Blackwood Farm (47 page)

“ ‘I know one thing,' Mona announced, quite suddenly. ‘When it comes my time to die, I don't want it to be at Mayfair Medical. I still cherish my dream of going out like Ophelia, on a boat of flowers in a softly running stream.'

“ ‘I don't think it works very well,' said Michael. ‘I think the flowers and the floating part of it are wonderful, but then comes the drowning and it's not so peaceful at all.'

“ ‘Well, then, I'll settle for a bed of flowers,' she said. ‘But there has to be a lot of them, you know, and no tubes and needles and bottles of morphine and such things as that. I can imagine the water as long as I'm on a bed of flowers. And there are no doctors around.'

“ ‘I promise,' said Michael.

“Dr. Rowan said nothing.

“It was an extraordinary moment. I was horrified. But I didn't dare to speak.

“ ‘Come on, everybody, I'm so sorry I made it glum,' said Mona. ‘Quinn, let me cheer you up. Have you ever read
Hamlet
? Will you read it to me sometime at Mayfair Medical?'

“ ‘I'd love to,' I responded.

“We had all seen Kenneth Branagh's landmark film of
Hamlet
and we'd loved it, and of course I knew the Ophelia underwater scene so very well. It had been a still shot after Gertrude's long description, all of it beautifully done, due to the fact that Branagh is a genius, we all agreed. I wanted to tell them all about Fr. Kevin's warning about speaking to ghosts, based on what happened to Hamlet, but I wasn't sure how I felt about it so I let it slide.

“The remainder of the evening was marvelous. We talked of so many things. Michael Curry loved books, the way that my old teacher Lynelle had loved them, and he thought it was fabulous that I had a new teacher in Nash Penfield, and he thought it perfectly fine that I had never gone to school.

“Rowan agreed wholeheartedly that I had probably missed nothing, that except for a certain margin of affluent American kids who occupy a tiny portion of the classes in ultrafine schools, ‘organized educational experience' was more painful and unprofitable than anything else.

“Stirling Oliver thought it incredibly wonderful that I was getting such an intense education, wondering aloud what it would be like if so many others could have the same benefits. As for Tommy, whom I described to everyone, everyone believed that he and his brothers and sisters should be given ‘every chance.' It wasn't playing God to show them another world.

“I was very surprised by all this, and in a very real way I did not want to go home. I wanted to live in this house with Michael and Rowan and Mona forever. I wanted to know Stirling forever. But in another way, I couldn't wait to go home. I couldn't wait to be ‘me' again, because I had been so strongly accepted. I wanted to tell Nash and Aunt Queen about it. I wanted to set about my studies with Nash. I wanted to set up my visits with Mona. I wanted once more to postpone my trip abroad.

“Now as to that—postponing my trip—Michael had a suggestion. Why not go for a couple of weeks? ‘One can see a lot of Europe in that time,' he told me. ‘And if you have to choose one country then let me suggest either England or Italy. Either one will send you back transformed.'

“Everybody seemed to think it was a good idea. Stirling and Rowan also suggested Italy. I had to admit it was a good idea. It would quiet Aunt Queen's desires for me for a little while and Mona would be waiting, she vowed, to hear of all my adventures when I returned.

“Meantime, Clem had come for me, and though the conversation was moving along fiercely, with Michael describing his own visit to Italy, I knew it was time to go.

“Besides, I was really getting drunk.

“On the front porch I took Mona in my arms, vowing to call her the next day and get the times during which she would let me visit with her at Mayfair Medical.

“ ‘I spend my life there, egregious and beautiful boy,' she said. ‘Pick a time, any time.'

“ ‘When do your spirits flag?'

“ ‘Four o'clock. I'm so tired of it. I begin to cry.'

“ ‘I'll come at two and stay with you as long as you allow.'

“ ‘That will be till six,' she said. ‘Then we have dinner in the Grand Luminière Café.'

“ ‘You can dismiss me then or have my attendance, as you wish. I come with no strings attached.'

“ ‘You really do love me, don't you?'

“ ‘Passionately and undyingly.'

“Our final kisses were long and lingering, and drunkenly sweet.

“Then Michael Curry saw me to the gate, which did need a key to unlock it.

“He took me in his arms. He held me tight, and he kissed me, European-style, on each cheek. ‘You're a good boy, Quinn,' he said.

