Bloodrage (10 page)

*

When I got back to my little room, I flipped over the sheet and stood staring down at the books for a moment.  The night was already drawing in, so I flipped on the light switch, allowing the bare bulb that was hanging from the ceiling to flicker on with a faint buzz, then I propped up the pillows at the edge of the wall and sat down, pulling the Fae text towards me.  If anything, the tingling sensation when I picked it up seemed to have intensified, as if the book itself knew that I was finally going to have the chance to read it properly.

Shifting uncomfortably on the narrow lumpy bed, I carefully turned over to the first page, glancing yet again at the illustration.  There was no telling where it was from, whether it was even of this plane or not.  Carefully, I turned the page again
to the first Fae rune that loudly proclaimed the title.  I hadn’t realised that I’d been holding my breath until my lungs started to ache. I slowly exhaled.  Tracing the rune with my finger, I reached over for the dictionary to begin the laborious process of looking it up. 

It was a simple rune, as far runes go, with merely two strokes inked in next to a teardrop shaped etching, so after several moments of flicking through the dictionary, I found what was I looking for.  When I read the definition, I sank back slightly into the pillows, considering.
It translated directly as ‘fire’.  And yet, the picture on the preceding page clearly was not one that suggested death or violence or fiery hell, but rather tranquility and mother nature.  I’d certainly have to hope that was the case.  I didn’t need any more death or destruction in my life.

Turning the page again, I was confronted by a considerable amount of closely written text.  Heart sinking, I realised that working out what all this meant was going to take more than just one evening with a Fae dictionary.  I pondered my alternatives.  I could potentially see if I could sneak the book out when I went to anger management counse
lling tomorrow.  Then, I might be able to find a way to contact Solus and pass him the book for translation.  But I might not be able to get hold of him; I might not get any time alone even if I could contact him; in fact, I might even get caught with the book itself, and I was pretty sure that it would be harder to explain away how it ended up in my possession outside of the academy’s walls than inside.  No, I would just have to do it the hard way.  Feeling a wave of exhaustion flood through me, I closed my eyes briefly, thinking that I’d just grab a quick catnap and then make a proper start on translating it.  Even if I only managed the first page tonight, it would be a start, and I reckoned I’d probably get more adept at it as I went along.

It was probably the ache in my neck that woke me several hours later, still full clothed in the blue robes, and with a trail of drool leading to my shoulder.  The Fae book remained open on my lap, at exactly the
same page that I’d left it at.  Angry with myself for letting my physical weaknesses get in the way of what I needed to do, I pushed the book off to the side and stood up, stretching, then padded over to the window and looked out. 

The night sky was a deep midnight blue, with a considerable amount of cloud cover preventing any stars from shining through, and although I could just hear the night calls of some distant animals, everything else was quiet and still.  I sucked the air deep into my lungs,
appreciating the moment of peace, and gazed upwards.  The wind must have picked up at that point, as the clouds suddenly cleared in one corner, revealing the bright luminescence of the moon underneath.  I could feel my bloodfire leap into my heart for just one brief moment as it registered deep within me that it was a full moon.  That meant that every shifter, all over the country, was right now outside enjoying the night.  I could picture it in my mind’s eye almost as clearly as if I was there with them myself.  Even though I’d obviously never been able to shift myself, I had still always appreciated the freedom and abandoned joy that the full moon had provided.  I’d go out with the pack and, while they shifted into their weres, I’d run and playfight and
feel
. 

Fuck it.  I shoved my feet into my shoes, and quickly covered the books with my sheet again, then opened my room door slowly, trying to be quiet.  The spiral staircase, and then the corridor that ran along the other dorm rooms were both as silent and still as the world outside my window had been.  Nonetheless, I ti
ptoed along, wary of any creaks that the old floorboards might yield up as my weight landed on them.  However I managed to sneak my way down and onto the ground floor with the minimum of sound.  Trying the handle, it became clear that the front door was locked and that I’d need to find another way out, so after thinking for a moment, I slipped along to the cafeteria.

