Blood Crave 2 (42 page)
Authors: Jennifer Knight
Tags: #Social Issues, #Love & Romance, #Vampires, #College Students, #Juvenile Fiction, #Paranormal, #General, #Romance, #Werewolves, #Dating & Sex, #Fiction, #Occult & Supernatural
I hung up before he could contest.
I curled my hands over my face, crying out with loss and frustration. I hated Derek for going back to the vampires and I
hated
this fear. I wasn’t this weak person.
hated
this fear. I wasn’t this weak person.
I sniffed loudly and straightened. I couldn’t live my life like this. I couldn’t do anything about the uprising, but I could certainly help my friend. I had to at least
try
.
try
.
But I needed some help to do it.
I needed—damn it, I needed Lucas.
At the thought of asking him for help, the scars I’d built around the wound in my heart twanged with an almost unimaginable pain. Suddenly, his voice was in my head, too loud to ignore as I usually did.
I won’t be too proud to accept your help.
It only made me grit my teeth harder against the idea. It wasn’t just pride keeping me from approaching Lucas again after all this time. It was fear. Seeing Lucas would probably send me right back to that pathetic ball of tears I used to be. But he’d be able to help me. And I had no other options.
I won’t be too proud to accept your help.
It only made me grit my teeth harder against the idea. It wasn’t just pride keeping me from approaching Lucas again after all this time. It was fear. Seeing Lucas would probably send me right back to that pathetic ball of tears I used to be. But he’d be able to help me. And I had no other options.
I drew in a big breath, snatched up my phone and marched up to Lucas’s room, making it all the way to his door before doubt halted me.
What if he opened the door and I found him with someone else? What if he’d moved on? What if he didn’t care that Heather was gone? And that I was scared out of my mind that I would be next? What if he told me to go away?
What if he wasn’t even
there
?
there
?
I shook my head, shoving the doubt away, and pounded my fist on the door before I could stop myself.
Okay, it’s over. I did it. I knocked. Now I just have to wait until he—
Okay, it’s over. I did it. I knocked. Now I just have to wait until he—
Lucas opened the door immediately. His eyes met mine and blazed silver, but he blinked and they were brown once more. It happened so quickly I wasn’t sure if I’d actually seen it.
We stood there staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. Now that I was there, looking at him after all these many weeks of longing to see his face, I didn’t know what to say. Words seemed so inadequate. Kissing would be much more appropriate or maybe crying hysterically.
The seconds continued to pass as though we were stuck in a time warp.
My skin caught fire beneath his gaze, and the flames rippled deep down into my bones. My only thought was him.
Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.
Over and over like a train fallen off its tracks, wild and aimless, heading toward disaster.
Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.
Over and over like a train fallen off its tracks, wild and aimless, heading toward disaster.
Then there was a sound. A sound I’d dreamt of, soft and grating like the low end of a guitar. Rough to the ear, but somehow perfect. Somehow better than any other sound in the world.
“Is something wrong?” Lucas asked.
It took a moment for the shock to wear off. For me to realize that I had to answer.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“Tell me.”
Then I stopped being amazed that I was actually talking to him and really took him in. His expression was blank. No scowl. No smirk. Nothing. Not even a vibe to go off of. Just ... indifference.
Somehow that crushed me more than anything else up to that point.
He didn’t care that I was there. He didn’t care that something was wrong. He just wanted me to go away. To leave him alone. I almost did it, but then I thought of Heather. This wasn’t just about me. She needed my help, too.
“Heather’s missing,” I said. “The people that were killed last night—I was supposed to be with them. I think ... I think the vampires are coming for me.”
Something flickered across his features, but he hid it too quickly for me to read.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll take care of it.”
I felt my eyebrows drop into a frown.
“Take care of it. . . . ,” I repeated.
“I’ll get a pack member to guard you. I can ask Katie if you want her. Or Julian.”
I looked away, gasping with the pain of those words. It was like being consumed by fire from the inside out. I wouldn’t have been surprised if my fingers started turning black and cracking off. My mind was screaming,
Tell him you want
him
. Tell him!
Tell him you want
him
. Tell him!
But my mouth didn’t listen.
