Bittersweet Ecstasy (38 page)

“How can I, Tashina? I am trapped by my duty and orders, but I feel as you do. I do not love or desire your father,” she revealed.

Bright Arrow and his band returned shortly after the rest period and called for the council to be summoned for their report. When he learned of his guests, he hurried to his tepee, to find only Singing Wind there preparing wild vegetables for the stew for their evening meal.

“It is good to see you, Singing Wind,” he murmured joyfully. “I am glad you came. We have much to decide. I am honored you accepted my joining claim, but I do not know why it took me so long to ask for you. There is no other female in our lands who stirs my heart and body as you do. I promise I will make you a good husband and lover. At last, I can be happy and whole again. Where are the others?”

Singing Wind was touched, and distressed, by his words and mood. She wished he did not want her. She wished he would release her from his claim so she could go to his brother. How could she make him a good wife when she was the mate of another in her heart, and in her body? Why had he not come to her before Sun Cloud had revealed his desire, before she had learned what it was to have his brother, and hopefully his brother’s love? Bright Arrow was good and kind and
virile and handsome; but he was not Sun Cloud. Yet, how could she hurt this man or refuse her duty? Agony without end, for she could not.

“Tashina is preparing the meal for Pretty Red Fox; she had her child when the sun was overhead. Tashina helped him into the world while they were gathering wood, and they named him Comes Quickly. My brother rides to scout and hunt, and will return soon. Sun Cloud also hunts for those in need.” Fearing to hesitate on that soul-stirring name, she hurriedly went on, “Your grandsons have returned to their mother in her new tepee. Little Feet is very happy with her new mate. You know they were joined after the sun returned?” she hinted.

Bright Arrow unthinkingly revealed, “It is good they have joined, for they have been much in love for many winters. It was not good they were separated through their own foolishness. New lovers need time alone; I will visit them later. The call has gone out for council.”

“Your arm is hurt,” she remarked, noticing the soiled cloth on it. “I must tend it and change your binding.”

Bright Arrow allowed her to mix a potion, to remove the dressing, clean the injury, and treat it. He enjoyed her gentle touch and nearness, her fresh smell, soft skin, and abundant appeal. She was the most beautiful Indian maiden he had seen. It had been a year since he had touched a female, and his body was responding rapidly to her. He wished she was Rebecca Kenny, but that life and love were gone forever. He had to reach out to this female who would be his wife soon. In time, he might come to love her, for it was easy to desire her.

“You must have it tended each sun, Bright Arrow, for it is red with anger and gathering poison. It might cause your arm to grow weak with pain and your head cloudy with fever. Why must men always be stubborn and careless with such things?” she softly scolded him.
“A man of much wisdom and strength knows when he must yield to his body’s weakness and needs. To deny them is foolish.”

He lifted her hands and kissed each fingertip. “I will obey you, for you are wise and enchanting. Your touch is very gentle and warming, little heartfire.” As he pressed a kiss to each knuckle and palm, he teased huskily, “No wonder my arm flames with fire, my whole body burns at your nearness and attention. See how I quiver with eagerness? I have taken no woman but Wahea to a mat since I met my wife over twenty winters past. I will be as true to you, Singing Wind, for my heart has room for only one love and woman, as I give all of myself to her and our union.” His fingers brushed over her lips and he gazed into her golden brown eyes as he vowed, “If you need help, we will find you a slave, for I desire only you as my mate. We must join soon, for I grow wild to have you near me at all times. You fill my head and heart.”

He captured her chin and pulled her face to his, sealing their lips. His fingers wandered into her silky hair and his mouth greedily explored hers, for she could not decide if or how she should resist him.

Sun Cloud peeked inside the tepee and his heart ached at the scene which he viewed, for he had arrived as his brother was kissing each fingertip and making his sultry confession. As Singing Wind was not resisting Bright Arrow, he assumed she was responding, and was agreeable to the union which was set between them. He could not let them know he had witnessed this tormenting sight, so he left quickly.

It was Tashina who interrupted them with her return. She was baffled by what she observed, for she had believed both were in love with others. Too, the flap was not closed to indicate privacy. “I have returned, Singing Wind,” she called out to catch their
attention as she ducked to enter, pretending she saw nothing.

