Read Black Lipstick Kisses Online
Authors: Monica Belle
âTake all the crap out and this would be wonderful, but it's very open. Was it never used, or did they clear stuff out?'
âIt was never used as such, I don't know why.'
He moved on across the floor, stopping at the wall in a pool of yellow light. I busied myself with the rest of the candles, melting the base of each and sticking them to the floor, in a pentagonal pattern from sheer force of habit. Michael spoke as I fixed the last in place, pointing as he did so.
âIf the tower rises there, Foyle's chapel must be there, and Sir Barnaby's tomb roughly here.'
âAbout a metre into the wall, yes.'
âOK. So if somebody had been buried in a niche it would be somewhere along here.'
He began to pull at the hardboard facings, which came away easily enough, but revealed only blank, unadorned brick underneath. I watched, hoping he might find something but fairly sure he wouldn't. I knew from early plans that the crypt had never been used, yet his idea did make sense.
There was nothing. By the time Michael had stripped three panels away a long face of brick wall was exposed, all of it absolutely solid. He began to inspect it, peering closely at the mortar and prodding it with a key, but to no avail. Finally he stood back.
âDamn! It made perfect sense. No, it does make perfect sense. Imagine your Satanist was a relative of someone perfectly respectable, maybe even Sir Barnaby. He'd have been an embarrassment to his family, and they'd have known that if they gave him a proper tomb it would become a magnet for every follower of the black arts from here to New Orleans. So they'd have stuck him down here, in holy ground, but safely out of the way. Unfortunately, unless he was actually interred during the construction of the church, that doesn't seem to be the case.'
âNo.'
I stood back hastily as Michael reached up for the sagging edge of the false ceiling. It hid only the curve of the arch, which would have been a bizarre place to make a niche, but he pulled anyway. The whole section came away with a snap, to send him sprawling and leave three of the original arches exposed, each with its central boss, a green man, his mouth flowing vine, a coiled snake and a goat's head. No, not a goat's head, the goat's head.
I HAD TO
know, and so did Michael. We spent the rest of the day in the crypt, heedless of the fact that he was supposed to be moving into his flat, or of anything else. For hours we were pulling at the rotten facings and the false ceiling, pausing only for water or coffee and for him to buy a paraffin lamp.
By mid-afternoon every single piece of facing and the whole ceiling had been torn down, fittings and all. We'd piled it into the middle of the crypt, exposing the walls and the ceiling. The walls yielded nothing, every one solid, plain brick with no evidence of openings made into them, no inscriptions, nothing. The ceiling was a different matter, or rather, the bosses were. Before I had only seen one, a star, but that, along with green men, snakes, assorted astrological and occult symbols and, of course, the goat's head, were each and every one of significance. There was no pattern, as such, beyond the twelve zodiac signs being arranged in sequence, and the only explanation we could come up with was that they had been meant to have specific rituals performed beneath them.
It was fascinating, but had done no more than whet our curiosity. We wanted to know who was responsible, and why. We wanted to know if the crypt had been left empty specifically to make space for the rituals to be performed. I, more than anything, wanted to know why the goat's head could have inspired such
strong emotions in me if there was no burial associated with it.
We paced the distances out, and discovered that the goat's head was beneath the pews about two metres to the side of where I'd masturbated in front of Sir Barnaby's tomb. Now I knew, I could feel it more strongly still, both in the crypt and above, more so above. Just standing there made my senses swim and my head fill with bizarre and dirty thoughts. Only the state of frantic energy I'd worked myself into prevented me from masturbating then and there, but I promised myself I would not delay the pleasure long.
Oddly, none of the other bosses had any effect on me at all, even those with supposedly powerful occult symbols. The nave followed the line of zodiac symbols in the crypt beneath, so that as people entered the church or a bride might have walked to her groom's side, she crossed each symbol. I had never noticed anything beyond the normal effect of the church before, and could not, despite several trials. The goat's head was like a hotspot of emotion, just as if it had been a tomb.
