Blood-Red Tear (27 page)

“What’s wrong?”

“Aidan
, that was nice, but it wasn’t the kiss I expected after being separated for so long.” I wanted the kiss that curled my toes, that made me yearn for more. The one only he could provide.

I saw the muscle in his jaw tick as he tried not to smile.
“Well, let me try harder then.” He leaned over again and when his lips touched mine, I felt the familiar warm, tingle rising inside me. His lips were cool and firm as they moved over mine, and soon we were wrapped up in the desire-filled kiss, both of us lost in the joy we felt together.

“Sorry
,” I murmured when he pulled back suddenly, afraid I pushed him too far.

“Your parents are coming,” h
e murmured in explanation, just as the door burst open and they rushed into the room, both looking frazzled.

“Oh, honey,
are you okay?” Mom came to my side, looking down at my arm with a grimace.

It hurt like hell but I wasn’t going to tell her that. She would worry too much.
“I’ll be alright, Mom. Don’t worry.”

“How did this happen?
” My father came to her side, his face filled with concern for me.

“It was an accident,” I looked to Aidan
, hoping to make him understand it wasn’t Orin’s fault I had gotten hurt. “Another skier lost control. He ran into me and my arm got tangled in his skis.” My arm was throbbing; pain radiated from my shoulder and down my arm. I looked to Aidan, mentally asked him for one of the pain pills the hospital had sent home.  Before I could blink, he was handing me the pill and a cup of water, which I took gratefully.

My fat
her frowned as Aidan took the glass from me and helped me settle back against the pillows so I was more comfortable.

My mother twisted her hands anxiously.
“I’m sorry we weren’t at the hospital, honey.”

“It’s okay
, Mom. Paul and Aidan took good care of me.” Aidan took my hand in his, pressing a kiss to the palm. I stared up at him adoringly, wanting nothing more than to have him hold my hand every day of my life. He smiled and I knew he had heard my thoughts, which caused me to blush.

“Will
you be staying long, Aidan?” my father asked, his face taut, his hand clenching my mother’s.

Aidan frowned.
“No, I’m afraid I have to leave again very soon. I was tending to something of extreme importance when I got word of this. I left immediately to make sure Katie was alright, but I must get back soon.” He did not look at all happy at the thought of leaving me, but my father looked instantly relieved.

My father looked at
me with a sigh. “We will let you visit with Aidan then, since he will be leaving soon.” He emphasized the
soon
. “I will be back to check in on you and Paul is in the hall; just call if you need anything.” I knew he was only leaving us alone because Paul was in the hall keeping his eyes on us, and would call to him if he deemed necessary, but I said nothing. “I love you, honey” he whispered, kissing my cheek.

“I know,” I said softly
, wishing he could just trust me and stop making Aidan leave. “I love you too.”

“I’ll check in on you in a little bit,” my mother said
, hugging me awkwardly before walking out with my father, leaving me alone with Aidan, who watched them go with a sad expression.

I sighed
, hating that I was the cause of their argument. I knew they loved and respected him as their prince, but the anger and fear I felt from my father when Aidan was around me now was heartbreaking. “Are you and Dad ever going to get past this?” I asked, concerned that the two men I loved most in the world were so at odds.

Aidan nodded. “In time
. You just worry about feeling better, okay?”

“Alright,” I murmured. “So
what were you doing when you had to leave?”

“Nothing that concerns you
, so do not worry.” The tip of his finger slid gently over my lips. and he sighed as he noted the time on the clock next to the bed. “I need to leave soon.”

“Well
, by all means don’t let me keep you,” I replied, sulkily aggravated he had to go so soon.

He frowned
, unused to my being so flippant. “Believe me. I do not want to leave you. It pains me to walk away when you are in such misery, but I really am tending to something of great import, and your father is still not ready to relent about my being here with you.”

   “I
’m sorry. Of course you must see to your duties. I just don’t know how much longer I can deal with the emptiness every time you leave.” Tears filled my eyes and he pulled me close.

   “
That is why I have stayed away, so you wouldn’t have to go through this every time we parted. Please believe me, this is excruciating for me too, but I will be back.” He kissed me then and as our lips touched, nothing but that moment mattered.

With a low growl he pulled reluctantly away.
“Please take care of yourself, and know that I too am missing you every moment of every day we are apart.” He stood and kissed the palm of my hand then was gone, leaving an all too-familiar ache in my heart and a feeling of loss that brought tears to my eyes.

Chapter
Twenty-Four

   The days passed with aching slowness after Aidan left. Things pretty much returned to normal after my accident: I went back to school, hung out with my friends, and went out often with Orin. On the outside everything seemed idyllic, but inside I was slowly dying. Never had I been more confident that Aidan was the one for me. Seeing him again brought back the familiar rush of emotion that only he could stir in me, and it refused to subside even after he was gone. He consumed my thoughts day and night, and often I found myself lost in memories of our all- too-brief time together. 

