Bittersweet Surrender (31 page)

“Oh, how so?” Melissa asked.

“Well, let's see, Scott was out with Carly on Friday night and now he's sitting here kissing you. Yes, ma'am, I could learn a few things from this man.”

Melissa definitely stiffened, but surprised them both when she turned to Jake and said, “Yes, I believe you could learn a few things from this man. I'll call you tonight, Scott.” She stood and left both men watching after her, mouths gaping.

Carly wasn't sure how long C. J. sat there,
staring at the tears that dropped onto his calloused hands. A knot swelled in her throat. Hot tears burned her eyes and her stomach churned as she watched her brother in such anguish.

She put her hand on his like she used to do when they were kids. She always played the part of the big sister, watching over him, bailing him out of trouble. But something told her this time she couldn't fix it.

“This is gonna hurt you, Carly. I hate like everything to tell you.”

“Hurt me?” She braced herself. What could it be? Her mind swarmed with possibilities, but not one landed long enough for her to reach out and digest it.

He took a ragged breath and looked up at her, eyes swollen, cheeks tearstained. “Ivy and I were having an affair.”

She gasped. Was that possible? How could she not have known that? “How? What? That can't be true. She wouldn't have kept that from me.”

“Listen, Carly, I know Ivy was your best friend. But I don't think you knew her as well as you thought.”

Images of Gary flashed in her mind, and she began to wonder if anyone was as they seemed anymore. She tried to comprehend his words.

“How long?”

“About a year.”

Her thoughts spun out of control. It was all unimaginable.

“She's the one who got me into gambling,” he said.

Carly's gaze cut to him. “How can you say that? You've been gambling with the guys for years.”

“Yes, that's true. But Ivy showed me the big stuff—the casinos, online, all that.”

Her equilibrium threatened to wane. She kept her hands on the side of the chair to steady herself.

“'Course, it's not her fault I've gone overboard with it.” He stared at the floor. “Scott was gone all the time with work. She helped me out at the photography studio a few times, and it just sort of happened. We hadn't planned it.”

Carly remembered how Scott had felt uncomfortable around C. J. Always thought C. J. didn't like him. Now she knew why there was a wall between them. “So Ivy wasn't really working on a project for Scott, was she? That was just a cover for Rita when she caught you two together?” Carly whispered her question as though by keeping it quiet it wouldn't be true.

“Yeah.”

“So Rita doesn't know?”

He shook his head. “As far as I know, she has no clue. She left because of the gambling debts and my drinking.”

Carly gathered her resolve. “Why did you say you killed her?”

C. J. swallowed. Hard. “The night of her death she had been over at the studio after hours. I had made up my mind I didn't want to put my marriage in jeopardy any longer. Things were out of control. The more I realized how deep we were getting into this lifestyle, the more I realized I didn't want it. I couldn't bear to lose Rita. Yes, I had messed up big time, and I knew I could still lose her, but if I had stayed with Ivy, I would have lost Rita for sure.”

“Go on.”

Another deep breath. “That night when she came to the studio, I told her it was over between us. I wanted to get out of the gambling, and I wanted to get my life back.” He looked at his hands. “She cried. Ivy begged me to leave Rita and marry her.”

Carly could hardly believe her ears. All these years she had thought Ivy and Scott had a near-perfect marriage. Nothing was as it seemed. How could she ever trust her own judgment again?

“She kept trying to kiss me, and I pushed her away.” Stubborn tears surfaced and with one jerk of his hand, he swiped them away. “She screamed at me. Told me I was making a big mistake. That I would be sorry. Then she stormed toward the door. Just before leaving, she turned around and said, ‘By the way, I found out today that I'm pregnant . . . with
your
baby.' She slammed the door.” He looked up at Carly. “I didn't know about the baby. Oh, I didn't know about the baby.” He pulled his beefy fingers to his face and cried bitter tears. “I tried to go after her, but I never found her,” he said finally. “You called me three hours later to tell me she had died in an accident.”

“But the baby. You and Rita—”

“I know. Rita and I haven't been able to have children. I've tried to get Rita to go to the doctor on her own. She insists on me having tests, too, but the problem isn't with me. How could I tell her that?” More brushing away tears. “Anyway, it was my fault as surely as if I had pulled a gun on her—and my baby.”

Now Carly was crying. She went over to C. J.'s side and knelt at his feet. “No, C. J., it wasn't your fault. You were trying to make right the wrong you had done. Ivy just refused to go along with what was right. It was her choice. She could be very stubborn. We both know that. You can't blame yourself for her death. Or the baby's.”

C. J. did something he hadn't done in a very long time. He reached over and pulled Carly into a long, hard hug. A hug that told her she was his lifeline to sanity.

She wasn't sure how long they hugged and cried together, but by the time they separated, they were both spent. She wanted desperately to ask him if she could pray with him, but this whole revelation stirred something in her own spirit. It weakened her resolve somehow. Who could she trust? Oh, she didn't blame her brother. He'd made some bad choices, and so had Ivy. But why hadn't Carly spotted the problem? They had been best friends.

“I can't understand how I didn't know something was going on. I was with both of you all the time.”

“We were very careful to keep it from you. Not only that, but you were dealing with the aftermath of your cancer and losing Gary.”

How could she have forgotten that? That time was pretty much a wash for her. It was as though it had never happened. Her life had been numb through it all. Which was just as well.

C. J.'s hands engulfed her own. “Can you forgive me, sis?”

“Oh, C. J., of course I forgive you. But I'm not the one who needs to forgive you.”

