Blind Fury (6 page)

“I've heard of them.” She examined the device Dad had set on the table. “It looks like a remote control with a TV screen. Doesn't it work like a compass?”

Dad nodded. “Yes, but it actually stores positions. There's an instruction video that goes with it. If you don't mind, Sugar Bear, I thought we'd put your name on that.”

She nodded, relieved. “Sure. I'll pick up a birthday card tomorrow.”

Dad pulled out his wallet. “Here's your allowance and an extra fifteen dollars. Do you think you could get a cake too?”

“No need.” Anne retrieved the plate of cookies and set them out of reach on the counter. “I will bake the cake. Chocolate with lemon filling.”

Dad eyed the cookie plate. “Um, is that what he asked for?”

Anne shook her head. “No. But it is his favorite.” A long, low moo sounded as she lifted the lid to the cow-shaped cookie jar and began filling it with what was left of the snickerdoodles. “Dinner is salmon,” she said.

Kara stifled a giggle. Anne might as well have slapped Dad's hand. And she was right. Chocolate cake with lemon
filling
was
Greg's favorite. “There are candles in the junk drawer,” she told Anne, “and I saw some wrapping paper in the hall closet upstairs.”

Dad watched the last cookie disappear into the jar, then pushed back from the table. “All right. Looks like you two have it under control.” He gathered up the map and papers from the table, kissed the top of Kara's hair, and headed for his den.

B
Y
W
EDNESDAY
NIGHT
, the heifers with calves were penned inside the cowshed, while the rest of the herd grazed in the south pasture, where they could find shelter among scrub oak and ponderosa pines.

The bunkhouse walls were fully insulated and finished with a new coat of paint. The roof had been patched and the water pipes wrapped so they wouldn't freeze. Colin and Greg were all set to move back in after the birthday party, but Dad had other ideas.

“Colin, if you don't mind, I'd like you to stay in the house while Greg and I are gone.”

He didn't say, “I don't want the women to be alone,” but Kara knew that was the reason, and she felt a warm rush of gratitude. Not that she was afraid, but she liked it when everyone was together. It would be bad enough having Dad and Greg out in the middle of nowhere, let alone wondering if Colin was okay out in the bunkhouse by himself. Besides, Ryan enjoyed the male company.

“All right!” Ryan proved her thoughts by spraying mashed potatoes all over his placemat.

“Ryan Sheridan, not with your mouth full!” She handed him a napkin and watched him dab at a couple splotches of gravy.

He swallowed and wiped his mouth with the same napkin, spreading the white-and-brown mixture across his cheek and chin. “Colin likes my room. The bed is more comfortable, huh, Colin?”

Colin stopped with a fork full of peas halfway to his mouth. “Uh, sure, Partner. I'll be happy to keep you company.”

Ryan giggled at the John Wayne accent. Kara rolled her eyes and went back to cutting her roast beef. Anne had gone all out for Greg's birthday, adding rolls with real butter to his favorite meal.

After dinner, Anne shooed them all out of the kitchen and into the living room. “Time for presents,” she said. “We will clean later.”

Kara tried to ignore the tingle she felt when Colin sat next to her on the couch. They'd both been so busy lately, they'd hardly had time to say hello to each other. He hadn't mentioned last Friday night, or offered to go with her to this week's game. And she still hadn't asked him about the survival class.

Greg sat in the middle of the floor to open his gifts. That had been a tradition in their family ever since she could remember.

Colin was as excited over the GPS as Greg was. He even squeezed her hand when Greg opened the instruction video. “Whew, I thought we were going to have to read some hulking manual to learn how to work that thing,” he laughed.

“Yeah. This will make it a lot easier,” Greg agreed. “Thanks, Sis.”

Greg's smile as he looked at Kara was genuine. It made her feel warm all over to see him acting normal again. After their mom's death, it was like her brother had an evil twin who took his place. Now the bad twin had finally disappeared, and her real brother was back. She hoped it was for good.

Ryan handed him a wad of comic book paper rolled in scotch tape. Greg laughed, then hugged him when he opened it and found a waterproof case with at least a hundred matches.

Anne's gift was a long bundle rolled in tissue paper and tied with string. Everyone gasped when Greg carefully unrolled the new saddle blanket out onto the carpet. He traced the intricate red-and-black pattern with his finger. “You made this, didn't you?”

Kara knew it was true. When Anne had come back from Idaho, she had brought her loom with her and set it up in a corner of the family room. Kara had often seen her working on the blanket but promised not to say anything. Anne was always careful to put everything away before the men came in, and Kara had kept the secret.

Greg was still studying his gift. “Thank you, Anne. I-I don't know what to say. It's awesome.”

The cook's eyes softened. “A warm blanket is good for the outside of horse, and man.”

When Anne left the room to get the cake, Kara was sure she saw tears in her older brother's eyes.

After eating a small piece of cake, Kara excused herself and ran upstairs to finish her homework, but the words on the pages of her history book blurred as she wiped away her own tears. Would there ever be an end to the crying?

She picked up her Bible and found the list of verses the pastor had quoted at her mother's funeral. She found the one she was looking for at the bottom of the page. “Weeping
may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” Did that mean she would someday think about her mother with joy instead of sadness?

