Blessed by Sapphires (A Dance with Destiny Book 2) (26 page)

“My love, if this is all you require of me, then I will gladly sit upon this sill and comfort you for all eternity. You are my whole world. I just didn’t realize it until it was too late.”

“And I didn’t understand until this very moment.” I drew in a ragged breath. “And that’s comforting as well.”

“Will you stay with me?” he whispered, lightly kissing the top of my head.

“You know I cannot.”

“You could.”

“And remain a recluse in your ivory tower? Never free to leave these walls for fear of being seen? Do you forget your lovely wife? This would be the ultimate betrayal to her. You are not that man anymore, Merodach. And I have
never
been that woman. Just know the tenderness you’ve shown me this day will live in my heart for all time. I will revisit it in my mind and be thankful for having felt so cherished.”

His arm tightened around me. “I won’t let you go.”

I chuckled softly. “You cannot stop me.”

“I know… but, perhaps…” He paused; unspoken words left hanging upon his perfect lips.

“What? What’s playing out behind those enchanting eyes of yours?”

“What you have become is a blessing and a curse as well,” he continued.

“Yes, this is known.”

“What if the cursed part could be removed and only the blessing remain?”

“How is this? The curse and the blessing are the same. To remove one is to remove the other.”

“What if you could choose to remove the things about your transformation that cause you the most pain? Would you do it?”

“…The thought scares me. Merodach, with each change that has befallen me, I’ve become a new creature, a new woman. The hardest part is getting used to the difference, assimilating your existence. To remove the change would promise nothing less. This is
who
I am to be now. I only need to find
where
I am to be now.”

“But if I could make your skin like mine again, you could remain in Ashgard. Potions can be made to change hair color. So that part wouldn’t be a problem. What do you think?”

I sat up and wiped away the drying tears. Turning to face Merodach, I took his hands in mine.

“What do
you
think? Would you want my Angel skin replaced?”

“No, it’s breathtaking. But if it meant you could stay, would you be willing to sacrifice it?”

“Sacrifice it?” I shook my head wearily. “I am so very tired of sacrificing. The whole of my life has been one gut-wrenching sacrifice after the next. I have this skin for a reason, sweet Prince. I have this scar for a reason. This hair, these eyes—they’re mine for a reason. They have a purpose. I’m only postponing the lonely journey that’ll lead me to where I am needed, to where I now belong.”

“But you wouldn’t have to leave.”

“Merodach, you dance with folly. All creatures have their purpose. Life is pain and change is hard. I should be used to it by now. Being alone is nothing to be afraid of. Yet I will admit… I do not welcome it again so soon. Alas, your kind deed now will only cause me needless suffering in the future.”

“Please, let me do something, anything. Free your tongue, Milady, and see your desires quenched.”

“Ahh, my handsome Prince, you serve as bond for wounded heart. You have pieced me back together. I wish for nothing more.”

“My love, life is violent and cruel by nature.” He touched the scar on my cheek. “When something good and precious comes along, you’ve got to stop and celebrate it.”

I smiled. “And that’s what we just did.”

“What can I say? What words will make a difference? What will convince you to stay with me?”

“Merodach, please. This is like being ripped in half. No matter which way I turn, no matter which path I choose, someone I love will be hurt. Everything is temporary… you just keep breathing, keep living. I journey on with the faith that one day, loss and grief shall give way to triumph and joy.”

“And that day is here, my love. I can give you the joy you deserve. If only you will let me.”

“Then there’s only one way for this to end, sweet Prince… by me walking away.” I kissed Merodach upon his cheek and rested my forehead against his. “Who would have ever guessed this is how the two of us would end up?”

“I always knew somewhere deep inside, you were the very maiden who would break my heart,” he said through his tears.

“I love you, too,” I whispered.

He ran his strong hands up my back, gently pressing me to him. I could feel his heart racing as he moved his lips closer to mine. I didn’t pull away, yet he feared I would. His strong and tender kiss was as loving as his words had been. I knew letting this continue was dangerous, but I was unwilling to let him go. His ardent desire for me was not in passion alone. He was ruled by a primal
need
for me. Merodach needed me. Above all things, he simply needed me. The feeling accompanying that revelation was one of the purest things I’d ever felt. I let the passion of that intense feeling show in the kiss I then returned to my Prince. He moaned and held me tighter. We melted together… we were lost. And I will always be grateful for what happened next.