He stiffened. “I know I need to talk to Scott. But I'm just not ready yet.”

“I was thinking of someone even more important than Scott.”

His eyes searched hers. “I'm not there yet, sis. But don't give up on me. Keep praying.”

After leaving C. J.'s, Carly decided to swing
by the coffeehouse. Hopefully she wouldn't see anyone she knew, but she just couldn't face Magnolia right now. It would kill her to know what Ivy had been up to. She still could hardly fathom it herself.

Oblivious to everything around her, Carly numbly walked into the coffeehouse and ordered her drink. Just as she was about to slip into her seat, she heard someone calling her name.

“Hey, Carly.”

She looked up and spotted Scott and Jake actually sitting at the same table together. She rubbed her eyes just to make sure she had seen correctly. Both guys got up and walked over to her table.

“What a small town this is,” Jake teased, showing no indication whatsoever of their earlier rift over C. J. He almost seemed eager to join her.

“You doing okay?” Scott asked.

“I'm fine.” Instantly the thought struck her that Scott didn't know about Ivy and C. J. Would Scott blame her for her brother's sins? Would their friendship endure this nightmare? She couldn't think about it now. One step at a time. Right now, it was all she could do to sit still and drink her coffee.

Scott studied her and she shifted in her seat. Why didn't he look somewhere else? If only he didn't read her so well. She didn't have the words to explain right now. She wasn't sure she ever would. Besides, why should she have to tell him? Why not C. J.?

But then hadn't C. J. been through enough?

Wait. Hadn't
she
been through enough? She had to learn to stop bailing her brother out of trouble.

Jake leaned his chair back on its hind legs. “Yeah, seems as though Lover Boy here has quite a harem going.”

Scott and Carly both whipped around to look at him.

“What?” she asked.

Jake shrugged. “He takes you out on Friday night and tonight I walk into the coffee shop to find him kissing Melissa Winters.”

So that was why he'd wanted to talk to her. So he could tattle on Scott. Though Carly couldn't imagine why he felt the need to do that. She had no claims on Scott. She felt herself blush.

“Well, Jake, he is an adult after all. Besides, I took him out, he didn't take me. I owed him.” She didn't really want to explain that. It did Jake good to be a little jealous. Still, his comment upset her. She didn't want to deal with it right now.

“It was hardly like that, anyway, Jake,” Scott said with obvious irritation. “Melissa is a friend. She reached over and kissed me—”

Jake let out a laugh that jostled the coffee cups. “Oh yeah, right. I didn't exactly see you pushing her away.”

“As a matter of fact, I did push her away. But you know what, I don't owe you an explanation.”

By now, Scott's face was red, and Carly figured he was as embarrassed as she was by Jake's juvenile approach.

“So where's Katelyn?” she asked, to swerve the conversation in another direction.

“She's at home, I guess. I don't keep tabs on her twenty-four hours a day, Carly. The kid has a life.”

As usual, he did not appreciate her interference where Katelyn was concerned, that much was obvious, but his lack of concern for his daughter bothered Carly to no end.

“That doesn't mean you just let her run wild. She needs her father's gentle love and boundaries,” she said.

“She's not in grade school,” he snapped.

“No, but it would be nice if she knew that you cared.”

“Why wouldn't she know that?”

Carly rubbed her temples. “I don't know. I'm sorry.”

“I guess so. You've never had a child and yet you're trying to tell me how to raise mine.”

“I don't think she was doing that, Jake. We both care about Katelyn and I think Carly just asked out of concern.”

“You stay out of this, Hammond. You have no clue what's going on in your life, so don't you think you can run mine.” With that Jake got up from his chair, tossed his coffee cup in a trash bin, and disappeared through the door.

“This day has just gone from bad to worse,” Carly voiced before she could stop herself.

Scott reached over and touched her arm. “You all right?”

He was such a caring person. How could Ivy betray him that way? If Carly had been fortunate enough to have a husband like Scott, she'd still be married today.

“I'm fine.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not now.”

“Okay, but remember”—his hesitation caused her to look up and lock eyes with him—“I'll always be here when you need me.”

twenty

Carly avoided the mirror when she shrugged
on her nightgown. Her Monday was bad enough without dealing with that right now. She tried to pray before climbing into bed, but she couldn't. Her old fears were back, tenfold.

People were never what they seemed. Gary. Jake. C. J. Now Ivy. Carly didn't know what to believe anymore. She wanted to stay in bed and pull the covers over her head. No one could hurt her there.

She'd been an idiot. There was no way she could have a relationship with Jake. He wasn't the settle-down type. Never had been. He was self-centered and immature. She wondered if he was truly husband material—for anyone.

A smidgen of guilt flashed through her for thinking that, but she couldn't help it. These questions and more plagued her.

Sleep called to her, but she couldn't get past the look on Jake's face as they talked about Katelyn. To say he was defensive was an understatement. Well, fine, he could raise her as he wanted, and in the meantime Carly would try to be a friend to Katelyn. But as far as a relationship with Jake was concerned, Carly didn't see much hope there. In fact, tonight she'd pretty much decided she preferred to live alone for the rest of her life than trust someone again. What happened tonight proved to her that she couldn't trust her own judgment.

And then there was Scott. What would he say when he found out about Ivy? No doubt when he discovered the truth, he wouldn't want to have anything to do with Carly. After all, C. J. was Carly's brother. So tonight she'd lost a boyfriend and a best friend. Her mood was sinking lower by the minute.

While she tried to sort through her tortuous thoughts, the phone blared through the night air. Alarm shot clear through her.