Blood Dark (4 page)

And Caitlin
could
have been a part of it. Instead, she’d gone back to
them
.

Despite thinking he’d understood her, the evidence of that choice had proved that things went on behind those eyes that he could never predict – even now. And their first-ever encounter would always be with him, nagging away at the back of his mind: that split-second when he’d used her gun to shoot Morgan and had felt the unexpected backstab of the hemlock she’d laced it with. He’d let his guard down, he hadn’t seen it coming; he’d underestimated her. He’d fucked up once around her. And now, more than ever, he couldn’t afford to fuck up again.

Because he didn’t know what Sirius had said to her whilst he’d laid down his threat. He didn’t know what threats Sirius had made to her, what deals he had laid out, or what he still had planned for her.

Furthermore, seeing her there, back on the job, back in her “uniform”, reminded him that he wasn’t enough for her; or that she didn’t trust him enough to think she was enough for him. Caitlin had put him – had put their relationship – second to her job the minute she had returned to the VCU. Now, since Sirius’s threat, he had even greater reason to do the same. Because although it should have been a unifying cause, just like the soul-ripper had been, neither could ignore that, ultimately, she worked for Throme. Ultimately everyone she was surrounded by worked for Throme.

‘We
need
to talk,’ she added.

He looked down at where her grip barely encompassed his wrist, her knuckles pale, a slight tremor in her hand. But when he looked back into her eyes, her gaze and her resolve were steady. The dichotomy was there again: the vulnerable with the tenaciousness and the plea with the command.

But she didn’t call the shots. She’d lost that right when she’d thrown him the curveball of her return. More to the point, with a potential lycan and west-side vampire war to prevent, let alone Phia – the serryn and potential key to the vampire prophecy – on the cusp of falling into Caleb’s hands, sitting around discussing his and Caitlin’s relationship was indulgent.

Negligent.

But he knew, at some point, he was going to have to face it head on and deal with it. They were
both
going to have to face up to the reality that this wasn’t going to work without one of them making a sacrifice neither was willing to make.

Until then, he had to keep a distance. He wasn’t ready to push her away but neither could he afford to fall deeper – especially if she was playing him.

She
had put them both in that position.

She
had made that choice.

She
was going to have to revoke it if things were going to change.

‘I have things to do,’ he said, moving to pull away, reinforcing the renewed distance between them that was more painful in practice than in thought.

But her grip tightened. ‘Like you had things to do last night when I came to see you?’

Last night, he’d been out looking for the lycan young. Last night, he’d still been reeling over her turning up on his doorstep seeking leads as to whether Caleb was responsible for The Alliance murders.

He freed his wrist in one easy twist before turning to face her, ensuring his guard still remained on the steps, vigilant to the prospect of company.

If she wanted to beg for his time, she could get in line.

‘About?’ he asked.

She raised her eyebrows at his aloofness, but it did nothing to deter her. ‘Morgan’s going to be caught up for the next couple of hours; no one will notice my absence.’

‘I told you: I’m busy right now.’

‘Then
make
time,’ she said.

Coming from someone who was now occupied for the best part of sixteen hours in every twenty-four, his hackles rose at the instruction.

He exhaled tersely as he tongued his incisor. He folded his arms as he stared deep into her eyes. ‘Excuse me?’

‘I thought we were in this together.’

‘
You
chose to go back, Caitlin.’

‘As opposed to what? Kane, I’ve tried to explain. I told you I can’t do the “kept woman” thing – sitting at home waiting for you to come back each morning or each night or whenever it is after you’ve done whatever it is you do, because I still don’t know what that is, do I? Just as I still have no idea what you’re doing about Sirius’s threat.’

‘Leave,’ he said. ‘Leave the VCU and we can talk.’

It was the first time he’d laid down the ultimatum.

It was bad enough that she was back on the streets where he could watch her less than ever, but her brush with death with the nilkim exacerbated how needlessly selfish she was being putting herself at risk again. If he hadn’t had the heads-up it had been spotted, he would have seen her death on the news or heard it in a rumour on the streets.

She shook her head. ‘That’s not fair.’

‘No, Caitlin, it isn’t. But I made it clear to you from the outset, from the moment you made your decision that there are certain things that would have to remain closed to you if you returned to work there.’

‘But I didn’t sign up for this secrecy between us, Kane.’

‘Then what did you sign up for? My heart on my sleeve? Dispelling vampire secrets to you? You know I have to draw the line somewhere, Caitlin. You knew this was going to be tough.’

‘What’s tough is that you don’t let me in
at all
. That you don’t trust me enough to let me in even a little bit.’

‘You know why. I don’t trust Sirius. I can’t trust he won’t use you to get to me.’

‘I won’t let that happen. I won’t betray you.’

‘He was willing to put you on the line to prove his theory about soul transference. He was willing to stand back and let me capture you for that very reason. Do you really think he would have exposed his plans to you if he didn’t intend on continuing to use you?’

‘Then I’ll go straight to the Global Council. I’ll report his threats. I could have them search The Facility – to find out if there is unlawful research going on.’

