Bitter Angel (17 page)

I nod weakly. My eyes are round weary pits in my skull. My hands drop to my legs, and I begin scratching. “Are you saying you don’t believe us?”
Please don’t say it. Please don’t.

“Of course I’m not saying that,” he answers with slightly more professionalism. “But this is going to be a tricky situation. You say you have the location of where this might take place?”

I don’t miss the
might
in his sentence, but I’m not giving up. “Yes. It’s an apartment building on Harrison Road. I don’t know the intersecting street, but I know it’s at least ten floors up. Obviously, I was too busy trying to escape to get a room number or anything.” Anxiety works its way into my voice.

Detective Howard writes in a frenzy. “Well miss, I can tell you right now, we will do what we can, but these things take time. Search warrants. We need to question the men.”

I’m confused. “Can’t you find them and follow them?”

He sighs. “We can run background checks on the names, approach them in their homes, and question them, but without further proof, that’s it. I could add that area to one of my surveillance car’s rounds tonight, but I can’t guarantee anything. If we don’t spot illegal activity, we can’t bring these men in.”

“But can’t you, like, stake them out?”

He shakes his head with a small patronizing smile on his face. “Ms. Spencer, this isn’t prime time TV. We don’t do a stakeout until we know we’ve got a legit lead of illegal activity. It’s not in our budget.”

Prime time TV? Budget?

I know I freaked earlier and was really wired in the waiting room, but I’m back on my game. My passion is running full throttle. “And we’re not legit enough for you? You can’t just sit around here while these assholes are running around the city unrestricted. Do something!
It’s your job!
”

He shakes his head sadly, patronizing smile gone. “I’m not trying to belittle what you’ve been through, and I’m very sorry, but we can’t just arrest a senator’s son. We’ll file the report you’ve given us today. We do need you to be examined by a doctor, and we’ll do everything we can on our end. I’ll check with my superiors, but we’re overloaded as it is. I gotta be honest. There have been no other situations reported lately that resemble yours. If these men have been—”

I jump to my feet. “This just happened to me last night! I
escaped, and my friend almost died! They’re going to do it again tonight. Please. Tell me there’s something you can do!”
Oh my God, I’ve lost it.

Jay is next to me, trying to restrain my flailing arms. “Lila. Quit.”

Detective Howard is perusing his notes. “This was last night? Why did you say it was last Friday?”

Oh shit.
I just messed up our entire testimony. “I…that’s what I said.”
Lame.

He leans forward, rubbing a finger alongside his pen. “Look Ms. Spencer, you’ve been through a trauma, but I need all the details to the best of your knowledge. If any of these men you’re accusing are not the perpetrators, this can still mean big consequences for them. As I said earlier, I want you to think hard about this.” He pauses, deliberates. “What is your friend’s name? If she’s been assaulted, the hospital would’ve already sent officers out to get her statement. If there’s a recorded assault, we could get physical evidence, which would help your case.”

The detective is trying to help us. He’s back on our side, and I’ve got nothing to give him.
Goddamn it, I knew this would happen! I knew it.

“Oh man, oh man, oh man,” I say aloud, my hands in my hair. I’d pace if I had the space for it. As it is, I have about a foot of perimeter around me. All I can do is shuffle awkwardly. “You don’t understand. Someone is going to get hurt tonight if you don’t help us.” I’m rambling again.

Getting the police involved was the plan—our
only
plan. Now what? What if they really don’t do anything?

I’m suddenly feeling our one shot flying away from us, shattering glass as it goes through an invisible window called Nice Try and sails into the land of You’re Sunk.

Trigger clears his throat. “There’s no recorded assault.”

Jay subdues me, clenching his arms around mine. I don’t like it. It’s too similar to being tied up. Still, I let him. I trust him.

“Isn’t there anything you can do?” Jay asks, desperate.

Detective Howard is eyeing us all. “Okay, folks.” He stands. “I’ll be right back.” Then he walks out with his notepad.

Uh-oh.
“Guys, this isn’t good. We’re gonna get arrested. I can feel it. We have to get outta here.” I’m only half-aware that I sound insane.

“Lila, you need to sit,” Jay says.

Trigger is staring me down accusingly. “You had to go and mess it up, didn’t you? You had to freak out right in front of him.”

I hear him, but I don’t listen. There is a difference. Jay and I used to fight about it all the time in high school. I maneuver around the table, bringing Jay with me.

“We gotta get out of here. Let’s just go. He doesn’t believe us. He’s not going to help us.”

Trigger looks murderous, but he doesn’t try to stop me as I open the door. The hall that led us here is empty. We trail out, single file, and a nasty feeling is creeping up my spine, like I’m escaping from prison or something. Even though I’m technically doing nothing wrong, I’m in a crazy hurry to get out of here. Who knows who or what that detective will bring back with him? Our story got so messed up that I
wouldn’t believe us. I’m sure he
no longer does.

When we come out to where the main room opens up with all the desks and the glass room where we waited, I see Detective Howard deep in discussion with four other officers. There’s no way we can sneak out unseen.
What on earth do we say?

Jay gets in front of me. “Detective?”

Detective Howard looks up. When he sees the three of us standing there, he and the group of other officers move toward us. He folds his arms over his burly cop chest. I can see he’s not happy that we left the room.

“I’d like to get some more information before you leave. If what you’re saying is true, then we need to investigate this further.”

