Blood Wolf Dawning (15 page)

“You didn’t,” he said, the quiet words filled with regret. “I made that clear yesterday.”

“I’m not talking about some damn strain of vampire blood. You think any of us give a shit about that?”

“You should. And you sure as hell would if you knew the way I’d lived all those years I traveled with Aedan.”

“Bullshit,” the
Runner scoffed, while a muscle started to pulse at the rigid edge of his jaw. “You were a kid, Cian. What the hell did you know? Do we blame Elliot for the mistakes he made before we brought him into our group? Hell, no. We just found a way to help him move on. That’s what friends and family are about.”

Dropping his head back on the seat, he closed his eyes and let those words soak into his
system, wishing he could believe them. Because if he could, it meant that at least one of the obstacles keeping him from what he wanted most would no longer be an issue. And what he wanted was a certain little strawberry-blonde witch. Even now, she was in his head, never far from his thoughts, his need just to be near her so intense he had no frame of reference for it. No idea what the hell he
was doing, or how he was going to find the strength to walk away when all this was over.

“I know I screwed up,” he heard himself say, “and I’m sorry, Brody. I was just so terrified of what he would do if he found out about her.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, exhaled a ragged breath as he lifted his head and stared sightlessly out the windshield. “Leaving was the hardest damn thing
I’ve ever had to do, after struggling to keep away from Sayre during those months before the war. But I believed it was the right choice, so I
forced
myself to do it. And it had to be the way it was. I knew if I tried to talk to you, I’d cave. If you’d said the things you just said to me right now, I never would have gone. And he would have found her even sooner than he did.”

“I hate it,”
Brody grumbled with a rough sigh, “but I get why you did it. I’m not saying it was the right thing, but at least it makes some sense to me now.”

“I feel like there is no right fucking answer anymore. As if this is all inevitable somehow, and no matter what I do, bad things are gonna happen.” A hard laugh jerked from his throat, and he shook his head again. “Probably some twisted-as-shit karma
coming back to kick my ass. I just wish Sayre didn’t have to pay for my mistakes.”

Turning onto the road that led to the Alley, the Runner said, “She’s not going to pay for anything. You came back to protect her. That says a lot about how you feel about her right there, Cian.”

He swallowed, wondering if the color was draining from his face as quickly as the blood. “It’s not like that,
Brody. I don’t want her getting hurt, but I don’t...I don’t have those kinds of feelings for Sayre. She’s an amazing woman, but what’s between us is purely physical.”

The jackass didn’t argue. He just threw back his head and laughed, the deep sound gruff and full of humor. And he was pretty sure he could hear his wolf joining in right along with him.

Cian scowled. “Shut up, you ass.”
Both of you!

“Sorry.” Brody’s shoulders shook as he pretended to wipe away tears from his eyes. “You’re just pretty damn funny.”

“You know, I’m starting to wonder why I even wanted you talking to me again,” he muttered, sounding like an irritable jerk.

“Don’t try to hide it, man. We both know you missed the hell out of me.”

He grunted, but couldn’t stop the corner of his mouth
from twitching when the goofball winked at him.

Jesus. Broody Brody had just winked at him. And grinned!

Just like that, the five years that Cian had been gone suddenly felt like fifty. He’d known having a family would change the guy, but he’d never imagined Brody could be so...so friggin’ happy. He was pleased as hell for him, but a part of him was also burning up with jealousy.

“And while we’re having this gooey heart-to-heart,” the Runner murmured, parking the truck beside his cabin, “I’ll go ahead and apologize for losing my shit when you told us about Aedan.” His auburn hair brushed his shoulders as he shrugged. “I don’t know why that hit me so hard. I guess I just always thought of you as the closest thing to a brother I would ever have. It threw me to learn you already
had one.”

“Brody, man, you were more of a brother to me than Aedan ever was.”

“Yeah, I kinda got that after I cooled down and thought about it,” the guy rumbled, cutting the engine. He looked over at Cian as he opened his door. “Just don’t forget that we’re here to help. There’s no need for you to handle this shit on your own.”

He managed a jerky nod, but his damn throat was too
tight to get any kind of verbal response out.

