Blood Moon (4 page)

Having already known about this for a while,
I was forced to feign shock and bewilderment as I took in the rest
of the room before me. It was heavily decorated with streamers and
balloons, the guests all standing in the living room around the
beautiful white couches my mom had reupholstered last month. There
were several empty glasses on the dark cherry-colored coffee table
that stood in the middle of the room, signaling that people had
probably been here for a while, waiting for me to arrive. There
were also two long tables, dressed in white linens, with all kinds
of food and alcohol set out, and a fire burned in the corner
fireplace, warming the room. What was usually a very modern and
classy family room had been transformed into a celebration I never
asked for…

“Oh my god! I can’t believe you guys did all
of this,” I cried out, forcing my smile impossibly wider and truly
hoping that no one would see through my façade. Chances were that
almost everyone would buy it, but there were a select few who
wouldn’t.

Toward the back of the crowd, my gaze fell
upon a familiar pair of blue eyes, and I offered him a warm smile
before turning to the people who were currently crowding around me.
Eager to get to him, I made my way through the group of people,
thanking each person who wished me a happy birthday, until I
reached the beverage table against the back wall just outside the
elaborate dining room.

The more I heard the words “Happy Birthday,”
the more my anxiety increased and I felt the need for more alcohol
than the human body could possibly handle.

With trembling hands, I grabbed one of the
goblets and poured myself a glass of red wine, filling it more than
the standard halfway point. As I brought the glass to my lips, I
felt a familiar, and fleeting, touch on my lower back, and when I
turned my head, I found myself looking into that same pair of baby
blues that I spotted earlier.

There was something about him that always
made me feel at ease. I think it had to do with him being pretty
easy-going and someone you felt comfortable opening up to. Plus,
his strength and protective nature made me feel safe. It was that
feeling that drew me to him in the beginning, and I basked in the
slight reprieve his presence offered me now.

“So, how long have you known about the
party?” David’s smooth voice asked as he walked around to stand in
front of me. I eyed him up and down appreciatively and couldn’t
help but admire how extremely sexy he looked semi-dressed up in a
pair of dark jeans, white dress shirt, and dark suit jacket. The
top couple of buttons of his shirt were undone, exposing the
tiniest hint of his muscular neck, and the jacket was cut to
emphasize the strong, athletic build of his six-foot frame. The
dark brown hair atop his head wasn’t combed neatly, but it wasn’t a
tousled mess either. Having been privy to his morning routines, I
knew that it took more work to make it look that way than he wanted
the world to know.

My laugh was soft, but sincere, as I
answered his question. “A couple of weeks, actually.”

His smooth brow furrowed, his lips pursed in
disappointment, and he cocked an eyebrow at me. “Well, where’s the
fun in that?” he asked, eyeing me through his periphery as he
poured himself a glass of cognac. I admired the strong cut of his
jaw as I thought about how to answer.

“David, I think the fun is in me
not
being hospitalized and sedated for another nervous breakdown.” He
wasn’t amused…even though I really did mean it as a joke. Winking,
I scrunched my nose, hoping he’d see the playful nature of my
words. “I’m just sayin’,” I countered before taking another pull
from my glass. The warm, sweet liquid filled my mouth and throat as
I swallowed it slowly, savoring it, willing it to give me the buzz
I craved so badly, hoping it would quell the shaking in my
hands.

Looking concerned, his eyes met mine. “How
are
you doing?” He knew about my past and what this day
really meant to me, so it didn’t come as a surprise when his eyes
reflected his concern.

“Fine.”

“Brooke…” he said softly, setting his short
glass down and moving for me.

Before he could finish, I inhaled a steady
breath and smiled. I knew he could see in my eyes that I was far
from “fine”—that I was barely holding it together—but I couldn’t
afford to lose my composure in a room full of people we both knew
and worked with. He understood this and didn’t push, which made me
appreciate what we had even more.

“Did you get my present?” David asked,
changing the topic. The way his eyes locked on mine was…intense,
but it was an intensity I welcomed and held onto like it was my
only tie to this mortal plane.

