Blind Faith (19 page)

Fire licked along her skin, and her lids dropped to half-mast. The earlier fight, the crazy adrenaline, the

inevitable release… all made her thankful to be alive. Alive and feminine.

He’d always done this to her. There was something so basically
male
about Nathan that being near him

made her feel feminine and powerful. A heady combination. One she’d missed so very much.

Keeping her gaze, he reached over and switched off the television set. In the same graceful movement,

he pressed PLAY on the iPod docked next to her bed. The mellow sounds of “Colder Weather” by Zac

Brown Band crooned out.

She breathed out. Fitting. If anybody was a rambling man, it was Nathan.

His fingers skimmed up her good leg, feathering against her thigh. “Audrey?”

“It’s a bad idea.” Her body didn’t care—and deep down, neither did her heart. Some temptations were

too strong to deny, and sometimes the pleasure was worth the ensuing pain. Only with Nate.

“Definitely a bad idea.” His hand flattened over her leg. Red spiraled across his cheekbones as he

glanced down at his hold. “We were never a good idea.”

No. But she’d never trade the few moments of true happiness she had found with him—not for

anything. She studied him, and desire hit her hard. Man, he was beautiful. Smooth, tight skin over his

muscled chest tempted her far too much. Ruthless angles and hard ridges made up his entire body, even to

the point of creating interesting hollows in his rugged face. He made her forget the fear of death and the

pain of the past, however briefly. “Nate?”

“Just one more time, Audrey,” he whispered, his voice so husky it slid straight to her heart.

One more night, to celebrate their living through the day, if nothing else. She blinked. “I’ve missed

you,” she whispered, finally letting her shields drop. This wasn’t a guy a girl could shield herself from, so

why waste the energy? Plus, he deserved to know he’d meant something to her. If that kill chip detonated,

then somebody would miss him. That mattered, right?

“I’ve missed you more.” He stood and unzipped his jeans. Then he toed off his boots, dropping the

jeans with them. Leaving him nude, his impressive cock jutting out.

She swallowed. Truly amazing, and for the moment, all hers. But she needed more than his body. “Tell

me you forgive me. For buckling to the commander’s threats and breaking up with you.” Yeah, it was

unfair to ask him that while he was hard and ready, but the words slipped out before she could stop them.

She needed to hear them before one or both of them ended up dead—which probably wasn’t far away.

He paused, one knee on the bed. His eyes darkened. Then he moved up her to place a soft kiss against

her lips. Lifting her chin with one knuckle, he looked her directly in the eyes. “I forgive you.”

Tears sprang to her eyes. Something inside her released, a ball of pain she hadn’t realized still lived

deep within her. “I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, dropping his mouth to lick along hers. “It’s in the past.” Then he kissed her, going

deep, keeping his weight off her but still lighting her on fire.

The bittersweet moment stole her breath while the sexy male filled her heart.
They
were in the past, and

there was no going back. But she had this moment, and she had this night. Maybe as a remembrance,

perhaps as a way to say good-bye the right way—if that’s what was needed. She held no illusions about

their lives or of any longevity. Reaching out, she ran her palms along the hard ridges in his arms. So much

strength.

Which made his gentleness all the more breathtaking as he drew her T-shirt over her head, humming

with appreciation as her breasts sprang free. Tucking his thumbs in her shorts, he slowly drew them down

her legs, tossing them atop the dresser. Settling in, he kissed along her calves, over her knees, spending

precious time on her scars. As if he knew exactly the placement of each pin, he kissed the areas, warming

them.

Need roared through her, more powerful than any shot of whiskey. “Nate—” she groaned, reaching for

him.

“No.” He licked his way up her thighs, nipping softly but with enough bite to still her.

Yearning beyond reality filled her, and she dug her nails into his shoulders, finally within reach.

“Careful, baby. I scratch back.” The next bite to her inner thigh held an erotic warning.

Her abdomen spasmed.

He chuckled and licked her slit. “We didn’t have enough time together, Aud.” He inserted one finger in

her and twisted.

Electricity rippled up her spine, and she arched her back. It was as if he felt inside her skin and knew

exactly how to touch her. He kissed her gently, the stubble from his strong jaw burning a path across her

thighs. Tempting her. Marking her.

She looked down her body as he lifted his head, his expression free for once. Hungry. A wicked smile

quirked his full lips, and he dropped back down, his shoulders settling in, spreading her thighs wider.

As if fully in tune with her, his hand moved up and repositioned her left leg so it didn’t cramp.

Her heart opened completely. She couldn’t help it.

With pinpoint accuracy, his tongue lashed her clit.

She hissed and arched against him, an electrical zap circuiting from his tongue to her nipples. They

ached, so full and ready. He licked her clit again and slipped another finger inside her. Playing. Seeking.

Twisting.

His fingers and his tongue set up a rhythm that had her swelling, aching, unwinding. Her body moved

of its own volition, moving against him. The tension wound so tightly inside her she tried to still herself.

“No.” She gasped. “Not yet.”

He chuckled around her clit.

The vibrations wound everything even tighter. So incredibly tight. Her eyes rolled back as she fought

the energy coiling inside her. “Not. Yet,” she hissed through clenched teeth. It all felt too good… She had to

hold on to the good.

He rubbed his whiskers against her thighs, the slight bite nearly pushing her over the edge. “Ah, baby,”

he rumbled against her clit, “you’ll come when I say.” One slow swipe of his tongue stopped time. “I say…

now
.” He sucked her entire clit into his mouth, crisscrossing his fingers along her G-spot.