They climbed out, meeting around the back of the truck, both of them standing there with their hands shoved in their back pockets, no doubt looking awkward as hell. “If you and Sayre don’t have plans later,” Brody said, “why don’t you come over to our place again? I know Mic would like to spend some time with the two of you.”

Cian smiled.
“That’d be great. I’ll talk to Sayre and let you know.”

Brody nodded, and Cian asked him to make sure the scouts posted at the bottom of the drive into the Alley didn’t allow access to any more female visitors from town, seeing as how that was something he didn’t want Sayre having to deal with. And he didn’t want to deal with it, either—none of those women interesting him in the least. With
a speculative glint in his green eyes, Brody said that he would, then turned and headed toward his cabin, while Cian made his way back over to his.

He took the porch steps with an eagerness that should have given him pause, but he was tired of trying to control every single damn emotion and desire that he felt where Sayre was concerned. He’d just started to reach for his keys so he could
unlock the front door, when he heard a voice coming from inside the cabin that made ice sweep through his veins, the blood no doubt draining from his face for the second time in the past ten minutes.

“You’re making the biggest mistake of your life!” Jillian and Sayre’s mother, Constance Murphy, snapped, her sharp voice rising with each hard, slashing word.

In contrast, Sayre’s tone was
calm and controlled, though she definitely sounded tired. “Considering how you almost destroyed things for Jillian and Jeremy, you’ll forgive me for not listening to any of your relationship advice, Mom.”

“That’s not fair, Sayre.”

“Not fair?” Leaning a little closer to the door, Cian caught the sound of Sayre’s soft, bitter laughter. “What wasn’t fair was you lying to her all those years
ago to keep them apart.”

Though everyone in the Alley was aware of how Constance had tried to sabotage Jillian and Jeremy’s relationship, he was surprised to hear Sayre calling her out on it. That took a lot of guts, considering her mother was one hell of an intimidating woman.

“I didn’t want to see her hurt!” Constance argued, her tone making it clear that she still believed she’d been
in the right.

Sayre obviously didn’t agree. “But what you did hurt her more than anything. I won’t let you do the same to me and Cian.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, his heart hammering as Constance shouted, “Don’t be so naive, Sayre. There is no you and Cian!”

“That might be,” she conceded, her voice still coming through clear and strong. “But it doesn’t give you the right to talk
trash about him. I won’t listen to it.”

Cian slumped against the door, a little dizzy with shock, unable to believe what he was hearing. After the way he’d treated her, Sayre was the
last
person in the world he would have ever thought he’d hear defending him.

“You’re making a mistake.” Constance’s clipped, harsh words vibrated with her anger. “He’ll lie to get what he wants from you,
promise you whatever you want to hear, and then where will you be?”

“He hasn’t broken any promises, Mother. He’s been honest with me about what he’s willing to give, and I’ve been honest about what I’m willing to take.”

“You
slept
with him?” the older witch croaked, sounding
more
than horrified. She actually sounded afraid. “You know what that means. He’ll know—”

Sayre cut her off,
her tone firm but gentle as she said, “I love you, Mom. I really do. But what I do with Cian Hennessey isn’t any of your business. It’s between him and me and no one else.”

“He’s your life mate, Sayre,” Constance said unsteadily. “You... God, you have no idea how dangerous this game is that you’re playing.”

“It’s not a game.”

“He doesn’t deserve you! He’s nothing more than an arrogant,
no-good—”

“Stop!” Unlike the calm tone she’d used up to that point, this time Sayre’s words cracked like a whip. “Just stop. I don’t ever want to hear you talk that way about him. If he wanted me, I’d be damned lucky to have him.”

“You just like his looks!” Constance cried. “It’s lust, Sayre, and you’re too innocent to realize it!”

“That’s not true,” she countered, her low voice
thrumming with emotion. “Do I think he’s quite likely the most badass, rugged, gorgeous male to ever walk the planet? Of course I do. Every woman with eyes in her head knows he’s beautiful. But he’s
more
than that, Mom, and you would know it if you had ever taken the time to talk to him. He’s intelligent, witty and he can be incredibly kind. He’s one of the most honorable men I’ve ever known.
And believe it or not, I think he’s trying to do the right thing by me.”

