Black Listed (7 page)

A million expressions flashed over his face until only sadness remained. “There are some sins we commit that are too dark to ever see the light.”

“I get that. Boy, do I get that.” She sighed. “But do you honestly think if you told me about your sins, it would change how I look at you? How I feel about you?”

Especially since she carried the heavy weight of her own sins on her tarnished soul.

“If I confess my sins, they become real. And I'm not ready to accept them yet. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready.”

What terrible thing did Sawyer do to make him think he had to forgo his own happiness in honor of his parents?

And if he couldn't forgive himself for his sins, how could he ever forgive her?

B
LOWING ON HER
cup of hot coffee, Lisa stared at the computer screen in front of her, waiting for the feeling of normalcy to wrap her in its arms. Six hours in her office, and she hadn't accomplished a damn thing, still too shell-shocked over the last twenty-four hours. The soreness between her legs constantly reminded her of Sawyer. After she'd given him the list of people who had a reason to want her dead, he'd dropped her off at her office, telling her to call him when she was ready for him to pick her up.

She didn't like unpredictability. Her life was about staying in control and staying one step ahead of everyone else. She lived for the routine of the day and worked long hours so she didn't have time to think about all the horrible things she'd done in her past and all she'd lost.

She rubbed her temples, trying to focus on the numbers on the spreadsheets. She had to forget about any future with Sawyer. The sad truth was at the end of the week, she and Sawyer would go their separate ways. Permanently. There was no other option.

“Well, ain't you a sight for sore eyes,” came a voice from the doorway.

She froze, her coffee halfway to her lips. That familiar southern drawl sent her heart beating double time. It couldn't be. And yet it was.

He'd found her.

She took a deep breath and got to her feet. Then, slowly, as if she could make it all go away if she just didn't look, she turned toward him.

Her brother.

“Where's my hug?” he asked, holding his arms open and smiling like four years hadn't passed.

And maybe they hadn't. He hadn't changed at all. Still her handsome big brother with his dark eyes and olive skin, hair as black as the night sky. So different from her light complexion and her almost Nordic appearance. It was something she'd questioned constantly as the only fair person in the family. Her mother had always said she'd taken after her maternal grandmother, that she was special because her grandma had been one of the most successful grifters in the country back in the thirties. While the Great Depression had ravaged the country, she'd prospered off people's hunger and had skillfully conned hundreds of men into giving her their last penny to buy foreign bonds that promised to quadruple in value in six months.

Resembling a criminal who took advantage of the weak was nothing to be proud of, and yet, when her mother recounted the tales of her grandma, she felt as though she belonged.

Her parents were cold and calculating people. There were no hugs. No bedtime stories. No cute notes in her lunchbox during the times they had allowed her to attend school. The only time she received any affection was when she made them money. But it was never enough for them. Every dollar they brought in somehow disappeared within a few short months. She hadn't understood it until she grew older and followed them one night to a casino.

They were compulsive gamblers. It wasn't the money they sought from the con. It was the rush. The high. They kept just enough so they didn't starve and always had a roof over their heads. Millions of dollars were stolen and lives ruined because her parents had a gambling addiction they had no intention of ever overcoming.

One of her brothers, Mitch, had been the same way. He loved the thrill of a con and felt no remorse for taking others' hard-earned money. He'd also been cruel, often beating her black and blue for fun.

But the brother standing in front of her waiting for his hug had been her lifeline. He'd bandaged her knee after she'd fallen off her bike. Had made her dinner when her parents had forgotten to feed her. Had comforted her when she had nightmares.

Asa was the only reason she hadn't left her family sooner. He'd always made it better. Until he no longer could.

She eyed him warily, but she couldn't stay away any longer. She hurled herself into him and wrapped her arms around him. “I can't believe you're here,” she said shakily, suddenly realizing her entire body was trembling.

Her gaze jumped to her small bookshelf, where she kept her special copy of Charles Dickens's
A Tale of Two Cities
.

“I'm here. As soon as I saw your photo, I knew I had to see you. Let you know everything that's happened.”

