Black Flag (Racing on the Edge) (23 page)

When another fan
approached, I looked toward Spencer. His face and hands covered in barbeque
sauce as he stared intently at Tommy and Justin across from him. I had a
feeling with the way Tommy was staring back that they had some kind of unspoken
eating contest going down.

Ryder Christensen, a
USAC driver Jameson had known for years, showed up about that time. Pushing pas
the fans, he gave Jameson a hug and then sat down to enjoy some good barbeque
with us.

Emma smiled politely
toward Ryder. She lost her virginity to him back when Jameson was competing for
the USAC Triple Crown National title. Aiden must not have known but Ryder was
polite enough he didn’t make a big deal and just smiled at her. They never had
a relationship, just humped.

Laughing, I looked at
Jimi when I heard him chuckle. He and Nancy seemed to be in their own personal
bubble, ignoring everything else around them and having a moment with each
other. That was until a fan requested his autograph.

Jameson wasn’t the only
one being stalked tonight. Jimi, Ryder, and Justin have had their fair share
too but nothing close to the pure lunacy surrounding Jameson. It was times like
this I realized just how much of Jameson’s privacy had been raped from him. He
had none anymore. With the quiet way he spoke and the wary way he watched the
crowd around him told me he was uncomfortable.

After another thirty
minutes, Jameson was finally able to eat his cold meal. The overly coquettish
waitress brought out another plate for him trying to blandish him into going
home with her. Up until that point, I remained seated across from Jameson,
until he winked and motioned for me to come over when the waitress wouldn’t
leave.

I swaggered my knocked
up pigizzle ass over to him. I was originally going to take a seat next to him
but instead, he pulled me onto his lap.

I smiled widely at the
public display of affection. A few fans took some pictures of Jameson and I
seated together, which I really didn’t mind. I was just happy to be close to
him. Just his scent had a way of calming me down.

Jameson eventually
started eating but kept me seated securely on his lap and I couldn’t take my
eyes off him as he licked the barbeque sauce off his fingers.

Lucas decided he was
cold and stole Jameson’s North Face jacket from the back of his chair.

This didn’t seem like
something Jameson would usually get upset about but he did.

“Lucas!” he seethed scrambling
for him. “Give me the fucking jacket.”

Lucas ignored him and
stuck his tiny arms through the sleeves, then started rummaging around through
the pockets like the
klepto
he was.

“Hey—what’s this?”
Lucas asked removing a black box from the pocket. Before I could get a good
look at what it was, Jameson lunged for Lucas knocking glasses and plates over
in the process to get to him.

Emma and Alley moved to
sit next to me which I assumed was a distraction as Jameson retrieved the
mystery box from Lucas. I had a distinct feeling that black box was the
mysterious box in his pants the other night.

Ten minutes later,
Jameson was seated next to me again, staring at me like he wanted to ask
something. I was about to ask him why he was staring at me when Logan laughed.
“You shouldn’t carry the—” Charlie cut him off by grabbing his head into a
head-lock.

“Kids
...
” Charlie grinned. “Little bastards say
the stupidest shit sometimes.”

Jameson’s head fell
forward against the table mumbling something I couldn’t make out.

I also had a feeling as
to what was in the box now but I also had enough sense not to ask. Whatever it
was, he wasn’t ready to tell me.

After dinner that
night, Jameson and I intended on watching a movie but once we were alone in the
dark movie room, trying to pick a movie, he had other plans. I wrapped my arms
around him and put my hands in the back pockets of his jeans. Jameson bent his
head down and trailed a row of kisses from my neck up. Lifting me up, he easily
carried me over to the couch. My back hit the soft leather and Jameson’s body
was on top of mine in an instant.

“You smell so good.”
His low voice whispered in my ear.

I whimpered in reply.
“So do you.”

He pulled me closer,
his lips working in perfect unison against my own. Jameson hitched my leg
around his waist so that he could push himself deeper between my legs, still
cautious of my baby bump. He groaned, and my head fell back against the sofa
revealing my neck as he placed wet kisses against it. We moved together, his
hips pushed against mine, his hands hungrily kneading the skin of my lower back
before gripping my waist to create the friction he desired for proper
reciprocating motion. His hips deliciously ground against mine, and I almost
couldn’t take it, almost.

His firm body pushed me
into the leather and I let out whore moan of epic proportions. I could actually
feel the camshaft harden in response.

“You’re killing me,
honey. I
want
you so bad.” The way he intoned the word “want” left me a
quivering mess in his arms willing to give him anything he wanted.

“Me too
...
” I panted against his neck. “I think I
need to check for thickness variation.”

What started out as
something fairly chaste, turned violently passionate at those words. My back
arched into him. I moaned in his ear, which spurred him.

“Let’s go up to my—” he
stopped when he heard footsteps.

“Just coming to see if
you picked a movie
...
” Nancy interrupted
coming into the movie room. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Do you need
a condom?” she giggled. “Never mind, you already knocked her up.” Another
giggle escaped her.

“Maybe if we’re quiet”
Jameson whispered. “
she’ll
leave.”

“Not likely Jameson.
Sway honey, are you okay?” she brushed her hair from her face to get a closer
glance.

“Mom
...
leave
.” Jameson said through
kisses and my giggles. Thankfully, it was dark and she couldn’t see all that
well, but I’m sure she knew what he was doing between my legs. After all, she
was the mother of two boys.

“Honey, you shouldn’t
be dry humping her with everyone else in the other room.” Nancy huffed. “There
are children present.”

