Bless The Beauty (5 page)

Then, he placed his finger in his mouth.

What man would allow their woman to go off and experience life without them?

Vampires weren’t known to be kind in nature. They were territorial and fiercely so. But as I racked my brain, the answer became clear—only a good man would allow such a thing. I gulped deeply, sickened. “I don’t deserve you.”

The night I left, he was heartbroken and I knew walking away from something good was selfish, but at the time, I chose not to care. Now here he was, arms wide open and welcomed me back without any explanation.

He rubbed another tear away from my cheek. “It is not important who deserves whom; it’s that we are bound. My life is yours as yours is mine.”

Okay, all that made sense, but that didn’t change the fact of how I felt right now. “I have been stupid.”

“You have never been that.” He gave me a chastising look, but softened when he said, “But now you know.”

I sniffed. “Know what?”

“Where you belong—where you’ve always belonged.”

A smile rose to my face at the truth of those words and leaned forward, but before I met his mouth, said, “Yes, I know.” After a slow endearing kiss, I backed away to see that Kellen looked pleased and content. I laughed and sniffed away the rest of my shame.

“You happy to finally hear that?”

His smile vanished as he nodded firmly. “Let me make this clear, I gave you leave once so you could discover this in your own time.” He grasped my face with an equal firmness. “I will not allow it again.”

I gulped deeply at the pain in his eyes. It cost him a lot to allow me to do this. He wasn’t lying.

One thing about Kellen was that his word was honorable. He never wavered away from it, and right now, I wanted nothing more than to be locked in his arms forever.

Here was where my heart belonged.

I kissed his lips once more deeply just so I could confirm to him that I knew my place—to show him my sorrow for the pain I’d caused him. Then, I slowly backed away and needed to remind him I was here to do a job.

“We have to get back.” My team would be waiting to get into the case and they’d be annoyed that we were taking our sweet-ass time. Even more than that, I could only imagine what Chase was thinking.

Chase.

I sighed and willed the tears to stay away. What a jumbled emotional mess I was in.

A state I’d never been in and one I could live without.

Kellen laughed as he placed me on my seat. “Yes, we have a serial killer to have a little chat with.”

I reached down, grabbed my bra and clipped it into place. As I reached for my shirt, I gave him a speculative glance. “You find that funny?”

Kellen nodded without hesitation. “Quite. You have the ability to kill a human, but instead, you’re saving their lives.” He winked. “It’s amusing.”

Finishing up with the last button on my shirt, I snorted. “Feels a hell of a lot better to save someone than see them destroyed.” It was hard to believe how much vampires had evolved.

Two hundred years ago, they killed for the pleasure of it. Now, they lived peacefully among the mortals. Considering the act of feeding on them gave the mortal enhanced pleasure during sex, they came willingly. Times had changed and I was glad for it. The killing never did sit right with me, even if I was a natural born killer.

I picked up my jacket and swore softly. I never went without my coat on the job and the implication would be obvious. Chase would know what happened. Not that I’d keep the truth from him, he’d been lied to enough. If he asked me outright, I’d tell him what happened here. I threw the shreds that were once my jacket into the backseat and grabbed my pants from the floor of the car. Lifting my hips, I pulled them on and zipped them up.

“So tell me, what you have been doing over the years?”

“Watching you.”

My hands steadied on the button as I turned my speculative glare on Kellen.

“Watching me?”

“I have stayed with you the entire time,” he answered, completely unashamed. “You think I would have left you alone?”

Why I suspected otherwise was just stupid on my part. Instead of voice that, I moved along. “So you have been living in Washington then?”

Kellen nodded, then started the car. “I have been working for Slade.” When he saw my next question rise on my face, he continued. “A shield.”

It took a moment to process what he had just said. Maybe because I couldn’t believe it. “You’ve joined the Mistresses?”

In vampire society, Mistresses’ vampires had many who worked beneath them. It was far more serious than what I did with the mortal governments and it wasn’t a job that appealed to me in any regard. You did a bad job or fucked up—you died.

Kellen had finished buttoning up his shirt, then started the car and began to drive out from around the rundown garage. “Mistress Ellery was pleased to have me join her guard.”

