooded her mind, hampering her ability to breathe. Knees buckling, she slid to the floor. “What’s happening to me?” she murmured, and then clapped her hand over her mouth. Silas had excellent hearing.
And now he hears things inside my head
. She placed her clenched fists against her eyes.

Behind her lids a picture formed, fuzzy at first, then it sharpened until she recognized a distorted view of herself curled in a ball, crying. A sense of hopelessness and loneliness clung to her.

Wow
.

She stared at the image a moment longer, then tried to push it aside. Each time she pushed, the closer the sour stench of her emotions drifted to her. Removing her fists from her eyes, she tried to push up from the floor to break the visual connection, but the pang of hopelessness and loneliness remained.

Fighting to slow down her breathing, she remained motionless. She held her head down and counted to ten.

“Jasmine?”

“Not now, Silas. I need to be alone. I have to deal with this…this wolfie thing that’s messing with me.”

Warmth, the kind you experienced on a sunny day, flowed through her mind, taking the edge off her panic. Vertebrae by vertebrae she relaxed and tipped her head from side to side.

“You don’t go through this alone. I’m here.” As he spoke, the heaviness lightened, allowing her fast shallow breaths to return to normal.

She pulled her legs up and clasped her arm around them. Her head dropped against the wall as the tightening around her chest lessened. A few deep cleansing breaths removed the remaining heaviness.

“Can I come in?”

“No. Not right now.” Her face heated over what'd just happened. She’d never pegged herself as a needy person. Coming face to face with her innermost needs terrified her.

“Scared?”

Yes
. “Not really. Just need some time to process what’s happening. We tried the mental thing before and nothing happened. Why now? Is it because of those women?”

“I don’t know. And you have no idea how much I hate saying that. All of this is still a mystery to me.”

She swallowed hard, unsure how to explain what was a mystery to her as well. “I’m not comfortable with you seeing me like that. I’m not a whiny person.”

“I know,” he said softly. “I know. But remember, you control what I see and hear.”

Her head snapped up. “I do?”

“Yes. You shut me out when you left to go to the bathroom. I got nothing until a minute ago. Even then, it was only a strong feeling of despair. No words. Just your feelings.”

When she’d left the room, she’d been embarrassed and didn’t want him to know. Could it be as simple as that? She made a deliberate decision to shut him out of her thoughts and waited.

“You shut me out?”

“Just testing some things.” Her mood lightened with the knowledge of her control. She wanted to touch him, kiss him, run her hands through his hair. In her mind she saw herself draped over him, doing all of those things.

“Jasmine,” he growled. The next moment, images of him taking what she gave and returning it full force slammed into her. Moisture pooled between her legs, her nipples tightened as her body caught fire. Gasping, she slammed down their link.

He laughed. “Tease.”

Since he was right, she didn’t comment. Instead, she stood and opened the door. They stared at each other for a moment. “Something’s happening and it scares me. It’s more than you in my head,” she said quickly, cutting him off. Closing her eyes, she tried to remember. “Those women… they really, really believe in what they’re doing. They think there’s only one way this…this whole thing can end. They believe breeds rule. One of my babies will rule the wolves.”