“Yes, well,” Jay says. “We need to get going. Lila hasn’t eaten all day, and her blood sugar tends to go out of whack. Maybe we can come back after she’s eaten. Could we get your contact information, just in case?”

That’s brief and to the point. Detective Howard hesitates, and I start to feel sweaty all over again. When you really think about it though, we’ve done nothing wrong. They can’t hold us here.
Right?

Detective Howard is rubbing his chin and gazing at me in a new light, like maybe I’m not crazy. Just hungry? Maybe? “Of course.” He whips a business card out of his wallet. “Contact me anytime today or otherwise at the bottom number. I assure you that we will look into this situation today. We’ll do what we can.” He says to Jay, “And get this girl to a hospital. She needs to be seen, and we need all the extra evidence we can get. That’s more critical than coming back here. We only want to help you.”

I’m so relieved that we’re not being arrested. I chime in. “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

Jay pockets the card and guides me out with Trigger at our heels. No one says a word until we’re back in the car. Jay asks me where we should go for food. I can’t concentrate, and Trigger is seething.

While I’m sweetly relieved that none of us are getting arrested, I’m heartbroken that no one else is either. I should’ve known something like this would take time.

“We should’ve stayed,” Trigger fumes.

I argue back, “We have nothing else to give him.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he snaps. “We were safe there. I was safe there. He believed me, and now…”

I don’t even try to choke back the tears gathering in my eyes, clogging my sinuses. “I’m sorry, guys. I let you down. I let everyone down.”

Wow, I really need to eat. Or I need an adrenaline reboot. Or maybe some sleep because I haven’t really had any of that either.
Or did I?
This is too confusing.

Jay starts driving. Five minutes later, we arrive at the nearest McDonald’s.
Gross.

He sees my grimace. “It was either this or KFC across the street, and I know how much you hate that place.”

I’ve never been a Mickey D’s fan, but I hate KFC. I’m not too keen on chicken in general right now for obvious reasons. He orders from the drive-thru and parks.

Jay chows down his meal. Trigger decides he’s not hungry, and I pick through a squished cheeseburger. Despite the fact that I’m starving, I’m still crying—silently, so no one can hear me even though they can see me. It’s hard to eat when my throat has a giant lump in it.

I can’t believe I did that. I messed it up.
Me
. Even if I hadn’t, it didn’t seem like there was much the detective or the police could’ve done today. I think that’s what was really at the heart of my panic attack before we were interviewed.

I feel so lost now. I have no idea what we’re going to do. It’s like the entire universe is against me, mocking me for even thinking everyone would believe me. For thinking I could do something about this.

After I choke down a few bites, I turn in my seat and look at Trigger. “What now?”

He unleashes on me. “What do you mean? I go with them! I have no other choice!”

Jay dishes it back. “
Do not
speak to her that way. I assure you that I will break your jaw.”

“Whatever.” Trigger sags, his face a big wrinkle of anger, hurt, and fear. “You two can still ride off into the sunset. You don’t have to be involved in this. They don’t have your future in a chokehold. They didn’t…” He stops himself. I think he was about to divulge the terrifying details of what they said they’d do to him. “Never mind.”

“I’m
not
leaving,” I growl with a mouth full of cheeseburger while tears stream down my face. I must look like a real prize right now. “You’re forgetting I was
there last night. I know what they’re capable of, and I’m not subjecting anyone else to them.”

I admit, despite how my panic attack in the lobby of police headquarters might have looked, quitting has never been an option. I’m so not this person, this girl who loses. I’m the girl who wins her battles. We’ve done something, and now we are being left to our own devices to do something…else.

We just have to figure out what the
else
is.

It takes me a full twenty minutes to finish eating, and I only got down about half of my cheeseburger, two point seven-five fries, and a little water. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a meal this slow. By the time I’m done, though, I’ve managed to somewhat loosen the lump in my throat.

After I ball up the wrappers and throw them in the brown paper bag, I wipe my face with a clean napkin. Trigger has been silent the entire time. Jay has been saying soft things in my ear while rubbing my back in big circles.

He did this after my dog, Yentyl, died, and our fish, Mr. Thompson—I named him that because he was always bonking his nose on the aquarium wall, just like our neighbor, Mr. Thompson, nosily watching out his window—and Lucky, my pet rabbit that I’d had since eighth grade. He did it each time after my parents had their not-so-occasional knock-down screaming matches they were famous for.

When it comes to my tears, Jay’s a veteran. I let myself cry the whole time, too, and no one tries to stop me. I think I just needed it, whether from lack of sleep or from the trauma.

Detective Howard’s words ring in my head. I keep forgetting that I suffered a
trauma
last night. Whether it can be seen that way or not, that’s what it is to me, and I haven’t let myself deal with it in any way. I still don’t. There’s no time, really, not the kind of time I need.

Since I’m done eating, Jay pulls me close for a minute. He feels so warm and safe, just like he did last night. I could stay here forever—literally, forever—but I know that I can’t.

“So…” My voice sounds thick and crusty. “What’s plan B?” The boys are silent. “Anyone?”

No one wants to answer me.

Jay finally says, “I think we should go back to the dorm and wait for the police to contact us.”

I don’t know if he means my dorm or Trigger’s. It doesn’t matter. They both mean the same thing. He wants to quit. “Are you kidding me? No.”

“What else do you expect, Lil? The police said—”

“I know what they said.” I sigh, trying to inhale through my nose and failing. “Trigger…I mean, Franklin or Frank or whatever you go by, what time are you supposed to meet up with them?”