This should not surprise me to hear, but it did. Kellen had once held a role within the Mistresses’

guard and hunted those who defied their laws. But he had moved on, tired of the death. Why would he return? None of this made any sense. “And you are happy doing that?”

He laughed loudly, clearly at my surprise. “Once a shield, always a shield.” He gave a firm nod of his head. “It feels good to be back to what I’m good at and I needed to keep myself busy in the time you were gone.”

After a moment’s thought, I suddenly realized just how great this was. If Kellen had joined Mistress Ellery’s guard that meant he had taken an oath to her. It also meant we wouldn’t leave any time soon. He wasn’t going to make me leave my job. I could continue doing what I loved and that made me blissfully happy. Feeling all warm and fuzzy, I felt the need to reciprocate that feeling. “You were always the best you know.”

He was highly respected within vampire society. His warrior skills were impeccable and I had always been proud of that.

Kellen grinned with superiority as he made a turn back on the main road. “Still am.”

A classic Kellen answer. “I see the arrogance about you hasn’t changed.”

“You know you’ve missed it.” He winked playfully.

I could only smile in return. I had missed him but until now hadn’t realized just how much. Being beside him, having his hand rest on my thigh, was right in every way.

But I also knew I needed the time to accept this. Accept that I needed him—couldn’t be without him. He’d been right in what he’d said to me the night I left him.

“We are soul bound, take this time, but you will return to my side and be happy to be
there.”

Kellen made my life worth living. I might pretend to have moved on, and not need him, but it was all an illusion. We belonged together. However, realizing all this left an empty space in my heart.

Where did Chase fit into this? I needed—wanted to keep him forever.

Only one question remained…did he want to keep me?

Twenty minutes later, we were back at the station and had just entered the room viewing the interrogation of Chad McKinney. Chase stood with his arms crossed. Oh yes, the glare on his face said he knew exactly what had taken place between Kellen and me.

Guilt roared through me and left me confused. One part of me was utterly thrilled to reunite with Kellen, while the other was horrified at what I’d done.

Not only had I cheated sexually, but emotionally as well. However, the truth of the matter was, he either had to accept that Kellen was back in my life or our relationship would be over.

My heart told me this relationship was heading toward the garbage disposal. The thought of not being held by Chase, not see his smile or feel his love, crippled me.

Kellen stepped up next to me, his sigh heavy before he closed the door with a loud slam then locked it. The move forced Mike and Nick to look his way. The second they did, he said, “Go to sleep now.”

A second later, both men fell to the floor, dead to the world. It was just the thing to snap me out of my sadness. I shot my gaze back to Kellen. “What the hell did you do that for?”

Kellen nodded outward with a knowing look. “We must deal with this. I’m not going to stand by to see you in this much pain. Sort it out now.”

Knowing exactly what he meant, I looked back to the person I needed to sort things out with.

When I met his gaze, I’d never seen him so angry. His entire body was tense and the veins in his arms looked a moment away from bursting.

Chase seemed shocked, or traumatized, one of the two. He finally snapped out of wherever he had gone and glared at Kellen. “You fucking killed them?”

Kellen shook his head as he looked down at the men on the floor. “No, they are sleeping,” he waved out, “have a look for yourself.”

Chase rushed over to Mike, flipped him over and placed his fingers on his neck to check for a pulse. A moment later, he stood. The rage still burned in his eyes, but at least he looked a little more controlled now.

I understood why Kellen had done it. Yes, Chase and I had to talk, and I was actually glad it’d been forced upon me. I doubted I would’ve known what to do otherwise. But I never mind-warped my team, ever!

My glare was quick and steadied on Kellen. “I do not use mind control unless I have to, Kellen.

Do not ever do that again, do you understand me?”

Kellen’s brows furrowed, clearly displeased with me. “You have denied your abilities too long, Hadley.” He shook his head in a disgusted manner. “What a waste.”

I’d stood up to this man many times before and his angry face still did nothing except piss me off more. “Promise me you won’t do that again.”