“Sire, are you in there? My news is urgent.”

The loud banging startled us, separating our desirous embrace. I used Merodach’s temporary distraction to slip from his arms, exiting the palace window.

“Sire?”

I knew that excited voice. It halted me upon the ledge.

“What is it, boy? What’s going on that’s so important you felt the need to disturb me during my meditations?”

Merodach was scolding the intruder before he ever reached the door.

“Apologies, Sire, but I…”

I stopped hearing the frantic oration when I peeked around the corner and beheld the most enchanting emerald eyes I could
never
forget. Gone were the long raven curls of his youth, replaced with black waves hugging close to his scalp. There stood the first man I had ever given my heart to, my Alastyn.

Sheer will is all that kept my toes upon the stone ledge as the whole of my mind was screaming for me to run, jump into my dear friend’s arms and tell him everything. I know not how long I was frozen there. I left only when his back was hidden from me by the closing door.

I had seen the ghost of my past. Now he could rest, forever.

I let myself fall from that cold ledge and willed my wings to open only after the manicured lawn of the palace was within my reach.

Merodach’s pitiful pleas drew me back to the high windowsill, drew me back to him but for one brief moment more.

“Do not lament my parting, sweet Prince. I hope you can forgive me.”

“I have no choice but to forgive you.” He wept. “You were the love of my life.”

“I know,” I whispered. “And that makes this all the harder.”

I kissed his perfect cheek and ran my fingers through his silky dark hair. Then… I flew back to my childhood friend and our little rose-covered cottage.

Chapter 36

Merodach

(MHER-ah-doc)

The sweetest of aromas hit me and resurrected old memories of picking those delicate pink roses—always blooming in large clumps over by the chimney. I was allowed to pick as many as I wanted, but I had to save the petals so Aunt Marlise could make me some fresh rosewater.

“I miss you,” I whispered upon the wind.

Precious memories drew me to those ancient vines. I picked all the delicate blooms I could carry and went inside.

“Jezreeel… I’m hooome!” I sang out.

“You don’t have to shout, child. I can hear you just fine.”

“
Child
? If my memory serves me correctly, I’m almost two whole months your senior. Child, is it?”

“Just ask anyone to look at us and then decide who should be called
senior
,” she huffed.

“Well, if you want to play it like that, Jezreel. Just ask anyone to look into our eyes and glean who is older. Yours still holds the bright sparkle of youth. Mine are—”

“Yours are beautiful,” she cut me off.

“Yes, beautiful, but not mine. I’m not even certain they’re human.”

“They are yours, you are human, so they’re beautiful human eyes and I refuse to hear another word on the subject.”

“Very well.” I shrugged my shoulders. “What do you wish to talk about, then? Anything but the past. I’m sick of talking about the past. Absent my constant words, the past would remain in the grave where it belongs.” I plopped down at the table, lovingly spreading out the dainty little rose blossoms.

“Then let us look to the future.” She cast me a wicked little grin. “Shall I divine yours?”

“Jezreel!”

“What? It’s not dark art. I mix a few herbs. Say a few words. Margy takes a good look at you, and then it’s done. Simple as that. Nothing harmful to anyone. No spirits or demons involved. I promise.”

“Hmm… Very well then. It’s all in fun, right? No harm in having a little fun.” I was sort of intrigued by the idea.

“Excellent. Let’s get started. You can put the water on to boil,” she said excitedly.

“Before I leave, I’ll be making up a batch of potion #4. Then… I’ll be taking the recipe with me.”

Jezreel looked shocked at first. Then a haggard smile crossed her leathery face. “I think that’s a
wonderful
idea. It was your sixteenth name day present. You should hold it close to your heart. Besides, it was never meant to be shared. It smells foul on anyone else.”

She waved her old hand in front of her crinkled up nose and we both giggled.

I collected everything Jezreel needed, as well as all the ingredients my potion #4 called for, out of the apothecary.

“I need more roses. I’ll get Margy while I’m out,” I called to Jezreel as I stepped out into the beautiful sunlight.

Margy was tending her herb garden and looked up at the sound of the banging door. I motioned for her to come over and went around the side to fetch some more of the fragrant petals.

