Blind-Date Bride (8 page)

Fine, maybe he
more
than admired her.

The drive through the evening streets proved uneventful. Rain hammered the vehicle with enough force, the wipers couldn’t keep up. Water levels grew on the roads and ran in streams along the curb. The traffic was light, and he pulled into the bookstore’s lot in record time.

Did he go in? He sat in the truck, the engine idling, the defroster battling the fog at the rim of the windshield. The world was night shadows and rain, shades of black and gray. Maybe that’s why his gaze was attracted to the lemony light behind the store’s glass windows and the splashes of color from the book displays and the people as they sat in folding chairs, lined up listening to a blond lady talk to the group. Someone raised their hand—looked like a question-and-answer session of some kind—and the blond lady answered with a
pleasant smile. It was all very nice, sure. But it wasn’t why his gaze was drawn to the bright lights and honey colors and the tranquil scene.

No. It was a certain woman he searched for. Her particular shade of perfect gold hair. Her darling face he longed to see.

This is not like you, Max. He shook his head, unhappy with himself even as he searched for her through the rain-streaked glass. When he found her on the far side of the crowd, she wasn’t seated like everyone else. No, Brianna knelt at the side of an older woman in a wheelchair, her face upturned, filled with love.

His battered, sorry heart turned over and thumped to life one painful beat followed by another. Feelings he’d thought had died long ago flooded his chest, leaving him helpless and drowning.

You’ve got to stop this now, man. He shut off the engine and yanked the keys from the ignition, the rounding drum of the rain on the roof the only sound. Somehow he had to figure how to stuff those feelings back inside where they’d been hiding. He was not a guy run by emotions. He was methodical and logical. That’s what made him a good detective, and a prudent man.

When he climbed out of the truck, he concentrated on the cold slap of rain against his face and the splash of his boots in the puddled lot. If his gaze didn’t stray from her, then he didn’t worry about it. He was in control of his emotions, in control of his heart.

If it seemed to him that she was the most beautiful girl in the room, then it was only a fact, not his feelings taking over. If the light seemed to follow her, and the gold in her hair gleamed like platinum, then it wasn’t because
he was sweet on her. Her beauty was a fact, like the storm and the concrete curb he was stepping over. Verifiable facts, which anyone could agree on. The fact that he could not force his gaze from her was immaterial.

She drew him through the darkness and into the light, from the cold of the storm into the store’s sheltering warmth. Rain sluiced down his face, and he swiped it away. The pleasant noise of conversations, the people, the fragrance of brewing coffee and spiced cider faded into nothing. All he could see was Brianna, folding her skirt as she slipped into a chair beside the older woman. All he could hear was the low tones of Brianna’s voice, as the speaker relinquished the floor. All he could sense was her startled gaze as she glanced over her shoulder to see him.

Her reaction came purely, simply. Her eyes lit with subtle fondness, and when a smile touched her soft lips, it was like a new beginning.

He couldn’t deny it any longer. He wasn’t the same man. He had changed, and it was because of her.

B
rianna rose on shaky knees. Max was back. She was up on that mountain again, feeling the glacier crack beneath her feet. She laid a hand on Lil’s arm. “I’m going to get some tea. Do you want a refill?”

“No, I’m fine, dear. You go on.”

Somehow she circled around the wheelchair and the rows of emptying chairs. She was halfway to the beverage table before she realized it. The reason: Max strode toward her, sucking all the air in the room and the cells from her brain as he approached.

She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t speak. All she could see was him drawing nearer, his boots eating up the distance until suddenly he towered over her. Her skin prickled as if lightning was about to strike. She felt vulnerable, down to the quick, down to the soul. How could a man have such an emotional impact on her? It was as if he were a force field, and being near him disabled her defensive shields.

“Let me.” He took the cup from her grip, commanding and shy all at once. “I saw you weren’t alone.”

“No, I certainly wasn’t. With Lil, it was love at first sight.”

“Lil? Is she your mom?” He strode over to the table and grabbed hold of the hot water carafe. Although more distance separated them, he felt closer than ever.

“No, she’s Colbie’s mom. But I’ve adopted her.”

“I can see why.”

Everything around her
seemed
perfectly normal: the steaming tea, the plop of the bag into the water, the faint sound of a romantic piano lilting from the store speakers. She didn’t
feel
normal. Not even a little bit. As if suddenly she found herself staring thousands of feet straight down a mountainside and discovering she had a serious fear of heights.

“What about your mom?” she asked, her wobbly hands separating a clean cup off the stack. “Are you close?”

“Sure. She’s retired to Palm Springs. She’s popular around Christmastime, especially with the weather around here. We keep in touch, mostly e-mail. Has the kid been giving you any trouble tonight?”

“No.” She set the cup on the table, waiting for him to pour. She had to steel herself. Max had a habit of walking away. He was just here to get his brother and then he’d be gone, that was all. She had to survive only a few more minutes, and the discomforting sense of terror would be over. “Marcus has been amusing us all evening.”

“Yeah, he’s good at that. Let me guess.” He slipped a protective sleeve on the cup before setting it on the table for her. “He’s tried his charms on every teenage girl here and they all rejected him.”