Kellen studied me intently. Irritation ran through those dark eyes of his. The annoyance said that he realized just how mortal I’d become. Maybe it was the first time he grasped how much I had changed. I could tell by the unhappiness on his face, he didn’t approve of the woman I’d become in this regard. I never doubted he would. He was a vampire, loved it and lived it. Conforming to mortal rules was definitely beneath him, but this wasn’t his life, it was mine.

That determination must have showed on my face because he eventually sighed and inclined his head in acknowledgement.

Resolved, I glanced back at Chase who stood, the glare on his face even worse now.

Just as I knew Kellen, I knew Chase equally so. He was loyal, honest, everything that were qualities of a person good. I doubted he’d forgive me from keeping such secrets from him, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try. If I was going to lose him, which I suspected, I needed to do it with a clear conscience. I needed to know that at least I tried to explain my actions.

I sucked in a deep breath before I steadied myself. “Chase…”

Chase raised a hand to stop me and my mouth shut promptly. “Do not say a fucking word to me.” Fury radiated in his tone and his voice dropped a whole octave.

Okay, so I expected this reaction. But it didn’t mean this wasn’t painful to watch.

Chase was a closed off type of guy. So serious, he only let a few people into his personal space. I had now become one of the people he kept out. Pain coursed through my heart.

“Please just listen to what I have to say,” I pleaded, desperate for him to hear me out.

“I just want to explain myself.”

Chase took a deep breath through his nose. His jaw clenched tightly. “You don’t deserve to be heard.”

Kellen snorted. “Say that again, bloke, and I’ll stuff that pretty head of yours up your arse.”

Chase’s body vibrated with anger.

I stepped in between them, not wanting a fight to break out. This wasn’t about them fighting, but about making my peace. My bottom lip quivered, but I forced myself to stay strong. I would not fall to pieces here. I was in the wrong and deserved his wrath. I owed him that.

“Okay, I deserve that.” I acknowledged his feelings in hopes that it would calm him.

“You have a right to hate me.”

“Damn right I do.” Chase tore his gaze from Kellen and focused on me. “You’re fucking married and never said a word about it.” He raised his hand and pointed at Kellen. “This bugger comes in, kisses you and you go all mushy in his arms. Then, you return with him and reek of sex. I see the blush of your cheeks that only comes after you’ve fucked. So, tell me, Hadley.” His voice was so cold. “Why should I listen to one word that comes out of your mouth?”

I glanced at Kellen who simply looked annoyed by the conversation. He wouldn’t ever understand. He’d just mind-warp Chase and leave it at that. That wasn’t an option for me. My relationship with Chase was real. I wanted it to stay that way.

I looked back at Chase, pleading. “I’m not going to deny that Kellen and I have been together and I won’t lie that he has returned to be with me again.” Chase’s eyes burned with such rage, it was a surprise his head hadn’t blown off. Quickly, I added, “But it’s not what you’re thinking, I’m not breaking up with you for him. You just don’t understand vampires.”

Chase gave a firm nod. “Yeah, ’cause I am fucking not one of you.”

“I know that,” I whispered. “But that’s what I’m trying to explain to you. We’re not monogamous.”

Chase snorted a laugh that was in no way a happy sound. “That’s clear, isn’t it?

Since the vamp isn’t at all put off that you’ve been fucking someone else while married to him.”

The term he’d just used broke my heart. “We haven’t just been
fucking
…we’re in love…”

Chase’s gaze would kill me if able to and the look forced me not to continue. “Do not even fucking go there, Hadley.”

My mouth clamped shut. I didn’t know what to do. To me, it was normal to be married and have a mortal lover. Of course, it was almost unheard of for a vampire to be in love with one. Consorts were treated with great respect and thought highly of. But to be loved? It just never happened. Truthfully, I hadn’t been looking for love, nor expecting it. Just like the fairytales say, Chase just rode into my life and swept me off my feet.

I glanced to Kellen, feeling lost and confused. What was I to say? I’m sorry. I wouldn’t dare say something like that. I would never say I was sorry I hurt him. He deserved so much more than that. What I wanted was for him to accept this and forgive me on his own accord.