Blame It on the Shame (Blame It on the Shame: Lou-Lou and Ricardo's Story #1) (6 page)

He knew I was too scared of the dark because of my past, even though he promised me time and time again that no one would ever hurt me while I was here.

Even still, I never truly felt safe―no matter where I was.

And with the way Bruno was acting right now, I had a whole different reason to worry tonight.

I took another step forward but his gritty voice halted me. “I'm going to ask you one question, Lucianna. And I expect the truth.”

“Of course.”

He spun around in his chair.

“Do you love me?”

I looked around the room, purposely avoiding his gaze. “No, love is for the weak.”

He nodded but his jaw ticked, indicating that he didn't care for my answer after all.

“Fine,” I admitted nervously. “I think―I'm not sure.” I took a step back. “Okay,
yes
. God, I do. But don't worry, Bruno. It will go away. I'll get a handle on it. Please don't kick me out.”

He exhaled sharply and met my gaze. “I don't want it to go away.” He stood up and walked over to me. “I don't want
you
to go away.”

I stared at him in a combination of disbelief and elation. “You mean you―”

He put a finger over my lips. “Don't, Lucianna,” he warned. “Don't ruin it.”

My heart grew stronger and weaker as his hands cupped my face and he leaned down. I closed my eyes and tilted my face up.

“I'm
not
going to kiss you.”

My eyes popped open. “Oh, I thought―”

“I don't kiss and I'm not going to be gentle with you.” He lifted the hem of my nightgown up. “But I know if there's one woman in the world who can handle me, it's you.”

He brought my nightgown up over my head and studied me.

“You lack the usual curves I like to see on a woman,” he noted. I closed my eyes, embarrassed as he cupped one of my breasts. “Your tits aren't nearly as big as I thought they'd be. Perhaps I'll buy you a decent pair for your next birthday.”

His comments stung but I wouldn't let him know how deeply they affected me. I opened my eyes. “You're an asshole!”

I took a step back and turned on my heels. “You don't deserve to have
any
part of me if you can't appreciate me.”

His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling my back flush against his front. “That may be true,” he whispered, as he pulled my underwear down. “But I'll damn well take what's mine anyway.”

“And if I say no?”

He laughed low and rough in my ear. “We both know you won't. Besides, you owe me this, bambina. We both know this is the only thing of value you have left.” He licked the shell of my ear. “Just like we both know it was me who saved you.”

I tried to pull away but he tightened his grip on my hips and spread my thighs.

“That's what I like about you, Lucianna. You're so brave and strong,” he rasped in my ear. “So fierce. Hell, you're stronger than most men out there. You're a pure fighter.”

He kissed my neck and his fingers found their way inside me. “You're unbreakable and that's what makes you so beautiful.”

My heart hammered in my chest as he bent me over the bed and kissed down my spine. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, my body at odds with itself.

I heard the sound of his zipper lowering and felt the head of his cock at my entrance as I fought for air. I opened my mouth to tell him that I needed a moment in order to process what was happening, given it was my first time and all, but his voice cut me off.

“This will hurt,” was my only warning before he pushed himself inside me in one single hard thrust.

I screamed out in pain and clutched the bedspread for dear life as he began thrusting inside me even harder. “Stop, it's too much.”

He tugged on my hair until my head fell back against him. “You're strong. You can take it, bambina. I know you can.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to push whatever weakness I had far away.

The pain didn't let up, it only magnified each time he slammed into me.

I reached behind me and touched his face. “Please, mio amore. Please be more gentle. For
me
, Bruno.”

He felt for my hand and held it firmly in his large one, the force of his thrusts slowing down to something much more bearable.

My heart squeezed because I knew what that meant.

No one had the power to deter Bruno DeLuca. No one had the power to make him stop doing anything.

No one but
me
.

Bruno might not ever say it, but I knew he loved me.

His big body shuddered before he grunted his release.

Then he swept me in his arms and positioned me on the bed, my head falling against the pillow.

“Don't move.”

I couldn't even if I wanted to, my entire body was so sore I felt like I'd run a 20-mile marathon.

A few moments later he came out of the adjacent bathroom with a washcloth.

“You're bleeding all over my bedspread,” he said.

I pursed my lips. “Gee, I wonder why
that
is.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled and his lips twitched. “Because you're mine now.”

“For how long?”

His gaze traveled over my still naked body. “Forever.”

That's when it hit me. “Bruno, you didn't use any protection. What if―”

“Good,” he said. He brought the washcloth between my thighs. “My son still has another 5 years left on his contract. I'm counting on the fact that he won't make it out alive.”

I gasped but he clicked his tongue at me. “I don't give a fuck what you think about that, Lucianna. Your feelings on the matter are irreverent. He agreed to the deal, he knew the stakes.”