Some girl-time may be just what I need.

The steamy water was potent with sweet herbs. The intoxicating aroma filled the tiny cottage to bursting. Jezreel prepared her concoction, chanting her strange words while Margy held my hands, concentrating on my future. Both women were unsuccessful on their first attempt.

“Not unusual. It happens,” Margy said. “The fact you’ve been gone from us for so long doesn’t help matters, either.”

We spent the better part of the day talking and laughing. It almost seemed like old times. I made as many bottles of rosewater as I could fit into one of Marlise’s old tapestry bags. The ingredients for my potion #4 were much rarer, harder to come by. I could only procure enough to make about half as many vials of it.

Afternoon turned to evening. The sun had begun its slow descent to the horizon before Jezreel begged me to let her again play at divination.

“Very well, but just once more. I’m not as curious as you are, Jezreel.”

“It’s not curiosity alone. I simply wish to keep my dearest friend from taking a darkened path and falling from grace.”

“I fell from grace a long time ago, Jezreel. The only paths left for my choosing are dark.”

“Jenevier, my child. Look to the gods for illumination when heart is darkened,” Margy said.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t help it. “Not gods, Mrs. Trinken…
God
. And if you think a fair vision can snatch me from the jaws of death, I’m immortal now. If our destinies hinge upon
this
foretelling, then I fear we’re
all
forsaken.”

“Ah, Jenevier lost her love, yet her fire still burns,” Jezreel teased.

“Fine then. Just get on with it, Witch,” I said, crinkling up my nose at her.

Laughing and chattering, the three of us took our places once more—trying to rein in but a glimpse of my eternity.

“I know that’s the correct incantation,” Jezreel complained.

“I don’t think it’s your spell, honey. I can’t see a thing. She’s closed to me,” Margy said, sighing.

“Perhaps my future is still an uncertain thing. Or perhaps my path is set and it
chooses
to remain hidden. If my past is any indicator, I don’t think you’d want to see what lies ahead of me. Besides, where’s the fun in knowing?”

Jezreel sighed. “You
do
have an exceptionally long future. Perhaps our minds couldn’t fathom it anyway.”

“I suppose we can look at it this way. Since you’re eternal now,
anything
will be a victory to you… in time,” Margy chirped.

“We are
all
eternal, Margy. I’m just immortal now. Which means, good or bad, I’ll be stuck here forever. There’s no victory in that.”

“No more gloomy gusses, ladies.” Jezreel leaned in closer to me. “Jenevier, I’d like to have a better look at that strange talisman hanging about your neck.”

“Talisman? Oh, this is no talisman. Remember I told you about the Mermaids? Well, this is the shell they demanded I take.”

I untied the ribbon and handed the lustrous little oddity to my dear friend.

“What’s written here? Can you read this?” she asked.

“Some ancient script, I suppose. Do you think it’s Elvish?” Margy said.

“Actually, I assumed it was in the Mermaids’ tongue, or one of Lyra, since that’s the place from whence it came.”

“Hmm… Don’t you read Angel?” Jezreel cocked one white eyebrow with her question.

“Angel?” I snickered. “Do you mean Vanir? They’re Guardians, and they
hate
being called Angels. But if you mean my lessons in Vanahirdem, I know not. I could read it just like it was written in my native language. It’s the same with speaking. If their tongue is different from my own, I knew it not.”

“That is powerful, ancient magic,” Jezreel whispered.

“They are a powerful, ancient people,” I said.

“Have you tried to read it?” Margy asked.

“I glanced at it only. I was going to study it, but pressing concerns pulled mind from task,” I admitted.

“Will you try it now? My curiosity will become insatiable until we know for sure. If the Mermaids demanded you take it, saying you would surely need it, don’t you think it’s better if we know what it says?” Jezreel puzzled.

“Very well, let me have it.” I reached for the strange little shell. “I will have to meditate upon it so I’ll go where it’s quiet. I promise to tell you all I can as soon as I know myself.”

“Don’t take off on us without saying goodbye this time,” Jezreel said.

“Don’t be such a worry wart, Jezreel. If you really need me, I’ll be in the big tree out back, the twisted old winslet.”

“In the tree?”

“Leaving now,” I called out over my shoulder before the door banged shut.

“Please, don’t leave.”

