Bittersweet (37 page)

Ruth started laughing. “You’ll never believe what I’ve done so I don’t have to worry about windy days.”

“What?” Laney couldn’t help asking.

“Look at the inside of the hem.”

Laney upended the dress and searched through the yards of fabric. “Buttons? They can’t be heavy enough to make a difference.”

“Look at this.” Ruth gathered her skirts until the hem slid up over her petticoats and hoops. She flipped up the hem to show little cloth packets every foot or so.

“What’s in them?” Amanda asked.

Ruth unbuttoned one and handed it to Ivy.

“Buckshot!” Ivy hooted. “If ’n I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I’d swar you were pullin’ my leg. Oops. Weren’t s’posed to use that word. But ain’t this jist the beatenist thang?”

“Don’t any of you ever tell a soul about this.” Ruth sighed.

“I’m afraid Josh already has enough on his hands without half of Folsom knowing his wife is daft.”

“You’d be lucky ’twas only half.” Ivy made a jerky shrug.

“Thar ain’t nobody for miles round who don’t know what a mess I am.”

“My dearly departed papa had a word of wisdom about such people,” Amanda put in, resting her hand on Ivy’s arm. “The very people you most want to impress are the least likely to be your friends. Those who matter care the least about things and most about your heart and soul.”

“I reckon yore pa must’ve been a far sight nicer’n mine.” Ivy sounded wistful as she added, “Too bad he ain’t here to set a few people straight.”

“Oh, but my heavenly Father can.” Amanda scanned the room.

“Ivy’s going to need hoops, Ruth.”

I didn’t realize Ivy worried about what other people thought. I’ve spent so
much of my own life feeling that way. I was so sure we were different, but
we’re not
. Laney’s chest felt so tight she could scarcely breathe.
I
should befriend Ivy. She’s a neighbor and she’s Galen’s wife. I should show
God’s love to her
.

A short time later, Ivy stood in the middle of the room and stared at her reflection in the cheval glass. “Ain’t I a sight?”

“Here,” Laney said as she fluffed Ivy’s sleeves into perfect order. As much as it hurt to release her dreams for a future with Galen, she had to. If by helping Ivy she could make his future d7e38393289etter, it was the right thing to do. Laney stepped back as her gaze swept over the girl. Ivy bit her lip in uncertainty, and Laney again felt a pang as she realized Ivy desperately needed reassurance. “You look marvelous. The pink goes beautifully with your coloring.”

Amanda added, “The style is very flattering.”

Ivy patted her rough red hands across the front of the hoops.

“I reckon thar’s ’nuff room ’neath all this to handle when my belly gets all swoll up.”

A wounded sound tore through Laney before she could stop it. She pressed her hand to her mouth.
Lord, I’m trying so hard, but
it hurts so bad
.

“I done it again, didn’t I? Opened my big trap an’ said sommat wrong.”

Ruth took hold of Ivy’s hands. “When you and I are alone, we can speak about that. Amanda and Laney aren’t married. It’s considered improper for a woman to say much about being in the family way.”

“I didn’t know you were in a delicate condition,” Amanda said softly.

“Well, you do now. Cain’t see as why ’tisn’t okay to talk ’bout me expectin’ a babe. I got hitched in the church, and my brother was totin’ a shotgun to make shore it happened.” Ivy shook her hands free from Ruth and gestured wildly. “Ever’body’s gossipin’ ’bout it. Seems to me like a load of nonsense. Afore Christmas, all them church folk talk ’bout baby Jesus. Since then, I reckon all they’ve jabbered ’bout is the babe I’m a-carryin’.”

Can you blame them?
Laney thought.
There’s no denying what you
did was wrong. And how can you expect people not to talk when you interrupt
the Christmas service with a shotgun wedding?

“The only thing to do is look ahead,” Ruth said. “We cannot change the past.”

“That’s so true,” Amanda agreed. “Clinging to the way things used to be or how we thought they should have turned out is such a temptation. It’s hard enough to let go and face our own futures.”

“That’s dreadful nice of you. Wisht them other folk was of the same mind. Beats me how churchified folk claim to love ever’body, but then they turn ’round and give the O’Sullivans a hard time.”

It’s been even harder on Galen
.

Ivy looked at her reflection again. “I’ll wear this here dress you done give me, and I’ll go to Sunday meetin’; but I’d rather et that horrible-awful food at the diner than get cozy with them vipers what’re warmin’ the church benches.”

Vipers
. The word stopped Laney cold. It was ugly … but honest.
I’m one of them. I’ve let the poison of bitterness and anger slither through
the depths of my soul
. Tears blurred her vision. “I’m sorry.”

“Aw, now.” Ivy wrinkled her nose. “You gals’re different. You and Ruth here was my friends back when I first come. Yore standin’ strong on the side of the O’Sullivans—still come a-callin’ and even brung a weddin’ gift.” Ivy twisted to the side. “’Manda, if ’n it bothers you I got a babe in me afore I got hitched, I reckon I’d ’preciate hearin’ so now.”

In that instant, Laney felt a bolt shoot through her. She wanted to shield Ivy from any further hurt.

“Being with a man before you were married wasn’t right.”

Amanda’s words came out slowly.

Laney stepped closer and reached for Ivy’s hand.

“Just because that’s a sin I haven’t committed doesn’t mean I haven’t done many things wrong myself.” Amanda slid her hand atop Laney and Ivy’s. “I’d be wrong to judge and condemn you, because I want God to forgive me and forget my transgressions.”

“Don’t know what them trans-thangs are, but I won’t thank bad of you, neither.”

While Ruth helped Amanda try on a dress, Ivy tugged Laney off to the side. “I gotta ask you sommat. Will you learn me?”

“What do you want to learn?”

“I wanna read.”

