Blood of the Guardian (45 page)

“You never … ” She swallowed. “Alcandor watches.”

“Usually. But never with me. He always kept me for himself.”

Emery wouldn’t meet her eyes, and a single tear slid down his cheek. It traced a path and disappeared into his beard. She knew he hurt but had never realized how much.

She raised her trembling hand and pulled Emery’s face toward hers. He resisted at first, then reluctantly yielded to her. His eyes followed last, avoiding her until he could no longer do so.

So much pain. She just wanted to take it all away.

“Avoiding this won’t help you,” Megan whispered. “We can’t let this ruin the rest of our lives; it will only make Alcandor win.”

He opened his mouth to protest but closed it, pressing it into a thin line. He lowered his face again.

“Emery,” she said. “I need you.”

“I don’t think I can, Megan,” he said, his voice nearly a whisper.

“Maybe not now,” she said, “but I’ll help you get past this. I’ll wait for you until you are ready.”

“What if I’m never ready?”

What if he never could? She hadn’t considered it before. But in all honesty, she’d rather have a celibate life with him than a passionate life with anyone else. Even so, she wouldn’t give up hope. They’d both been used. They
deserved
to feel love. She would make sure they both got past this, even if it took years.

She smiled. “You will. We both will.”

“How?” Emery said, his voice weak, defeated.

“Look at me,” she ordered.

Reluctantly, he obeyed.

“Sense me,” she said, her voice trembling. “I’m scared too. Just focus on me, not on your own fears. Focus on me, and soothe me. And then … ” She swallowed, forcing the next words. “Then I’ll help you.”

Emery stared at her, eyes searching. He frowned, shaking his head. “I don’t know, Meg.”

Before he uttered another excuse, she pulled his lips to hers.

At first, she kissed stone. She didn’t let go, even as her hands trembled.
What am I doing? Am I pushing too hard again?
Finally, something changed, and Emery’s familiar Empathy touched her mind. Her fear melted away.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing into him. She kissed him deeper, not just for herself this time, but for Emery, who hurt far more than she ever had. Before, she’d been selfish, only caring what Emery could give her. This wasn’t about her anymore. It was for him. He’d been hurt, used, abused. Now he would know love.

His hand tentatively came up, long fingers trailing the side of her neck. She inhaled as he found a sensitive spot, causing her heart to race. His Empathy prodded, and he went back to the place, knowing exactly how and where to touch her again. Her fingers laced through and dislodged his perfectly arranged hair. They broke apart, their breathing labored, their faces flushed.

He blinked, still breathing heavily. His lips twitched into a small grin. “What was that?”

“That, my husband, was a real kiss.”

She leaned in to kiss him again, but he held out a hand, stopping her. Her joy deflated.

“Oh, Meg,” he said, his voice lighter than before. “It’s not that. It’s just … ” His face flushed. “Oh, crows, Meg. There’s a crowd waiting for us. The whole field is full of people, dukes, and nobles from every city and town. The Rol’dan are ready to present us to everyone. Your family. Our friends. It’s our wedding day.”

She covered her mouth to suppress a giggle. She’d been so worried he’d pushed back again, that the thought of everyone waiting for them hadn’t even crossed her mind. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he tensed, going back to his old self. “Let them wait.”

His face hardened, ready for an objection, but then a contemplative expression passed over his face. He released a long sigh, his eyes glowing violet. Her nervous tension melted from her shoulders, her arms, her spine.

“I can’t make promises,” Emery said. “And I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. But I’ll
try
. In small steps.”

“Small steps,” she agreed.

He increased his Empathy and, as shy as a young school boy, he leaned in and gently kissed her.

Chapter Forty-Four

THE INNER WARD TO FAYLINN had been cleared and lined with hundreds of cloth-covered chairs. Every noble in the kingdom had come to wish the king and his bride good fortunes. Nolan scanned the crowd and smiled. After everything they’d endured the last several months, this day was a long time in coming.

