Blood of the Pure (Gaea) (72 page)

“Big mistake,” I joked and he smiled so naturally that my heart skipped a beat.

“Probably,” he conceded. “However, when I finally decided to try to understand what was keeping me from killing you, as it was my original plan, I found myself making up arguments that supported the value of keeping you alive. You were, after all, a
Gaalgha
, something that I hardly knew. Sigweardiel had told me about some of your gifts. He’d told me that there’s a source of light in your Souls and that that power will only truly activate when the Soul synchronizes with the more Human feelings. He told me that, once activated, they’d be even greater than
Deiwos
’ Magic, and I thought that maybe I could use that to gain some advantage in this war, since my own powers are too troublesome to control.

“Following this logic, if I were to kill you they’d never belong to me. Once I decided to spare your life, I thought that through our Contract I’d be able to attain what I wanted. The fact that your tears burnt my skin was proof enough that you’d never been with a man, and we all know how Humans have their hearts connected to their bodies, and their Souls connected to their hearts. That’s how, over time, many Humans have been corrupted, and many of us have stolen Human Souls.”

I thanked the weak light of the day that painted the sky in tones of orange, yellow and purple, helping me disguise my embarrassment. Gabriel seemed unfazed as he went on.

“I thought that by having your inexperienced body I’d easily reach your heart and, from then, force my way to your Soul to steal the source of your light. Just as promised, I wasn’t going to steal your life, not even your Soul. I did consider the possibility that you might cease to be a
Gaalgha
, that you might recede in the scale of Human evolution, but that would only have meant you’d need to live a few more lives until you catch up again.”

I hugged my own arms, suddenly feeling cold. Gabriel was watching me in silence, his white skin becoming even paler as the world around us slowly plunged into darkness. The absence of an expression on his face froze me inside. And I knew that if I wasn’t able to recover from that, he wouldn’t speak again.

“I would never ... have been the same ... again,” I managed to whisper and he remained serious.

“I know. Besides breaking you, you’d probably suffer as Stephanie did. There isn’t a Human able to withstand the touch of a
Shedim
without starting to desire him deeply. You can say that we’re almost like a drug.”

I dug my nails into my arms, making sure that, at least, I’d be able to sit there and listen. As hard as it was to hear those words in his soft, velvet voice, those were the answers to all the questions that had crossed my mind since that terrifying night. That was his truth.

“Still, at that point, I couldn’t care less,” he went on. “I wouldn’t be sticking around to see it, anyway. But then Michael appeared.”

The way he said his name was different from Alexander’s open, undisguised hatred, but somehow scarier.

“And you, near him, seemed to shine. I found myself asking how was that possible. Because your relationship was completely different from the other Human relationships that I’d observed. Besides, I knew you were a
Gaalgha
and that because of that you shouldn’t be able to express your feelings with such intensity. I wondered which part of you really loved him and, no matter how much I told myself that such things didn’t concern me, I was unable to simply ignore it, as I should have. Finally I came to the conclusion that your Soul somehow accepted the feelings of your heart regarding him, and so allowed you to manifest them.

“I realized that these were the only moments where you were truthful, and the empty expressions you gave me when you weren’t wallowing in terror started to ... annoy me,” he noted with an ice cold smile. “I’m not used to not getting what I want. Likewise, there’s nothing that I want that I’m not able to acquire. And I found myself wanting to see the truth in the gestures and expressions you gave me. And was only when I realized just how much that desire had became essential that I understood just how much I’d strayed from my true nature.”

The brief silence that surrounded us made me feel even more nervous. He was still watching me as disbelief washed over me. And the wave of happiness that his words brought me glued back together the small piece of me that he had broken just moments ago.

“I knew I’d end up doing something really stupid if I stayed. And so, when we went after Telane and my Brother, I decided to heed Sigweardiel’s constant warnings and rid myself of your presence.”

Pain again, even sharper than before, stole my breath away. All I had to do was recall that lost time to forget all other fears and doubts. Anything was better than that emptiness, that silence from within.

“I was willing to extend our Contract indefinitely, until I found a way to dissolve it. I told myself I had enough power to ignore it, even if it were fulfilled, although the mere thought alone made me restless. I occupied my mind with other things, like the war and the possibility of victory, and tried to look away from your frail mortality to contemplate my obviously long life. I told myself that before I could notice it a hundred years or so would have gone by, and by then you wouldn’t even exist in this world.”

Since I’d talked to Jonathan, I’d been painfully aware of the time factor that would always keep us apart. But hearing it in his velvet voice was strangely distressing. He laughed lightly, almost as if mocking himself.

“In the end it didn’t even take me a month to be back in your living room,” he said. “Of course, I immediately justified my presence with what had happened. It all had been an accident and I was there only because the Circle was there, and it would help me to heal faster. But, even so, I wished I could stay, even though I didn’t allow myself to wish it. And I was about to leave again when you asked me to stay.”

And he still sounded like he couldn’t believe it, I noticed, even after the numerous discussions we’d had about it.

“I could hardly contain my fury!” he continued. “After all the work I’d been through, after all the time it’d taken me to convince myself that I should allow you to live your life. But then, more than fulfilling your wish, I fulfilled mine. Sure, there are all those arguments and all those explanations about why you changed your mind. Sigweardiel tells me that you’re lonely, that in reality it’s not my presence that you wish for, but simply the presence of someone able to see who you really are. The truth is I don’t care. Besides my wish to stay, your Soul doesn’t break into pieces when I’m around anymore. And I’m still ... confused about why that simple, insignificant fact pleases me so much — that a mere Human Being is able to sit beside me.” He laughed again. “And so I couldn’t help losing my temper when all that disappeared just from hearing you talk to Michael on the phone. I reprimanded myself for allowing myself to forget, even if only for a few moments, just how unstable my mood can get, and how dangerous that instability can be. So I decided I should keep my distance while telling myself I should leave like before and, at the same time, unable to throw away what little I’d been able to conquer.”