“That will be fine,” I said, emotionless. “Thank you.”
Lucas just nodded, his expression growing softer the longer he looked at me until finally, I saw the yearning I felt reflected in him. “You’re hurt,” he said softly, touching his fingers lightly to the place where I’d hit my head.
I should have told him about Melissa, but I couldn’t stand being around him a second longer. Besides, he had to smell her on me, and he obviously didn’t care enough about it to “take care” of it himself. I had to get out of there, start healing myself all over again.
I swallowed hard and took a step back, turning slowly so I wouldn’t go nuts and start running away from him the way I’d done every day for the past two months. I blinked and he was gone. There was only the long hallway that led to the stairs, and surrounding the edges of my vision, scalding yellow flames. I took two steps away from him. Smoke clouded my lungs, making my eyes tear up. It was so hard to breathe. I could think only of collapsing like the building he’d painted those many months ago. My life was on fire now, all right, but I was trapped inside one of the windowpanes, unable to escape while the fire licked my skin into oblivion.
You can do this. Just walk away. Walk away and let him go.
The thought was enough to make tears spill down my cheeks and threaten to bring me to my knees.
Then Lucas’s voice came from behind me, low and hoarse as though parched.
“Faith.”
For a moment, I wasn’t sure I’d I heard it. Was I hallucinating? Was I that desperate?
I stopped walking and I heard it again, softer this time, and pleading with me . . . begging me to stay.
I spun around and ran to him, unable to stay away a second longer. He gathered me in his strong arms and held me, murmuring my name over and over as he pulled me so close I thought I would sink into him completely. I cried freely as I ran my hands down his back, his sides, over his shoulders, his neck ... everywhere. Was this a dream? Could this really be happening? I held his face between my hands, halfway believing I
was
asleep and at any moment, I would awake to find my hands empty. Unable to even conceive of the thought, I rose up onto my tiptoes and smoothed my cheek against his, reveling in the mix of stubble and soft skin for as long as I could. If this was all I had—this one blissful dream—I wasn’t going to waste it.
was
asleep and at any moment, I would awake to find my hands empty. Unable to even conceive of the thought, I rose up onto my tiptoes and smoothed my cheek against his, reveling in the mix of stubble and soft skin for as long as I could. If this was all I had—this one blissful dream—I wasn’t going to waste it.
He turned his head, murmuring something I couldn’t understand, and our lips touched.
Immediately, the flames died. My body calmed for the briefest of moments, soothing everything, down to my soul. And then it erupted again, but with a different kind of heat. It was an all-consuming fire and it rippled through my veins like crackling fireworks, making me absolutely crazy. I started to pull back, panting, but Lucas only clutched me closer with a warning growl as if daring me to try it again.
As if I ever would.
He kissed me hard, snatching me around the waist as he pulled me into his room and slammed my back against the door. His hands were everywhere, searching me up and down as I had, as if unable to believe I was real. His mouth was crushing on top of mine, and I loved it. I crushed him right back and yanked his T-shirt over his head so I could dig my nails into the perfect, caramel skin on his back. I smiled at his hiss of pain. He reciprocated with a sharp nibble on my lower lip and then a smile of his own when I gasped into his mouth.
Everything was Lucas. Everything was hot, burning me, melting away all thoughts of caution or control. Everything was about wanting him, needing him. All of him.
“Lucas,” I said through his lips.
He just moaned, shaking his head against my interruption.
“Don’t stop,” I breathed. “Please, don’t stop.”
He paused, panting. His sweet breath inoculated me, taking me to a new level of abandon as his eyes searched mine. I saw doubt pass through them, concern. And then they began to smolder; they strayed to my lips and scorched them. I lurched forward to kiss him as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He didn’t say a word. He hefted me up and lowered me to the floor, not even thinking to bother with the bed. My jeans came off, then his. He tugged my shirt off and then undid my bra as I fumbled around with his boxers.
He chuckled in my ear and paused to pull them down himself. Any other time, his amusement might have bugged me, but I couldn’t have cared less.
All I cared about was his lips on mine, his body moving over me, and his voice saying my name, telling me he loved me. All that mattered was Lucas and me, loving each other for as long as we could.
