Authors: Colin Dunne
'One of the boat people,' Christopher explained. 'About two dozen of them fetched up here.'
'Have a care then, Mr Bell,' Ivan said. 'These people are ingenious entrepreneurs, I am told. They may well have plans in the general direction of the stuffed-puffin market.'
We watched the boy with the biscuit-coloured face wander off through the crowds, and then Ivan turned to me, slipping a silver-backed notebook from his pocket.
'Tell me,' he said, flipping it open, 'does the name ... now where is it ... does the name Oscar Murphy mean anything to you?'
'Not a thing.'
'Truly?'
'Hell, Ivan, I've only been here one night. Why? Who is he?'
He put the notebook back into his pocket. 'I'm not quite sure. One of our embassy people mentioned him. He wouldn't say any more. You know what those awful Intelligence people are like ... they won't tell you the time except in code. Come along, my children, Uncle Ivan is ready for drinkie poohs. Lead the way, Master Bell, you're the nearest we have to a native guide.'
13
In a tight corner, I can eat guillemot without complaint. Pushed, I can listen to a conversation about the art of bowling leg-breaks. What I cannot do - cheerfully, anyway- is both at the same time. So before the coffee came, I left Christopher and Ivan and took a taxi back to Vesturbrun.
My plan was quite simple: get back into the flat and have a good snoop around, particularly at the photo of Solrun's handsome boyfriend. If Petursson had the place staked out, as he almost certainly would, I could always say I'd nipped back to get my razor, and exit smartly.
At first I didn't think I'd get past the foyer. Petursson's man was taking it easy, thumbing through a magazine as he sprawled on a low chair in the small lounge area just inside the door. All that registered on me was his light chamois jacket they must pay their cops well around here. After that it was eyes ahead and straight towards the lift. I knew he was watching me, and any minute I was expecting to be called to heel.
But not one word. Up I went, and the same god that had installed short-sighted policemen downstairs had arranged for the door to Solrun's flat to be left open.
He'd also arranged for a whirlwind to go through the place. I couldn't believe it. Furniture was tipped over. Clothes were scattered everywhere. Drawers had been ripped open and emptied, books had been swept from their shelves, and even the mattress had been pulled off the bed.
My first thought was indignation that the cop downstairs should sit there reading up gardening tips while an intruder went through the flat. My second was that perhaps I shouldn't put in an official complaint: I was also an intruder. And the third was the photo album. It was still there, down the back of the radiator. The only surprise was that whoever had done the searching hadn't ripped the radiator off the wall.
For the second time, I sat down and opened it. This time, I began - as they say- at the beginning.
Overall, it tended to suggest that Solrun had cancelled her application to the nunnery. It started with boys who didn't look as if they'd ever raised razor to cheek and it ended with the Italian-looking smoothie and the rip-mark where the badge had been. In between were young blokes bulging their biceps beside swimming-pools, students trying to look tubercular and poetic, and sharpies poised with languid cigarettes and bored eyes. Men with moustaches, men with beards, men with shaggy sweaters, men with hand-stitched suits, men with bikes and motor-bikes and cars. And me, out of focus as usual, ringed in red, by a waterfall.
I sat and thought about it for a moment. I wasn't jealous.
You couldn't be jealous of Solrun any more than you could hate the sun for shining on other people too. She was a bit on the universal side, was Solrun.
I turned to the last page again. I knew what the long-spiked chestnut was now. It was a few years since I'd seen a picture of it, which probably explained why I hadn't recognised it immediately. It was a model of the first sputnik- you know, the Russians' vintage spacecraft. And the only people who'd be at all likely to give pride-of-place to a junky chunk of patriotic souvenir like that would not be Italian.
Once again I studied the man. Somehow he looked familiar now. He certainly didn't look Russian. I know it's wrong to nominate racial stereotypes but it is remarkable how many Russian men do have faces like over packed satchels, and Russians don't usually dress like him either.
Or cops. You don't usually see cops dressed in exquisite chamois jackets. That's why he looked familiar. The man in the photograph with Solrun - Russian, Martian or whatever the hell he was - was at this moment sitting downstairs, cool as you like.
I was going to do something about that, right there and then, only this chain saw started at the top of my head and zoomed straight through to my torso and sliced me in two at the pelvis. Either he was downstairs, cool as you like. Or he was upstairs, in charge of chain saws.
14
In books, they always say being knocked out gives you a red effect between the eyes. Well this one was a violent shade of mustard, and it swelled and heaved at the back of my eyes until I had to edge them open. Ouch. Close again. The yellow started ebbing and flowing and I realised, like it or not, I was alive.
On the whole, I didn't like it.
This time I opened my eyes and found myself face down on the carpet. A minute later I was face down in the bathroom, over the loo. I felt better for that. So I had a glass of water and did it all over again.
I looked-at myself in the mirror. That was a mistake too. I'd gone the colour of candle-fat and I could swear there were sparks coming out of the top of my head where he'd hit me. Chamois jacket. While I was sitting there carefully working it all out, he must have coasted up in the lift and coshed me with a sputnik.
I had another glass of water which, after some difficult negotiations, my stomach decided to accept. Then I turned to go back into the living-room when I saw him.
He was framed in the doorway. Handsome, of course. Elegant, in the fine soft leather. But very very surprised. He should've been running away, I should've been catching him: instead we stood there trying to hypnotise each other.
Then it broke. I shouted something; he turned and fled, and I was so unsteady that I crashed over the sofa as I tried to race after him.
I got to the door in time to see the lift go. I got to the lift in time to see it had reached the ground. And I got back to the flat window in time to see a van tearing down the hill.
That was when I lost my second glass of water.