“ ‘Thank you, Michael,' I said. ‘I really adore her.'

“As soon as Goblin and I were securely in the back of the limousine I burst into tears.

“On and on we drove, and I couldn't stop crying. And as we crossed the black waters of Lake Pontchartrain, Goblin put his arms around me and he said in his low voice, rather like Ariel in
The Tempest,
‘I'm sorry, Quinn; if I were human, I would cry too.' ”

32

“IT HAD BEEN
some time since Aunt Queen had held Full Court in her bedroom, or boudoir, as we called it on such occasions, but when I entered the house I was informed by an exquisitely dressed Jasmine—read slinky black cocktail dress and murderous high heels—that this was a special night.

“She was entertaining Nash, of course, because the two were getting on far better than Aunt Queen had ever dreamed, but also a visitor had arrived with gifts of stunning cameos such as Aunt Queen had never beheld. Jasmine threw in a bit of mockery with a roll of her eyes and a lift of her eyebrows. ‘All carved out of jewels,' she said.

“I was solemnly requested to go upstairs, freshen up, put on my best black Italian suit with handmade English shirt and Church's shoes and come down to meet the bearer of the stunning gifts. Since I was already pretty much dressed this didn't involve much inconvenience.

“As to the courtly life, I welcomed the distraction. The liquor I'd drunk had worn off and left me electrified with love and concern for Mona, and I could not possibly have fallen asleep. The night seemed my enemy, with my frightened Goblin no doubt hovering near, and I wanted the lights and cheerful conversation of Aunt Queen's room.

“ ‘Come, Goblin,' I said, ‘let's do this together. We've been apart too much lately, you know it. Come with me.'

“ ‘Evil, Quinn,' he responded, with a sad face, which surprised me. Evil in Aunt Queen's room? But he was dressed as I was, down to the hand-stitching of his collar and the lacquer of his shoe leather, and he came with me down the stairs. I felt his right hand in my left. I felt a gentle pressure, and then I felt his soft lips against my cheek.

“ ‘I love you, Quinn,' he said.

“ ‘And I love you, Goblin,' I replied.

“All this was very unexpected, as was the invitation to visit with Aunt Queen. I hoped the night would continue to give me wonderful things. I hoped I wouldn't have to crash suddenly amid the knowledge that Mona was seriously sick and that she might not survive her illness, that that was exactly what she and her family had been trying to tell me all during the lively dinner, and Rowan Mayfair's one outbreak of pessimism had been a sharp admission of the truth.

“What had Mona said, ‘blinking out like a dim bulb.'

“All was light and laughter in Blackwood Manor. A group of the guests were at the piano in the double parlor, and in the dining room yet another little group played cards.

“I passed all this with a cheerful smile and a wave and headed for the back bedroom, finding the door ajar and pushing it wide slowly to announce my presence to the convivial group inside.

“They made a circle, the company, with Aunt Queen in her glory, clothed in one of her priceless feathered white negligees, with a wide white ribbon and a glorious cameo on her bare throat. Her high heels were as always much in evidence, and right opposite her sat Nash, in black tie for the occasion, who stood up as I entered as if I merited such a thing, when I did not.

“Cindy, the nurse, was there in her crisp white uniform and she rose too, to deposit kisses on my cheek, which made me very happy.

“And then I saw, in full clarity, the guest of honor, the generous bringer of fine cameos, the newcomer to Blackwood Manor, who sat at the very opposite of me and did not rise and had no reason to rise as our eyes met.

“At first I simply could not identify what I saw. I knew but I did not know. I understood but I did not understand. All was abundantly clear. Nothing was clear at all. Then very gradually my mind absorbed the details, and do let me record them here so as to brand them into your mind, so as to make them plain to you as they came to be plain to me.

“That this was the mysterious stranger I had no doubt. I knew the shape of the head. I knew the shape and cut of the shoulders. I knew the high square forehead with its beautifully rounded temples, and the black eyebrows and the large black eyes. I knew the long mouth and the smile. I even knew the long black hair.

“But it wasn't tied back now, this hair. No, it was a wealth of gorgeous waves and curls, tumbled down over the stranger's shoulders. And it was perfectly obvious from the taut cut of the mysterious stranger's black satin vest that the mysterious stranger had large full breasts. But the rest of the black tie ensemble of dinner jacket and trousers indicated a man's body, and indeed the mysterious stranger, despite having glowing skin and rouged lips, was about six feet tall and did have a rather firm jaw.

