Bless the Child (43 page)

She stood in the manner of priestesses, hands raised before her, and then made her obeisance, frightened and vulnerable, as if Tehuiti held the final measurement of her life in his great scales. All hubris had dropped from her beneath the Eternal gaze, for it was Truth incarnate. Her soul trembled before the Mother for the scales had fallen from her eyes and she knew, then, how gravely she had sinned.

“Sin is in the heart-thought as well as in the act,”
the Goddess thundered. “You agreed to give to Karaden, what you had promised me. I will not be mocked!”

Mim might have argued with a human judge, for her rationalizations still held fast within her, but not with Her, for rationalization is not Truth.

“You have stolen my Amulet for personal gain . . .”

By my life, Great Goddess I had not thought of it as that!
she wanted to cry out, and cringe before Her awesome wrath and beg forgiveness, but she was a priestess, and to do so would have dishonored the Divine Mother.

The Goddess knew all that transpired in the girl’s heart and tempered her wrath a little.

“Yet, will I give you one last chance to redeem yourself,” she said, “for the greater fault lies with the one who led you into folly. Despite your sin, Mim-Atet-Ra, there is purity and goodness in your heart, and Tehuti weighs the sins of the warm-hearted and those of the cold-blooded in different measures. As do I.

“There is a flaw in the design of mortals, which must be taken into account here. Free will, we gave them at Creation. It was Our one mistake.”

She raised her hand and the heavens parted as if a veil had been drawn aside, taking with it stars and planets, galaxies and all beyond them . . .

“Two futures . . .”
The words echoed down the corridors of time, as She faded from Mim’s sight. And then a world unfolded before the stricken priestess:

In her vision she saw Karaden. He was a great and honorable pharaoh, beloved by the people of two kingdoms, for he had brought them naught but good. She watched his life unfold from youth to manhood to old age . . . she saw him wage war against the Ethiopians, and avert a devastating famine by his skillful manipulation of trade, and by opening the granaries of Pharaoh to the people. His was a long and fruitful reign, blessed by the five sons and daughters, whom he loved, and by a peaceful and prosperous kingdom.

Beside him, through it all, was his queen—a good and loving woman, who brought order to his household and joy to his heart. Mim thought her own heart would strangle from the anguish of seeing another in the place she dared to dream of as her own.

The vision cleared. The night sky full of diamond stars again blanketed Mim’s view, and the voice of the Great Mother filled the echoless space of eternity.

“The future, too . . .”
she said, in a thunderous tone that could make mountains tremble into dust.

Again the veil of heaven was drawn back, to reveal the hour of her scheduled rendezvous with Karaden.

Aghast, and utterly fascinated, Mim saw herself lying wrapped in Karaden’s arms. She watched as they made love as only those born to be together may, feeling each other’s essence in cell and soul. She, who knew nothing of how to love a man, knew everything. He, who knew all, learned more from her trust. She watched, barely able to breathe, as their life-force left its accustomed place, and went to dwell in each other that they might be one. She felt his hands and mouth on her secret places, felt the moist swelling of desire, and the urgent pulse that pushes all beyond endurance to the place of bliss. In every lustful, exquisite detail, she lived her love for Karaden. Before morning dawned, he left her, his kisses still warm upon her body, his seed already quickening in her womb. In the anguish of her heightened powers of vision, Mim saw that he was called to face the test of the Abyss.

Karaden was the greatest talent of any initiate the priests had ever trained, they said. But he entered the Ordeal, distracted by their love, and weakened by their ecstasy.

Mim watched him die.

In heartsickness beyond description, she watched the new Pharaoh take Karaden’s place upon the Lotus Throne. He was a lesser man, of venal habits and flexible morality. She saw him lead Khemu into destruction, famine, war. A great pestilence swept the land in the wake of the carnage.

Mim saw, too, that a daughter had been conceived by her, with Karaden. She watched the unfoldment of the brilliant child, in a world made dangerous for the gifted, and knew that she had borne one chosen for a special destiny.

She fled with the child to the desert, to escape the ravagement that came to Khemu-Amenti. They lived as fugitive ascetics, on the fringes of what had been her world, and she trained her daughter in the Mother’s way.

