Black Dagger Brotherhood 11 - Lover at Last (13 page)

the time—an uncomfortable feeling tightened his gut.

All that anonymous, nameless, faceless fucking…in front of Blay. Always with the guy, come to

think of it. At the time, it had felt like a buddy/buddy kind of situation, but now he wondered.

Yeah, screw that. He
knew
what it had been about.

He was such a pussy, wasn’t he.

Getting to his feet, he stripped naked and let his wifebeater and his b-ball shorts flop onto the

bench in a wet mess. Walking to the shower room, he picked one of the showerheads at random,

cranked the thing on, and stepped under the spray. The water was nut-shrinking cold, but he didn’t

care. He faced the onslaught, shutting his lids and opening his mouth.

That redhead in the club almost a year ago? When he’d been seducing the guy into the loo, it had

been Blay in his mind the whole time.

It was Blay who’d he’d pushed back against the sink and kissed hard. Blay’s cock he’d sucked

off, and Blay’s body he’d taken from behind and—

“For the love…” he groaned.

From out of nowhere, the image of his old friend sitting on the machine just now, his knees wide,

his cock straining against the oh-so-thin material of those shorts entered his mind and shot down his spine, going straight between his legs. With a curse, he sagged and had to put a hand out on the slick tile.

“Oh…fuck…”

Leaning in, he rested his forehead on his arm and tried to concentrate on the feel of the water

hitting the nape of his neck.

Not even close.

All he was aware of was the heartbeat in his cock.

Well, that and a ringing fantasy of him dropping to his knees and pressing in between Blay’s open

thighs, licking his way into that mouth…while burrowing under the waistband of those shorts and

starting to give the guy a hand job he would never fucking forget.

Among so many other things.

Turning around to face away from the spray, Qhuinn pushed his hands into his hair, sluicing it

back, arching his spine.

He could feel his cock sticking straight out from his hips, begging for attention.

But he wasn’t going to do anything about it. Blay deserved better than that somehow—yeah, it

didn’t make sense, but it just felt nasty to be jerking off in the shower over the guy’s arousal about someone else.

Hell, the guy’s
partner
.

Qhuinn’s own
cousin
, for chrissakes.

As his erection just hung out there, unfazed by that logic, he knew it was going to be a long

frickin’ day.

ELEVEN

Blay dropped his head with a curse as the weight room door eased shut. And of course, from

that vantage point, all he could see was his cock.

Which did not help.

Shifting his eyes back up, he stared across at the chin-up bar, and knew he had to do

something. Sitting here half-drunk with a party in his pants was hardly a position he wanted to get caught in. If a Brother like Rhage walked in on this? Blay would be hearing about it for the rest of his natural life. Besides, he was in his workout gear, surrounded by equipment, so he might as well get busy, pump some iron, and hope that Mr. Happy sank into a depression from lack of attention.

Good plan.

Really.

Yup.

When he glanced at the clock sometime later, he realized fifteen minutes had passed and he was

no closer to constructive, repetitive motion, unless you counted breathing.

His erection had a suggestion for that kind of goal.

And his palm was immediately on board, going between his legs, finding that hard—

Blay burst up from the seat and went for the door. Enough with the bullshit—he was going to hit

the loo in the locker room in the hope of cycling some of the alcohol out of his system. Then he was going to get on a treadmill and sweat the rest of the booze out.

After which it was time to head to bed—where, if he needed an outlet of the erotic variety, he

was going to find it in the appropriate place.

The first sign that his new plan might have taken him only farther into the weeds came as he

pushed his way into locker-landia: the sound of running water meant someone was doing the soap-

and-shampoo thing. He was so focused on kicking himself in the butt, however, he didn’t bother with any extrapolations.

Which would have made him stop, turn around, and find another toilet ASAP.

Instead, he went past the lockers and did his business. It wasn’t until he was washing his hands

that the math started to add up.

Of its own volition, his head cranked around in the direction of the showers.

You need to leave,
he told himself.

As he turned off the faucet, the subtle squeak seemed loud as a scream, and he refused to look at

himself in the mirrors. He didn’t want to see what was in his eyes.

Go back to the door. Just go back to the door. Just—

The failure of his body to follow that simple command was not merely an exercise of physical

rebellion. It was, tragically, his pattern.

And he would regret it later.

At the moment, however, when he made the choice to walk over, and duck around the tiled wall

of the shower room, when he kept himself mostly hidden, when he spied on a male he shouldn’t

have…the mad rush of emotion was so achingly familiar, it was a suit of clothes tailor-fitted to his madness.

Qhuinn was facing into the showerhead he was standing under, one hand braced against the slick

wall, his dark head bowed under the spray. Water ran over his shoulders and down the acres of

supple skin that covered his powerful back…and then flowed onto his magnificent ass…and went

ever farther, past those long, strong legs.

In the last year, the fighter had filled out quite a bit. Qhuinn had been big after his transition, and had gotten even larger during those first few months of intense eating. But it had been a while since Blay had seen the male without his clothes on…and man, the punishing gym routines he’d been putting himself through showed in all that hard-cut muscle—

Abruptly Qhuinn shifted his position, pivoting around, tilting his head back, sluicing the water

through his dark hair, that incredible body arching.

He’d kept his PA.

And holy shit, he was aroused—

An orgasm immediately threatened the head of Blay’s cock, his balls getting tight as fists.

