Blame It on Your Heart (5 page)

As long as he was here by her side, she knew she'd always have someone at her back, ever ready to catch her when she fell.

"Here we are," he said giving her hand a little squeeze before he released it to shift gears and park the truck next to the remains of the old building.

Ellie hopped out, smiling in anticipation as she watched Damon retrieve a thick sleeping bag from the truck bed. He might have a serious matter to discuss, but she had a pretty good idea how they would spend most of the next three hours before her eleven o'clock curfew.

As he spread the sleeping bag Ellie marveled as she always did at the sheer beauty of this spot, the way the glow of the sunset hit the jagged mountaintops, turning the cold granite gray into fiery shades of orange and pink. She'd loved the mountains from the time she was a little girl, when her mother would bring her and Molly here when their father was deployed and the loneliness of whatever army base they were living on became too much to bear.

It had been six years since Adele had left her husband and moved back here for good, and Ellie was still in awe of these mountains.

And of this spot in particular, she mused, her heart catching like it had the first time Damon had showed it to her, right after he got his driver's license. "Someday, El, I'm going to save up enough money to buy this land and build a house for us."

Someday, she thought with a shiver of happiness. To most people it would sound like the pipe dreams of kids too young to know what they were doing. But she knew Damon meant every word. Just as she knew there was no future for her without him in it.

Someday… it was getting closer, with Damon graduated and off to MSU this fall, and her in her senior year. Her heart clenched at the thought of being apart from him, but Bozeman was only an hour away, and she'd be following him there the following fall.

She would survive it, she told herself, even as the thought made her eyes burn with tears.

Stop dwelling on it
, she scolded herself.
You can't spend the whole summer moping about him leaving
.

"Come here," he said in that low, raspy voice she so loved, reaching out a big broad hand to beckon her down next to him.

Eagerly she sank down next to him on the sleeping bag and curved her hand around his neck to pull his mouth down to hers. Within seconds she was on her back, his weight resting heavily on her. Heat pulsed through her as his hand slid under the hem of her tank top, rough against the smooth skin of her belly.

Then higher to cup her breast, the heat of his hand so intense she wondered that it didn't vaporize the thin satin of her bra.

She let out a soft moan as he brushed his thumb across her nipple, sending shocks of need to her very core. His mouth moved over her cheeks, down her neck, sucking at the spot under her ear that he knew would drive her crazy. Wetness pooled between her legs, and she knew she was ready for him. But Damon wasn't finished, kissing, caressing, licking, exploring, building her need to a fever pitch.

Ellie's best friend, Laura, complained that as soon as she'd started having sex with her boyfriend Jack, that was all he wanted to do. To the point where she was lucky to get a few kisses and a boob squeeze before Jack was shoving a knee between their legs and pushing his way in.

Damon was different, Ellie had said, barely able to suppress a smug grin. From the very first time, with him as new at this and as nervous as she was, he'd never treated her with anything but patience and care. Taking his time, taking it slow to make sure she enjoyed every single moment.

Sometimes a little too slow, she thought now, rocking her hips impatiently under him. Sometimes, like now, when all it took was the taste of his mouth on hers and the feel of his hands on her bare skin to make her crave the feel of him inside her, she wished he would just roll her to her back and take her like she knew he wanted to.

"Please, Damon," she said, urging him along. "I want you now."

"Are you sure?" he said, his breath coming in short bursts. "I don't want to hurt you. I want to make sure you're ready."

"I am ready," she said, breathless as she took his hand and dragged it pointedly between her legs. With her skirt bunched up around her waist, the only barrier between his fingers and her was the flimsy stretch lace of her panties.

With one tug of his fingers even that was gone. They groaned in unison as he gently stroked her wet heat.

"Please,” she said again. “I'm ready."

Within seconds they were both naked, the late spring air washing over their skin. "I love you," Damon murmured against her lips as he slowly pushed himself inside of her.

"I love you too," Ellie whispered. Her breath caught in her throat, and she let out a little cry of pleasure.

He froze. "Shit, did I hurt you?"

"No," she said with a breathy laugh. She rocked her hips to take him deeper, loving the way his own breath caught, the deep groan that strained from his chest. "You never hurt me." At least, not since the first few times when her body struggled to accommodate his size. "You could never hurt me."

###

"I didn't mean for that to happen."

She felt the vibration of his rumbling voice from where her head rested contentedly on his chest, her body pleasantly exhausted and pulsing with the aftershocks of pleasure. "Bull," she said, propping herself up on her elbows so she could meet his gaze in the fading light. "Since when in the past two years have you gotten me alone without the intention of separating me from my panties?" Not that she was any better.

"Fair enough," he said, white teeth flashing in the twilight. "I just didn't mean for it to happen first. I was hoping it would be part of the celebration after."

"After what?"

He leaned up and kissed her, then gently pushed her aside and reached for the jeans that had been discarded in a heap next to the sleeping bag. He pulled something from the pocket and said, "After I gave you this."

Ellie's skin went hot, then cold, when she saw the velvet box resting on his broad palm. Her heart beat so loud she could barely hear herself as she sputtered, "Damon, is that, is that what, what I think it is?"

Wordlessly he flipped open the box. Ellie gasped, her hand flying to cover her parted lips as she saw the shiny silver band with a sparkly stone set in the middle. "Oh my God, is that real?"

He let out a huff. "Of course it's real," he said, sounding slightly wounded. "You think I'd buy you something that small and have it not be real?"