M
uch later, we lay together on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and grinning like a couple of idiots.
uch later, we lay together on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and grinning like a couple of idiots.
Lucas turned his head to mine and said, “Wow. . . .”
I laughed. “That’s an understatement if I ever heard one.”
He snuggled closer, burying his face into my hair and inhaling deeply. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he whispered in my ear.
I shook my head. “You were surprisingly gentle ... after the first time.”
Lucas groaned, half laughing as though embarrassed. “It’s been a while,” he admitted.
“But you didn’t change,” I said, awed.
“Because of you. You kept me in control.” He nuzzled his nose into my throat and made my body tremble with aftershocks.
“I wasn’t sure I could do it,” I admitted. “Since I was so, you know ... distracted.”
Lucas laughed softly as he rested his head on my chest. “It was perfect.”
I smiled and said, “I know.” I hesitated before saying what I wanted to say next, not wanting to bring it up and ruin the moment. But it was bursting out of me. “I’ve missed you,” I whispered finally. Lucas pressed his lips against my skin, his brows drooping into a frown. “I felt dead without you,” I said. “Like a shell ... like I was burning.” I felt a sob try and choke off my words, but I repressed it. I had to get this out. “I’m so sorry. I was so wrong. About Derek, about what he is. You were right to be jealous. I would have been.”
Lucas rose onto his elbows and looked down at me. His eyes were sweet, warm, and seeping into my soul like they’d never left at all.
“I was a jerk,” he said. “I was selfish. I wanted all of you. But I can see now that Derek has a place in your heart that I can’t ever be a part of.” I started to protest but he put his fingers on my lips. “It’s okay. I know now that the part Derek has is only friendship and that you’ve been so crazy over him because you feel guilty. You probably don’t want to hear this, but I think you gotta tell him that you’re the one who made me bite him. You gotta ease your guilt and start living your life again.”
I nodded as tears trailed across my cheeks. Lucas wiped them away with his thumbs.
“You’re right,” I said. “I never should have made you bite him in the first place. It was the biggest mistake of my life.”
Lucas shushed me. “You made that choice out of love, out of compassion for your friend. Just because it didn’t turn out exactly like you’d hoped, doesn’t mean it was a mistake.”
“Yes, it does,” I sniffled. “I should have just left him to be a vampire. Then at least he’d have a place in the world.”
“Faith, if you’d let Derek become a vampire, he’d be fully dead inside. No soul left, none of his personality. Now, because of you, he’s still himself. Now, he can make a choice—something none of us ever get the chance to do—about whether he wants to be like the vampires or not.”
I sniffled again as Lucas went on, stroking the tears away with his fingertips. “A bad thing happened to Derek. He got bitten by Vincent because he was trying to help the girl he loved.” He placed a soft kiss on my cheek. “But what happens after that—the choice he makes now—that’s got nothing to do with you. Just because you’re plagued with a curse, doesn’t mean you get a license to be a monster.”
Deep down, I knew he was right. I wasn’t sure if I could let Derek go, but I had to try. I couldn’t keep trying to control everything. Because there was very little of life that
could
be controlled. Not my power, not my friends or the choices they made, and not my relationship with Lucas. I couldn’t control the horrible things going on around me, and sometimes I couldn’t even help stop them—but I could learn to deal with them like an adult instead of throwing a hissy fit and acting out. “He’s hanging out with the vampires again,” I said. “I don’t know when he’ll be back or even
if
he’ll be back. I might not ever get the chance to talk to him. I totally failed. He’s one of them now.” I buried my face in his chest. “What are we going to do? The uprising is happening and now they have Derek.”
could
be controlled. Not my power, not my friends or the choices they made, and not my relationship with Lucas. I couldn’t control the horrible things going on around me, and sometimes I couldn’t even help stop them—but I could learn to deal with them like an adult instead of throwing a hissy fit and acting out. “He’s hanging out with the vampires again,” I said. “I don’t know when he’ll be back or even
if
he’ll be back. I might not ever get the chance to talk to him. I totally failed. He’s one of them now.” I buried my face in his chest. “What are we going to do? The uprising is happening and now they have Derek.”
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