On the top of the landing, Greer and the other Guardians stood, gleaming with white light. A pang of sadness thrummed inside Nolan’s chest. Rikar should have been standing there with them.

Several hours after Rikar’s death, the Guardian’s body had faded, disappearing much like a dying campfire. Only silvery ashes covered the grass where his blood had spilled and his body had lain.

Throughout the month, the white light in Nolan’s eyes had faded—they were normal blue now, which meant he’d used the last of his father’s power. Now nothing remained of Rikar.

When Rikar had died, Nolan was determined not to be upset about a father he’d never known. However, as the days and weeks passed, he allowed himself to grieve. Kat had told him that no matter how good or bad a father he was, no matter how long he’d known him, he was his father. The blood of his Guardian father ran through his veins; he was, and always would be, a part of Nolan. She was right. Nolan had a right to be sad.

Nolan took a deep breath, tucking his grief away. Today wasn’t a day to mourn; it was a day to celebrate … he hoped.

Nolan glanced toward the entrance, but he still hadn’t seen any sign of Emery or Megan. At that moment, Emery was offering her a chance to get out of their marriage. Nolan assumed Megan would still want to go through with it; she loved Emery too much to let him squirm away. But honestly, Nolan didn’t understand women all that much.

They were strange creatures, prone to doing erratic things. He glanced over at Kat as she mingled with some other soldiers. She flashed him an amazing smile. He smiled back. Once the wedding was done, he hoped they could spend more time alone.

A hand slapped him on the shoulder. Nolan turned, and a large man stood next to him. His eyes crinkled in a smile, and a freshly combed beard hung down a large, barreled chest.

“Hakan!”

Nolan was about to shake his hand, but the Higherlander gripped him in a hard hug while slapping him robustly on the back.

“How are you, lad?” Hakan said, breaking off the embrace.

“Good, good,” Nolan answered, grinning. “How long have you been here?”

“An hour or so.” He motioned toward a man walking to them. Simple clothes. Dark red hair. Serious expression. Flann’s eyes dropped, taking in Nolan’s half-Guardian form. They hadn’t seen each other since Nolan had transformed.

“They told me what happened to you, but I didn’t expect this. I wouldn’t even recognize you if I didn’t know.”

Nolan cleared his throat, changing the subject. “So are you ready for this?”

“The wedding? Crows, no.”

“No?” Hakan said. “The lass has been in love with him for years.”

Flann’s eyes jerked to Hakan. “How’d you know?”

Hakan chuckled. “Doesn’t take Empathy to figure that one out.”

Flann released a long sigh. “It’s Emery who surprised me. I knew Megan was infatuated, but I never suspected he had feelings for her.”

“Especially when he’s so much older,” Hakan added.

Flann cringed, annoyance flicking from his emotions. “If he hadn’t opened himself up to me, showing me how he really cared for her, I swear … I’d have punched him in the face.”

Nolan laughed. It was nice to have Flann directing annoyance at Emery instead of him. There were times Flann had given him glares that would’ve turned a stronger man into a quivering lump.

Flann’s eyes flicked past Nolan’s shoulder.

Nolan turned as Kael and Alec walked toward them, side by side. They still didn’t like each other, but a mutual respect kept them at peace. And more often than not, Nolan found them sparring together on the practice field.

Alec was dressed nicely but still refused the Rol’dan uniform. He grinned when he saw Hakan and Flann, and before Alec could say anything, Hakan embraced him, crushing Alec’s face into his chest.

Finally, Alec came up for air. “How was your trip?”

“Long,” Flann said. “I’m glad to be off those roads.” His emotions darkened as he nodded at Kael. “General.”

“Did the staff arrange a room for you?” Kael asked.

“Yes. We are all settled in.”

“Good,” Kael said. “You didn’t run into any trouble, did you?”

“No, thankfully,” Flann answered.