‘And they’d believe you? The one who brought the authority in this locale into disrepute in the first place? Expose that you’re still fighting my corner when our link is supposed to be severed in order to protect us both? We don’t know how deep this corruption permeates. For all we know, Sirius is just the face of it.’

‘Sirius who looked me in the eye as he talked about my family like they were a commodity, that what happened to them, what nearly happened to me, was a stroke of luck. He watched my family being ripped apart and, for him, it was all about gain. This is happening because of
us
. Sirius is invading Blackthorn because
we
showed him the soul transference can be done. But I am
not
going to be used in his fight against you and I am not taking this lying down, Kane. Being at the TSCD is the best place for me to be to keep my ears open and protect you, to protect this district.
Please
, don’t underestimate me.’

‘I’m not. But I’ve been on the receiving end of the TSCD’s methods for gaining information, remember? It might not be a choice whether you speak or not.’

‘So you keep me in the dark.’

‘You want the best of both worlds, Caitlin, and you can’t have it. You chose to put yourself back in the middle and I accepted it. You said having your own life was important to you and I’m dealing with that. Now deal with the fact that I have responsibilities too and that there are parts of my life where the further you are away from them, the better.’

H
er legs turned leaden
, the ache in her chest permeating deep into her heart. She felt her heart rip at the detachment in his eyes.

In those seconds, she thought he was about to tell her that it wasn’t working out. The sickness formed in her stomach, her heart pounding to the point the blood had rushed too fast from her head. She could have sworn the room swayed a little at the prospect of life without Kane, of losing him.

After everything they had been through.

After
all
she had done for him.

Her defenses instantly kicked in.

‘Like your master vampire role here, whatever that is? Because even if I wasn’t with the VCU, that’s a part of you you’ll never share with me, isn’t it?’

She hadn’t wanted to be on the cusp of losing her temper, but frustration burned through her at her inability to get through to him, at the distance between them. And with the cold wall between them being reinforced by the second, that frustration was impossible to quell. Worse was that she couldn’t ask him to simply take her in his arms and assure her that they were going to be okay.

That everything was going to be okay.

Because it wasn’t.

Kane was planning something – everything she knew about him dictated that. If Kane chose to strike first,
or
strike back, the fallout was going to be unthinkable. So for more than her own sake, she couldn’t lose that connection. At the heart of it, she still had an obligation to her own. If a war was coming, that meant the very locale she was supposed to protect was at risk – and that was even more reason why she couldn’t roll over and play the dutiful lover, simply doing what Kane said just because he told her so.

But whether she liked it or not, keeping that connection was on his terms now. With a team around him stronger than ever since Sirius’s threat, she wouldn’t get within fifty feet of him without his consent.

She pulled on her only reserve – the one guaranteed way to ensure he had no choice but to face her.

‘I’m trying to save your arse here,’ she reminded him. ‘More to the point, your buddy’s.’

His eyes narrowed at the mention of Caleb. ‘We have a rule.’

A rule she was more than aware of, but she had a job to do. She had a responsibility to the families who had lost loved ones to do whatever she could to prevent more of the same. She wouldn’t have gone to him if she hadn’t reached stalemate.

As soon as Morgan had assigned the case to her on her first day back, she’d laboured over the evidence that had already been compiled. Interviews with a couple of the deceased’s family members and friends indicated a possible link between the eight murdered humans as potentially belonging to some clandestine vigilante group. Further questioning out in Blackthorn had resulted in whispers of assassination attempts on key third-species figures in the district – and that some kind of covert group was involved. The coincidence was too great, but there was no proof. Amidst that, there had been only one lead: two witnesses claiming there had been a failed assassination attempt against the Dehains and that the murders had started around the same time. Knowing there could be more murders in the forthcoming days, the pressure had been mounting.

‘I came to you that night without wanting any special favours, Kane, but
you’re
the one who asked me to back off from Dehain, remember?’

Kane’s gaze remained steady but there was tension in his forearms. It was another stark reminder that they were very much on opposing sides when it came to vampire affairs in Blackthorn. He was still the master vampire conducting his elusive business and she was still the agent investigating his kind.

‘Morgan’s turning up the heat,’ she added. ‘If you’re so adamant of Caleb’s innocence, you have to give me something to work with or I’m going to be left with no choice.’

‘No choice but what?’

‘To bring him in. There are circumstances when an early shadow reading can be approved. Logic alone dictates it’ll be the best way to get answers. With me in charge of the case, it will inevitably fall to me to do it.’

His frown deepened, making her aware of the darkness surrounding them both. ‘You can’t shadow read without some kind of evidence. Isn’t that your precious law?’

‘In most circumstances. But either I bring him in, or I’m off the case. And someone else won’t hesitate. Questions are already being asked as to why I’m so reticent. On top of that, it’s only prompting Morgan to have even more reason to suspect there is still something between us. I’m doing the best I can here, but you’re not helping me.’ And it wasn’t a threat when she said it. ‘Either you talk to me or I’ll have no choice but to talk to Caleb myself.’

Despite his unflinching gaze, there was a minor up-curl in the corners of his mouth that she knew wasn’t amusement at the suggestion.

A split-second later, he’d backed her up against the lockers behind her. Palm flat beside her shoulder, he leaned close enough to kiss her.