“That would be putting it mildly.”

“Yeah, the kid thinks he’s with-it, but he hasn’t found a girlfriend yet. And it’s not for lack of trying.” He took the empty cup and filled it, too. “He’s sadly lacking when it comes to conversing with the ladies. I would help him if I could, but you’ve seen me in action. And you’ve heard about my worst date failure.”

“True. Poor Marcus. He’s about as hopeless as his big brother is.”

“That’s the truth.” He poked through the open boxes and chose a mint tea bag.

“Although I am a little sweet on him. Marcus, I mean.” Why did she say that? Worse, she was blushing. If she kept this up, Max was going to guess in about the next two seconds she had a serious crush on him.

“I could tell.” He simply shrugged one wide shoulder as he tore open the packet and dunked the bag into the water. “So, did you meet any promising single men?”

There was a telling question. Panic tapped through her veins in a sprightly staccato. “I met a lot of people tonight.”

Not a single one of the perfectly nice Christian men could hold a candle to Max.

“Me being here with you right now is wrecking your chances of a decent guy coming over to ask you out.” His observation sounded casual as he leaned against the wall, looking like a hero come to life. All he was missing was an Indiana Jones hat and a sidekick.

“You’re not a decent guy?”

“I’m not what you’re looking for, that’s for sure.” He took a cautious sip of tea.

“You say that like you know what I’m looking for.”

“It’s no mystery, Bree. Look at you. You could be Candy Cane Princess at the Christmas parade.”

“And that means I’m looking for the Candy Cane Prince?”

“Funny.” He didn’t laugh but his dark eyes glinted with amusement. “You need someone normal. Tame. Tie-wearing. The kind of guy who isn’t afraid to eat quiche and cry.”

“A lot you know about me.” She joined him at the wall. The panic could go away any time, thanks, because there was no reason for it. Why wasn’t her heart listening? “What about you? There are still lots of nice women here. You could mingle. See if anyone strikes your fancy.”

“I’m not really interested in dating.” He took another sip of tea, as if that was the end of the topic.

Not a chance, bud. Her curiosity was hooked. “If you’re not interested in dating, then why were you out on a blind date?”

“Peer pressure.” A wry grin hooked the corner of his mouth.

“I can’t see a big strong man like you succumbing to peer pressure.”

“I was just trying to fit in. Be like the rest of the guys with their wives and fiancées,” he quipped, dimples carving deep. “I struck out, which was just as well. My dating history is abysmal.”

“Abysmal is better than practically nonexistent.”

“Wait, now you’ve got to have had a boyfriend before.”

“Nope, no boyfriends.” Hard to admit. Very hard. She took a sip of tea and stared at the crowd. Some people were starting to leave. Lil, bless her, was chatting happily to Lucy, the author who had come to speak to the group tonight.

“Not one boyfriend? I don’t believe it.”

“It’s true.” Bree felt her insides coil up. She didn’t like looking back into the past. “Why do you think I let Colbie set me up on so many blind dates?”

“You mean you’ve been out on dates, just not anything serious, like with a fiancé.”

“No. I have never let any guy get that close.” The truth made her feel even more unprotected, as if she were starting to tumble right off the top of that impossibly high mountain with no safety rope to catch her. “My high school years were too chaotic. My dad left, my mom found a new husband and he was mean. The last thing I wanted was to try to trust another guy.”

“High school was a long time ago.”

“True, but when Brandi and I moved here to Bozeman to attend the university, life became good. Really good.” With the way the light shone on her, she looked spotlighted, as if a painter had rendered her that way, the center of someone’s world. “We rented our own little place, and suddenly we were settled. None of Mom’s meltdowns or all-night arguments. We were stable. Brandi and I were in charge. We could make sure we had a place to live because we paid the rent on time. We had enough food in the house because we had jobs. Our money wasn’t always disappearing. We had peaceful evenings and uninterrupted sleep.”

“I take it your mom set the bar low when it came to men?”

“Low? If it were any lower, we could have seen the Great Wall of China.”

“Understood.” He saw what she didn’t say. He’d seen it enough as a cop. “Then you’ve probably raised your bar pretty high to compensate.”

“I don’t know. When I find someone who can top it, I’ll let you know.” She blushed, a hint of pink rosying her face.

That was pretty much the answer he was expecting. Chances were, he wouldn’t measure up to that high-set bar. So, why didn’t that stop him from appreciating her amazing beauty? How she could look radiant in a plain pink sweater and simple tan skirt captivated him. Her loveliness couldn’t be found on a magazine’s glossy page or enhanced with any amount of makeup. As striking as she was, her true loveliness shone from the inside, like a pearl’s luster in perfect light.

“How about you?” She turned those stunning violet eyes on him. “Why aren’t you looking for your soul mate?”

“I don’t believe in soul mates. Doesn’t exist.”

“Of course they do.” She looked crestfallen. “Or why else would there be books and movies about it?”

“Hype to part the consumer from their hard-earned dollars.”

“I saw that smirk. You’re not fooling me, buster. Otherwise, why else would people fall in love and get married?”