The tables and chairs
, that had been so full just scant hours before, lay dark and empty.  The moonlight, now fully bared, drifted in, creating eerie twisting shadows amongst the utilitarian furniture.  I picked my across the room, until I was standing in front of the large windows that looked out over the driveway.  Pulling up one chair, I stood on it and reached up for the clasp, just managing to grab it enough with the tips of my fingers to flip it over.  Then I hopped up, hands curling over the frame, and head-butted it open as I dragged my body over to follow.  The wounds in my hand throbbed as the window banged against them, but I paid them little heed and focused instead on squeezing myself out.

Eventually making it out into the cool night air, I took another a deep breath and filled in my lungs.  The damp earthy scent of dew and soil and just sheer goodness rose to my nostrils
, and I closed my eyes briefly, savouring the moment.  Then I took a quick glance around, registering the absolute stillness of the night and the fact that I was, indeed, truly alone.  Moving forward ever so slightly, my foot caught the edge of the crumpled Initiate robes that I was still wearing.  I barely hesitated before pulling them over my head and leaving them in a pile beside my feet.  I still had my underwear on underneath, if the unlikely happened and I ran into someone while I was out here.  Personally, I doubted whether anyone would be all that keen to view my greying and now somewhat holey smalls anyway.   Besides, just for now, for this moment, I needed the sense of freedom and the connection, however tiny, to my old life.

And then I took off.  The mage issue shoes weren’t really designed for running
, but it didn’t matter.  I was out and in the open.  Life was good.  I jogged at an even pace round to the back of the house, occasionally jumping over the odd bush.  Once in the garden where I’d taken the oaths, that somehow seemed almost lifetime away now even though it had actually only been a couple of days, I skirted round the statue and sped up, sprinting now.  I passed perfectly planted rose-bushes, void of flowers now it was the dead of winter, but with thorns still gleaming in the moonlight; and pruned hedges and carefully raked soil just waiting for the first sneaking sign of spring before being sown and tended.  There was no wind, but the cool night air still brushed arrogantly past my naked skin as I continued to pound my way around.

After a while I veered off left and ended up on the cobbled pathways
, which twisted through the buildings that housed the different disciplines.  I reached out and scraped my fingertips along the rough walls as I ran, almost as if I was double checking that they were real.  When I reached the door that led through to Illusion, I slowed for a moment.  The gateway remained firmly in place this time.  Then I dismissed it and continued on.

By the time I got back to the windows of the cafeteria, I was breathing hard.  My skin and muscles felt pleasantly tingly all over as the enjoyment of exertion rippled through me.  I felt better than I had done in a long time.  Picking up the robes from where I’d left them, I decided not to bother trying to strain myself to clamber back inside them.  Instead I jumped up and clung onto the edge of the window frame and shoved them through, pushing myself after them.  The sleeve of the robes caught against something so I tugged hard without think
ing, realising too late that had been a dumb move as the fabric ripped violently.  Oops.

I yanked them off whatever had snagged them and peered down in the darkness, trying to ascertain what damage had been done.  The moon took that opportunity, however, to sneak its way back behind the clouds.  Shrugging to myself, I balled them up in front of me and headed back to my room to sleep.

Chapter Seven

When I woke again a few hours later, I stretched out lazily like a cat, enjoying the slight tautness in my muscles.  Then, humming to myself, I sprang up and padded over to the sink, splashing my face with water.  My night-time jaunt had clearly done wonders for my mood, and I felt lighter and more carefree than I had done in a long time.