They didn’t need to mention what kind of trouble. With Alcandor loose, travel wasn’t safe for anyone with a Shay power. He was gathering them. Soldiers wouldn’t return from excursions. Rumors of Dor’Jan sightings were becoming more frequent, which meant he was gaining powers.

“We will have Nolan accompany you home,” Kael said.

“Maybe you should stay,” Nolan suggested. “I’m sure Megan would love to have you near her.”

“Stay? In Faylinn?”

“We’re expanding,” Nolan said. “Turning Faylinn into a true town instead of just a castle prison. Emery is planning on building an outer wall, cutting down some of the surrounding forests, and putting in proper shops. Kardos already has his armory here in the inner ward, but he’ll move his business outside to the town. Besides,” Nolan said with a grin, “he’ll need a duke to oversee the new settlement.”

Confusion spread from Flann’s emotions, and then his brows shot up in understanding. He snorted. “Me? A duke?”

“You’ve already been leading the village. It would mean a fancy title and bringing them all here.”

“I’ll consider it. But, I’ll need to talk to the others when we return to the village.”

“And I’ll be happy to come along,” Nolan said.

“With all things considered, it would be nice.”

Someone cleared their throat.

They all turned to see one of the dukes—a balding man with a ring of white hair—standing with a beautiful Talasian woman on his arm. His velvet doublet was tight around his middle, and nervous tension emanated from his emotions.

Nolan blinked back his surprise. He hadn’t seen Duke Ragnall since he’d left Alton. Nolan hadn’t expected him to come at all, considering he’d locked Emery in the prison tower in the first place. The man was braver than he let on.

“Pardon me, General Trividar, sir,” the duke said. “Might I have a word?”

“Certainly, Duke,” Kael responded.

Ragnall’s eyes flicked to the others, landing on Nolan especially from time to time. Nolan could tell the duke wanted to speak privately; however, Kael stood firm, amusement flicking from his emotions. Kael was a real horse’s arse sometimes.

The duke’s eyes landed on Nolan again and fear emanated from the poor man. Even Mikayla watched Nolan, curious. Did they recognize him? More than likely not.

“General,” the duke began, reluctantly. “I must say, I was hesitant to come, considering the last time His Majesty and I met.”

One side of Kael’s mouth quirked. “The king has allowed me to continue serving as his general, even after I beat him half to death.”

“Of course, of course,” the duke stammered. “His Majesty is a forgiving man.” His eyes flicked to Nolan again, and he heard the old man’s heart accelerate.

Kael swung his arm dramatically to Nolan. “Duke Ragnall. Have you met … the Emissary?”

Nolan flashed Kael a warning glare. What was he trying to do?

Ragnall bowed low—well, as low as his stature would allow. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Lord Emissary. Word of your magnificence has spread throughout Adamah, and especially in Alton.” Duke Ragnall’s groveling had improved.

“Please,” Nolan said. “Just call me N—” He stopped himself … barely, and cleared his throat. “Call me Emissary. No lord necessary.”

Kael snorted as a smile split his face. Nolan would get back at him later.

“Yes, Lord … ” Ragnall cleared his throat. “Yes, Emissary. Is it true you stopped this new menace from taking over our land and saved us from war? I heard you even saved the Talasian queen.”

With that comment, Mikayla’s eyes caught his. Her expression displayed mild interest, but her emotions oozed like a murky fog of curiosity.

“I didn’t save Queen Rayen. Alec Deverell saved her.” Nolan motioned toward Alec, who’d been standing quietly, listening. “You’ve met Alec, haven’t you, Duke Ragnall? He’s from Alton.”

“Deverell? Oh, yes! The blacksmith’s son. You came into your power this last spring, did you not?”

Alec shifted. “Um, yes, sir. Speed.”

“So you saved the Talasian queen?”

Alec’s cheeks tinted. “I … It was just … I was only helping, that’s all.”

“I’m glad she is well,” Mikayla said.

“She’s still here.” Alec addressed Mikayla. “She was hoping she’d get a chance to see you.”