BlindFire (6 page)

  At  this moment if  a  man of  the cloth could swear,  he would have at  the  top  of  his  voice. So  the  whole  Goddamn  world  could hear,  but  he  wouldn't  though,  he  would  simply  be  too  busy tomorrow  for  the  return  visit.  Turning to leave he looked up at the ceiling.  "So Boss, where were you then?"  He asked and left.

  Whenever
the veteran Paratrooper
slept
his demons awakened, unseen monsters creeping into his subconscious. Pricking memories of murderous minefields on the killing fields of
Iraq
and
Kuwait
. Gunfights against religious fanatics in
Afghanistan
and Ofcourse that terrible day in
Belfast
all those years before.  

  As  he  opened  his  eyes  he  could  make  out  the  shape  of  something or  someone  framing  the  doorway,  the  monsters?  He panicked and screamed as the beast advanced.  Terror surrounded him, enveloping him in its darkness.  He had to escape or at least defend himself.  Twisting  his  body  he  reached  out  and  grabbed  the  nearest  object,  then  slung  it  with  all  his  might.

  "Dan..! Danny
stop it’s me, Harry."

  The  jar  which he’d
thrown  missed  its  target  and  shattered against  the  wall  drenching  Harry  in  water.

  "For Gods sake
I look like I’ve pissed myself."

  Danny
didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Harry  had  been  his  closest  friend  for  years,  ever  since  basic  training.  They  had  even married  on  the  same  day,   each  being  the  best  man
  for  the others wedding. he
felt  as  if  he  hadn’t  seen  Harry  for  years  even though  it  had  only  been  a  couple  of  days.

  "How are you feeling?"   He asked and gingerly sat on the edge of the rooms’ only chair.  "Claire didn’t come..!” He offered as a conversation starter. “…stayed at home; she’s going to making us some dinner."

  "Us..?” Danny
frowned. “I’m not g
oing anywhere until I know Tom is out of the woods..!" He
cried and shuffled up the bed
and into a sitting position. 
"Is this your idea or the Doctors?  I  thought  I’d  be staying  here  for  another  couple  of  days  at  least." 

"The Colonel wants you to come home with me. He thinks you need to be with people you know"

  “No..! I need to see Tommy
! I need to be with my son..!”

  “I’ll go and see what I can arrange.” Harry said and quickly left the room, only to return moments later his eyes burning with excitemen
t and streaming with tears. “Dan, Tommy’s
wide awake..! Sat up in bed eating corn flakes without a care in the world..! They’ve got him in the room next door.”

  The big soldier
let out a huge sigh of relief. “He’s going to be alright… Help me get out of bed I want to go and see him.”

  "Have you  got  any  other  clothes  apart  from  the  ones  you  wore that  day?"

  "I haven’t even got those, forensics took them away."

  "Well,  lets see what I  can  get  from  that  lovely  nurse  down  the corridor.  I’ll be back in a minute."

  One minute? Danny
couldn’t wait one more second; swinging his legs out of the bed he placed them on the cold floor and stood up.

  Nurses busying themselves paid no attention to the large framed soldier as he stood in the middle of the corridor. He in turn hardly noticed them because he was staring at a door which led to his son and the bad news he would have to tell him.

  Tommy’s
face beamed as soon as he saw his dad. “Daddy..!” He cried.

  “Hello Soldier.” Danny said
and sat on the edge of the bed. “How you feeling..? Does it hurt..?”

  Tommy
shook his head. “A little bit maybe.”

  “Well the doctors and nurses tell me that you’ve been a very brave little boy.”

  “When is Sahra comi
ng to see me?” The boy
asked brightly.

  His father
ignored the question. “I’m going to need you to be very brave again… Because I’ve got something very, very bad to tell you…”

  “That bad man hurt mummy! Didn’t he?”

  “Yes he did.” Danny
said softly and then took a deep breath. “Mummy is in heaven now…”

    The boy hugged his dad tight as tears streamed down his cheeks. “Will the bad man come back?” He sobbed.

  “I won’t let him hurt you again..! I promise.”

  Eventually the little boy
fell asleep in his dad’s arms.

***

     Danny
began to wonder how all the lads back at camp would receive him.  Then  his  heart  sank  when  for  the  first  time  he  realised  he  would  have  to  arrange the funeral. He didn’t even know how many coffins yet. If she wasn’t dead, then where
the hell
was she? Someone must know? Maybe the police had found her? Perhaps that nut job had taken her.

  He became restless, it seemed like Harry had been gone for ages. He got  out  of  bed,  at  first unsteady on his feet  then walked  slowly to  the  window and  pressed his forehead  against  the cool glass. He stood there some seconds soaking up the life below. The noises from the hospital forecourt drifted up, cries of pain, babies screaming and friends bidding each other farewell.

   Soon Harry returned an
d Danny
was dressed in borrowed clothes in m
inutes. After sitting with Tom
for a couple of hours the two men promised him they would return the next day and after saying goodbye to the Doctor and the Nurses they made for the car

  "Has there been any news
about my Daughter yet?" Danny
asked.

  "No, they didn’t mention her on the news, so that must be good."

  "I just don’t get it! Where the hell did she get to?"

  "We’ll find her mate! Virtually every soldier in the garrison has been out looking for her."

  Danny
  stopped  by  the  exit  and  shuffled  his  arm  around  in  the  sling for  greater  comfort.  "I can’t wait to get this damned thing off."

  "Did the bullet go straight through?"

  "I  don't  know  to  be  honest,  they  didn't  tell  me  much  about anything  especially  my  wound." Of course the doctors had told him all about the wound; he just didn’t feel like talking about it.