“Hey!” Emma chirped
walking into the room. “
Eww
gross, get off
her.”

“Leave,” Jameson said
more sternly to the two of them.

“Are you sure everything’s
all right?” She moved closer tucking her rusty locks behind her ear. “I think
you’re crushing Sway and the baby.”

Emma giggled curling
into the chaise lounge on the other side of us. “Yeah, you’re squishing her fat
ass.”

“I’m fine Nancy, and so
is the baby.” I said from under him.

“Good,” satisfied, she
sat in an overstuffed leather chair next to us. “Let’s watch a movie. Logan,
Lucas, the movie is on!”

Jameson growled against
my neck. “Damn it
...
” his head fell against
my shoulder and then he reluctantly rolled off me to sit up, pulling a pillow
over his lap, which made me giggle again. He shot me a glare but smirked after
a moment when I mouthed, “later” to him.

Emma laughed. “Poor
Jameson,” She gave him a pouty lip.

Jameson being Jameson;
snatched the popcorn bowl from Nancy and launched it at Emma across the room,
ending her giggle fit.

I felt like a kid again
who got caught making out which made me giggle again. I stopped giggling all
together when the Lucifer twins joined us.

They’d apparently
already wrapped Nancy around their fingers and convinced her to let them stay
at the house instead of the hotel with Charlie and Andrea.

It was a bad idea.

I must have fallen
asleep in the movie room because when I woke up it was morning I was in
Jameson’s room and he was nowhere to be found.

After taking a quick
shower, I made my way downstairs to find everyone gathered around the table
outside on the deck.

“What are you doing?”
Spencer asked Jameson watching him pick through the fruit. “You hate
pineapple.”

“No I don’t.” Jameson
mumbled reaching for the pineapple from the breakfast spread Nancy arranged.

“Yes you do, dude.”
Spencer continued to load an obscene amount of bacon on his plate.

“Shut up.” Jameson
responded walking away, pineapple in hand, to sit down at the table. The
morning sun caught his rusty loops that where peeking out from under his white
hat.

Thinking of Jameson
eating pineapple, which he did in fact hate, a giggle slipped out.

Everyone turned to look
at me standing near the French doors.

Nancy, the loving
mother she was, jumped at the chance to help me with a plate. “You’re up honey.
How are you feeling?”

“Good
...
hungry.” The entire house smelled
delicious. Pancakes, waffles, eggs, potatoes, fruit, bacon
...
oh god
...
it was a pregnant woman’s dream come true. Nancy had once
again outdone herself.

After piling my plate
in a similar fashion as Spencer had, I took a seat beside Jameson. He
immediately smirked eating his pineapple and pushed a cup toward me, his eyebrow
raised ever so slightly to both acknowledge my presence and the fact that he
was eating pineapple.

I eyed the paper cup
and pineapple suspiciously. “Where’d that come from?”

“I went and got it for
you this morning.” He shrugged. “It’s a decaf white chocolate mocha.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you seemed tired
last night so I thought you’d need it this morning.” He leaned over a kissed my
cheek.

Jimi grumbled. “Stop
it.”

Neither one of us said anything.
Jimi didn’t need to know what happened out here too and I was sure he felt the
same.

Later that afternoon we
left for Darlington, South Carolina. It was a two and an half hour drive from
Mooresville so I was surprised to see we took Jameson’s Mustang. Usually he
never drove the car anywhere longer than a few miles.

Darlington Raceway was
a 1.36 mile, egg shaped, asphalt track. It’s also known at the Lady in Black or
The Track Too Tough to Tame. It’s tricky because both ends of the track are
different configurations.

The race was on
Saturday night, which meant the first practice session would be on Wednesday.
Jameson’s week was full of sponsorship commitments, doctor appointments, and
other various media conferences aside from Friday night.

While Alley went over
Jameson’s schedule with him, the Lucifer twins were trying to convince Andrea
and Charlie to take them to some water park they found on
Google
but
Charlie was having no part of it.

“I don’t think so. You
go ahead. I’d rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool full of urine.” He
took a drink of his orange juice. “That doesn’t sound like fun to me.”

Watching the
interaction between Jameson and Alley, it was more evident Jameson was
distracted.

He was starting to
worry me. He kept acting as though he wanted or was trying to tell me something
but never did. Maybe the timing was off or maybe he just didn’t know how to say
it.

I’ve never understood
why people don’t just say what they felt. Not that I’m some sort of expert in
this. Jameson and I were a perfect example of how I wasn’t an example.

I think it’s because
we’re afraid. I knew the fear well, the feeling, and the gnawing stress as I’d
been faced with it many times dealing with Jameson and it never got me
anywhere.

Many of us, including me,
put things off because we fear what will happen when we make that decision.
Then what? Was it the right one? Can we take it back if the outcome isn’t what
we envisioned?

It may be the fear
that’s overpowering your admittance. Rejection, pain, failure, love, it’s all
playing a part in the indecisiveness. There’s that gnawing anxiety again.

For me, I don’t regret
anything. I think you have to see for yourself and play the hand you are dealt.

Grandpa Casten once told
me and I remember Jameson quoting this the night he first said I love you.
“Remember what you’re giving up because you never know what you’re getting.”

The conversation
originally took place while arguing with Jameson about who got the last Dr.
Pepper when we were twelve but I still remember the phrase Casten used to shut
us up. It meant nothing to us at twelve but now, it packed a punch.

I believe we need to
make those mistakes in order to learn our own lessons. How else would we learn
if not by mistake?