By the time it had begun to grow dark we felt we'd done everything we could. The crypt had been investigated from end to end, the floor above mapped out, the walls tested for hollow spaces. More tests were possible, such as running a metal detector over the floor, but we both felt the answer was more likely to come from research. The crypt had been built for a purpose, an occult purpose, and therefore those with responsibility for the construction of All Angels must have known. More than that, they must have been responsible.
The answer hit me as I sat among the packing cases
in Michael's new flat across the road. Suddenly it was clear, both who our Satanist was and why the goat's head gave me such strong emotions. Like any church, no one man had been responsible for the construction of All Angels, but the guiding hand had been its first priest. Michael was in the kitchen, spooning out a Chinese take-away onto plates, and I told him as I came in.
âOur Satanist was James O'Donnell.'
âThe priest?'
âYes. At least, he must have been a leading light among them. His name is on the deeds, letters discussing the commissioning of the rood screen with Foyle, all sorts. He could have directed the carvings in the crypt.
âWhat about Foyle?'
âHe was no Satanist, I'm sure, but if he could carve imps and green men, why not goats' heads and occult symbols? He'd have seen that sort of symbology as a warning of Satan's might. They were keen on that.'
âAnd you think James O'Donnell went the whole hog and switched to Satanism.'
âYes. Do you know about his heart?'
âHis heart?'
âYes, his body was taken back to Ireland, but his heart was buried here, under the floor. I've tried to find where it is lots of times, looking for physical things and trying to find a spot with a strong air of sanctity. I never could, and now I know why. What I should have been looking for was an air of the satanic. Which is exactly what we've found.'
âYou think his heart is in the goat's head?'
âWhere else?'
It made sense. Over the next few days Michael and I spent hours digging into the career of Father James O'Donnell. There was nothing overt, but plenty of circumstance. His rapid rise in the church had come to an abrupt halt when he had declined promotion from his post at All Angels. He had remained there for the rest of his life, with the same two curates. One of those curates had later broken away from the church and had ended his life as an Adeptus Minor in the Golden Dawn. O'Donnell had also been reprimanded for stressing the power of Satan in his sermons, and there was a letter to him from his bishop that contained a gentle hint on the fate of the Albigensians. By the look of things O'Donnell had gone far beyond the idea of a balance between God and Satan. The name of the other curate was Albert Dawes, so close to the Satanist in the Goat of Mendes it gave me pause for thought, only for Michael to laughingly dismiss it as coincidence.
There was evidence enough for me, and more than enough when coupled with my own experience. Father James O'Donnell, a priest respected by thousands, had held Satanic rituals in the crypt of All Angels, rituals involving not just Devil worship, but sex, even sodomy. It was a magnificent irony and a masterpiece of Gothicism.
If I had felt love for All Angels and everything it stood for before, now it was tenfold. It was a church, but also a temple to Satan, an expression of all the impossibilities and contradictions of church teaching, the clash of the beautiful and the macabre, the solemn piety and the talk of hellfire. It was me.
Now I understood the strength of my empathy for the place when my feelings for its parent religion were mixed to say the least. It was no shrine to pious
hypocrisy, but a place in which a full-scale Gothic nightmare had been played out. Michael was equally delighted, and immediately wanted to work the story up into a graphic novel, following the life of James O'Donnell from his original doubts to the burial of his heart in a carving of a goat's head. I was all for it, keen to help as best I could, by modelling for him.
I hadn't seen Stephen, despite a couple of phone calls. He was busy, either that or starting to get cold feet about our relationship. I was even wondering if the roses had not been an attempt to let me down gently rather than a genuine thank you when he called to ask if I'd like to come over in the evening. I was actually with Michael at the time, drinking coffee in his flat, which made it more than a little awkward for all his apparent acceptance. The only sensible choice seemed to be completely honest. I took the phone away from my mouth and turned to Michael.
âIt's Stephen. He wants to give me dinner, at his flat.'
The answer was immediate.
âWhy not invite him over here?'
âHere?'
âWhy not? He can take you out, and I'll see you later. Besides, I bought you a little treat this morning, something you rather seemed to want.'