It had already been over a year. And if she were honest, they had all come a long way. Greg was staying out of trouble. Ryan came to her or Anne when he needed something, and that desperate look less and less often clouded her father's eyes.

“What about me, Lord?” she whispered. “Will I ever be able to forget her?”

She knew the answer to that.
Never
! But if these verses were true, and she believed they were, someday she would have only happy memories. She sighed and slipped the worn piece of notebook paper back into the pages of her Bible. At least her nightmares had stopped, she realized with a shock. They had been terrifying—she and Mom running from the car wreck through a raging fire, becoming separated in the thick, smothering smoke. Kara always made it out, but Mom never did.

“You would think being trapped by a forest fire would have made the dreams worse,” she told Tia later on the phone. “But I haven't had one since we came home.”

“Too weird,” Tia agreed.

After they hung up, Kara went downstairs to say goodnight and maybe talk Anne into a second piece of cake.

Everyone was gathered at the kitchen table. Ryan was busy slurping up a second bowl of ice cream, while the others once again bent over the map. Colin smiled as she took the empty seat next to her father. Anne set a bowl of ice cream in front of her.

Suddenly she didn't feel very hungry.

“Colin will go with us as far as Pinewood Meadow, so he can bring the truck and trailer back,” Dad said.

He turned to Greg. “When's Mark bringing in the radio?”

“Monday morning.”

Kara tried to push aside a new wave of fear. Since the fire, she sometimes felt afraid for no real reason. Her hands got sweaty, and her chest felt so heavy she had to concentrate to breathe. She felt like that now. Dad and Greg would be there three whole days without a radio. What would they do if something happened and they needed help?

“What's the weather report?” Greg asked.

Dad's voice sounded far away. “Cold and clear through Sunday. After that, it's anybody's guess.”

Kara kept her head down. Her hands were still shaking, but she was breathing better, and the feeling of panic was starting to pass.

Anne's hand squeezed her shoulder as she handed her a cup of hot tea. Kara picked out the scent of chamomile with a touch of lavender. One of Anne's special brews. She tried to say thank you, but the words wouldn't come.

“What's wrong with Kara?”

Ryan's loud question brought her head up. Everyone was staring. All she wanted to do was escape to her room. She tried to push back from the table, but her body had a different idea. It was like she was glued to the chair.
Oh, God, please don't let me faint again
! This was so embarrassing! What was wrong with her?

Dad laid a hand against her forehead. “No fever.”

Once again, Anne came to her rescue. “It is too hot in here, I think.”

Dad took his hand away but kept an eye on her as he folded the map and handed it to Greg. “Put this with the rest of the equipment. Then you and Colin better get some sleep. We've got a lot to do tomorrow.” His tone was polite but sharp. Colin and Greg jumped up and took off without a word.

“You too, Tiger.”

Ryan scowled. “Why?”

“Get ready for bed.” Dad's tone softened. “I'll be up before you go to sleep.”

Anne helped Ryan out of his chair and took his hand. “Come. You will pick out a story.”

Ryan scuffed his feet but went with Anne. Wakara wanted to follow them, but Dad's look told her to stay.

When the door swung shut behind them, he cleared his throat. “Okay, Sugar Bear, what's going on?”

She didn't know what to say. How could she tell him everything she was feeling when she didn't understand it herself?

“Are things okay at school?”

She nodded. “Fine.”

He sighed and began to study the inside of his coffee cup. She hated it when he got that wounded look. The last time she'd seen it was when Greg was in trouble. Now she was the one causing Dad pain, and that was the last thing she wanted.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break up your meeting.”

He looked up sharply. “You didn't break up anything, Wakara. I sent the boys away because I know something is bothering you, and I don't want to go away without at least trying to help.”

Her throat tightened. If this were Mom, she'd tell her how scared she was, and they'd both have a good cry. But Mom wasn't here. And Dad was leaving.

She had known for weeks that he'd be taking this trip, and she had dreaded it so much she'd pretended it wouldn't happen. Now he was going, and she couldn't do anything about it.

“I don't think you should go.” There, she'd said it. Now what?

Dad frowned. “Into Cutter's Gap? Why?”

Why? It was so obvious, how could he miss it! She didn't try to stop the irritation in her voice. “Dad! Look at how cold it is already. You said yourself no one can hunt in there this year, so what makes you think it's safe to scout?” She knew she sounded disrespectful, but she couldn't seem to stop herself.

“You won't even have a radio until Monday. And if it's too cloudy, Mark might not even be able to make it in. And what about the horses? The hay there is worthless from all that smoke, and there can't be any grass left.” Her eyes were tearing up, but she was too mad to care. “I was there. I know. That fire was so hot, nothing could have survived. All the animals were either roasted or they ran away. The elk are probably all in Alaska by now!” She stood up, amazed to hear herself practically shouting. “You can ground me for a year, but I don't want you to go!”

Dad looked like she'd just hit him with a brick. She wanted to stalk out of the room, but his eyes wouldn't let her.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again and buried his face in his hands.

Her defiance melted. She wanted to run into his arms like she had as a little girl, back when a hug was enough to make the hurt go away. “Dad, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said all that. Please don't cry.”

He lifted his head and ran a hand across his eyes. Kara couldn't believe it—tears were running down his cheeks all right, but he was actually laughing!

“Wakara Windsong Sheridan,” he said when he could talk again, “you sound just like your mother!”