I
f Orin noticed my thoughts were sometimes far away when we were together, or that I wasn’t as into our relationship as he was, he never said a word. He was attentive, sweet, and went out of his way to please me, seemingly the perfect guy, and I should have been over the moon he wanted to date me. But it was Aidan I wanted.  His kiss I craved, and his embrace I longed for, so even though I felt a strange pull toward Orin, it was Aidan who held my heart in his hands.

*****

Despite my revelation about my feelings for Aidan, I found myself going out often with Orin. It seemed I just couldn’t say no to him. When he looked at me with his big glass-green eyes, all of my reasons for saying no fled and I found myself agreeing. He seemed content with everything until he told me one night as he dropped me at home that he was going home for Christmas break. I completely understood his need to see family and friends at such an important time of year, but he seemed hesitant to leave.   

   “Maybe I should change my plans,” he told me. “I feel like when I’m gone something will change between us.”

   “You will only be gone for two weeks, do not be silly” I told him, swatting his arm playfully before he pulled me into his arms and kissed me harder and with more intensity than usual, as if trying to burn it into my memory.

“Two weeks without you will be far too long,” he assured me. “Promise me you will not find another guy to take my place.”

There was the opening I had been waiting for. Now was the time to tell him that there was someone else, but I couldn’t find the words when he stared at me with his mesmerizing gaze.

“Katie
, it’s late,” Paul called from the front door.

“I better go,” I said taking a step back.

“Yeah, see you in a few weeks,” he said sadly, then got in his car and drove away as I watched from the front stoop.

“Good riddance,” Paul said from the doorway behind me.

“What is your problem, Paul?” I demanded. “You don’t want me with Aidan, you don’t want me to date Orin. What exactly is it you want, for me to be miserable and alone?”

“No…I…” H
e looked shocked by outburst but I was beyond caring.

“Well, guess what
, Paul, I am miserable! I spend every day thinking about Aidan, missing him, and wishing we were together, but because none of you trust me to know how I feel, I can’t be with him. Imagine how you would feel if Beth were gone and you couldn’t see her, then put yourself in my place.”

“Your situation is diffe
rent than mine,” he snapped.

“Why, because, I’m too young to know my own mind?” I demanded.
He opened his mouth to argue but I was done. “Whether you believe it or not, I love Aidan with all of my heart. Being with Orin makes it bearable to be apart from him, so screw you if you don’t get that. I don’t need your overbearing and arrogant attitude making me any unhappier than I already am!”  He watched in shocked silence as I stormed up the stairs to my room. When I made it there, I slammed the door behind me for good measure and slid to the floor, holding my head in my hands and wondering why everything had to be so hard.

*****

With Orin gone, I was restless and bored. Time seemed to pass very slowly and with my arm still recovering from my ski accident, I didn’t really feel much like hanging out or doing anything. Jess begged and pleaded with me to go out with them a few times and I relented, but mostly I stayed at the house, watching movies I had already seen a hundred times because it took very little active participation on my part.

Horrifying
dreams continued to haunt me at night and often I awoke scraped, bruised: unable to explain it to myself and scared to tell my parents. The only thing that kept me sane were the frequent visits from Chris and Jess, who came often to keep me company, but I could not even confide in them either, so despite being surrounded by people, I was alone, very afraid, and vulnerable.

*****

   Christmas Eve, many of our community came to celebrate with us. Mom had, as always, outdone herself.  Every room had a tree decorated with a different theme. Poinsettias of every shape, size, and, color graced every table, and ribbons of gold, red, and green were entwined in boughs of fresh-smelling greenery throughout the house. It was picture perfect, everyone was in a festive mood, and I should have been happy with the fact my family and closes friends surrounded me, but the only person who truly mattered wasn’t there and it hurt so bad I thought my heart might break.

Aidan
had always come on Christmas Eve to stay through the New Year, but this year was different. This year he stayed away and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry until the holiday was over.

I put on a brave face, smiled when necessary, and greeted everyone with a false smile. I had gotten so good at pretending that n
o one seemed to sense my upset but my Mother. She knew. I could tell when she looked at me that she was aware of my feelings, but she said nothing. I was getting ready for bed shortly after midnight, when she knocked on my door.

“Come in
,” I called out, struggling to pull a tank top that matched my sleep shorts, over my arm.

“Do you want to
talk about it?” she asked, helping me get the shirt on.

“I never thought Aidan
wouldn’t come. He has never missed a Christmas with us and I know Dad would have let him see me. He may not be happy about us, but he would have let him come.” Tears ran down my cheeks and she took my hand, leading me to the bed.

“Maybe he assumed you wouldn’t miss him now that you are seeing Orin
so much,” she told me, handing me a tissue before tucking the blankets around me like she had done a million times in my life.

“
That couldn’t be further from the truth!” I cried out. “I miss him all the time, I’ve just gotten really good at hiding it. I do feel some kind of attraction toward Orin, but it’s not like what I feel when I am with Aidan. He makes my knees weak. I feel dizzy, my emotions go crazy, and I can’t catch my breath when I am around him. I love him, Mom, and no matter what Dad thinks that isn’t going to change. This separation is stupid. I don’t want anyone else. I know Aidan and I are meant to be together, I feel it in here.” I laid my hand over my heart and laid back against the pillows, tears streaming down my cheeks.