With a coy smile, I nodded softly. “They’re
beautiful. Thank you.”

“You look fantastic,” he told me with a
Cheshire cat grin as his eyes roamed my body almost hungrily. I had
the strongest desire to do a little spin for him—tease him a little
more, because it was what we did—but I knew it would draw too much
attention from those we had worked so hard to keep everything from.
Instead, I got caught up in his scorching eyes and bit the inside
of my cheek gently as I imagined what he could possibly be
thinking. I knew from past experience that it couldn’t be
innocent.

Suddenly, I had the undeniable feeling in
the pit of my stomach that we were being watched, so I nonchalantly
turned my head while sipping at my wine to find my father eyeing
the two of us. I smiled and raised my glass to him, only to have
him raise his drink in return. I wasn’t naïve enough to think I’d
be able to keep our relationship hidden forever, and I knew it was
inevitable that he would find out about my relationship with David
sooner or later. I just hoped to be able to tell him on my own
terms just how serious we’d gotten.

“You know, my father is going to suspect
something is up if we keep meeting like this,” I teased, returning
my attention back to David.

He laughed softly as he disregarded my
statement. “Brooke, we’re partners. As far as he knows, we’re
discussing work.”

“That,” I said with a flick of my head back
in my father’s direction before continuing, “is not the look of a
father who thinks that this is simply a working relationship.”

I knew the instant that David’s eyes met
Dad’s when he lifted his drink and nodded his head. I giggled
softly into my glass when his eyes took on a look of fear and he
gulped back the last ounce of his drink.

“Would it really be so bad if he knew?”
David’s eyes begged me to finally admit the truth, however, I just
wasn’t ready for the world to know. Everyone in this room already
knew far too much about my personal life, and I just wanted to keep
one tiny piece for myself.

Was that so bad?

This discussion was always a source of
discord between us. He wanted to shout from the rooftop that we
were together, and I just wanted to keep my private life…well,
private. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if people found out; I
just wasn’t ready. Why was that so hard to understand?

Instead of angering David tonight, I decided
to try and keep the subject light. I cocked my right eyebrow at him
and smirked. “You’ve seen him in the gallery, right? The man
doesn’t miss,” I joked.

David’s eyes burned into mine with the
intensity of the sun, and I shivered beneath the force of his
stare. “I’m being serious, Brooke. We’ve been together for almost
two years now. Isn’t it time to tell him?”

With a despondent sigh, I turned my head
away. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt on his face as I denied him
what he so desperately wanted from me. “It’s complicated…
I’m
complicated.” I paused for a moment, waiting for him to tell me he
understood, but he didn’t. “Look, we can’t talk about this here.
Let’s just enjoy the party, okay? Are you still coming over
tonight?”

“Samuels.” My father’s voice was right
behind me, but I felt fairly certain he hadn’t heard our
conversation since David still seemed relatively calm. Though, his
calm demeanor could have very well been an act, or it could have
just been him not giving a damn anymore. The ball was in anyone’s
court at this point.

“Captain,” David says, formally tipping his
head.

My father moved to stand beside me as he
continued to look at David. “You’re monopolizing the guest of honor
here.” Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder, giving me a gentle
squeeze. I briefly wondered if he could sense the tension between
us, and that was what drew him here.

“Dad, be nice. David was just wishing me a
happy birthday, weren’t you?” I smiled up at David as his eyes
moved between my father and me.

He ignored the question, his eyes telling me
that this conversation was far from over. It was obvious that he
had grown tired of the pretense, and I suddenly feared that he was
done trying. Period. I didn’t want that, so I desperately hoped I
could fix this. “Well, Brooke, I should go mingle.” He tossed a
glance back toward a group of our coworkers and chuckled softly. I
couldn’t tell if it was one of amusement or distrust. “O’Malley
looks like he’s about to attempt a move on our new officer. I
should probably go and intervene. Maybe remind him why that’s not a
good idea.” Stepping around me, he flashed me a look. “Happy
birthday. I’ll talk with you in a bit, all right?”