Everything in her, the wicked and the good, the soft and the hard, the past and the present, all exploded

into a blazing-white hotness that poured through her in heat and fire. She arched into his mouth, crying out

his name, her entire being undulating. Her mind went blank as her body detonated. Lost in a world of

sensation, she finally whimpered her final bit of tension.

He released her, one hand flattening across her abdomen as little aftershocks took her. He kissed her

abdomen. “Beautiful.” Moving up, his body covered hers, his mouth sliding against hers. “You’re okay,

Aud.”

She’d never be the same. Sliding her arms around his broad back, she opened her legs wider to

accommodate him. “Please, Nate. Just, please.” She had no defenses and didn’t feel the need to find some.

This was Nate, and it had to be everything between them.

He nodded, gentle understanding filling his eyes. Quick movements had him rolling on a condom.

One thumb rubbed against her cheekbone in such a tender touch she barely felt it. As if he understood

fully, he pressed his forehead against hers and slowly penetrated her. Inch by swollen inch, he moved with

complete control as her body accepted his. He was so big he filled all of her and then some. Even after the

incredible orgasm, only now did she feel filled. Complete. The words from her heart hovered on her

tongue, but she bit them back.

His broad shoulders vibrated as he held himself in check. “Is your leg all right?”

That quickly, with the simple question, he ripped out what was left of her heart. He’d always owned it,

but she’d fooled herself into believing she’d kept a small part for herself. “Yes. I’m perfect.” Tilting her

hips, she brought him even deeper inside her. If possible, she’d keep him there forever.

Unfortunately they didn’t have forever.

But as he slid out and back in, her dreams took over. So she did the only thing in her power and opened

herself completely to him. He began to thrust harder, faster, his body taking hers. She skimmed her fingers

down his flanks, caressing a truly fine ass. He groaned and pounded, staying careful of her bad leg.

“Faster,” she murmured.

Unbelievably, everything inside her began to coil again. To spiral into a coil of need that tightened so

hard it hurt. Her nails bit into his flesh, and she met him thrust for thrust. How was this possible?

He thrust hard, angling over her clit, and she detonated. Flew through the air, fire consuming her, waves

pummeling her as she held on to him with everything she had. With one hard push, he stayed inside her, his

body convulsing as he came. Slowly, they both stopped moving.

Lifting up, his eyes darkened with emotion. He leaned down and kissed her so gently tears sprang to her

eyes.

What now?

Chapter 15

Nate settled Audrey more securely against him, keeping his weapon in sight. Peace threatened to dull his

senses. In the aftermath of the passionate storm, with Audrey sleeping in complete trust against him, he

allowed himself to relax.

She murmured and cuddled closer, her hand curling on top of his chest. Her warmth and soft skin

offered comfort he wasn’t strong enough to turn away from. The defenselessness of her position made him

want to tuck her close forever, but he couldn’t do that, even if she’d allow it. In three weeks, he’d probably

be dead, and she’d have to pick up the pieces again. Why do that to her?

The constant tension always riding his body finally calmed. She was the only person in the world

who’d ever been able to bring him peace. For that alone he’d love her forever.

Add in her courage, incredible intelligence, and the inherent kindness she’d had to bury, and Audrey

Madison was a miracle.

Just not his. The truth of that carved a hole in his chest more painful than any injury he’d ever

sustained.

He needed to stop pretending and living in the moment or they were both going to die even before the

chips exploded. How loud had they been? The music had played, and surely the commander’s men didn’t

have Nate’s hearing. Even so. For a precious few moments, Nate had forgotten about the threat outside.

That couldn’t happen again.

Checking in outside, he listened for the heartbeats of the three men, scrubbing out all other sounds.

They were still out there but not moving. Good.

Nate could afford to sleep for a brief time. He allowed himself to drop off, somehow not surprised in

the least to have the one dream he had more often than any other—the day he’d met Audrey.

The sun was strong, the smell of dirt stronger, and he’d had no clue his world was about to

change. The first time he met her, he had blood on his face. The training exercise had been brutal

that morning; he’d been brutal. He was tired of training, tired of killing. Most of all, he was tired

of being controlled by the people who had made him. But he knew the rules. If one of them failed to

return from a mission, they all died. He had three brothers, and he’d die for every single one of

them. He killed for them now. But a change was coming, and he held on to that hope.

“Hi,” she said as she stood in the sun next to the dark doorway, the red highlights in her black

hair absurdly out of place on the outskirts of the dismal training field.

He took the towel she offered and tried to wipe off the blood. She looked to be about nineteen,

younger than him, and innocence shone bright in her eyes. That wasn’t a place for innocence.

One look, and he could tell she was far different from the women who had shaped them in the

last ten years; they were hard, cynical, and had taught them more than anyone should know about

interrogation, sexual and otherwise. He had learned a long time ago that softness was an illusion.

“Are you Nathan?” she asked.

“Yes.” He growled it, uneasy as hell with her.

“I’m Audrey.” She held out a small hand for him to shake.

He shook her hand, feeling the fragile bones tremble slightly in his. She was afraid of him, but

her gaze remained calm and direct. Admiration welled through him.

“You’re supposed to train me,” she said.

“In what?” The thoughts of some of the ways he might train her ran unwelcomed through his

head. Beautiful and delicate, the woman drew him to her. Big blue eyes set in an oval face with

ivory skin tempted him, while she barely reached his shoulder in height.

“Basic hand-to-hand”—she gave a self-depreciating shrug—“just in case.”

“In case of what?” He could break her in two with minimal effort, and there wasn’t enough

time in the universe to protect her from somebody with his kind of training. Besides, why would