“Loneliness, mostly.”

“Even you don’t believe that.”

If anyone could make him believe in the concept of soul mates, then it would be her. Yep, that was a change, too. Steam bathed his face as he took a sip of tea. The minty heat scorched his tongue, taking his mind off what was happening to his heart. “Some days I find the idea of true love more unlikely than on others.”

“Are those the days you go out on dates?”

“Funny.” He scanned the room, alert. “No, I keep
hoping there’s someone out there for me, but I’m not sure there is.”

“Surely you’ve tried to find out.”

“I did. Once I thought I had found her.” His confession rang low, and he hoped none of his emotions from that time were coming through. He liked to think that was well behind him. “I met Nancy in church.”

“In church?” Her forehead crinkled adorably in disbelief.

“You say that like you’re surprised. I’m a believer.” When she crooked one eyebrow in question, he chuckled. “All right, I believe in God. Just not true love. Anyway, Nancy was one of those innocent types. Pure goodness.”

“You fell in love with her.”

“I fell hard.” He winced, not daring to take a look at the woman by his side. “I fell too hard. I thought she was perfect. My world revolved around that girl.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” She took a sip of her tea. “I can see that about you.”

“Yeah?” That young man didn’t exist anymore. The one who could put all his belief in a woman. In anyone. He had loved with every fiber of his being, with every inch of his life. For all the good it had done him. He’d been stupid. He’d been fooled. He’d been gullible, believing in her goodness, one trait that hadn’t really existed. He could still taste the bitter wound on his tongue and feel it in his soul. “I actually almost asked her to marry me. Hard to believe that, huh?”

“Not in the slightest.” Her tender tone drew his gaze. He fought it, but it did no good. It was as if his spirit turned toward hers, like darkness finding its light. His throat filled right along with his heart. He had never felt
so revealed. As if she saw him, the real man he was, the guy behind the tough cop facade and lone-wolf defenses.

Maybe that’s why he found himself opening up. The story he’d done his best to forget through the years tumbled out like rocks rolling down a steep hill. “She said I kept her at a distance. I didn’t let her in. The job was a big part of it. Constant calls. Constant late nights. Problems that I couldn’t let go of at shift’s end. I was nineteen years old, wet behind the ears, just out of the academy and still figuring out my way.”

“What happened?”

“She betrayed me. She broke my heart into bits. Don’t think I ever figured out how to put it back together again.”

“I read somewhere once that pain is God’s way of growing your heart. That when it heals, it’s stronger and better, capable of more love and compassion.”

Yeah, he figured she would believe something like that. She wasn’t just a storybook princess on the outside, but on the inside, too. She gazed up at him with honesty so pure, he lost his breath.

Careful, he thought, you can’t let her get to you like that. Sometimes a man needed to believe in goodness. Sometimes a man saw too much of the bad side of humanity and what people were capable of, and it clung to him like soot. He’d been wrong before. Very wrong. He grimaced, thinking of Nancy. It was his experience that goodness was too fragile to survive long in the real world. That good on this earth wasn’t as strong as evil.

“How did she betray you?” Her question was little more than a whisper.

The reaction within him went off like a bomb. “Nancy was good at pretending to be something she wasn’t.”

“Do you mean, lying?”

“Yep. Not long after we broke up, I came home one night. I was just getting out of my car when I heard footsteps running down the street. It’s residential. Quiet kind of neighborhood, so I think, maybe it’s teenagers out running around before their parents figure it out. So I wasn’t paying any more attention than that. Then I was shot in the back. It was her old boyfriend. You see, when we first started dating, they were broken up, but he didn’t let go. Kept stalking her. A couple buddies and I set him straight, told him to leave her alone.”

“And he came after you?”

“After she went back to him. What she didn’t tell me, was that he was a drug dealer, and she’d had a prior problem with drugs. She hid it well for a while. “He might have thought he was hiding his pain as he shrugged his shoulders, like it was nothing. But he didn’t fool her.

“That had to be devastating.”

“It was rough, but I got through it.”

But not over it. That was easy to see. “At least the man who shot me wasn’t anyone I knew. It wasn’t personal. I always used to think that made it worse, like the world was more unsafe or something, but it’s not true. Betrayal like you went through has to be worse.”

“A bullet is a bullet. Bet you didn’t think we would have that in common.”

“No. I didn’t.” Unspoken understanding passed between them. The helplessness and fear, the fight to recover and heal. It was a difficult journey. She could see how deeply he had been hurt. He may have recovered physically, but emotionally, a person never was
the same after something like that. Some emotional wounds would always scar.

“The thing that got to me the most, was that she had this other life separate from me. She was in contact with him. I guess she saw him frequently toward the end. She kept so many secrets. I didn’t see any of it. I thought she was the sweetest woman, and I was wrong. I never want to be that blind again.”

“Or to trust anyone so much?”

“True. That doesn’t mean I’m not tempted now and then.” Dimples chased away the hint of his shadows, making him stronger than ever in her view. “We’re a pair. Both of us distrustful. Can’t find anyone to date.”

“Speak for yourself.”