  The other people in the foyer seemed entranced by the conversation,  they  all  knew  exactly  who  he  was  and  what  had happen  to him. Some  stared  others  tried  hard  to  ignore  this  man they  had  seen  on  the  TV  but  found  their  gaze  drawn back  to  him  again  and  again.

  Realising  that  they  were  being  stared  at,  the  two  men  left  the building  and  hurriedly  made  for  the  car.

  "Just ignore them mate! You do realise you’re going to get a lot of that..!"   Harry said and threw a glance
over his
shoulder
. "You hungry..?"

  "Since you mention it, yes I am."

  Harry nodded his head in the general
direction of the hospital cafe
. "Good,
Come on,
let’s get something to eat."

 
Even though it was an  hospital canteen  you  still  had  to  queue up  behind  the cockroaches,  spiders and  flies  to  make  an  order.

  "Actually, I’m not that hungry anymore." 
Danny
w
hispered.  "It’s hardly five star services, is it?

  Harry frowned. “We’ll get something on the way.”  And then they both left without ordering.

  As  the  car 
drew  nearer  to  Osnabruck  Danny
began  to  feel  sick,  his gut  twisted  one  way  and  then  the  other.  He  knew  it  wasn't  travel sickness,  it  was  sheer  panic.  The thought of going back and facing the guys, all the questions they were bound to ask.
He knew what they would be thinking: Why didn’t he see the car following them? Why couldn’t the big hard paratrooper prevent his wife from being murdered? What else would they be saying and thinking behind his back.

  "Can you take me to my quarter first?  I need some things."
He said and tried to banish those thoughts from his mind.

  "Are you sure?"   Harry asked surprised at the request.

  The rest of the journey from
Rinteln
Military
Hospital
passed in silence.  While  Harry  tried  to  think  of  something
  interesting to talk about, Danny
  simply  blanked  out  and  thought  of  nothing.

  Eventually   they  reached  the  Army quartering  area  of  Osnabruck  known as  Belm,  as  the  car  moved  slowly   down 
the  main  street  Danny
  began  to
feel the paranoia setting in as he
notice
d
twitching curtains in some of the windows.

 
  "Well we’re here now.  Do you still want to go in?"

  "I must..... 
Will you come in with me?"  He
  saw  the  look  on Harry’s  face  and  wished  he'd  never  asked.

  "Sure...."
Harry said as he looked up at the
fla
t and swallowed hard.

  Everything  was  as  they  had  left  it  on  t
hat  fateful  Sunday.  Danny
could  still  smell  the  freshness  of  the  shampoo  he  had  used.  He  felt a strange fear  as  he  moved  about  the  flat,  fear  that  he  could  walk  in  to  his daughters  bedroom  and  find   her  sat  there  playing  with  her dolls as  if nothin
g  had  ever  happened.  Tommy’s
  bed  wasn't  even  made  and  his Garfield  Pajamas still lay  in  a  pile  on  the  floor  at  the  foot  of  the  bed. The  rooms all  had  a  cold and dead  feeling  to  them,  something  like  a  museum.

  "Look Harry."  Danny
said pointing to the bathroom floor.  "It’s dry now....  I should clean it up......"

  "What are you talking about mate?"

  "The mud....  I  told  her  I  would  clean  it  up  when  it  was  dry...." He
got a whiff of Claudia’s perfume bottle which was sitting on the window ledge and
suddenly broke down sobbing like a child.  "Why did he kill her...? Why?"

  Harry awkwardly took  Danny
  in  his  arms  and  choked  back  the  tears  himself.  "I don’t know why mate.  But  I  know  that  you  are  alive  and  it  must  be  for  a reason."

  "I just want them back.....  God,   I loved them so much."   He wiped his face with the back of his hand and sniffled.  "I can’t do this;   I can’t carry on without her."   He  fell  to  his  knees,   his  legs  felt  like  jelly  and   crumpled beneath  him.  "They’ve gone.  My girls,   my wife.......  All gone...  And they’re never coming back."

  Harry  turned  to  the  window  his  lips  trembling  as  he  tasted  the  first  salty  tears  o
n  his  lips.  "I’m so sorry Dan
...  We all loved them. But  you  must  be  strong,  somewhere  out
  there  is a little girl waiting  for  her
  dad  to
come  and  get  her
. They
both
need you, and they need you to be strong…
They need their Paratrooper..!"                           

  Danny sniffed again and wiped his face.
  "I  suppose  your   right,   yeah,  she  does  need  me  to  be  strong."
  He said
.  "I'll  just  get  a  few  of  the  things  I need,  then  we  can  go."

  He  wandered  aimlessly  around  the  flat  his  body  still  trembled  as  he  tried  not  to  look  at  anything  to  do  with  his  wife  or  kids.  But  it was  hard,  he  never  wanted  to  come  back  to  this  place
again
  there  were just  too  many  memories,  he  had  to  get  out  forever.

  "Come on mate...  Let’s go."

  "When I w
ant to go, I’ll go." He snapped the anger
nev
er far from the surface.

  For a split second their eyes met.  The  message  was  pure  and simple,   Harry  had  seen  it  before  in   Northern  Ireland  on  the  faces of  the  woman  who  spat  on  patrolling  soldiers  and  the  children  who stoned  them.  It was hatred, pure and simple hatred.

  "Sorry,   I don’t kn
ow what’s happening to me."  Danny
said and picked his combat boots
up.  "It’s just that I’m scared.  I  have  this strange  feeling  in  my  gut,  it’
s beyond anger and revenge?  I
t’s far worse than that.... It's a compulsion to
find him, hunt him down! All I want is two minutes with him,
not just to see him
die but I want make him suffer before I kill him.”

  With  one  last  sweeping  look  he  turned  and  left  taking  with  him the  type  of  memories  no  one  could  ever  destroy.