The people cried out to the Gods in their despair, for evil priests seized control of temples, and the Powers of Darkness overwhelmed the Light. Before the vision faded, Mim watched her daughter go to the Temple of Sekhmet to fight the priests there, for the Mother’s sake . . . she saw not if she failed or triumphed.

The vision shimmered into nothingness and Mim was left staring into the Abyss of Eternity, as the Goddess filled the firmament again before her tear-blind eyes.

“Choose!”
she demanded, relentless as death or birth.

And so Mim did.

O Karaden, eternal beloved! Did you wait for me at the appointed rendezvous? Did you cry out in despair and think me cruel or fickle that I failed you? The Gods will not be mocked by mortals, dearest heart-friend. We had been called to serve or suffer. And the choice was theirs.

Sometimes in my sorrow I have thought—may Isis forgive me if I misjudge—that the Gods are far less just than men.

Maggie felt herself drawn inexorably back to normal consciousness, the words of Mim still ringing in her head. Clear as truth.
Every word remembered.

She sat up in bed, dazed and disoriented, then forced herself to rise unsteadily. She moved to the window and stared, unseeing, into the New York night that now seemed foreign to her. Images of Egypt lived within her cells, as surely as those of yesterday. Heart-mates tuned to a love five thousand years unfulfilled . . .
I know who we are to each other.

There was an ending to this story, she knew that absolutely. But was it then and there . . . or here.

And
now.

With faltering hands Maggie dialed Peter’s number and told him to come, there was something he needed to know.

M
aggie lay on the couch in Strater’s office, hoping for the fortitude to go through with whatever was to happen. There were no choices now, she had to find the ending. Peter stood, his face furrowed with concern, near the bookshelves that lined the wall behind Strater’s desk. It was his story, too.

Heinrich Strater closed the blinds, set the tape recorder on play, and sat down beside Maggie with the small sigh of a man about to undertake a demanding task. She had told him of the vision of the night before, and he had been alarmed by the state of mind it had produced in her. Today, he would try for a resolution of this continuing fantasy that would allow this woman to find peace.

He took Maggie’s hand in his own and held it firmly, as he led her through the induction into the hypnotic state.

“My dear Maggie,” he said gently, when he was certain she was under. “We are about to journey backward in time to find the answers you seek there. I will ask you to return to the time of the Priestess, Mim, after her confrontation with the Goddess Isis. When you have arrived at the moment safely you will raise your right hand to let me know. Do you understand?”

Maggie’s head moved somnambulantly back and forth. She seemed quite peaceful. A minute or two later, her hand elevated.

“Very good, Maggie. Thank you. Now, I would like you to tell us whatever you feel comfortable in revealing about this ancient experience. Do you understand?”

“I have paid a dear price for these memories,” Maggie/Mim said distinctly. “They are mine to reveal. Not even the Goddess can deny me this.”

Peter and Strater exchanged looks, and the psychiatrist put his finger to caution Peter to remain silent.
Mim
was with them now . . . she began to speak:

“I was awakened long before dawn by Meri-Neyt. She looked grave, and I was certain she knew full well what had transpired, but, in truth, I was too sorrowful and weary to care overmuch. What was earthly reprimand to me, who had been chastised by a Goddess?

“Wordlessly, she dressed me in a ceremonial gown, placed a golden girdle about my hips, and led me to the sanctuary of the High Priestess.

“’You will be tested today, Mim-Atet-Ra,’ the Reverend Mother said without emotion. But on Meri-Neyt’s face I could see a stubborn compassion writ plainly, as she stood before the High Priestess’s throne. I knew in that moment that my beloved tutor thought I would die during the Ordeal. I had a psychic flash that an argument had transpired between the two women (Could anyone argue with a High Priestess I wondered? Would anyone dare?) but that the die had been cast and I, though unprepared would face the great obstacle course that day. I, too, assumed I was meant to perish, but I cared not.

“Meri-Neyt stepped forward then to prepare me, as was allowed.

“‘These are the rules of the Ordeal,’ she said in her ceremonial voice, and I knew I had left all innocence behind, and must stand to be counted, for good or ill. I was child and pupil no longer, but a warrior on the battlefield of the Gods.

