Blossoms of Love (49 page)

Morning came and Lamont was glad it had stopped snowing. He wanted Natalie out of the house as soon as possible. After breakfast, he called the airport and her flight would be leaving at two this afternoon. After lunch, he told Barbara and Natalie, “I’ve decided to sign the papers. I’ll take the boy if. . .” Natalie said, “If I die. Don’t be afraid to say it. Thank you Monty. You don’t know how scared I was coming here. I was afraid you’d say no. I knew I had to try, my son’s whole life depends on it” She handed him the papers. Lamont and Barbara signed them. When they gave them back to her, “They ill be filed in my lawyer’s office. He has no connection with my husband. Thank you again Barbara for being so kind to me.” Barbara said, “I love people, so I couldn’t treat you bad.” Natalie said, “Maybe that’s why I couldn’t be happy. I didn’t love people.” She looked at Lamont, “I guess I never knew how to love either—until Jimmy was born.” Lamont asked Barbara, “Aren’t you going to the airport with us?” Barbara said, “No darling. I have a few things to do while you’re gone.” Natalie asked, “Barbara, may I kiss you goodbye?’ Barbara couldn’t keep the tears out of her eyes. She knew Natalie was really saying goodbye. Barbara said, “Of course you can.” Lamont was stunned by these two women.

All the way to the airport they were silent until they were almost there. Natalie said, “Monty, I’m not asking you to even like me but please, don’t hate me.” For a second he didn’t say anything then he said, “I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you.” She turned her head towards him but looked down as she said, “I wish Jimmy had been your son because you’re the only person in my life I’ve ever loved, besides Jimmy. I took your love and used it. I’m sorry Monty. I’m sorry I hurt you. Lamont sighed, “There’s no point in going over all that. It’s over and done with. It’s a part of my life I don’t want to remember.” Natalie said, “That’s funny isn’t it? That’s the part of my life I like to remember the most. The good times we had. Those wonderful nights together.” Lamont said, “Cut it Natalie. I don’t want to hear about it.”

He parked the car and they walked to the entrance. Her plane would leave in ten minutes. She had no bags and she had her ticket. When they got to the gate, they called her plane on the PA system. Natalie looked up at Lamont, “Thank you—thank you so much Monty for everything. Thank you for the love you once had for me.” She raised up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. Then she hurried towards the plane. In spite of himself, he couldn’t keep from feeling an empty space inside of him. It was there every time she’d walk away from him and he couldn’t help it. She stopped at the top of the steps that led to the door of the plane. She looked back at Lamont and waved then disappeared inside.

Lamont quickly walked to the car. He wanted to get back to Barbara, to the woman who he knew loved him.

As he drove along the road, he kept thinking of Natalie. He thought of the first time he saw Natalie’s body. She was small framed, yet her full breasts were something to look at. He remembered he was almost afraid of hurting her because she had such a frail body. Natalie was a person that a man just naturally wanted to cuddle and protect, and love tenderly.

A car blew at him and he lost his train of thoughts. He stepped on the gas. He wanted to get home. As he drove getting nearer to home, he thought of Barbara. Dear, sweet Barbara. She was just the opposite of Natalie. She wasn’t very pretty. Her figure was nice, but not outstanding. She never depended on anyone completely. She didn’t always take, she also gave. Lamont smiled to himself because he knew he loved Barbara more than he had ever loved anyone. Being together, same as one, doing little things for each other, being thoughtful, sharing their troubles as they do their happiness. All of that is love. He and Barbara had all of this. Suddenly, he had a blow out.

He pulled off the road. By the time he got the flat fixed and got it back on the car, it was dark. He looked at his watch. He has been gone nearly five hours. Barbara was out at the ranch all alone. He got back in the car and pulled out on the road. It had started to snow again.

He had to drive slow it was snowing so hard. When he stopped the car in the carport, he noticed there wasn’t a light on in the house. He opened the kitchen door, “Barbara, Barbara I’m home.” He turned the kitchen light on. Then the den. He went to their bedroom. From the hall light he could see her sitting by the window with nothing on but a thin gown. He went over and asked, "Why didn’t you answer me? You scared the hell out of me when I didn’t see a light on and you didn’t answer me.” Then he noticed she’d been crying.