“It is good to see you, Father,” Tashina added as she looked at him and smiled. “How was your journey? You are injured?”

“It is good to see you, daughter. It is a small injury from my mourning cut. Do not worry; Singing Wind has tended it for me. All went good on our mission. When the council meeting is over, we will talk of our joinings. Perhaps they can be on the same moon.”

Neither female replied as he grinned and left. “What will we do?” Tashina asked in dread. “What if they set the joining date for soon? Have you changed your mind about my father?”

Singing Wind gave it some thought and answered, “We will use our woman’s ways to stall it as long as possible. All is resting upon their visions; we must find a way to prove they are wrong.”

“What if we cannot?” the younger female questioned in panic.

“Then you must join Silver Hawk and I must join Bright Arrow.”

The Oglala council met and a full report was given, even the parts which Bright Arrow wished he could hold secret. His arm was aching again, and he wanted the council over so he could chew the special root which removed his pain, but also his consciousness. He was tense and irritable, impatient and uneasy. He hated going through all of this again, and it showed. It did not help when Night Rider and Touch-the-sky gave their reports and impressions, for neither gave Bright Arrow credit for their success, but did for their minor defeats.

Matters grew worse for Bright Arrow when war chief Big Elk was the one to relate Sun Cloud’s newest
coups.
It was clear to everyone that Sun Cloud’s deeds far outweighed Bright Arrow’s information. It was also clear that several council members and high-ranking warriors were being drawn toward Sun Cloud.

Sun Cloud was dismayed by what he was perceiving. He said, “My brother is injured and feverish. He needs to rest before we ride to the war council on the new sun. He has gathered many important facts for us, and we must think carefully on them. His plan to attack small bands is a clever one, and we must use it. If there is no more to discuss, we all need food and rest, for our journey is upon us.”

Bright Arrow glanced at his brother and frowned, for Sun Cloud’s words seemingly pointed out his weakness and tension. “I am fine, my brother. There is no need to end the council early for me.”

Big Elk said, “There is nothing more to say until after the war council. We must plan how to use the whites’ fears and rivalries against them, but we must not attack their new camp until we have help from our allies. Do not worry over the whites’ words, for they do not know our ways. If all goes well, you can be the one to slay Flaming Hair. I am pleased you did not fall into the bluecoat’s trap. You were wise to save the bluecoat’s garment; we may have need of it. Return to your future mate and share time with her before the sun sleeps.”

Bright Arrow snipped, “No sun has gone to sleep on a day when a woman is more important than missions or a council meeting.”

Mind-who-Roams ventured, “You are weary and injured, Bright Arrow. You must make yourself strong to ride for your people again. Return to your tepee; I will send a special herb to you to ease your pain.”

Flaming Star squeezed Bright Arrow’s arm to caution him against speaking sharply again, and Bright Arrow, suddenly realizing how foolish he was being,
said, “Forgive me, for I am weary and injured. I will do as my council says, for they are wise and kind. Many good and brave men rode with me; at the next council, I must tell of their
coups.
No men could do more to help than Flaming Star, Good Tracker, Night Rider, and Touch-the-sky. When I was about to make errors in my eagerness and illness, they halted me or corrected me. I thank them and honor them. I will think and plan while I rest.”

If any two women could be grateful for the bad luck of others, Tashina and Singing Wind were that night. Pretty Red Fox was weak and sick, and asked Tashina if she would sleep in her tepee to help her care for her new child and husband, for she was an only wife. Tashina explained the problem to her father, then left quickly. As she fetched water, Sun Cloud approached her and they talked.

She confided her new fears and doubts to him, then asked, “Are you certain you can prevent my joining to Silver Hawk?”

“I will do all I can, Tashina. Pray I find victory soon, for your fate is tied to mine and to our people’s,” he responded sadly.

“And to Singing Wind’s, for she is trapped too,” she murmured absently. “I wish we could both be free of our duty and pain.”

Sun Cloud looked at her and asked, “What do you mean?”

“I do not wish my father to be hurt by the loss of another woman he loves, but Singing Wind does not wish to join him. She loves another. As with me, she is being forced to join him. Father announced it in council before she was told. As with you, she says our fates depend on the truth of the visions, and she waits to have them proven wrong.”