“‘View all temptations with suspicion. Many are the snares of mind and heart and spirit that will be set for you,’ she warned.
‘Trust no one, but your own heart.

“‘Give wise counsel to any who seek it, but waste not your substance on those who drain your resources, without willingness to change themselves.

“‘Even in the final extremity, purity and truth will overpower armies. Gird your loins with their armor.

“‘The ordeal is a microcosm. You are in mortal incarnation to build the soul. All life is but an initiation on your journey homeward. What you face today, all must face before returning. Life gives no quarter, so be brave.

‘“Remember the directive: To know. To will. To dare. To keep silent. Fail any of these admonitions and you fail the whole.’

“She smiled at me then, and I could see her love for me and her good will in that expression. ‘I wait to welcome you in victory! she cried out in ringing tones. I thought I saw her cast a defiant flicker in Reverend Mother’s direction, but I might have been mistaken. Then she struck me sharply between the shoulder blades—this was the Thread Connecting Rite, which signified passing on the power from teacher to student, and the thread would connect us, always, for I carried within me the gift of her wisdom.

“She tied about me the apron of the Greater Mysteries; then I was blindfolded and led to a subterranean chamber where my testing would begin.

“Of the specifics of the Ordeal itself, I may not speak, on pain of death. But certain revelations I am permitted to share with you, for mankind needs the knowledge, now as then:

“I saw the
Place of Torturers—
it was a dreadful world of infinite darkness where those who have brutalized others reap the harvest of their cruelty.

“I traversed the place where the
Speakers of Evil
suffer the ravages of their poisoned tongues.

“I saw the place where false priests and prophets dwell, damned to live their own lies for eternity.

“I saw the place where the rich and mighty dwelt, who had used their worldly goods on selfish ends. There do they hunger and thirst and wear the rags of those they might have saved by charity.

“Then did I see the
Place of Eternal Darkness,
where those who did evil in lifetime after lifetime are sent to reap the bitter harvest they have sowed, doomed to the company of their own kind, and the chaos they sought to perpetrate on others.

“And then I saw the Great Ones, who watch the earth and her children and aid those who work in conscience for the good of man. It is the place where all true prayers are answered.

“On I traveled to the
Place of Records,
where is writ the whole long history of mankind, and I read there the upward-moving spiral of man’s climb from the mire to the Father/Mother’s Kingdom.

“I heard the Music of the Spheres, and saw the
Place of Wisdom,
where all are judged, not by what they know, but by how generously they have shared it.

“Next I was brought to the
Seven Great Ordeals,
where I was forced to face my deepest, darkest fears. I waded the quicksand in the
Swamp of Lost Dreams . . .
I ran the
Plain of Archers,
where every arrow is a desperate fear . . . I swam the
River of Blood,
where the stream is fed by those who might have died had I not, in some incarnation, offered a helping hand . . . I survived the
Plain of Fires
that are stoked by pride and lust and jealousy and anger . . . I faced the
Pit of Vipers,
where delusions ensnare your feet like tendrils, and the poison of envy or covetousness sucks at every cell.”

Dr. Strater glanced up at Peter, who seemed to be in some kind of distress; his face was furrowed, perhaps with concern for Maggie? Perhaps, something more than that . . . The psychiatrist returned his attention to his patient.

“I thought that all had ended then,” Mim said, “for I saw a benevolent figure walking toward me carrying a giant Cobra, which was the sign of the upraised Kundalini and the opened Third Eye of Illumination. So I approached the figure with relief, not wariness. As I drew abreast, the hideous snake reared up and coiled to strike, and the figure
flung
the serpent at my exhausted, unsuspecting body! The venomous head sped toward me and I very nearly perished in that instant. Yet, reflex supersedes thought, and I dashed the writhing reptile to the ground. I sought the Eye Ray, the magic wand of the mind; focused through the lens of the eye, it had the power to set the world aflame.

“I called on the last reserves of Power I possessed and turned the ray upon the snake. But just as I was about to kill it with this force, I knew that I must
not. For a far greater feat would be to conquer him with love.

“I gathered the thought force, fighting back revulsion and fear, and replaced it with love for so beautiful, if deadly, an opponent. I hypnotized the snake with my eye-ray, and then beamed the love-ray from my heart. If it sensed our kinship, it would not seek to harm me. I backed away from its confusion and mustered my strength for the navel-ray, which was the Will, and the force needed for miracles.”