The deep flow that was his voice made another pause and I recalled just how much his attempts to avoid me had deeply annoyed me.

“But today ... today that Soul of yours that rejected me so bluntly rose in my defense. And although I tell myself that I don’t care for reasons, I can’t help wonder why ...”

I sat quietly and averted my gaze, disturbed by his constant observation. I asked myself if he expected an answer and tried to find something to tell him. Part of me wanted to be as honest as he’d been, but my dark, critical voice kept reminding me of just who we were.

“I think you’ll be able to see it, now.” I heard his casual voice and looked up, intrigued. I watched as he stood up on the narrow ledge, his figure lean and tall against the twilight sky. His skin was even paler now, the wind playing gently with his hair. He took a deep breath, opening his arms wide as if to embrace the whole world and, unexpectedly, colorful reflections shimmered far away. I immediately turned back, looking at the shadowy horizon, and watched as the colorful lights spread all around us in a huge circle, shimmering and gleaming in a transparent wall that rose from the ground to high up in the sky. It was beautiful, I thought with a smile, almost like a strange aurora borealis, and I noticed that contrary to what he’d had lead me to believe, the circle wasn’t quite round, having some straight lines and corners, here and there.

I sighed feeling a bit more relaxed now and played with the golden ring that I found in my pocket and that freely swirled around my finger.

“Sometimes, and as ridiculous as it may sound, I think you’re like a child that has just discovered a new world,” I said. “I see you full of curiosity and questions, even though you never express them out loud. And I can’t help wondering ... what will happen once all your questions are answered. When there’s no more novelties. Maybe you’ll get bored. You’ll probably look for another, more interesting, world.” I looked up at him, certain that he would be watching me again. “This used to bother me, but now I tell myself that it’s OK, since I can only live in a moment at a time.”

“Same as me,” he said softly. “I also don’t know the answer to any of those questions.”

I smiled and took a deep breath, determined to change the subject.

“So, beyond colorful barriers, what else can you do?” I asked, sitting up straight, and he laughed lightly.

“It’s easier if I tell you what I can’t do,” he stated, smuggish, and I gave him a suspicious look, as he nimbly jumped off the ledge. “Now, let’s see, I cannot read your mind, or control your heart.” He had lowered his voice at the last part, and my cheeks caught on fire once again.

“I know already,” I pressed so he would go on with it, and his teasing smile told me he’d done that on purpose.

“Well, I also can’t bend time,” he told me and that left me curious.

“Time?”

“Yes. I can’t travel to the Past or to the Future. I also can’t manipulate it or stop it.”

“And space?”

“Oh, that one is easy.” Before I could understand what had happened, a black door appeared in front of him. He walked towards it without hesitation and entered it, disappearing only to reappear coming from another door a few steps away.

“That door ...”

“Gateway,” he corrected me.

“Unites these zones together?”

“Yes. As if they were next to each other.”

“But it’s different from when you disappear.”

He nodded, immediately disappearing from where he stood, leaving that thin rain of small black glitter in his place. He appeared again right in front of me, careful to always keep the safe distance.

“To disappear like this,” he explained, “what I do is to break down my own body into very tiny particles and send them through space at a speed faster than the speed of light.” I nodded, resting my chin on my hand.

“What about making other things appear?” I asked.

“Like what?”

“Hmm. I don’t know, a field of flowers!” I decided, looking for something more difficult than a simple object. But, as soon had I said the words, the old white tiles were covered in a green mantle from where dozens of small tiny flowers blossomed all at the same time.

I blinked in amazement and touched the grass growing at my feet, feeling it alive and fresh. There was a sweet smell in the air and I couldn’t help notice how delicate those flowers were, their small petals dancing with the wind.

“It’s beautiful,” I murmured, still caressing the grass, and looked at him. “Did you take this from somewhere? Or did you just create it?”

“In this case, I created it. However, the result would have been the same. These flowers will soon wither and die. I can materialize things, but I can’t give them life. A
Deiwos
can never give.”

“Only take,” I added. “That means you can take a life. But doesn’t it also mean that you can take death away?” I mused.

“Not necessarily,” he replied and looked away, telling me that that wasn’t something he would like to share with me.

“Then, if you take death from someone, won’t that someone be alive?”

“No. It may even move, maybe emit sounds, but it won’t be alive. It will just be not dead.” I shuddered as I understood what he meant. “We also don’t give death, since it would be giving. To us death means total annihilation. So when we kill someone, we’re taking away their own existence.”

“But, unlike you,
Merifri
can give,” I stated, waiting for a confirmation that didn’t come. “Does that mean they can give life and death?”

“Yes.”

I thought about it for a moment.

“When I see it like that, I can hardly say what we usually say, that
Merifri
are good and
Deiwos
are bad,” I concluded and he looked intrigued. “It almost sounds more like
Merifri
are good and evil, and
Deiwos
are … neutral.” He seemed stunned for a split second and then broke into laughter, startling me. It was the second time I heard him laugh like that, so simply and spontaneously.

“And this coming from a
Gaalgha
!” he declared and went back to laughing, making me frown at his condescending tone.