She pulled back, suddenly both curious and cautious. “What's happened? Is Dad finally in prison where he belongs?”

A slow smile broke out on his face. “No. Even better.” He took her hand and squeezed. “He's dead. He ain't ever going to lay a hand on you again.”

She stood there, unable to say or do anything.

Her father was dead.

The man had made her life a living hell after her mother had died, his abuse escalating to the point that she thought he would actually kill her one night. Intense relief flooded her, filling her with a light buzzing sensation. Not that there weren't several other people who wanted her dead or behind bars. But knowing her father could never manipulate her into doing his bidding again brought tears of joy to her eyes.

“What happened?” she asked, gesturing to a chair as an invitation for him to sit.

Along with her desk, she had a small round glass table where she occasionally sat with clients.

He plopped down in the chair, slouching to the side and kicking out his long legs. He did a quick perusal of the room, and then he nodded as if impressed by what he saw. “Heart attack. He and Mitch were casing a building, and dear old Pops just keeled over and died. Mitch didn't find no pulse or nothing when he checked. He couldn't carry him back to the car, so he left him. Sure he was bagged and tagged as a John Doe. County probably cremated his ass. Fitting, right?” His lips curled in disgust. “Don't worry. He's burning in hell for his sins right now.”

She thought about Sawyer and his inability to forgive himself for his alleged sins. If there was no forgiveness for him, was she doomed as well?

“And what about us? Will we burn in hell for our sins?”

Her brother had the audacity to appear confused, as if he had no idea what she was talking about. “What sins do you think you've committed?”

“The same as all of us Hunts. Lying, stealing, cheating.”

Her past weighed heavily on her shoulders. There was no absolution for her. No going to church to confess her sins to the priest. No forgiveness from those she had transgressed against. No way to escape the guilt that plagued her day in and day out.

Asa leaned across the table and held her hands. “Do you regret it?”

“Yes,” she answered without hesitation. “That's not who I am anymore.”

“You were never one of us, Annie,” he said softly.

His old nickname for her brought back memories of all the times they'd snuck away from their parents to go fishing down by the creek or get ice cream cones in town. They'd spent days exploring every time they moved to a new city, riding their bikes through woods and taking long walks together. Unless they were given explicit permission from their parents to make friends, they only had each other for company. Usually the only friends they were allowed to have were the kids of the target, and it was difficult to let yourself become close with someone you'd eventually betray.

Until Sawyer, she'd always been able to stay detached from her marks. But she'd given him everything she had.

Except the truth.

And once again, it would tear them apart.

But was she truly different from her family? What differentiated them, when they'd all destroyed so many lives? Her guilt?

She leaned forward across the table. “Did you feel bad for lying to all those people?”

Asa's brows wrinkled, and his mouth pursed. “Not when we were kids. I thought it was a game. Without someone to teach me about right and wrong, I thought we were doing a job like everyone else. Rather than sitting behind a desk or saving lives as a doctor, this was how we made our money.”

Yes, that's what it was like for her as well. “What changed?”

He took her hand. “I heard your argument with Dad over that Hayes guy. Heard the ultimatum Dad gave you. I realized then what we did had real consequences. I mean, stealing money is one thing . . . but killing someone is another.”

Her throat tightened as she recalled that terrible day. “I didn't realize you were there.”

He pulled back his hand and drummed his fingers on the table. “I thought there'd be time to tell you I supported your decision and would try to change Dad's mind, but you left without saying good-bye. Got to tell you, I was pretty pissed off at you for a while.”

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—”

“Hell, yes you should have,” he said, surprising her. “You didn't do anything wrong, and I understand why you had to go without any strings. But I would have gone with you, Annie. You were the most important person in my life. Until recently, you were the only person I ever loved.”

“Until recently?”

He jutted his chin at the ring on his finger. “Married just over a year now. Got a daughter and one more kid on the way.”

“I'm an aunt?” Joy warmed her heart, but she had to admit, she was envious.

Would she ever have that?