He gently pulled her up in his arms, “What’s wrong baby?” Why the tears? Were you afraid. I’d been here sooner but I had a damn flat tire. That sounds corny but it’s true.” Suddenly, she clung to him, “I was afraid maybe Natalie still had a hold on you. I was so afraid she tried to make love to you because she still loves you.” He kissed her on the ear, “Don’t you know how I love you? I don’t want anyone else. You’re the only one for me baby.” Barbara said, “I know you love me but you still have feelings for her too. I know you can’t help it. She was your first love and she’s so pretty.” He kissed her tenderly, “I never thought once of not coming back.” Barbara cried, “Oh Monty, I’ve been going through agony and when you were late –“ He whispered, “Baby, baby, she’s not worthy of your little finger. You’re the one who opens the gate to paradise for me. Just you kitten.” They made love and it was such a sweet love.

The next day when Lamont and David were in the stables alone Lamont said, “I’ve not had a chance to tell you—Natalie was here while you were gone.” David looked at Lamont, “Damn! She just won’t ever leave you and Barbara alone will she?” David stopped pitching the hay to the mares, “What in the hell did she want this time?” Lamont sat down on a bale of hay, “You better sit down before I tell you.” David looked puzzled but he sat down on another bale of hay. Lamont said, “She spent the night here.” David said, “I bet that as great.” Lamont said, “It wasn’t too bad. I was expecting fireworks to start because Barbara is so jealous of Natalie. Would you believe, the two of them parted real friendly? Almost like good friends?’ David said, “Women! You can never predict what a woman will do. Why did Natalie come?” Lamont said, “Natalie thinks she will die when she starts in labor to have her baby.” David said, “Die? You know how dramatic Natalie can be” Lamont said, “No Dave, these are facts. Her doctor told her two months ago she had developed some kind of heart trouble. She didn’t say what kind. Her doctor wanted her to have an abortion but she flatly refused. The doctor said she could die giving birth.” David looked at Lamont. He could see that he did believe Natalie. David said, “Who knows about this?” Lamont said, “Just the doctor and us. Her husband doesn’t even know.” David sighed, “Her husband would be the last one she would tell. I know my sister has made an ass of herself but that husband of hers is the biggest ass of them all. He married Natalie because he thought the Agar name would help him as a lawyer. I know Nat married him to give Jimmy a name and a home. The damn son-of-a-bitch didn’t live up to his bargain. After they were married, he flatly refused to adopt Jimmy. He also gives Jimmy a hard time. The kid is afraid to move around him. I guess Nat got what she deserves. Where heels are concerned, she got the cream of the crop. Do you know my mother thinks he is the greatest person that Nat could have married? You know why? Because he is a lawyer and is in good standing with her so-called friends. I’m sorry Monty. Every time I think of him I have to blow off steam. I thought Ralph was a heel but he’s okay next to that guy. Why did Natalie come? Lamont said, “She wants me and Barbara to take Jimmy if anything happens to her.” David said, “I’ll be damned! I’ve heard of everything now. How does she have the guts to ask you to do that? A boy who doesn’t belong to you and is a bastard. Lamont said, “Hey Dave, he’s your nephew.” David said, “Yea, I know the kid can’t help how he came here. I do feel sorry for him.” Lamont said, “Natalie explained why she came to me. She couldn’t think of letting him stay with your parents knowing how your father’s health is and knowing how your mother really hates the boy. Della and Porter are too old. She said you had two children and one on the way and she certainly didn’t want her husband to have him. So I was her last chance.” David said, “I still don’t see how she had the nerve to ask you.” Lamont sighed, “She’s desperate Dave. She does love her son.” David said, “I just don’t believe Natalie is that sick. I don’t think she would risk her life for an unborn child. You know Monty, I’ve almost disowned Natalie as a sister. When it comes down to it—I still care for her.” Lamont said, “You should Dave. I’ll always have feelings for her. Not as a lover or a wife, but as a pretty, frail girl who never grew up and was spoiled and pampered. Natalie has searched for love she couldn’t get at home or a love that I couldn’t give her. I think she gave up looking when she failed to get a home for Jimmy. I don’t think Natalie would ever kill herself but if death came near, I think she would reach out and welcome it.” David said, “Well, you did turn her down didn’t you?” Lamont answered, “ She brought adoption papers for me and Barbara to sign. We signed them.” David said, “You what?? Monty are you crazy?” “Look Dave, if I didn’t sign them and she didn’t make it, there is a young boy’s future without hope, love, or a home. It was a hard decision, but I’m glad I did sign the papers.” David looked at his best friend, “I hope you don’t ever regret it.” Lamont said, “I don’t think I could live with myself knowing I could give Jimmy a good home, love, and hope for the future, and not try.” David asked, “How does Barbara feel?” Lamont answered, “She will accept him with open arms.” David said, “I should have known she would. I would have taken him. Nat should have known that.” Lamont suggested, “So see her one weekend soon Dave. Make peace with her.” David said, “Monty I just can’t believe she will die. She’s only thirty three. She’s still a young woman.” Lamont got up from the hay, “I hope she doesn’t for no matter what Barbara and I can give Jimmy, it’s no comparison to her love for him.” David said, “I’ll go see her next weekend.”

