BLAMELESS: MC Biker Romance (Black Thorns, #3) (29 page)

That’s about the only thing he
has
bothered telling me for the last week, or so. Ever since our awkward conversation in his office where he’d asked me to move in with him and I’d said I’d think about it, he’s been really weird with me. Distanced. Really off. He’s even taken Ax or Smiter with him to his therapy sessions, instead of me.

At first I thought it was because he’d discovered what
I
had a few days ago. But then I realized I was just being paranoid, because I’d hidden the evidence really well. There’s no way he could know.

Oh my God. I still can’t believe it.

It’s come at a really bad time. I really hadn’t expected it at all. I’d wanted time to clear my head, to take some time to think over Zeb asking me to move here. But now…this secret has complicated everything. And with him being so standoffish lately, there hasn’t been a good time to tell him. I have no idea how he’s going to react. My reaction was absolute shock, so I can’t imagine what his will be. Moving in is a huge enough step as it is and
this
…this is way beyond even that.

“Well? Are you guys having trouble, or something?” Rox presses me.

“I don’t really know. He’s been acting all distant and quiet lately.”

“Quiet? That doesn’t sound like him. Runner usually can’t keep his mouth shut. Did something happen between you guys?”

“He asked me to move in with him.”

“What?” she basically screeches. “Holy fuck!”

“Shh,” I tell her, slapping her arm.

“Ow!” she cries. “That was really hard.”

I laugh. “Well, I had a good fight teacher. Your husband.”

“Yeah, looks like he taught you a little too well. But stop changing the subject.” She shifts in her seat to look at me straight on. “I can’t believe it. I can’t wrap my head around Runner asking you to move in with him. This is a huge deal for him, Sarah.”

“I know, but—”

“Oh, shit. There was a “
but”
involved?”

“Yeah. I kind of told him I needed to think about it first.”

She grimaces. “Shit.”

“I just…I’m worried, you know?”

“Because of what happened with Eddie?”

“Yeah. Zeb wants me to close my diner, sell my house and move here with him. On
his
turf.”

She nods. “I get it. But Runner’s not Eddie. Not at all.”

“It’s not about that. It’s about me. I’m stronger now. I don’t want to lose that.”

“I understand. I had a similar situation with Ax.”

“Well, how did you get past it?”

She shrugs. “I took a leap of faith.”

“Oh.” I was hoping for another answer that didn’t involve so much risk.

“I realized he was worth it and that I didn’t want my life to be without him.”

Before she can say more, Ax walks over with Zeb following after him. He comes to a stop by her chair and leans down and kisses her. Not just a peck on the cheek, but a wild kiss, full of passion.

Zeb eyes me and flashes me that half-smile again. He looks as awkward as I feel, watching our friends make out and just one step away from needing to get a room, while we’re barely even able to look at each other right now.

When Ax finally pulls back, he offers Rox his hand and tells her, “Need you now, babe. My office.”

She flashes him a sly grin and then tells me. “Sorry. He needs me.”

“Yeah, needs your pussy,” Zeb comments.

Ax flashes him a warning look.

“Don’t make it that fucking obvious then. What you expecting with me ‘round, huh?”

“Point taken,” Rox cuts in. Before Ax can get into it with Zeb, she tugs on his arm and pulls him away, telling him, “Come on, baby.
I
need you now, too. You look so sexy working that grill.”

She shrieks as he sweeps her up in his arms and carries her away with him towards the clubhouse.

Zeb rolls his eyes and then he shifts his weight awkwardly and tells me, “Sorry ‘bout what I said then. That
pussy
comment. They were just pissing me off, doing that shit ‘round us when they know we ain’t…as good as they are right now.”

“I’m glad you said it, or I was going to have to.”

He laughs a little.

But then the awkwardness is back.

Oh God.

I can’t take it. And he’s doing that invasive staring thing of his.

I scramble to my feet and tell him hastily, “I…uh…need the bathroom.” I point to my empty glass resting on the arm of my chair. “Too many lemonades.”

I hurry away before he has a chance to say anything else.

Phew.

I make it across the yard and back into the clubhouse.

I start down the corridor. No one’s around. I stop and slump against the wall, blowing out a breath. I need to fix this situation with Zeb somehow. I’m just not sure what to do. He put himself out there by asking me to move in and I shut him down, telling him I needed to think it over. So, he’s hurt then? That’s why he’s barely been communicating with me and keeping out of my way as much as he can? Or, was Ben right and this is him trying to blow me off? Has he had enough of me? If that was the case, why wouldn’t he just kick me out of his apartment? Urgh. I don’t know.

“Told you.”

I jerk my head towards the sound of the voice coming from the left side of the corridor.

My stomach lurches as I see that it’s Ben making his way towards me. Oh crap.

“Stay away from me.”

“You should be the one staying away. You don’t belong here. Belong back in Brockford.”

“Why do you care so much about my relationship with Zeb?” What is his play here?

“You don’t need to know. All you do need to know is you ain’t for him. Can’t keep pretending you are. He’s already blowing you off now, ain’t he?”

“Shut up and stay away.”

I move to brush past him to make my way to the bathroom at the end of the corridor.

But he shocks me then by slamming his hands into my shoulders and pushing me back against the wall. I grunt as my back jars against it painfully.

He steps into me and gets in my face. “I can make you listen, if you want it that way. Bet you like it rough, don’t you? Heard all ‘bout you and Runner in the garage. I’ll show you what rough
really
is.”

I can’t even think about fighting back, or any of my training. All I can think about is what I need to protect now. It changes everything.