  “Honey, I hate to see you go through this, but it is for the best right now.” She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead before meeting my gaze. “Sleep now,” she said, staring into my eyes then walked out of the room where I heard my father’s hushed voice asking her if everything was all right. I wanted to scream that no it wasn’t, but compelled by her wishes I fell directly into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

*****

   Christmas morning, everyone exchanged gifts and my parents handed out the ones left by “Santa” from under the tree. I made the appropriate noises of appreciation and thanked everyone, then went to stare out of the window, watching the snow swirl down from the sky, wondering where Aidan was and what he was doing.

Deciding I needed a pick-me-
up, I put on my heavy down jacket, a gift from Aidan the year before, and went outside into the wonderland of white that formed overnight. It was tranquil and serene, the new fallen snow so untouched and pure that I couldn’t help but feel at peace. I walked toward the garden, compelled to see the place that brought me so many happy memories of Aidan, and walked through the entrance, stopping to stare at the snow-covered gazebo that sat barren and empty. Tears splashed against my cheeks, freezing on contact, and I turned to go, only to run smack dap into a hard chest. I looked up and shook my head to make sure I was not dreaming, but Aidan was there still smiling down at me.

“Merry Christmas,” he said softly
, brushing his finger across my cold, trembling bottom lip. I stared up at his beautiful face and felt my body begin to shake. He pulled me to him and kissed me, his cool lips gently brushing mine, making my heartbeat faster and my body grow increasingly warm despite the frigid temperature outside. When he made to pull away, I pulled him closer, kissing him harder, unwilling to let him go and he met the demand, both of us trying getting as close as we could to one another.

With a loud sigh,
he finally broke away and stepped back, looking me over with a frown. “You look tired, have you been sick? Why did no one tell me about this?”

I ignored the question
s. “Where have you been?” I asked sounding like a lost child. “You have never missed Christmas with us before.” I tried to keep the hurt from my voice, but he flinched, so I knew it hadn’t worked.

“I know
,” he said sadly. “And I can’t stay but a few moments. But I couldn’t let Christmas pass without giving you a present.”

“I don’t want a present! I want you to stay,” I pleaded.

“I’m sorry. I know you are having a hard time with our separation, but it is for the best right now that we are not together. You need to experience human life, do all the things you would have done if I hadn’t kissed you that night, before you will be ready for us to be together.”  He held out a gold-wrapped gift with a beautiful red bow. “Now open your gift.”  When I made no move to take it, he took my good hand, turned it over, and placed the gift in my palm.

“I don’t want this
! The only thing I want is you!” I threw the gift at him and ran for the house, making it to my room before falling to the floor in a miserable, shaking, tear-filled lump. Aidan was not far behind. He lifted me from the floor cradling me against him, his arms the only thing stopping me from collapsing again. We stood like that for a long time and finally he took me to the lounge and sat down, holding me in his arms until I calmed down.

“Katie
, please, it kills me to see you like this,” he murmured.

“I’m sorry…I
…just miss you so much,” I told him in a quivering voice.

“And I you,” he told me
, hugging me close.

When my tears stopped flowing, he sat me next to him and wiped my cheeks with a tissue.

“Are you rea
dy for your gift now?” He put the box back in my hand and helped me rip off the paper. When he snapped open the blue jewelry box, nestled inside was a platinum chain with a large teardrop diamond pendant hanging from its center. I sat speechless as he pulled it from the box, moved behind me, and placed it around my neck, clasping it into place.

“When I saw it
, I thought of all the tears you have cried for me, and it seemed somehow appropriate,” he said, so close to me his lips brushed the warm skin of my neck just below my ear, making me shiver in response.

“It’s beautiful,” I murmured
, taking the gem in my hand and reveling in the warmth I felt radiating from its facets.

“I’m glad you like it.” He smiled and wrapped his hand around mine
, both of us holding the diamond as one. The heat from the gemstone grew in intensity, as if responding to the chemistry between us, and I lay back against him, savoring the feeling of being in his arms once again. He placed a kiss to the nape of my neck and I shuddered. “I have to go,” he whispered huskily. “I promised your father I would not stay too long.” He stood abruptly, letting go of my hand.  His jaw was clenched, his body tighter than a spring, and I knew he was anticipating my usual tantrum.

“I won’t give you a hard time
,” I said, watching relief fill his eyes. “Thank you for the necklace, I will never take it off. I miss you more than you know, and it gets harder everyday to be without you.” He lowered his head to kiss me and I wound my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He groaned as I pressed myself against him and devoured his mouth with my own. The kiss I bestowed upon him was not a soft gentle one but a more mature, soul-searing one that I hoped would make him remember me, even when we were apart.

My tongue swept his mouth and h
e growled, pulling away with a fiery look of desire that let me know exactly how my kiss had affected him. “You are going to be dangerous when we are finally together,” he acknowledged.

“Practice makes perfect,” I quipped
, but the hurt expression that crossed his face made me immediately want to take my words back. “I’m sorry. I should not have said that.” I turned away, ashamed of my thoughtless remark and the pain I saw in his eyes.