Black Widow (14 page)

“I
have a dirty chai for Becca…” the male barista calls out.

“Watch this…” Becca winks at me before getting up. “Hi there…” she says to the barista as she reaches over the counter that he purposely put very close to him so she had to reach for it.

He grabs the drink, holding it hostage while giving her a sexy smirk. “Why is it you order a dirty chai and not just a chai latte with an add shot?” he asks.

“Because what’s the fun in that? As my friend over there says, ‘a dirty chai for a dirty girl.’”

“So you’re a dirty girl?” He pulls her a little closer over the table.

“You find my club and I’ll show you all kinds of dirty. Or maybe you’d have to show me.”

“Club? What do you mean by club?”

She grabs her drink from his hold, and as she walks away she looks over her shoulder, “I can’t tell you, it’s a secret. Too bad though, I can only imagine the noises you make when you cum.”

There’s a loud bang as the metal container that he uses to steam milk in hits the counter, spilling milk all over the floor. I’m laughing so hard I have tears running down my face. Poor guy. I don’t think he saw that coming.

Her smile is priceless as she sits down in front of me before taking a drink of her dirty chai and smiling from the delicious taste that permeates her mouth.

“I think you either made that guys day or ruined it. I’m not sure,” I smirk, hitting her arm.

“I definitely made it. Do you think any girl has ever said that to him? No. Maybe now he’ll think of me next time he jerks off.”

She looks his way, giving him a small smile and he winks back at her.

Yup, she made his day. I only dream of being like her some day. So free, so sure of herself.

“Why do you flirt like this though? Do you ever go out with these guys? Isn’t it against club rules?” I ask.

“I can go out with them I just can’t fuck them. Most of the time I wouldn’t want to though, I get all I need from the club. A normal fuck in a normal bed would probably bore me to death. I don’t know,” she looks back to the guy, “he looks like he could have some potential in that department.”

“Speaking of, someone asked me out last night.”

“Shut up! Are you kidding me? Details. Tell me everything.”

“At first I was shocked. I haven’t been asked out since… since,” I look down trying to hide the thought, “never mind, let’s just say it’s been awhile. He sent me a huge bouquet of white roses asking me to meet him in the lobby of our building.”

“Wait, he works in your building?”

“Yes, I first met him in the elevator. Actually, the day you gave me that make over was the first day I saw him.”

“See, I worked my magic and got you a date like that,” she snaps her fingers with pride.

“Yes, it was all because of you,” I smile.

“No, no, no, don’t mix things up. I just worked with what was already there. You are sexy as hell and don’t ever forget that.”

I smile sweetly at her before continuing, “So we met in my lobby and he took me to Rickhouse for drinks.”

“Oh cool!”

“Yeah, I thought so. Made me feel a little less out of my element with it being my first date in years and all. He was really sweet but kept dropping these weird comments or questions that were, I guess, a little sexual but just odd. Not really sure what they meant.”

“Like what?”

I sigh, “I don’t remember, it was nothing big that stood out, just odd is all.”

“Well, I’m sorry. Hopefully your next date will be better.”

I scrunch my fist into a ball, “No, if anything it just proved that I really don’t want anything with anyone. Like you, I think the club is all I need.”

“That’s my girl. So what else is new?”

“Oh yeah, I haven’t told you. I’m thinking of buying a new place and having it gutted and completely redone. I think it’s time that I move on from my place that I shared with Nick.”

“That’s cool. Where are you looking?”

“I found a few places not far from here but need to talk to some contractors first to get some bids. Funny thing is the guy last night actually recommended someone to me, a company called Babcock Construction.”

Becca chokes on her coffee and covers her mouth trying to clear her throat before she replies, “Um. Yeah, I think I’ve heard of them.”

“You have? Jeez, I must be out of the loop. This guy acted like I should know exactly who the owner is, some guy named Preston Babcock. I told him I didn’t know who he was. Do you?”

“Um, not sure but the name sounds familiar…” she says taking another drink of her dirty chai while looking at the barista again.

“Well, he highly recommended him so I think I’m going to give him a call, get a quote, see if what I want is even possible.”

Becca looks down at her phone to check the time, “Sorry babe, I’ve got to run, I have a 9 am appointment. I’ll see you tonight though right?”

“You know I’ll be coming!” I smile as I wink in reply.

“Ha! I love the way I’m rubbing off on you!” She gives me a hug as we both stand up, “Later, girl.”

As I walk into my work, Stefanie stands instantly, greedy for information about how my night went. “Oh, tell me, tell me, tell me. You know I have two little kids so the excitement from my life is gone. I have to live vicariously through you single people now.”

I laugh, “Believe me. Being single is not like it used to be. Everything seems more like a weird interview full of sexual innuendos.”

“Ugh, really?”

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t stay long. He was cute but things were just a little off. Sorry I don’t have better news for you.”

“It’s ok, here’s your mail,” she hands me a stack of envelopes before sitting back down at her desk.

“Thank you, Stef.,”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get to work,” she smirks.

Before I start my work for the day, I call Babcock Construction to make an appointment to go over my ideas. I’m bummed when I hear the owner is out and though they would love to meet with me, they are about a month out from starting any new projects due to time restraints. I make the appointment anyways figuring if I can’t find anyone good by then at least I have a backup plan.