The longing in Ivy’s eyes tore down the last stone of resentment in the wall of Laney’s heart. She’d humbled herself the same way, wanting the same exact thing from Ruth.
Amanda’s right. Ivy
sinned with a man and has told a horrible lie, but I’ve been guilty of other
sins. It’s God’s place to forgive or seek vengeance, not mine
.

“I wanna read and pick up some of them fancy manners.” Ivy’s jaw lifted. “But don’t you worry none. If ’n you don’t wanna—” Laney wrapped her arms around Ivy. “Of course I’ll teach you!”

Ivy started laughing. “I thank you’d best git on with learnin’ me how to deal with this dress. Both of ourn ’re pitchin’ up in the back. Bet we look like two tom turkeys!”

“Oh no!” Laney turned loose, wheeled around and theatrically pushed Ivy behind herself.

“What’s a-wrong?”

“If we look like turkeys, we’re in trouble! Don’t you remember? Ruth has buckshot!”

Later that afternoon, Ma came over and stood on tiptoe next to Galen, looking into the sty. “The new sow’s settling in well, is she?”

“Yeah.” Laney had shown up without warning yesterday, leading the sow by a rope. Dale was thrilled, and Galen couldn’t ruin their fun. Having an additional breeder would boost earnings considerably, too. “If things took, she’ll farrow the first week in June.”

“I’ve been wantin’ a moment alone with you, Galen-mine.”

“Yeah?” He turned and hitched the heel of his boot on the lowest fence rung.

Ma wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against him. “You’re hurting, son. I’m ashamed to say I’m part of the reason why. You’re a man after God’s own heart, yet I questioned your integrity.”

Galen held her loosely and said nothing.

“Had you lain with Ivy and fathered the child, you’d have decided to make the best of the situation and swallowed your pride. You’ve not done so. A man and his wife don’t sleep separately, yet you’ve done just that. Resentment and impatience roll off you, and you’ve forced the twins to stay apart unless you’re present. It all adds up. You’ve been wronged. Aye, you have, and I … son, I made it worse.”

Ma looked up at him. Her face was a mask of pain. “You’ve been trying so hard to comfort us all. Grief makes us strangers to ourselves or it causes us to seek solace. If you think on it, you’ll realize our Colin was born nine months after your da and I lost Ian and Thomas.” Tears filled her eyes and slipped down her careworn cheeks.

“’Twas no sin, you and Da finding respite together.”

Ma barely took a breath. “You’re in the right there, but ’twas faulty of me to believe you might have taken license and lain with the lass. Deep in my heart, I know you couldn’t have, and I’m askin’ your forgiveness for ever imagining otherwise.”

Galen looked off in the distance. It cut him to the core, how Ma had doubted him. Laney alone believed in his innocence. An entire lifetime of integrity had crumbled due to Ivy’s falsehood.

But holding a grudge against Ma—he couldn’t. He loved her too much. Her face reflected true remorse. Galen heaved a sigh and tightened his hold. “I forgive you, Ma.”

“We’ll have to have faith that God will redeem all of this.”

“I can’t see how.” He turned loose of her. “I’ve lost the woman I love, friends have forsaken me, Da is gone, and money’s never been tighter. Whatever the Lord wants to come out of this, I can’t say.”

“Ishmael and Ivy are going to church. Surely that’s a glimmer 292 of good in the midst of it all.”

“The dirt under my nails proclaims me to be a farmer.” Looking at his hands, then the land about them, Galen added, “I know full well even though the ground is prepared and the seed is sown, it doesn’t always sprout.”

“The babe, Galen—he’ll grow up in a godly home. Even if Ivy and Ishmael never turn their hearts to the Lord, we’ll surround the child with God’s love and Word and trust that it will not return void.”

He nodded.

“Something happened at the McCains’ today.”

Anger streaked through him. “Now what did Ivy do?”

“I’m not sure exactly who did what. A young woman’s living with them now—Miss Amanda Bradley. She came from South Carolina in response to the inquiry Josh made for a companion for Laney.”

Galen started. “What?”

“Josh wrote the letter two years ago. Laney doesn’t need a companion, but Ruth has hired Miss Bradley to be the new librarian. Hilda tells me Miss Bradley’s not said much, but she’s gathered the lass has a cousin who’s cheated her out of her birthright.

Anyway, while Ruth was giving away some of the dresses she never wears …”

Galen said nothing. He had a sinking feeling Ivy said or did something that caused a ruckus, though.

“They all came back downstairs in a different gown. Galenmine, they’d styled Ivy’s hair and had her in a fine frock. She looked grand.”

Rubbing his forehead, he groaned. “Ma, I’m like any other man—I appreciate a beautiful woman, but her heart matters most to me. Stuffing Ivy into a different dress doesn’t make her any less of a liar.”

“Aye, you’ve the right of it there. But that wasn’t what startled me most. ’Twas the change in Laney. She’s been careful to be proper and polite to Ivy—even though ’twas clear her heart was aching something fierce.”

“It’s far more than she ought to have done. My dear Laney’s heart is broken. It tears at me.”

Ma patted her hand over his heart. “But ’tis why I’m telling you this. What prompted the change, I don’t know. But when they came back downstairs, Laney was a different woman—not a lass, Galen-mine. A woman. She’s promised to teach Ivy to read. Aye, she has. And though I know full well Laney loved you, I believe in my heart she knows ’tis time she set aside the dreams of her girlhood. Life must go on, and the dear is coming to terms with it.

I’m hoping that with her coming to that decision, it lifts the burden of her sadness from your shoulders.”

“I could never stop loving Laney,” he rasped. “And I can’t bear the thought that she’ll ever stop loving me.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

I
apologize.” Robert Price came to a quick halt as soon as he’d barreled into the diner. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”