He fists his hand in my hair and jerks it back roughly making me cry out.

“You hearing me now, sweet thing?”

“Don’t! Don’t touch me!” I scream out, losing control of myself.

He smirks slyly. “You ain’t in no position to be barking orders at me.”

“Don’t! Pregnant! I’m pregnant!”

“What the fucking hell?”

Oh my God. It’s Zeb.

Before I can even turn my head in his direction, Ben’s slammed into from the side and tackled across the waist into the opposite wall. He grunts as he’s smashed into it.

I back up out of the way and see that Zeb is complete irate.

“What the fuck you doing touching my woman?” he thunders at Ben.

“Just talking.”

“Talking ain’t laying your goddamn hands on her!”

He smashes his fist into his face, then his gut. “You don’t fucking touch my girl! You got me, motherfucker? Nobody lays a hand on her! Nobody! I’m gonna
kill
you!”

“Zeb! Stop!” I scream as I watch him beat on Ben, slugging him across the face again, his gut, until he’s on his knees, spitting up blood and groaning in pain.

“Zeb! Please stop!”

His gaze snaps to mine. His eyes are on fire with rage. But, as he looks at me, I see him start to come down from it. He gives Ben a kick and then hurries over to me.

“You okay, darlin’?”

I nod and choke out, “Fine. I’m fine.”

“Let me see, yeah?” he says, gently. He looks my shoulders over, where Ben slammed me against the wall. “Gonna bruise a bit, Sarah.”

I shrug. “Bruises aren’t anything new to me, Zeb. They’re the least of my worries.”

He steps back from me and slams his fist into the corridor wall, roaring, “Don’t want no marks on you! Nothing! Promised you’d be safe with me! Fuck!”

“It’s all right, Zeb. It’s all right.”

He spins then and goes to approach Ben again. “That’s it. I’m gonna kill him.”

“No! Zeb, please! Please, don’t.”

He stops short at my words.

He shakes his head, his back to me. And then he turns and his face is clouded with pain. “Supposed to protect you. You’re my girl.”

“Please. Forget about him.
I
need you.”

His eyes drop to my belly and he starts walking back to me slowly, like he’s in some sort of trance. When he reaches me, he stops in front of me and holds out a shaking hand to my belly. I’m not sure if he’s shaking from the adrenaline of the fight, from rage, or from the shock of what he just heard me blurt out moments ago.

He presses his hand gently to my belly. The look in his eyes is intense as he croaks out, “It true? What you said to him?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

He draws in a deep breath. “Fucking hell.”

“I know.”

“How long you known for?”

“Just a few days.”

“Shit,” he mutters, scrubbing his hand over his face.

“I’m sorry.”

He frowns. “Sorry?”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I know, darlin’. You’re on the pill. I see you take it every day.”

“So, how is this possible then?”

He smiles kindly and tells me, “Nothing’s one hundred percent, Sarah. And we weren’t really helping the odds. Never once used a condom. And
that’s
on me.”

“I don’t want you to feel responsible. I’ve…got this.”

“Responsible? It’s
my
kid in you.”

“I know, but you didn’t ask for this.”

“So?”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s happened either way.”

“But…you’re done with me, aren’t you? You’ve been blowing me off. And I don’t want someone with me just because I’m pregnant with their child. I want it to be because they want to be with me.”

“Jesus Christ. You’re one tough nut to crack, you know that? You got so many hang ups. You’re so insecure, cuz of your past with that asshole before me. I were just tryin’ to give you space, woman. You said you needed to think on us moving in, yeah? So, I were tryin’ to make it easier, by keeping outta your way. Weren’t easy neither. Hate not being ‘round you. You got no idea how much restraint I had to use just to keep up with it.”

“Oh, I thought—”

“That’s your problem. You spend too much time thinking shit. Assuming stuff. Always the worst, too. I get it. I do. Gonna be some fallout after the messed up shit you went through with Torvin. But I ain’t him. He ain’t here now.
I
am. Just me. I’m here to make you happy, not to take nothing from you. Not to screw with your head. I love this more confident, ballsy version of you. And us moving in together ain’t gonna take that from you, darlin’. Gonna do anything I can to make it come out more. To help you, like you’ve helped me.”

I spot movement behind him. “Zeb, I—”

He holds up his hand. “Wait, I ain’t done. Another thing you gotta hear first. I
love
you, Sarah. Love being with you. The way you make me laugh. The way you bring the light back into my life. The way you make me feel like I can be a good man and that I can get through all this getting clean pain again. The way you’re so selfless and you’re just there, without me even having to say the words.” He winks at me then and goes on, “The way we fuck. You got no idea what you do to me. When you ain’t ‘round, I’m thinking ‘bout you every goddamn second ‘til I see you again. The idea of you going back to Brockford and being so far away from me is making me sick, Sarah. Don’t want you to go. Want you here with me. Forever. Cuz you’re it for me now. Ain’t no other. There’s just you. The girl I never saw coming, but the girl I can’t imagine being without no more.”

He steps into me and cups my face in his hands. “I. Love. You. You hear me?”

I grin at him, completely shell-shocked by his amazing, heartfelt speech.

“Now…what were
you
gonna say?”

I point behind him.

He cranes his neck to see what I noticed when he’d first started his speech.

Ax, Grit, Smiter, Mullet and several more of the boys are all gathered down the corridor, eyeing us with amusement.

“Shit,” Zeb mutters. He turns back to me and buries his face in my shoulder. “Shit,” he mutters again, his voice muffled against me.

The boys start hollering, whistling and clapping.