Blood Red Road (34 page)

I know what you mean, I says.

An over the last couple of years, he started expandin his empire. Everywhere I bin lately, I’m havin to dodge Tonton or I’m hearin about ’em. Any place where there’s good water or land fit fer growin food, they’re comin along an claimin it fer the King. If there’s somebody already on the land, they
eether work it fer the Tonton or git killed. They got spies an informers all over the place.

He don’t control everythin, I says. Look at the Free Hawks.

Maybe they won’t be free fer much longer, he says. The King might be dead, but somebody’ll step into his shoes. His empire’ll keep growin. You can bet on it.

I cain’t believe Maev don’t know this, I says. That she ain’t heard about it.

I tried to tell her, he says. She wouldn’t listen. I believe her ezzack words was, I dunno what yer game is, but as far as I’m concerned yer a lyin chancer. That desperate fool might trust you, but I sure as hell don’t.

My belly hollows out. A desperate fool. That’s what Maev thinks of me. Then the rest of what he said starts to sink in. I stand up slowly. Stare down at him.

So that’s it, I says. That’s why you came after me. Why you showed up at Darktrees. You wanted the Free Hawks to help you clear out Freedom Fields. You don’t care if I find Lugh. You don’t care about me. All that … crap about how you couldn’t help it, you had to follow me … that’s jest what it was … crap. Gawd, I am such a idiot.

No, he says, that was all true, I swear it was. It is!

He throws his head back an curses unner his breath. Stands up. Whatever I say now, he says, you ain’t gonna believe me.

Probly not, I says.

I did want the Hawks to help me, he says. When me an
Ike left Freedom Fields, I warn’t thinkin about nobody but myself. But I started to see what was goin on everywhere an I started thinkin about them poor bastards we’d left behind in the chaal fields. Then I ended up in Hopetown an saw what was goin on there, an I met you an the Hawks an suddenly there’s a chance I can do somethin decent in my life … so I took that chance. It all happened at once, Saba. You gotta believe me. It’s fate, like I said.

Jack, I says, you cain’t possibly think that seven of us an a crow’s gonna bring down the Tonton an their operation.

Why not? he says. Me an Ike know the layout. We can take ’em by surprise. They won’t expect trouble from outside.

I’m here to git Lugh back, I says, not to change the world. I told you before. An by the way, yer outta yer mind.

C’mon, Saba, he says, if we come up with a good enough plan, we can all have what we want. D’you wanna git yer brother back an then hafta live in a world run by the Tonton? I don’t. Ike don’t. Ash and Epona don’t neether. An if you asked ’em, I bet Tommo an Emmi’ud say the same. You might of burned Hopetown to the ground, but they’ll be buildin on its ashes already. You can bet on it.

So what’re you sayin, Jack? That you ain’t gonna help me unless I fall in with yer plan?

No, he says. No! What I’m sayin is, we think big. We git Lugh back an take out their operation at the same time. The Tonton, the chaal fields … everythin. But we cain’t do it without you.

You promise me that we’ll git Lugh outta there, I says.

I promise, he says. I promise.

All right, I says. I’ll go along with yer plan. What is it?

To be honest, he says, I never bin much fer what you’d call a plan. They’re more like … ideas.

Jack!

I said I promise! he says.

We’re gonna need more help, I says.

I whistle fer Nero. He comes in a flutter of wings an lands on my shoulder. I pull Maev’s little gold ring from my pocket.

If you ever need me, if you need the Hawks, send Nero with this an we’ll come. Wherever, whenever
 … 
you send this ring an we’ll be there
.

It’s Maev’s, I says. She said to send it if I needed her. D’you got somethin to tie it on with?

He fumbles in his pocket an pulls out a good sized piece of string.

Tie it to his leg, I says. Make it good an tight, but don’t let it cut into him.

He works quick.

Done, he says, steppin back.

I stroke Nero’s feathers. Look into his clever black eyes. Find Maev, I says. I touch the ring, then I touch him on his breast. Nero find Maev. Find Maev.

He cocks his head to one side. Then he caws twice an takes off into the night.

He ain’t never let me down yet, I says.

I should of told you everythin sooner, Jack says. I should of …

What? I says. Trusted me?

Yeah, well …, he says. I ain’t ezzackly bin in the habit of trustin people.

Me neether, I says.

We could try startin agin, he says.

He holds out his hand.

I hesitate. Then I take it. Warm. Callused. Strong.

I’m sorry I was such a ass back at Ike’s place, he says. It was jest that … ah hell, Saba … I was jealous that you smiled at Tommo an not me. You was hardly even talkin to me, let alone smilin, an it was like I couldn’t help myself.

Jealous? I says. You? Jealous? Of Tommo? He’s a child.

I’m jealous of anybody you smile at that ain’t me, he says. He takes a step closer. Reaches out. Runs the back of his hand down my cheek. A hot shiver ripples through me. You look at me with them eyes of yers, he says, an I look at yer lips … an all I can think about is what it ’ud be like to kiss you. You got no idea, do you? You got no idea how beautiful you are.

We stare at each other. The moon silvers his face. Shadows his eyes. Makes him look strange. Not quite real.

I step back so’s his hand falls. I block out what he jest said. Even though my heart’s bangin aginst my ribs. Even though I cain’t git my breath an the heartstone’s burnin into my skin.

I think we’re gonna head back to Crosscreek, I says. Me an Emmi an Lugh. To start with, anyways. We got a friend there, Mercy. Did I ever tell you about her?

Saba, he says.

She’s real nice, I says. A old friend of my ma. Yeah, I got it all worked out. I had plenty of time to think about it.