"It's small, but it sure is sparkly," she breathed, shell-shocked as she tried to absorb what was happening.

"So you'll wear it?'

Ellie dragged her eyes back to Damon's, her heart clutching in her chest as she met his gaze, all full of hope, apprehension, and most of all love. For her.

"Of course I will," she said, eyes stinging with happy tears as she held out her left hand and let him slide the narrow band down her ring finger. "It fits perfectly," she said, holding her hand out to admire the way the gold contrasted with her spring tan. "But I thought we were going to wait a couple years to do this."

"Don't you want to marry me?"

"Of course I want to marry you! You know I do. It's just, you know our parents will freak out."

Her mother's words rang in her head.
Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. Be independent. Life changes once you tie your future to someone else's, no matter how much you love him.

It did no good to remind her mother that Damon was different, that he knew there was no way Ellie was going to put up with being a military wife and mother, moving every couple of years from one base to another.

Damon shrugged. "I'm not saying we have to get married right away—you still need to graduate. But if we know we're going to do it, why not let everybody know how serious we are."

Ellie gave a watery laugh. "I can't believe you're proposing to me when I'm naked," she said as she wound her arms around his neck.

"It wasn't what I planned, I swear," he said cupping her cheek, holding her in place for his kiss.

When he finally lifted his mouth from hers, she let out a sigh. "We're going to have to make up something to tell our kids when they ask."

"We're going to have to make up something for my mom. Once she gets over the shock, she's going to want all the details."

The wind kicked up, making her shiver. "My mom is going to freak out," she said, reaching for her clothes as Damon did the same. "She's already trying to talk me out of going to Bozeman next year. I swear I could kill Mrs. Harper for putting the idea of me going to art school in her head. I never should have volunteered to illustrate that stupid short story collection." As part of their English program this year, students had been encouraged to submit short stories to a volume published by the high school English department.

When Mrs. Harper, Ellie's guidance counselor, had seen the drawings Ellie had submitted to accompany the text, she'd gotten it into her head that Ellie needed to attend a school with a competitive fine arts program, like Rhode Island School of Design or School of Art Chicago. With her grades, Mrs. Harper enthusiastically informed Ellie's mother, Ellie was likely to qualify for an academic scholarship.

Ellie's explanation that she had her mind made up about college, that she had no interest in leaving the state of Montana, fell on deaf ears. "I don't understand you," her mother opined. "On the one hand there's nothing you won't try, no crazy risk you won't take. But when it comes to one of the most important decisions of your life, you won't even consider doing something different."

"I've already made the most important decision of my life," Ellie had shot back. "I've chosen the person I want to spend it with."

"You know I love Damon, and nothing would make me happier than for the two of you to end up together. But I still think you should get out of Montana for a while, see what a different part of the country is like. If you and Damon are meant to be together, you'll end up there eventually."

They were meant to be together, Ellie thought as she settled against him on the sleeping bag, her stomach fluttering with happiness.

"I also wanted to make sure you know how committed I am to you," Damon said after a few seconds. He shifted so he could look into her eyes. "You know how much I love you, and how much I want to be with you."

"Yes," Ellie said, nodding slowly. The too serious look in his eyes was making her uneasy. "And you know how much I love you. I've never even thought about being with anyone else."

"Good, that's good," he said as he took her hands in his, his grip just a little bit too tight. "I hope it will help you understand what I'm about to tell you."

Ellie smiled, her skin prickling with nerves. "You're starting to freak me out. You're not going to tell me anything horrible, like you've got cancer or that you cheated on me with Amy Simpson on one of the away basketball games?"

His head jerked back and he gave a little laugh. "No, of course not, nothing like that. What I need to tell you is that I put my application on hold for Bozeman this fall."

"Oh," she said, her brow furrowing in confusion. If that was all, why was he making such a big deal? "I get it, you probably need to stay and help your dad until his back is a hundred percent. And this way we'll be on the same schedule and can graduate together." She squeezed his hands and flashed him a delighted smile. "It will be great."

Unlike hers, his face was set in grave lines. "I'm not staying in Big Timber for another year," he said tightly. "I'm joining the army."

She snatched her hands from his. "You're joining the army," she said slowly, praying she'd misheard him.

"Yes."

Her blood went hot, then freezing cold at his reply. "No you're not," she said, and pushed to her feet. "I know your dad is a vet and Deck is some kind of Special Forces badass who wants you to follow in the family tradition, but we talked about this. You can't do it."

"You don't understand," he said, his voice tight. "With the football scholarship not coming through, even with in state tuition it's too much for my parents. And they still have Dylan to think about."

Ellie snorted at the mention of Damon's wild hell-raiser of a younger brother. "Dylan's lucky he doesn't have to repeat his sophomore year. I wouldn't worry about his college prospects."

Damon's lips tightened at the dig. As close as she and Damon were, he didn't like anyone—not even her—pointing out his brother's shortcomings.

She pushed aside the pang of guilt and bit back an apology. She didn't care if she came off like a bitch. She needed to convince him that this was a horrible idea. It would ruin everything.

"You can get a job in Bozeman. Lots of people do. I'm planning to."

He shook his head, making the knot in her stomach twist tighter. "All I have to do is two years active duty and four more in the reserves in the army, and I can qualify for the GI bill. This will be better for us. We won't have any debt, I'll be able to totally focus on my studies and get a good job out of college."

"What about me? I'm supposed to go to Bozeman alone, just waiting for you to come back?"

"You'll be able to visit-"