Authors: Josephine Cox
Before she even got started, Alice was right beside her. ‘I’ll do the potatoes if you want?’ she told Nancy, and Nancy was only too pleased to be rid of the tedious task. ‘Good girl!’ she said. ‘You do that, while I make a start on the apple pie.’
Through the kitchen window she could see Joe disappearing over the headland. ‘I do hope he decides to stay,’ she murmured to herself, ‘I’ve missed him so.’
She had fully enjoyed her little chat with Alice, though she wondered if she had imparted a little too much. All the same, she had said nothing that should worry Alice. It was true! Frank
did
adore the ground Alice walked on, and according to what Alice had told her, she felt the very same towards Frank. It was a comforting thought.
All she wanted now was for her youngest son to stay with the family. Once Frank and Alice were wed, and moved out, this delightful farmhouse would be a lonely place; especially with Tom always hiding behind his blessed newspaper!
She looked out the window again. There was no sign of Joe at all now.
Joe took the long road, up the rise and down alongside the brook to the bottom field. He had no wish to soak himself by paddling through the brook. He thought of Alice and smiled. ‘No doubt Alice would have gone straight through the water.’
He saw himself in Alice; a free spirit. No one should ever shackle her, he thought. No one should ever deaden her spirit and break her heart, and most of all, no one should ever change what and who she was. That would be unforgiveable.
In his mind he went over the events of the past year. He thought of how his own spirit had been broken; though here and now, among the fields and trees with only the soothing sound of nature in his ears, at long last he was beginning to heal.
Pausing in his stride, he glanced up at the shifting skies. ‘You helped me,’ he murmured, as though to some unseen presence. ‘You helped me stay strong, when life became impossible.’
This past year there had been many bad times when he was close to despair. But day by day he had forced himself to look forward. He thought of his family, and especially Alice, and somehow, through those dark days and nights, he had managed to survive.
Thankfully it was over now, and this beautiful place where he had grown from boy to man, was slowly reaching out, to strengthen his faith, and purpose. Giving him the ability to rise above anything that life might test him with.
He rested a moment, up there at the top of the world. He felt such peace, and a sense of joy that he had not felt for a long time.
Back there, when he had sat with his father and talked of days gone by, Joe had come dangerously close to confiding in him. There was one moment of madness when he felt the need to open his heart and reveal the truth. But he couldn’t. It would have destroyed his father, who was a man
of principle; a simple, uncomplicated man, who would never understand.
Joe was glad he had resisted the need to confide his secret, because to do that would be to relieve his own guilt, and that was no reason to hurt someone you loved.
As he rounded the spinney, he heard what sounded like a cry for help, and then angry shouting that grew louder as he came near. ‘Who the devil’s that!’ Taking off at the run, he came to a clearing where he saw Frank standing over someone or something on the ground. Holding what looked like a chain, he was lashing out like a madman. ‘Frank!’ He was horrified when he realised it was Jimmy on the ground, crouched on his knees with his two arms crossed over his head, while Frank swung the chain at him, again and again.
Horrified, Joe broke into a run. ‘Frank…what the hell d’you think you’re doing!’
Frank took no notice. Instead, he lashed out again and again, screaming and shouting like someone demented.
‘Stop it, Frank!’ Joe was almost on him. ‘DON’T BE A DAMNED FOOL! LAY OFF HIM, FRANK…FOR GOD’S SAKE LEAVE HIM BE!’
Launching himself at Frank, he threw him aside. ‘What’s wrong with you, have you gone mad?’
With difficulty he managed to keep his brother away while helping Jimmy up off the ground. Bloodied, and crying like a baby, Jimmy clung to Joe. ‘He went crazy…tried to kill me!’ When Frank made a threatening move towards him, Jimmy cowered away. ‘It weren’t my fault! Don’t let him get near me.’
Each time Frank made a move towards Jimmy, Joe came between them. ‘What’s this all about?’ he asked Jimmy. ‘You said it wasn’t your fault? What did you mean?’
‘I tried to mend it, but the chain came off in my hands. It weren’t my fault. The tractor’s old and knackered. It wants breaking for spares, that’s all it’s good for!’
With blood running down his arm and an open gash across his cheek, he was shaking, his eyes wide with terror. ‘It weren’t my fault,’ he kept saying. ‘It weren’t my fault.’