Saba, he says.

I know I’m babblin. I cain’t seem to stop myself. An I don’t dare look at him. If I do, I fear I’ll say somethin I shouldn’t or do somethin I don’t mean to. I dunno what ezzackly but it’s … I feel like I’m walkin along a narrow ridge an my foot could slip at any moment. I jest gotta think about Lugh, think about why I’m here, an everythin’ll be okay.

Well, I better git back, I says.

I go to slip past him an he grabs my hand. Stops me. We’re standin close. Too close. Stay, he says.

Before I can stop myself, I look at him. A mistake. Hot silver eyes. Burnin fer me. My heart lurches.

He leans his head down. Stay with me. He whispers it into my ear. Jest fer a while.

I … I gotta go, I says.

Please, he says.

The brush of his breath aginst my skin. The warm Jack smell of him. I feel myself weakenin. Dangerous. This … the way I feel whenever I’m near him … it’s dangerous. I pull my hand from his.

No, I says. I … I caint. G’night, Jack.

I slip past him. Gotta git away. I cain’t move fast enough.

He don’t reply.

The mean white sun’s bin poundin down on our heads all day. The way turned steep an rocky around noon. We had to dismount an start leadin the horses an we bin climbin ever since. We’re headed fer a pass high in the mountains that’s our last big crossin before we git to Freedom Fields. Jack says he wants to reach it before nightfall, but it’s slow goin in this terrain.

The higher we climb, the hotter it gits, even with the day closin down around us. There ain’t bin no relief from the heat, none at all. Not even a single tree to shade us on our way.

When we was stuck in the fog fer days on end, I never would of thought fer a second that I’d be longin fer its cold dank heaviness, but I am.

Em’s bin bit by bit fallin behind th’others an I bin holdin back to walk with her. But she’s gittin slower an slower. I look over my shoulder. She plods along on heavy feet. She looks so pale an tired. I wait fer her. The sweat runs down my face, stingin my eyes. I mop myself off with the end of my sheema.

I’m so thirsty, she says when she reaches me.

Waterskin empty? I says. She nods. Siddown, I says.

She sinks onto a rock. I unstop my skin an hold it to her lips. She sucks hard on it, gulpin the water. It runs down her chin an neck an I wipe it away with the tail of my shirt.

She looks a bit surprised. I don’t ever bother with her that way, worryin about when she last had a wash or if her face is all grubby. Once Pa gave up carin, Lugh looked after that kinda thing. I ain’t gived it a single thought till this moment. I stare down at her, frownin.

When did you last have a wash? I says.

She looks even more surprised. I dunno, she says.

You should wash more regular, I says. You gotta be decent.

Okay, she says.

I turn away an take a swig of water myself. I rub a drop into my dry lips.

The rest of ’em’s well ahead of us. Ash turns back, sees us, waves. She cups her hands around her mouth. No time to stop! she shouts. Jack says we gotta make the pass before dark!

Emmi needs to rest! I shout back.

She can rest later!

She needs to rest now!

I can see ’em talkin amongst theirselves. Then Ike hands his reins to Tommo an makes his way back down to us. He crouches down beside Emmi.

Hey there, kid, he says. Yer doin real good. How’s about a ride to the top?

She nods, not lookin straight at him. She likes Ike, but she’s a bit shy of him. I think on account of him bein so big an her bein so small.

C’mon then, he says, hop on. She climbs onto his back.

Thanks Ike, I says.

We gotta reach the pass before dark, he says.

I know, I says. I heard it the first hunnerd times.

He checks the sky. The light’s startin to soften, turn to gold. We’re gonna be pushed, he mutters.

Ike starts up the mountain, with Emmi clingin to his back like a spider. I cain’t believe how fast he moves, pickin his way around the rocks. Like she don’t weigh nuthin. I guess to a man his size, she don’t.

I take a last swig of water. Then I pick up Hermes’ reins an follow behind Ike, fast as I can.

They’re all waitin fer me when I git to the top. Emmi gives me a quick look, but nobody else looks my way. They’re starin at somethin in front of ’em.

What is it? I says.

Then I see what it is. What they’re all lookin at.

We’re standin on the edge of what used to be a mountain lake. Back in Wrecker times it must of bin a stretch of cool clear water, a welcome relief fer the tired feet of travelers. But it sure ain’t that no more.

Now it stretches away in front of us. Parched, scorched, criss crossed with great cracks an crevasses. Endless.

My heart drops into my boots. I lick my lips.

I cain’t see th’other side, I says.

It’s there, says Jack. We should of had it in sight by now.

We couldn’t of gone no faster in this heat, I says.

I know, says Jack, I know. It’s my fault. We should of set off earlier or … He grabs at his hair, frustrated. Gawdammit, he says, I thought we’d have plenty of time. He looks at Ike. Whaddya think?

We might make it across before nightfall, says Ike. But you can tell by his face, by his voice, that he don’t think no such thing.

I don’t see what the problem is, says Epona with a frown. We’ll jest ride across. As fast as we can.

Yeah, I says an Ash nods.

We cain’t go fast, says Jack. There’s too many cracks, too many places a horse could stumble.

Well all right, I says, we’ll go slow an careful then. An if it turns dark before we finish crossin, we’ll jest set up camp on the lakebed.

We cain’t, says Ike.

I look at Jack. At Ike. They’re starin at each other, their faces grim.

What is this? I says. We gotta cross before dark, we cain’t camp on the lakebed … I ain’t likin the sound of this.

That makes two of us, says Ash.

Try three, says Epona.

I cross my arms over my chest. Fergawdsake, jest tell us, I says. Why is it we gotta cross before dark?