Peter had risen from the chair he’d been sitting in; he looked agitated, as if some terrible internal upheaval were in progress. Strater frowned. It wouldn’t do to disrupt Maggie’s hypnotic state at this point. Damage could be done by too abrupt a return to present consciousness. He motioned Peter to be still.

“The viper pulled back its hood,” Mim continued excitedly, “and I saw it lower its defenses. Its swaying eyes sought mine . . . I sent it love and friendship. Then, it simply disappeared—but with it went my last reserves of energy. If more were required of me, I knew I was surely doomed.

“Suddenly, two doors materialized beyond me on the ethers, and a voice said blaringly,
‘Behind one, Victory . . . behind the other, Annihilation!
So simple a test, after all I had endured? I reached out with my intuition and ‘felt’ beyond the portals—behind one I sensed safety, and beyond the other, only desolation.

“Then, did the strangest vision appear to me . . . quite clearly, I saw Meri-Neyt desperately gesturing for me to make the other choice! She had been my guide and advisor for a lifetime, so I stopped instantly, and reached out once more with my inner knowing. But once again, I perceived
Life
behind the left-hand portal, and
Death
beyond the right.

“I stood on that strange, barren plane, paralyzed by my perplexity. Meri would not ill advise . . . yet, did I feel with every fiber that the choice she pointed out was wrong. Desperately, I tried to remember the words of her admonitions—and it came to me . . .
Trust . . .
”

Maggie never finished the sentence, but Peter did.

“Trust no one but your own heart!”
he cried out, as he rushed to Maggie’s side.

“What are you doing?” Strater shouted, alarmed. But Peter had taken Maggie’s limp body into his arms, and paid no heed to the psychiatrist.

“Naked and alone, beloved, you make your own choice!” Peter whispered urgently to her. “All else is but illusion. This was the test I failed, Mim.
This
was the test of the Abyss. You
must
not fail!”

Maggie continued to speak in Mim’s voice, as it was apparent she either could not hear Peter’s words, or did not choose to.

“I opened the left-hand door,” she continued, as before. “A choir of angels greeted me beyond this portal . . . and I knew with certainty that the final test is this: At the moment of Truth,
naked and alone must you make your own choice.
All else is but illusion.”

Peter laid his head on Maggie’s breast, tears were running down his cheeks. To Strater, he seemed in as much of a trance state as she; he saw that Maggie/Mim had placed one arm about the man’s shoulders in a strangely protective gesture, as she continued her story:

“Suddenly, I was back in the presence of the High Priestess, in her golden robes of office, and as I watched, entranced, She shimmered into nothingness, and where she had stood the Goddess rose, and Her glory was greater than the world.

“‘You have faced the Abyss, Mim-Atet-Ra, daughter of Isis. You have sinned and you have repented. You have been sorely tested and you have prevailed. Thus, shall you be punished and rewarded, for all that occurs in human incarnation is of the mortal’s own forging.

“Guardian of the Isis Amulet, arise!
The child you would have borne to Karaden will be restored to you, somewhere in time.

“She will be my Messenger, and keeper of my Amulet throughout Eternity. You will be her Guardian. When mankind stumbles so gravely on the path that it endangers its own existence, then I will send you both forth. To the death and beyond, must you protect you sacred charges, my Messenger and my Amulet. Mankind is flawed, yet does it often please me, for it has the capacity to be greater than itself, n ways we did not envision at first Creation. Thus, I will give it one last opportunity to rise above its flaws, though all the other Gods may turn away.

“‘But, know this, Guardian:

“‘There is another Amulet that has been forged. Sekhmet has invoked the Powers of Evil to challenge my gift to humanity. She has imbued a great onyx with the totality of all destructive forces that exit in this universe. Thus, may free will still prevail. For man will still have to choose between our gifts. This only can I do to strengthen your hand: the Sekhmet Stone can never be Materialized
unless the Isis Messenger is already in the world.
Thus, when the Messenger Incarnates and Materializes the Amulet, she sets the game in play. Good or Evil will triumph. And man will choose his own destiny.