I pushed aside my feelings of unease and
offered him a smile in return. “I’ll be around.”

“He's a good kid,” my dad said, causing my
focus to shift from David's retreating form back to him. “You could
do worse.”

Unsure what to say, I took a sip from my
almost-empty glass and smiled at him as I swallowed my wine. “Yeah.
He's a great partner.” While I already suspected he knew about my
little tryst with David, I wasn’t quite ready to confirm it just
yet.

My dad looked at me knowingly; I was foolish
to think we'd gotten away with it this long. “Brookie,” he began,
using the nickname he'd given me when I was three. “I just want you
to be happy.”

“I am happy,” I assured him shakily.
“Really.” It wasn't a complete lie; most days I was—with the
exception of today, of course, because when
this day
rolled
around, I found it hard to take a breath, let alone function at
all. Usually, I was able to get up, shower, dress, and carry about
my day just like everyone else. I laughed when something was funny,
made jokes, and hung out with David without having him constantly
worried that I was going to go into some kind of catatonic
state.

Yes, most days I was as close to happy as I
guessed I ever would be.

“So, are you enjoying yourself?” Dad asked
tentatively.

And, just like that, my distraction from
what today really meant disappeared, thrusting me right back into
reality with one loaded question.

I took another sip of my wine and shrugged.
“You and Mom did a great job decorating. The wine is good. And the
food smells delicious,” I replied, sidestepping his original
question.

I knew if I lied he’d see right through it,
and then this conversation would take another turn entirely.

Too late.

My father’s eyes narrowed, and he scoffed
lightly at my response. I dropped my eyes from his knowing stare,
admiring the dark polish on my toes as they peeked out from the
tiny holes in my shoes, and fingered the stem of my wine glass
nervously. “You know how hard this is for me,” I reminded him
softly, feeling the prickle of tears stinging my eyes. Had this
party been thrown on any other day and not my actual birthday, I
may have been a little more mentally sound.

May
have been.

When I raised my head, his eyes saddened as
he acknowledged his own empty glass. “It's hard for all of us,
Brooke.”

I nodded in agreement. It wasn’t that I
meant to be selfish, thinking that I had been the only one affected
by the loss of Bobby. I wasn’t. My parents lost him, too. I knew
this. The thing was, though, that Bobby and I were close. Closer
than most siblings. Maybe it was a “twin thing” or maybe it was
just a “sibling thing.” No one could be certain—all I knew was that
when I lost Bobby that night, I lost the other half of myself, and
I couldn’t be sure if I’d ever find it again.

The rest of the room was abuzz with
laughter, talking, and music, but a heavy silence hung between my
father and me, numbing me to everything else. When he cleared his
throat, I looked back up at him to find the worry he had for me
clearly etched on his face.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I wasn’t
sure I would be able to handle it in my current state of mind. The
last thing I wanted to do was become hysterical in front of
everyone. Choking back a quiet sob and blinking away my tears, I
stood on my toes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’m going to
go out onto the patio for a breath of air. I’m fine, Daddy. I
promise.”

I set my empty wine glass down on the
kitchen table as I quickly passed through the abandoned kitchen and
slid the patio door open before stepping out into the brisk night
air. Being the tail-end of October, the night was always a bit more
frigid in the desert, and it was only going to get colder. In an
effort to keep warm, I wrapped my arms around myself and roughly
rubbed my hands over them, hoping the friction would help a
little.

The night sky was clear of clouds as I made
my way toward the pool, and I could see the stars and the waxing
crescent moon with perfect clarity. An unseasonal warm breeze,
similar to the one I felt in the cemetery, picked up, and I felt
that same overwhelming sense of peace fall over me as I stood alone
outside. The coolness of autumn seemed to soften just enough that I
was comfortable, and I finally felt at ease being cloaked in the
darkness, away from all the prying eyes inside the house. It was as
though I could breathe again without being under everyone’s
watchful eyes. Inside was so bright, and I was the main focus of
everyone’s attention. Part of me wondered if that was only because
they were secretly waiting for me to completely melt down, or if it
really was because it was my “special day.”