“Was this a man? Was this a woman? I had no idea.

“And whatever it was, it sat there—sideways on the chair, with its right arm on the high back and its long legs comfortably in front of it and its left hand in its lap—challenging me with its silence, with its sly smile, as Aunt Queen reached for that slack hand, saying:

“ ‘Quinn darling, come here and meet Petronia. She's brought me the most exquisite cameos, and she made them herself.'

“Shock. Heart-pounding shock. Fury and delirium combined in me as never before.

“ ‘The pleasure's all mine, Petronia,' I said. I felt all the liquor I'd drunk rising in me again. ‘But you are very beautiful, let me be so bold as to tell you. Having seen you twice or thrice by moonlight, before this moment, I could only guess.'

“ ‘How generous of you,' she answered me, and I heard exactly the voice I'd heard in my ear last night, hushed and soft. Of course it was female. Or was it? ‘And you, just come from your red-haired vixen,' she went on. ‘One would have expected to find you quite blinded by her light.'

“ ‘She's not a vixen in any sense,' I declared, my face burning. ‘But don't let me be wearisome defending her. It's a pleasure that you and I are now properly introduced.'

“She turned, laughing under her breath to Aunt Queen.

“ ‘He is quite the versatile gentleman,' she said. She looked back at me, the eyes flashing. ‘I rather thought I would like you if we came to really know each other. And do stop trying to determine if I am a man or a woman. The fact is I'm a good part both and therefore neither one. I was just explaining to your Aunt Queen. I was born endowed with the finest traits of both sexes and I drift this way and that as I choose.'

“Nash had brought a chair for me to join the circle. Jasmine had poured the champagne in my tulip glass. I sat down across from this spectacle, this creature, and I felt Goblin take hold of my shoulder.

“ ‘Caution, Quinn,' he said to me. And well he might because I was dangerously feverish of mind and soul and once again drunk. I was appalled by what was happening and monstrously exhilarated.

“I saw the mysterious stranger's eyes shoot to my left where Goblin stood, but she could not see Goblin. She only knew that Goblin was there.

“ ‘So you think of me as a woman,' she said to me now. ‘Forgive me for reading your mind, it's a trait I can't seem to keep in harness. Once one is blessed with such a gift it runs rampant.'

“ ‘Really,' said Aunt Queen, ‘you mean it's quite spontaneous? You simply hear people's thoughts.'

“ ‘Some people more than others,' she said. ‘Quinn's thoughts come rather glaringly clear to me. And what a brilliant young man you are.'

“ ‘So people tell me,' I said. ‘And how is it that the mausoleum on Sugar Devil Island bears your name?'

“ ‘It's the name of Petronia's great-great-grandmother, Quinn,' said Aunt Queen, obviously trying to take the sharp edge off my foray into the conversation. ‘We've been talking about this very person, and about the subject of reincarnation. Petronia is a great believer in it, and that it happens over and over in her family, and of a time in ancient Pompeii, she has strange dreams.'

“A terrible sense of foreboding came over me.
Ancient Pompeii.

“Goblin was squeezing my hand. The mysterious stranger was looking at me, and I could have sworn I saw Mount Vesuvius above the city as it roared and belched its fatal cloud Heavenward, pitching the city into panic far below. People ran screaming through the narrow streets. The earth moved. The cloud covered the sky.
I saw it.
Petronia was staring at me. We were there and we were here. Aunt Queen was talking. The rain of ash became a torrent.

“I was dizzy. Yes, dizzy, the fatal symptom.

“ ‘What are your strange dreams of ancient Pompeii?' asked Nash in his wonderful deep voice.

“ ‘Oh, they're truly tragic,' came her low voice in response. ‘I see myself a slave girl in those times, a worker of cameos, the chief among a shop of such craftsmen, and my master has warned us all of the coming eruption, and I run through the streets trying to warn the citizens. Get out of the city. The mountain will bring disaster. But they don't believe. They don't heed.'

“I could see it as she spoke. I could see her, with her long full black hair, yet in a male's tunic, running through the narrow stone streets, banging on doors, grabbing people by the shoulders. ‘Get out, get out now. The mountain's erupting. It will destroy the city. There's no time left.'