“Who is this man she loves?” he asked, his heart
drumming wildly.

“I do not know; she said it was wrong to think or to speak of him while she is promised to another.”

Sun Cloud questioned hoarsely, “Why has she kept this love a secret? Why did she agree to join my brother?”

“She could not speak of him to others until he made his claim on her. There was no time after she learned of their love, for her joining to my father had been accepted by Medicine Bear and spoken aloud by Father. He has not challenged for her or gone to her in love or anger, so she fears he does not love her as she loves him. What does it matter? Our laws and duties must come first with us and with our loves. Yet, I would rather die than accept Silver Hawk in my love’s place.”

Sun Cloud hugged her affectionately and coaxed, “You will join Soul-of-Thunder, I promise you, so do not worry this pretty head.” As he watched her return to camp, he wished Singing Wind was not trapped in the tepee with Silver Hawk and Bright Arrow. Right or wrong, there was something he had to do very soon…

Bright Arrow had taken the medicine herb which the shaman had brought to him, so he was drowsy when Silver Hawk returned. It was a battle for him to stay awake long enough to relate his recent deeds. Singing Wind served her brother’s meal, aware of his annoyance at the event which had taken Tashina from his grasp, but ignorant of his vexation toward the devious bluecoat who had left a message for him. Soon, Bright Arrow was asleep, taking her from his eager grasp. Silver Hawk left to speak with Sun Cloud, to see what he could learn about the council meeting, preventing her from going to her love secretly.

When Silver Hawk returned, he could not sleep. He tossed and turned until he was irritable. Singing Wind saw him as he sneaked the remaining medicine root and
devoured it to help him sleep. Soon, both men were deep in peaceful slumber. Singing Wind was edgy too, for she was so close to her love, but unable to seek him in another’s tepee. She decided to go for a swim, even if the camp was asleep and it was rash. She slipped from the tepee and made her way to the river. She walked down its bank for a ways, then stripped, and dove into the water.

When she surfaced and wiped her face of moisture, she found herself looking into the grinning face of Sun Cloud. She glanced around in alarm, then whispered, “What are you doing here? This is forbidden. Your brother could slay you for this offense.”

Sun Cloud stepped toward her. She defensively tried to back away, her eyes wide with panic, but he gently seized her shoulders and pulled her against his nude body. His face came close to hers as he vowed confidently, “I do not believe you love and desire my brother or will be happy with him, for I own your heart and body. I cannot push our past aside and go on without you. No woman has touched me as you have. I believe it is the will of the Great Spirit for you to join the Oglala chief; that will be me after the vote is taken. I was coming to tell you of my love and to ask for your hand in joining from Medicine Bear after our council, but Bright Arrow announced his joining to you. I could not challenge him before I learned the truth from your lips, not without staining your life by revealing our stolen passion. If evil has separated us, we must destroy it to be joined. If it is the will of the Great Spirit for Bright Arrow to be chief and to win you, then I must tell you of my love, and I must have you one last time. And know, no other woman will ever take your place in my heart.”

Singing Wind was stunned by his confession and suggestion. “If you love me and want me as you vow,
how can you allow me to join your brother, or any other man? You have the right to me by first possession and can challenge for me.”

“Challenge my own brother to the death? I cannot. He did not know about us when he asked for you and made a public claim on you. If I had known of his desires and plans for you, I would have spoken to him and halted this matter which rips out my heart. He has been misguided, but soon he will be enlightened; then he will release you to me. If I challenged and lost, all would know of your dishonor; I cannot do this evil thing to you, for I love you, Singing Wind, and wish no harm to come to you, from me or from others.”

“It is no dishonor to love you,” she protested his choice of words.

“To us, it is not; but to others, we both know it is viewed that way. I cannot slay my own brother. If he was not my brother, I would forget the shame we would endure and challenge for you this sun. There is another reason; to challenge for you when our love has been kept secret would make it appear I only seek to hurt him and to snatch the chiefs bonnet for myself. Others do not know his vision is not from the Great Spirit. I must be chief, as is my duty to my people and to my father. We must be patient until Grandfather reveals this evil.”