I froze at the sound of his voice. “I
knew
something was breaking my concentration. Prince Merodach, what brings you to my back door? And why does it mess me up when you’re near?”

“It doesn’t
mess you up
, it completes you.”

I laughed aloud, but I still didn’t turn to look at him. I didn’t trust myself.

“I am no longer the Prince of Wrothdem,” he said. “I have been ordained its King.”

“That’s wonderful, and too long in coming, I should say. You’ll be a fine King. Your subjects have no idea how lucky they are.”

“But my heart is no longer in it. Not since—”

“Then I have sinned against you,” I interrupted. “My vile selfishness will be mine and everyone else’s undoing. Please Dante, forgive me… and then promise to forget me.”

“How can you ask the impossible? A man doesn’t choose love. It claims each heart as it will.”

If he refused to leave by my pleas alone, I was determined to force him to leave by my anger.
Or
strength, if need be. Everything my life had been sacrificed for was hanging in the balance. I
had
to make him understand.

“And then squeezes until there’s nothing left,” I added.

“And that’s exactly why I came here tonight. Jenevier please, let me help you. Let me warm your beautiful heart once more. An unforgivable tragedy has claimed you, claimed your love. My sweet, beautiful Angel, something inside you is broken… or missing.”

“And what would a serpent know of love?” I spat.

“That its bite is often fatal,” he whispered.

“Gratitude, good King Merodach. I have heard your thoughts. Now leave me to my own.”

“Do you wish me to beg? I’m not proud in your presence. I will freely crawl upon the ground and beg for nothing more than a glance from your lovely eyes. I didn’t come here to lecture you, my love.”

“But something tells me you’re going to anyway.”

“I will not see you come to harm when I could have made a difference, yet stood idle.”

“Then speak. What is it you wish of me, Merodach? Would you have me cast aside what strength and advantage I’ve acquired? Think before you advise. These gifts came at the highest of costs.”

“Do you think me intent upon selfish deeds? I’m a new man, a
changed
man.”

I laughed cruelly. “People don’t change. They only find new ways to lie.”

“Jenevier, my Angel, absent my help I fear you may fall to ruin. Why would I bear false tongue? My heart keeps screaming warnings about you. I know you’re in dire need of me. I cannot ignore this.”

“I am weary.” I sighed. “Forgive me. My words are unduly sharp because my mind is tired. Apologies. I meant them not.”

Merodach approached me from behind, held me in a comfortingly strong embrace. He felt so warm, so gentle. It was hard to believe this was the same man who had cursed me.

“Then lean upon me, I will lift you up. I will eternally be at your service if you but say the word.”

This strange scene brought to mind the night Alastyn held me, much like this. His promises, very nearly the same.

I looked down at the glossy shell amulet, absently rubbing my thumb across the strange script.

“Huh… What is it you have there?” Merodach gasped. “How in the world did you come by
that
? I should say there is no greater treasure in all of Ashgard. Nay, the universe.”

“You know this, then?” I asked, shocked.

“What? This script? Yes, my love. I know it well. That’s the most ancient of all languages. What you hold in your tiny little hand is the same language that spoke all you see into existence.”

“What are you saying? That this is the language of God?”

“The same. The words inscribed thereon can make and unmake creation. When spoken aloud, those words can right all wrongs… or obliterate life as we know it. But once removed from sight, they leave the mind as well.”

“Oh no… No. I don’t want this responsibility. Not again. I cannot wield this type of power. Nor do I wish to. Here, Merodach. You take it. I can’t even read it.”

“You freely offer me the world, the whole of creation? You do not know what you’re giving, my love. A lesser man would bring death or submission to us all. I will not take it. I do not possess the purity needed for such a responsibility. No, sweet Jenevier. This has come into your hands for one special reason. You’re the only one worthy enough. Perhaps it’s because you’re the only one who wouldn’t want it.”

I turned to the handsome King of Ashgard. “Will you be
completely
honest with me?” I grabbed his tunic in my fists, pleading with him. “If I ask but one thing of you, will you honorably see it done?”

“That’s why I came here, what I’ve been begging of you. Speak it. Anything, my love. You have my solemn word. A man without his word is no better than a beast. I have offered you the whole of this realm. Anything else you desire will be my honor. How may I be of assistance to you, fair lady?”