“You are. Here's a picture of my wife, Thea, with my daughter.” He flipped open his wallet and retrieved a photograph of a perfect-looking family. A beautiful woman with long dark hair and a friendly smile sat on the steps of a house with a pudgy baby girl on her lap.

“She looks just like you. What's her name?”

His eyes twinkled. “Annie. I named her after you.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I'd really like to meet her and Thea one day.”

“Yeah. You'll have to come out to our farm and stay with us.”

Her jaw dropped. “I'm sorry. Did you just invite me to your farm?”

He nodded once, a huge smile on his face. “That's where I met Thea. I worked for her daddy. Knew the moment I saw her that I wanted to make her mine. That's why I stayed as far away from her as I could. Didn't think a man like me deserved a girl like her. Luckily, she did. Wore me down until I couldn't breathe without her. We've got our own house down the road from her parents.”

The envy spread, invading her entire chest. But she was happy for him. “You've got a real family.”

“I do. But that includes you. They've all heard all about you.”

“Do they know that we were . . . ?”
Con artists? Thieves? The children of psychopaths?

He nodded. “They do. Didn't tell them right away, of course,” he explained. “But before I married their daughter, I thought they deserved to know.”

“And they accepted it?”

Sitting back in his chair, he stretched out his long legs. “Can't say they weren't worried, but I'd been working for them for three years at that point and had never caused them a day's trouble.” He laughed. “I sing in the church choir, for Christ's sake. I told Thea before we”—he paused, gesturing with his hands—“you know. I put my faith in her hands and prayed that I'd find forgiveness in her arms. Shocked the hell out of her, but the love she had for me was stronger than the bonds of my past. Watching Thea with her parents and all her siblings, I learned that parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally.”

Their parents hadn't loved them unconditionally. If fact, she wasn't sure if they'd loved their children at all; they'd only seemed to love what their children could do for them.

She hadn't really understood love until she'd met Sawyer. But when her father had given her the order to kill him, she'd chosen to sacrifice her own happiness so that he could live. Even if it meant he fell in love with someone else.

Did he love her enough to sacrifice himself for her?

Either way, she hoped to never find out.

“And what about everyone else?” she asked. “Do you expect Thea to love you unconditionally? What if something from your past comes back to ruin it all? Will she stand by you or kick you out?”

He leaned across the table and took her hands again. “I can't speak for Thea, but if our situations were reversed, I'd support her. We can't change our pasts. We can't predict the future. It's how we live our lives each day that matters.”

“Well, isn't this cozy?” said Sawyer dryly, standing by the door.

What was he doing here? He wasn't supposed to pick her up until she called him.

She yanked her hands from Asa's and shot out of her chair. “Sawyer, this isn't what it looks like.”

He crossed his arms, anger radiating off him. Was he jealous?

“Let me guess. He's a client.” He continued, not giving her a chance to speak. “No? I'll try again. Brother.” He shook his head. “Not it?”

“Actually, he is,” she blurted. “My brother. This is Asa.” She dipped her head, gesturing to her brother. “Asa, Sawyer Hayes.”

Asa stood, his eyes narrowed into dark slits. “I know who he is.”

Sawyer shocked her by continuing to appear angry. In fact, if anything, he seemed angrier. She would've thought that once he knew Asa was her brother, he would've relaxed. But his jaw was clenched so tightly, she wouldn't be surprised if he broke a tooth.

“At least one of us knows the other,” Sawyer said. He shoved his hands in his pockets, something she suddenly realized he did whenever he felt vulnerable. “I thought you had no family. Of course, that was another one of your lies, wasn't it?”

She nodded. When they'd been together before, she had lied and told him she had no family. But once she left and until today, that lie had become her truth. “I have two older brothers. My mother died before I met you, and I just learned that my father died as well.”

Sawyer winced. “I'm sorry for your loss.”

“I'm not. He wasn't a good guy.”

He nodded, his shoulders no longer around his ears and his jaw relaxing. He told her with his eyes that their conversation wasn't over. “The crew finished up with your condo. I made sure to pay in cash and paid them to lose the paperwork, so that there's nothing tying you to the vandalism.”