Wheeling around, he left the locker room like he was shot out of a cannon, punching through the

door, jumping out into the corridor.

“Oh, shit…fucking…goddamn…fuck…”

Walking as fast as he could, he tried to get that image out of his head, reminding himself that he

had a lover, that he’d moved on from all this, that you could self-destruct over the same thing only so many times and then you were done.

When none of that worked, he replayed the speech he’d given to Qhuinn in the tow truck—

Where the hell was the office?

Stopping short, he looked around. Oh, fantastic. He’d gone in the opposite direction from what

he’d intended, and was now down past the clinic and into the classroom part of the training center.

Miles from the entrance to the tunnel.

“…laceration that deep. But he wouldn’t have it.”

Manny Manello’s deep voice preceded the man walking out into the corridor from the main

examination room. A second later, Doc Jane made an appearance right behind him, an open chart in

her hand, her fingertip tracing down a page.

Blay ducked through the first door he came to—

And ran right into a wall of blackness. Patting around for a light switch, because he was too

scattered to turn any bulbs on mentally, he found one, flipped it, and blinded himself.

“Ow!”

The sharp shooter that rocketed from his shin to his brain told him he’d walked into something

large.

Ah, a desk.

He was in one of the mini-offices that satellited the classrooms, and that was good news. With the

training program still suspended because of the raids, there was no one down here, and no one likely to think of a reason to be in this empty little room.

He could have some privacy for a while—and that was a blessing. God knew he wasn’t going to

try to make it to the mansion now. With his luck he’d run into Qhuinn, and the last thing he needed was to be anywhere near the guy.

Going behind the desk, he sat down in the cushy office chair and brought his legs up, stretching

them across the flat top that should have had a computer, a plant, and a holder full of pens on it.

Instead, it was barren, although not dust-covered. Fritz would never stand for that even in an unused space.

Rubbing at the sore spot on the front of his calf, it was clear that he was going to have one hell of a black-and-blue mark. But at least the pain distracted him from what had driven him down here.

That didn’t last, though.

As he tilted the chair back and closed his eyes, his brain returned to the locker room.

Was the torture never going to end, he thought.

And, God, his cock was pounding.

Considering his choices, he willed the lights off, closed his eyes, and ordered his brain to shut up and go to sleep. If he could just catch a few down here for an hour or two, he’d wake up sober,

flaccid, and ready to face people again.

Now,
this
was a good plan, and it was also the perfect environment. Dark, a little cool, super-quiet in the way only facilities underground were.

Shimmying his body even deeper into the chair, he crossed his arms over his chest and got ready

for the REM train to pull into his station.

When that didn’t work, he started to imagine all kinds of “off” situations, like vacuums unplugged

from the wall, and fires extinguished with water, and TV screens going black….

Qhuinn had looked so eminently fuckable like that, his slick, smooth body carved with muscle, his

sex so thick and proud. All that water would have made him both slippery and hot…and, dearest

Virgin Scribe, Blay would have given almost anything to walk over the tile, get down on his knees,

and take that sex into his mouth, feeling that blunt head with its piercing stroke over his tongue as he went up and down—

The disgusted noise he made echoed around, sounding louder than it probably had been.

Opening his eyes, he tried to clear any fantasies that involved sucking out of his mind. But all the pitch-black didn’t help; it just formed the perfect screen to keep projecting on.

Cursing, he gave that yoga thing a shot, where you relaxed the tension in each and every part of the body, starting with the perma-twist between his eyebrows, then the rigid ropes that ran from his

shoulders up to the base of his skull. His chest was tight, too, his pecs contracted for no good reason, his biceps digging into his upper arms.

Next, he was supposed to focus on his abs and then his butt and his thighs, his knees and calves…

his this-little-piggy-went-homes.

He didn’t make it that far.

Then again, trying to talk his arousal into any kind of malleability would have required powers of

persuasion that his half-drunk brain didn’t possess.

Unfortunately, there was only one sure-fire way of getting rid of Mr. Happy. And in the dark, by

himself, with the umbrella of no-one-will-ever-know protecting the moment, why shouldn’t he just

work the damn thing, drain the burn, and pass out? It was no different from waking up at the fall of night with an erection—because God knew there was no emotional anything involved. And he was

under the influence, right? So that was another pass.

He wasn’t cheating on Saxton, he told himself. He wasn’t
with
Qhuinn—and Saxton
was
the one he wanted….

For a while, he continued to argue the pros and cons, but eventually his hand made the decision

for him. Before he knew it, his palm was burrowing under his loose waistband and—

The hiss he let out when he gripped himself was like a gunshot in the silence, and so was the

groan of the chair as the thrust of his hips pushed his shoulders into the leather padding. Hot and hard, thick and long, his cock was begging for attention—but the angle was all wrong, and there was no

room for stroking in the damn shorts.

For some reason, the idea of stripping from the waist down made him feel dirty, but his sense of

propriety went into the shitter pretty fast when all he could do was squeeze. Lifting his ass, he swept the shorts off…and then realized he was going to need something to clean up the mess with.

The shirt came off next.

Naked in the dark, sprawled out long from the chair and to the desktop, he gave himself over,

spreading his thighs, pumping up and down. The friction made his eyes roll back in his head, made

him bite his lower lip—God, the sensations were so strong, flowing through his body—