When Frank started towards him again, Joe took Jimmy out of his reach. Behind him Frank began pacing back and forwards like a trapped animal.
Relieved that Jimmy had managed to protect himself from serious injury, Joe told him worriedly, ‘You need to get those cuts seen to. I’ll help you. Just hang on a minute…I need to have a quick word with Frank.’
Jimmy shook his head. ‘I’m all right. I don’t need no help!’ He glanced nervously at Frank, who was now leaning forward on the tractor, thumping his clenched fists against the engine cover. ‘It’s
him
as needs help!’ Jimmy cursed. ‘Bloody lunatic, that’s what he is!’
‘Leave him to me,’ Joe calmly advised. ‘And listen, Jimmy, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t let Mum or Dad find out about this.’
Jimmy frowned. ‘Don’t worry! I’m not likely to go about telling everybody how I cowered on the ground while Frank Arnold gave me a thrashing!’
He cast a hateful glance towards Frank. ‘You should watch him, Joe! I’m sorry, I know he’s your brother an’ all, but…’ he dropped his voice to a whisper, ‘…sometimes, it’s like he’s not right in the head.’
Joe gave him a gentle but firm warning. ‘It’s not wise to say those things, Jimmy.’
Jimmy nodded. He had got the message.
Realising how things could easily kick off again, Joe told him, ‘If you’re sure you don’t need me, it might be best if you go now, and get that gash seen to.’ That was the one injury that worried him. The rest seemed superficial, but the gash was deep and long. ‘Look! I’d rather make sure you get back; if you’ll just wait on a minute, I need to have a quick word with Frank.’
He saw how Frank was deeply agitated.
He knew the signs.
‘Thanks all the same, but I’d rather go on my own.’ Jimmy ran his fingers along the gash. ‘Look! It’s already stopped bleeding.’
Joe conceded, ‘All right, but mind how you go. Oh, and it might be best if you stay away altogether, for now. I’ll come and find you when things have calmed down.’
‘What about me wages?’ Jimmy demanded. ‘I’m due a week’s wages? I can’t live without no money, can I?’
Joe turned to Frank. ‘He’s right! Give him his wages.’
Frank rounded on him, ‘LIKE HELL I WILL! JUST GET THE USELESS BASTARD OUT OF MY SIGHT, BEFORE I FINISH HIM OFF.’
Jimmy yelled back, ‘I TOLD YOU THE TRACTOR WERE FINISHED, BUT YOU WOULDN’T LISTEN!’
When Frank came at a run towards them, Joe gave Jimmy a shove. ‘Get out of here! I’ll see to your wages. Go on…go!’
As Jimmy went, half-limping, half-running, Frank’s angry voice followed him. ‘You’ll get no wages from me. You’re finished. D’you hear? If I clap eyes on you again, I’ll shoot you on sight!’
Once out of Frank’s reach, Jimmy gave as good as he got. ‘You’re a bloody lunatic, Frank Arnold! You want locking up!’
Frank retaliated with a warning blast from his shotgun, the shock of which sent the birds soaring from the trees. ‘See that? it’ll be you next time!’
Laughing out loud, Frank swung round to face his brother. ‘I bet that put the fear of God in him, eh?’
Joe wasn’t laughing. ‘You hurt him bad, Frank. If I hadn’t come along, you might even have finished him off. Is that what you planned, Frank. To kill him?’
Frank showed no remorse. ‘What the hell good is he, eh?’ he demanded. ‘He can never do a single thing right! He’s completely buggered the job.’
Joe studied his brother for a brief moment. He was no stranger to Frank’s rage. He had seen it many times before, when they were younger.
Beneath Joe’s steady gaze, Frank grew uncomfortable. ‘What the devil are you staring at?’
‘
You.
’ Joe was unmoved. ‘I’m staring at you, Frank. And I don’t like what I see.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It means you should learn to control your temper, before it gets you in real trouble.’
Frank gave a loud laugh. ‘What. Like this y’mean?’ Raising the shotgun, he levelled it at his brother.
Joe stood firm. ‘I thought you might have got all the nastiness out of your system by now,’ he said quietly. ‘I can see I was wrong. If anything, you’re worse than you ever were.’
Keeping the shotgun level, Frank took a step closer. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about!’ He knew
exactly
what Joe was talking about, and it unnerved him.
‘I could shoot you here and now. I could say it was an accident…that you ran at me, and the gun just went off.’