Craving several cups of dark chewy coffee, I picked up my robe
s from where I’d left them in a haphazard heap on the floor and shook them out.  The only other replacement robes I’d been given had already been sent to the academy’s laundry room the previous morning, and I knew from what Mary had said that I could expect them back by Saturday, but, even in this era of attempting to conserve energy and water by not continually washing, I felt that I – and everyone else in fact - deserved at least one other outfit.  All these magic lessons involved exerting a lot of energy, often surprisingly physically so, and being surrounded by adolescents going through sweaty puberty did not exactly offer much opportunity to enjoy an odour-less society.  I gave the robes a sniff, but fortunately my foray into the front gardens had somehow imbued them with the soft but not unpleasant smell of damp grass. Less happily, they had the appearance of having been crumpled into a ball and left for several hours – which of course they had.  Sighing, I smoothed them out as best as I could and began the daily routine of contorting my body so I could put them on.  At the very point of achieving success, and completing the final maneuver of yanking my head and neck through, I distinctly heard the sound of another fabric rupture. 

Looking down, I realised that there was a tear running from the bottom hem of the robes to halfway up my thigh.  Shit.  Perhaps I could get a safety pin from someone later on, I thought hopefully.  I moved around a bit trying to see just how obvious the damage was, but it seemed that fortunately the robes were billowy enough
for my modesty to be more than adequately covered.  I shrugged and figured they’d just have to do.  I quickly changed the dressing on my hand, noting with satisfaction that the lacerations caused by punching through the window yesterday were healing nicely, then ran my hands over my skull, feeling the beginnings of stubbly re-growth.  I supposed part of me should thank Thomas for the fact that I didn’t have to worry about bad hair days any more.  Then I snorted.  The day I’d thank him for anything would be the day that dragons flew again through the sky.

Once back in the cafeteria, which
I was oddly starting to feel rather at home in, I ignored the fruit plates and baskets of bread and croissants and instead made straight for the coffee urn.  The cups on offer were rather on the small side, so I poured myself three and then balanced them precariously over to an empty table.

I was savouring the dregs of the second cup, when someone plonked themselves down beside me.  Startled, I flicked my eyes up.

“Hey,” said Brock, placing down a tray covered with a mass of fried food that only a teenager could eat and not feel guilty about.

“Uh, hey,” I replied, somewhat nonplussed.

He lifted up his plate and gestured at me to try some kind of doughy sugary ball thing.  I shook my head, and lifted up cup number three instead.  Brock grunted and began to wolf down his food at an alarming rate, finishing before I’d even drunk down to the end of my coffee. 

Then he pushed his chair back and grunted.  “See you.”

I genuinely smiled.  “Bye, Brock.”  Wonders would never cease.  It would appear that I may have made another, if perhaps rather taciturn, new friend.

“Initiate Smith?” called an unpleasantly familiar voice from the other side of the room.

Fucking Thomas.  I’d been hoping that I’d have time to sneak another cup of coffee.  I sighed and stood up whilst he crooked his little finger at me, beckoning me over.  A flash of heat travelled down to my toes as I walked over to join him.  Jeez, wasn’t I just becoming the well trained little sham Initiate?

Once I reached him, he smiled down at me, although it didn’t somehow quite reach his eyes. 

“I hope you’re ready to begin your Protection lesson,” he said looking over my wrinkled attire with a disapproving frown.

“I can’t wait, Mage Thomas,” I replied, injecting as much fake enthusiasm as I could possibly muster.

A grimace crossed his flat features.  “You’re going to have to, of course, get over your aversion to me touching you if you are going to have any chance of succeeding.”

I started guiltily at his words.  I didn’t have a problem with him touching me: he just tried to do it at the most inopportune moments.  With no appropriate answer, I just shrugged innocently and followed him out of the cafeteria.

When we were outside in the fresh air and heading towards what I presumed was the Protection building, Thomas chose to speak again.  “So, I hear that you are starting to win over some new friends.”

I couldn’t help myself from grinning and nodding.  “It’s all Mary really.  That girl is like some kind of unstoppable
force of nature.  Once she puts her mind to something I don’t imagine much gets in her way.”