I leaned against the headboard. “You only did this so you could get me pregnant, didn't you?”

He shook his head and reached for my hand. “No. That's not why. But, it would please me all the same.”

“What if I never get pregnant with your child, Bruno? Will you get rid of me?”

He put the washcloth down and kissed my hand. “That's the thing, Bambina. I'm afraid it matters very little to me in the long run whether that happens or not. I'm perfectly content to have
you
by my side for the rest of my life.”

I propped myself up on my elbows. “Because you love me?”

He didn't answer, instead, he closed his eyes. “You know my thoughts when it comes to that. However, there are exceptions to every rule.”

“You won't
ever
tell me you love me. Will you?”

“No.”

“It's because I'm the one person who makes you feel vulnerable, isn't it?”

He opened his eyes and they narrowed. “Yes.”

Well, hell that was just as good as a declaration of love as far as I was concerned.

Bruno DeLuca was never vulnerable.

I tilted my face to try and kiss him once again but his hand wrapped around my throat. “But don't you ever forget who holds the power in this relationship, understood?”

I couldn't respond because he was cutting off my air supply.

“The day you do is the day I make you wish you were dead and I show you what I'm capable of doing to you. Got it?”

I nodded and he finally released his hold on me. “Answer me.”

“Yes,” I choked out.

“Yes,
what
?”

“Yes, mio amore.”

He smiled and nuzzled my neck. “Good. Now you may sleep.” He kissed my cheek and I closed my eyes. “I'll never let anyone hurt you again. You're mine forever, my beautiful Lucianna.”

I stormed into the room where Bruno was holding a meeting with his men.

I couldn't believe he would do
this
to me.

I'd been good to him for the last 3 years since I gave him my virginity. I fucked him when he wanted, kept every single one of his secrets, and loved him deeply without abandon.

And still, he was doing
this
.

The men in suits looked uncomfortable when they saw me coming but Bruno paid me no mind.

I marched through the wooden doors of his conference room with my hands on my hips. “How could you?” I screamed.

He rubbed his temples and leaned back in his chair. “Can't you see that I'm busy? I don't have time for your shit.”

I stood over the conference table and jabbed my finger into the wood. “Make time, now.”

The men stared at me wide-eyed but I steeled myself and lifted my nose in the air.

Bruno's jaw worked and he looked me up and down.

No doubt, he was pissed at the fact that his almost 21-year-old girlfriend was not only interrupting a crucial meeting, but making him look like a downright fool in front of his men.

Had the matter not been so important to me, I would have known better.

“No. Not now!” he barked as he stood up and crossed his arms over his chest.

I matched his stance. “Yes now,” I hissed. “Or I will walk right out that fucking door and never look back, you shit head.”

Some of the men gasped but I ignored them.

His eyes became tiny slits and his nostrils flared. Now I'd done it.

I was playing with fire, but I welcomed it.

“Everyone out!” he boomed. “With the exception of the little
bitch
standing in front of me.”

The men quickly dispersed and closed the door behind them.

Bruno advanced toward me and bent me over the conference table.

“What the hell are you doing?” I screamed as he began lifting my dress up.

“Checking out the set of balls you acquired between last night and this morning.”

He then tore my dress off me but I didn't care, I needed to confront him about this. “My father's running for Mayor. I just saw it on the news. How could you do that to me? How could you help
him
?”

His grip tightened around me. “
That's
what all this is about?”

“Yes,” I said. “You
betrayed
me!”

A cruel smile spread across his face. “I didn't
betray
you, Lucianna. Your father has kept up with his end of the deal for the last 6 years.”

“So?”

He forced my legs apart and I slammed the table with my palm. “Stop. You don't have permission to do this to me, not until you explain yourself.”

His teeth scraped my back. “You really think I give a fuck?”

My stomach dropped. “No.”

“Smartest thing that's come out of your stupid mouth since you walked in here.”

He grabbed my hair and entered me in one swift motion.

“How could you help
him,
Bruno?” My voice cracked with that statement.

“Just because he's running doesn't mean he's going to win,” Bruno informed me.

“I don't understand.”

“
Stupid
girl,” he taunted before he grunted and slammed into me again. “I only promised your father that he would
run
for Mayor. I never promised him the win. I wouldn't do that to you. Trust me, I have something up my sleeve.”

His hand wrapped around my throat. “And I would have explained that to you had you not come walking in here like
you
owned the goddamned place. Like you were some form of authority over
me
.”

The hand around my throat tightened. “Did you forget who holds all the cards in this relationship,
Puttana
?”

I couldn't answer him because I was too busy gasping for air.

I didn't regret much in my life but I was definitely regretting the decision to confront him.

He pulled out of me just as quickly as he entered me. I knew he wasn't finished yet, so I didn't understand what was going on.