I threw him a puzzled look as he leant back to delve into a black carrier bag on the floor. Puzzled, I told Stephen to hold, then my jaw dropped open as Michael pulled out a thick leather strap set with steel rings, and a monstrous black rubber phallus. He held it up, grinning, then put his finger to his lips. His intention was all too obvious, and spoke straight to my wicked side. I was trying not to giggle as I once more put the phone to my mouth.
âStephen, hi, sorry about that. Would you rather come over here?'
He put up a bit of resistance, but not much. Two minutes later I'd arranged for him to come over at six, take me to dinner and bring me back. I was grinning maniacally as I put the phone down.
âYou are so wicked, Michael! So, you like the idea of me buggering Stephen, do you?'
âIt rather appeals, yes. Your suggestion of having a man's virginity taken for the Goat of Mendes story turned me on to it.'
âOnly that?'
âWell, OK, so the idea appeals full stop.'
âWould you do the buggering?'
âI might. Why not?'
âNo reason. I'm glad you've the strength to admit you'd like to.'
He was grinning, and his eyebrows rose a little as he passed me the dildo. It was, if anything, more grotesque than the one he'd drawn in the illustration. The harness was like a pair of leather pants, with one strap to circle the waist and another to go between the legs. They met at the front in a ring, which accommodated the phallus itself. It was a jet-black rubber penis, obscene in the exaggeration of anatomical detail. The head was swollen and bulbous, the neck thick and taut above the rubbery mass of the rolled-back foreskin. The shaft was gnarled and criss-crossed with veins standing out like tree roots, the scrotum fat and wrinkled. It was big too, bigger than either Michael or Stephen.
âWell?'
âYou want me to fuck Stephen with it?'
âIf you like. Ideally I'd want to watch.'
âI don't think he'd go for that, not in front of another man, and it's pretty big. Where did you get it!?'
âIn a gay sex shop near Liverpool Street.'
âA gay sex shop?'
âSure, they have all the best stuff. And if you think that's big, you should see some of the butt plugs.'
He held both his fists together and gave a meaningful nod. Both my pussy and bottom hole twinged in instinctive reaction and I grimaced. Michael laughed.
âObviously it's for lesbians rather than gay men.'
âObviously.'
Just holding the thing was making me feel ever more wicked. I knew Stephen would love it too, remembering the state of wanton ecstasy I'd put him into with the candle. Michael, I was beginning to see, fancied himself as something of a Svengali figure, a motif he frequently used in his stories. Not that his heroines usually needed much persuasion, if any. I certainly didn't.
âOK, I'll see how it goes. Thanks, for this, and for being understanding. I'd better go over to wash and change.'
His response was an enigmatic little smile. I gave him a kiss and left, taking the dildo with me in my bag. Stephen wasn't due for quite a bit, but I wanted a leisurely wash and to choose my look carefully. Discovering about James O'Donnell had been something of a resolution for me, making me feel more confident and assertive. So had Michael's understanding of my gift, Stephen's ecstatic response to being sodornised by me, even having my piece on the gasometer played a part. I felt strong, and I wanted to reflect it in my look.
Stephen saw me as naïve, or he had. He liked me on
skates, in mini-skirts and crop-tops, in fishnets and no bra, preferably no knickers; anything sexy yet innocent. It made him want to spank me, which was not the result I was after. What I needed was a more refined look, Gothic of course, but not overstated, a long black dress, stockings and heels, my corset underneath.
I was halfway through when I changed my mind completely. It was much better to be just as cutesy as I possibly could, all bare flesh and giggles. I could tease him, let him think I was up for spanking, maybe even buggering, then turn the tables on him at the last minute. It was a much better idea, so I stripped off and started from scratch, no panties, no bra, a mini-skirt so short the slightest puff of wind was going to flash my bare bum to the whole world. I added a little silver bell in my tummy button, a crop-top tight enough and thin enough to leave my nipples poking up like a pair of acorns, my hair loose, no more than a touch of make-up, bare legs, rolled down socks and skates.