Ever since I met Becca many things that used to be important to me but I completely pushed out of my life have started to come back, and I’m wondering if I should, for the first time in years, play some music while I work.

Music used to be a huge part of my life both before and during my time with Nick. We would go to any concert we could get tickets to and music constantly filled our home. We both were never big with the television so music played any time we were there. The DJ at our wedding had the easiest job ever because I gave him the exact playlist I wanted played. Every song that Nick and I would dance to or sing in the car had to be played.

After his death, every song reminded me of him. No matter what the genre, what the lyrics were or if it was fast or slow, I would find something there that would crush my soul even more. So eventually I turned it all off and learned to live my life in silence.

But like everything in my life now, I’m trying to change my
anymores
into
yes I wills
.

I look around my office and wonder if there is a radio around here that I can borrow. Pressing my intercom to Stefanie I ask, “Hey Stef, is there a radio around here I can borrow?”

“A radio? For what?” she asks, completely confused by my question.

“Um, to listen to music. Why else would anyone want a radio?”

She laughs even harder, “You have your computer, don’t you have a Pandora station set up?”

“A what?”

Her laughter gets harder and I’m starting to feel stupid that I have no idea what she’s talking about. “I’ll be right there.”

I’m shocked at how much the music world has changed in just the past five years with technology. Stefanie showed me how I can stream music straight through my computer and now I’m trying to think of which band I should play as my station.

My taste in music has always been eclectic and really just depended on my mood. I used to listen to pop, country and classic rock but my favorite was modern rock with my favorite band being Three Days Grace. Adam Gontier’s voice did things to me that should be illegal.

My heart warms at the thought of his voice as I click their station and
Lost In You
plays bringing back memories of Nick singing this song to me. The thought still hurts but, thankfully, seems more manageable now. His voice still has the same affect on me as I sit back in my chair, closing my eyes and singing the lyrics like I just listened to them yesterday, not five years ago.

Warm thoughts fill my body as the thought of finally having myself back settles in. I’m more than thankful and know that I have Becca to thank.

My workday flies by with the help of Pandora and the Three Days Grace channel. I’ve found some new bands and liked as many songs as I could. I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve probably spent more time researching bands than I did actually working today. I was shocked when I learned that Adam Gontier left Three Days Grace but thankfully started a new band, Saint Asonia, so of course I had to listen to their songs as well.

Deciding to call it quits for the day, I shut off my computer and head to Becca’s to get ready for the night. I’m not sure what to think because I’ve never been on a Thursday and tonight is more of the swinger’s night.

Thankfully, Becca’s place is not far from mine and both are close to our work so I don’t have to go far. I hop in my black BMW and head to Russian Hill and her place on Hyde Street.

“Hey girl!” she greets me with a big hug as I walk through the door.

“Yum, it smells good in here,” I reply after smelling the garlic and onion radiating from her kitchen.

“Good! I made us dinner. I hope you’re hungry.” She has an apron on and walks to the stove stirring whatever she has on the stove.

“Well aren’t you Miss Suzie Homemaker. I didn’t think people actually cooked in the City, just always ate out. At least that’s what I always do.”

“Well, now you don’t. It’s not healthy to eat out all the time. And I love to cook so you’ll have to join me for dinner more often.”

“You got a deal. Can I help in anyway?”

She gives me a snide look, “I thought you said you don’t cook.”

“Oh believe me, I can ruin boiling water. I guess I meant, can I run to the store to get us a bottle of wine?” I laugh.

“Already done,” she winks as she hands me a glass and pours the grapes from the gods filling it to the top.

“Cheers,” I say holding up the glass before taking a sip that instantly warms my body and lightens my soul.

“Ah, guess what?” Becca asks as she puts the spoon down and does her little girl excitement bounce.

“What?”

“I went shopping today and bought you something!”

“Oh Becca, no, you shouldn’t have,” I say shaking my head no, both because she doesn’t need to be buying me anything and also because I’m a little scared at what she bought.

“Oh stop, look…” she says as she pulls out a black dress that I’m afraid to look at because I know no matter what, I’ll be wearing it tonight.

After taking a big gulp of my wine, I walk toward her and get my first glimpse of what’s in store for me. To my surprise, I’m actually in love with what she bought.

“Becca, I, I love it. It’s perfect!” I say as I run my fingers down the black lace arms. It’s a short dress that has a tight waist and tulle under the dress to make it more girly. It’s not super sexy but it’s totally me. The new me.

I give her a big hug, “Thank you so much!”

“No prob girl. We’re going shopping this weekend and getting you a whole new wardrobe as well, just so you know,” she winks as she walks back to the kitchen.

“I can’t thank you enough. You’ve helped me in so many ways and I feel like I can’t do anything for you in return.”

“Oh stop. You have done a ton for me as well. I’ve never really had a friend that I wanted to share this lifestyle with. It’s a blast for me that I have someone to go with and to talk about sex with. Everyone is so stuffy on the subject and I’ve never found another female that I wanted to be friends with so I should be thanking you. I knew you were different than the others.”