Opening his arms, Joe invited. ‘Go on then, Frank. Shoot me. You can explain it any way you like to Mum and Dad, but in the end you’ll be found out. I could have told Mum years ago what you were like, but I didn’t, because you were my brother, and I loved you. I even kept quiet when you tried to drown me in the brook just because I accidentally dislodged your keep net. They never knew that. And they never will, at least not from me.’
‘They’d never believe you.’
‘Maybe not, but you and I know what you did, and one day, when you think they’re not looking and your temper gets the better of you…that’s when they’ll see you for what you really are.’
‘You’d better shut your mouth, Joe!’
Undeterred, Joe went on, ‘They might even begin to ask questions, about how when you were twelve, you took their beloved dog for a walk. You told them it ran off, but some time later they found it, clumsily buried in a shallow grave down the spinney. They said he must have disturbed intruders making for the big house, but I never believed that. I’ve always had my suspicions.’
Frank said nothing, but the guilt was written all over his face.
‘It
was
you, wasn’t it, Frank? Mum and Dad believed the story about the intruders. But they knew how jealous you were of that little dog, and it wouldn’t take much for them to realise what might have happened. Oh, and what about that girl from the village? She came to do the housework when Mum was laid up with a sprained ankle. What happened to the girl, Frank? Why was she there one minute, and gone the next?’
It was a question he had always wanted to ask, and now was the time. ‘What did you do to her, Frank? When I saw her in the village a week later, she wouldn’t even talk to me.’
His voice dropped to a whisper. ‘You frightened her, didn’t you, Frank? You must have done something really bad to make her run away like that.’
‘I didn’t do
anything
! She was a real scaredy cat, frightened of everything! I didn’t do anything to make her run away.’
‘Right. So, when you go back and tell everyone that you accidentally shot and killed me, what will you do when Jimmy finds the courage to tell it like it really was?’
He glanced towards the rise. ‘For all we know, he might even be up there…spying on us. In any case, if you killed me, there are bound to be questions: lots of difficult questions, Frank. So go on, shoot me. If that’s what you really want.’
Realising that for the moment Joe had him exactly where he wanted him, Frank slowly lowered the gun to his side. ‘You should be ashamed,’ he snarled. ‘You care nothing about Mum
and Dad. First chance you got, you cleared off…left me to do all the work round this place. You took off without a single thought for anybody! A couple of months, that’s what you said when you left. If I hadn’t traced you to that pub, you might
never
have come back.’
‘That was clever of you…contacting the pubs.’
‘I always get what I want.’
‘So, why did you trace me, Frank?’
‘You already know why! I wanted you to be my best man.’
‘That’s not enough, Frank. I know you! Me being your best man is neither here nor there as far as you’re concerned. There must be another reason why you wanted me back.’
‘All right! There was, yes. I wanted you to see how I’ve changed; how I’ve found someone to love me. Most of all, I needed to show you how I’ve kept this place going without you.’
His face darkened. ‘You left me here to rot. You can’t even begin to know what it’s been like!’
Frantically pacing up and down with the gun by his side, he ran his two hands through his hair. ‘After Dad hurt his leg and couldn’t do it anymore, it was up to me. Hard, back-breaking work, seven days a week, through all the seasons, morning ‘til night, with no proper life of my own.’
His features softened. ‘Then, one day at the Bedford market, I met Alice. She liked me straight off, so we started going out, whenever I could snatch an hour here or an evening there. For the first time ever, I began to see what life could really be like, and now we’re getting wed. I wanted you to come back and be my best man, because I wanted you to see that I’ve got the best girl in the world.’
Throwing out his arms, he laughed crazily. ‘I got myself a life, Joe! So now you see, I’m no different from anybody else. I had to show you how it’s me and not you, who makes Mum and Dad proud. I’m able to knuckle down, keep the farm
going, and soon I’ll be wed and then I’ll give them the grandchildren they’ve always wanted.
I’ll
be the man, Joe! That’s all I wanted you to know.
I will be the man!
’
Joe felt a surge of guilt. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t here, Frank. You’ve done well.’ But he knew Frank too well to accept it was that simple.
He gave a long slow smile. ‘All the same, you’ll need to do more than
be the man
if you hope to convince me that you’ve changed.’
‘But I have changed!’
Joe knew different. ‘What do you think people would say if they’d seen you beating Jimmy?’