“I could see the buildings close around her, a little city of plastered walls, and she such a curious tall monstrous beauty. And no one listening. And finally, she took the slaves from their workbench. No. I didn't just see it. I was there!

“Into sacks they put the cameos. ‘No time for that!' she said. ‘Run!' We were all of us—slaves, free men, women screaming, children—running towards the shore. The roar of the mountain was monstrous and deafening. I saw the black cloud spread out over the sky. The day vanished. The night descended. We had climbed into a boat, and we were rowed out fast over the choppy waters of the bay. Crowded boats surrounded us. Again came the voice of the mountain. And then the flicker of fire in the darkness. Pompeii was soon to die.

“She sat in the boat. I was with her. She was crying. Huge rocks were rolling down the mountain. People were running from the huge rocks. Chaos on the heaving shores. The earth shook beneath those who tried to flee in their chariots. She wouldn't stop sobbing. The other cameo makers looked back in pure fascination. The rain of ash came down upon the city, upon the water. The waters of the bay were black. Boats were rocking. Boats were capsizing. The rowers went faster. We were moving out of the zone of danger. We were crossing the bay to safety. But the horror hovered over us. The mountain bellowed and spewed its deadly poisons. In the boat I held her trembling hand. She sobbed, she sobbed for those who wouldn't listen, who wouldn't run when she told them; she sobbed for the lost cameos, the lost treasures. She sobbed for the city fast disappearing in an evil mist of ashes and smoke.

“ ‘I'm not there!' I told myself. I tried to move my lips and speak aloud, tried to push against this vision, tried to come back from it, tried to know where I was, yet I didn't want to leave her sobbing in the boat, and all around were the other boats and people wailing and crying and shouting and pointing. My eyes were burning. And the night covered the day, as if forever, and without hope.

“Then came the electric shock of Goblin's hand. He had slipped his fingers into my left hand as he so often did, and I opened my eyes. I looked at her, and I saw her and heard her low voice running on like a low brook as she spoke to Aunt Queen.

“ ‘These strange dreams,' she said, ‘they lead me to believe I once lived there, knew the people, suffered, died. I was as I am now, part male, part female; I loved nothing so much as making cameos. I was committed to it with a fascination that was total. I don't know how those who have no fascination live.'

“My heart beat wildly inside of me, but I couldn't shake the dizziness. I looked at Nash. I saw that his eyes were filmed over. Even Aunt Queen appeared dazed and wide-eyed as she stared at this being, this tall big-breasted creature with her raiment of long black hair.

“I shuddered. I would shake off this languor, this spell. I wouldn't be imprisoned by it, no. I did the most impulsive thing. I reached out, with Goblin's hand tucked over mine, and I motioned to clasp the hand of Petronia, and she, seeing this, accepted my hand and then pulled her hand back sharply, as sharply as if she'd been stung by a bee, all from Goblin's touch.

“I heard Goblin's secret laughter. ‘Evil, Quinn,' he said to me. ‘Evil!'

“Petronia's eyes searched for him but couldn't see him.

“I glanced at Goblin and saw him fully realized and saw him afraid. And then he said to me words that explained everything and nothing.

“ ‘Not alive.'

“What I had felt was even more baffling—a spirit thing like Goblin, electric, powerful, ready to form a current through Goblin to me. I couldn't grasp the principles of it really. But it was supercharged and terrifying. And the rage came back to me. How dare this being play with me? How dare he play with us all?

“Meantime, her voice was moving on in a hushed manner: ‘And so I took up the art of making them because I loved them, and knowing of your love, I had to bring these few to you to keep with your others. It's been a long time since I visited the island, and of course the story came down to me of how my great-great-grandmother had wanted to be buried there, though it never did come to pass.'

“ ‘No, it never did, did it?' I said. ‘And last night you caught me outside in a choke hold and you told me what you wanted done with the Hermitage, didn't you? And before that, you broke into my very room and dragged me from my bed!'

“I stood up, comfortably towering over her, as she looked up at me, smiling.

“ ‘I saw you dump those bodies,' I said. ‘I know you did it. And you come here to be received by the person dearest to me in all the world!'

“ ‘Quinn, darling,' cried Aunt Queen, ‘have you lost your mind!'

“ ‘Aunt Queen, this is the very person! I tell you this is the mysterious stranger. This is the one!'