“By leaving you broken and alone when he takes off again?” her mother scoffed, sounding surprisingly bitter.

Sayre’s response was soft. “I didn’t break the first time.”

“Didn’t you?” Constance questioned with a catch, as if she were on the verge of tears. “How is losing your home and the people who love you
not breaking?”

With a swift intake of air, Sayre said, “I know you mean well, but you need to leave now.”

“Sayre.”

“I mean it, Mother. This is Cian’s home and I won’t have you coming in here and acting this way. He doesn’t deserve it.”

Angry footsteps neared the door, and Cian had only seconds to move back a few steps before Constance ripped it open, her dark eyes narrowing
with fury the second she caught sight of him. Mouth pinched even tighter than before, she pulled the door closed behind her, then stepped toward him. “You’re a bastard,” she hissed, the loathing in her voice impossible to miss.

“Actually,” he murmured, hoping like hell she wasn’t about to turn him into a friggin’ newt, “my parents were married. Much to my mother’s misfortune.”

She cursed
under her breath and stalked past him, no doubt plotting some awful revenge against him for daring to come back into her daughter’s life. Constance had never liked him before, and she obviously didn’t like him any better now.

He smoked a cigarette while he waited for the woman to make her way over to her car and drive off, his thoughts churning with everything he’d overheard.

He didn’t
know what to make of her. Not Constance, but Sayre. He’d never known anyone so brave and strong and giving.
Forgiving.
He didn’t deserve her concern or loyalty or any of what she was giving him.

But, Christ, he wished that he did. He’d have given anything in the world to go back and change those years he’d spent at Aedan’s side. To undo his past and all the countless scores of women. To be
a different person, with a different bloodline. To have a different emotional makeup.

This was, in all honesty, the worst sort of punishment he could be forced to endure. Being so close to what he would claim in a heartbeat if he could, but unable to have it. Thank God he was too damaged to love her, because he’d be relentless then, doing everything he could to make her love him back. And
she’d be crazy to give her heart to him. Damn it, just having her loyalty was more than he’d ever expected.

Needing to see her, to be close to her, he quickly turned and opened the front door. The sight of her leaning back in the ugly green velvet chair that sat across from the equally ugly sofa, her eyes closed and her mouth soft and pink, made something in his chest flip over.

She
smiled when she opened her eyes and saw him coming toward her, after he’d shut the door behind him. “Hey you. Where’d you end up going with Brody?”

With a grin tucked into the corner of his mouth so she wouldn’t take him seriously, he said, “He took me up to town to meet a young lady.”

She laughed, shaking her head, her expression making it clear she knew exactly who they’d gone to see.

“You’re not even jealous?” he asked, lifting his brows with mock surprise. “I got a kiss and everything.”

“I’ll bet you did,” she drawled. “I’m going to have to warn the little flirt that you’re a heartbreaker.”

“She’s a cute kid.” He took a few steps closer to where she sat, loving the way the sun shining through the side window was setting her hair alight, the red strands looking
like fire. Clearing the knot of lust forming in his throat, he said, “Brody, man, he’s a great dad. It’s obvious he adores her.”

Her head tilted a bit to the side. “Why do you sound surprised?”

Pushing his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, he shrugged. “I’m not. I just...it’s kinda strange, seeing the way things have changed.”

She nodded, her gentle expression telling him
that she understood.

Reaching up to rub at the knots of tension at the back of his neck, he said, “I, uh, heard you talking to your mom.”

Her eyes went wide, and she turned an interesting shade of pink as she shot to her feet, then quickly took a few steps away, as if she needed to put more space between them. “Wow...that’s, uh, really embarrassing.”

“Sayre...the things you said.
I just wanted to thank you. It’s been a long time since anyone has said anything like that about me.”

Avoiding his gaze, she snorted under her breath. “Then you should be keeping better company.”

“To be honest,” he rasped, “I haven’t had much company since I left.”

Her eyes immediately cut back to his, narrow and wary. “Now that I’ll
never
believe.”

“Before you get your claws
out,” he said, taking a step toward her, “and we get off track, I was just about to get to the good part.”