Luckily, I managed to grab the pan from the floor in time. A pan? In the middle of the sitting-room floor? Once the urgency had passed, I studied it with some interest. One large pan, orange in colour, wooden of handle, and very heavy. For smacking someone over the head, it was a lot more useful than the scatter cushions or the bits of wicker.
While the latest attack of dizziness passed, I sat on the floor cushion and had another look at the photo album. The last page had been torn out. Surprise, surprise.
I put together the bits of my brain that were still undamaged and pointed them at this chaotic scene. They didn't do too well. Young Chamois wishes to retrieve photo of self so as not to be linked with Solrun. Yes? Well, possibly. So he sneaks in, smashes up the flat, sneaks out, sits reading Harpers until I arrive, sneaks back, wallops me over the head with pan, grabs photo and goes.
On balance, I thought not.
I decided to discard the theory that he carried large pans on his person on the off-chance of meeting a diurnalist in need of treatment. On wobbly legs I went through to the kitchen. Aha. One row of pans, orange with wooden handles. Mummy Pan, Baby Pan, but Big Daddy Pan was missing from the end hook. So, I tried that one. As I sat admiring his photograph, he tiptoed past me into the kitchen, selected the senior pan, tiptoed back, and panned me. He then threw it down, grabbed the photograph, made his escape ... and then popped back to see how I was. Little as I understand human behaviour, this didn't sound too convincing either. And if it didn't sound too good to me, how would it sound to Petursson? The flat suddenly looked a very good place not to be. I went.
15
What you do in Britain when you want to play bloodhounds is to start off at the local sub post office. There, when they eventually dig out the electoral roll from under the bacon slicer -invariably covered in potato dirt and still warm from the cat - you can find out who lives where and with whom.
In Iceland, it's the Hagstofa. The official records office is in an old building opposite a green hillock where a statue of Eric the Unsteady, or one of his chums, leans on his axe. With his rat's-tail hair, staring eyes and straggly beard, he looks like a sixties' folk-singer.
I'd nipped back to Hulda’s and had a quick shower and change when I realised I could just catch the Hagstofa before it closed. It had struck me that- apart from personal toe-curling information- I knew very little about Sol run's background. I'd been taken there once before by a local journalist and I knew it was definitely the place to start.
The manager- if that's what the three-foot word on his teak door said - wasn't sure. He was a pink hairless man with rimless glasses and a face like a hamster after a three-course meal, and he was torn between their tradition of open government and suspicion of unannounced strangers.
Two things did it. The sight of my Metropolitan Police Press Pass, with my thumb over the last two words as it wafted across his line of vision, and the words Petursson and Kopavogur in the same sentence.
With mumbled apologies, he took me through to a room where the walls, from floor to ceiling, were lined with shelves of metal files.
He reached for one, then froze with his hand up, like a schoolboy wanting to leave the room.
'Allow me,' I said, reaching past him and taking the file down.
'Thank you,' he murmured. 'So difficult. The office girls are
always taking away my steps. I think they do it for a joke.' Naturally, since this was Scandinavia and not Britain, there was no potato dirt and cat warmth. Only sheet upon sheet of computer print-out. Hamster gave a little hop over to the table and began to flick rapidly through the thin skins of paper. Suddenly he stopped. With one small sausage finger, he pushed his specs up his nose and gave me a shifty look.
'For the police?' I don't suppose he'd seen many cops in crumpled old corduroy suits.
I nodded towards the grey telephone. 'Ring Petursson.' He gave me a quick nervous smile and turned the file towards me.
'This is her, I think. Is that her date of birth?'
I looked at his finger. That made her twenty. That would be her.
He slammed that file shut and pushed it away, and brought another one through from the next room. .
'In this file there is just the standard information.' He had it open and his finger on her name again. He began to read of her address, occupation, parents' names, father dead ... 'What exactly are you looking for?'
I was listening but I was watching him too. His lower lip was
shaking. His eyes were all over the place. For reasons known only to himself and the computer, my little hamster was telling whoppers.
'Let's have a look.' I turned the file round towards me. When computers first came out I recognised them for what they were, a passing fad, and ignored them. The result is that I still experience deep panic at the sight of those square-shouldered letters. But I made him show me the letter code which followed every name, and what each letter meant. And it was all exactly as he had said: except he'd missed out one letter- a capital C.
'What does it mean?'
The tip of his fat finger whitened on the page. His eyes blinked furiously behind his specs. His lip wobbled again. But he still didn't say anything.
This time I reach over for the telephone. 'Petursson will not be at all pleased ...'
He leaned forward, his finger still stuck to the page. 'But he knows. He must know. Everyone in Iceland knows.'
I stood there holding the telephone, looking down at his burning face. �I don’t. Tell me.'
With a sigh he sat back, removed his glasses and rubbed the corners of his eyes with finger and thumb. In a quiet, relieved voice, he said: 'She is married.' Then he added: 'You knew, of course.'
I didn’t. But he'd led me .there by his own fear.
Solrun, married? Well, it wasn't so amazing, was it? What was amazing was that she hadn't told me. Neither had Hulda, come to think of it, when I'd stumbled upon the right question for once. And the little hamster here had nearly chewed his lips off with nerves when I'd asked. Yet it could hardly be a secret: everyone in the country must know.
'Why didn't you want me to know?'
He replaced his specs and looked at me unflinchingly through their smeared lenses. 'I must help you with your official inquiries but I think I must not give my personal opinions.'
Whatever it was he was defending, he was doing his best, and he wasn't a man who had been equipped by nature to stand up to Gestapo interrogation. I decided to leave him with his toenails on.
'In that case, officially, I'd like to see the official record of the official marriage.'
After a moment's thought, he blinked a couple of times and went back to his wall of files.