David did go the very next weekend. Natalie was alone. She was very glad to see him. She was wearing a very expensive negligee. Natalie always loved beautiful, expensive clothes. Even though her body was swollen with child, she still looked pretty. Right away David could see Natalie wasn’t well. She hugged his neck and smiled, “You’re just in time for lunch. I won’t have to eat alone.” She poured the coffee. She looked so tired and was much bigger with this child than she was with Jimmy. Natalie asked, “Did Carolyn come?” David said, “No, you know she is in her sixth month. She’s not been too well with this baby. I don’t want her to have any more.” Natalie said, “Three children is a nice family.” David looked at his sister, “Nat, Monty told me about your visit.” Natalie looked down at her coffee cup, “I was sure he would tell you. You two have always told each other things. You know I was gone from nine o’clock Friday morning until ten thirty Saturday night and Roy (her husband) never cared enough to ask where I had been. Dad knew, I told him. Jimmy stayed with him.” David said, “Why did you ask Monty to take Jimmy if something happened to you? I would have taken him.” Natalie drank some of her coffee, “I know you would but I knew Monty could never father another child. He and Barbara need another one. I owe that much to Monty. I will give him my son and that will pay him for the trouble I’ve caused him. You don’t know how relieved I was when he signed the papers. I’ve got everything fixed now. Monty won’t need to furnish any money for Jimmy. He is well taken care of as far as money is concerned. I have money in the bank for him and I already have it fixed that if I die, Monty can get it out of the bank for Jimmy.” David looked at his sister, “You talk like you’re sure you’re gonna die. You talk about it like you don’t really care.” Natalie put her hand on his, “I don’t care Dave.” David said, “You don’t mean that. You’re young and have many more years ahead of you.” Natalie said, “Years of what? For a mother who doesn’t know what affection for a child is, for a father who has one foot in his grave, for a son I can’t give a good home, to an unborn child whose father will never love, for a husband who would never let me go. Not because he loves me but because it would make him look bad to get a divorce. What do I have to live for? If I died, Jimmy would have a good home and would be happy. My unborn child would have a good home and be loved by Roy’s parents. They don’t like the way Roy does. I’m not complaining Dave, I had my chance for happiness with Monty and I blew it.” Dave asked, “Have you thought about what it will do to Jimmy?” Natalie said, “He’s young, in time he would be alright.” David said, “Damn Nat. You got me talking like you’re gonna die.” Natalie said, “I’m sure I will. So is my doctor, that’s why he wanted me to have an abortion.” David said, “So you decided to take the easy way out. Damn! Nat, anyone can just lay down and die. Get your things packed and you and Jimmy come home with me. You can have your baby there. Boy can’t do a damn thing about it. I won’t let you die. I’ll make you fight for your life.” Natalie smiled, “Thanks Dave for being so concerned. I can’t do that. I wouldn’t if I could. I couldn’t live that near Monty without wanting him. It would hurt too much to see him and Barbara together. Oh, Dave if only I could live my life over. Sometimes, when I’m alone, I think of Monty and I wonder how I could have been so stupid. When I saw him last week, I ached for his arms to hold me but I knew that could never happen again.” Natalie took a bit of food, “He loves Barbara very much doesn’t he?” David said, “Yes he does. He and Barbara are very happy. Monty adores their son.” Natalie said, “I’m glad. Really I am. I’m glad Monty is happy. I like Barbara, she’s so down to earth and considerate.”

David stayed with Natalie all day and stayed with his parents that night. Natalie drove him to the airport the next morning. As they waited in the lounge for the plane to come in Natalie said, “I’m so glad you came. I’ve really enjoyed talking with you Dave.” David said, “Natalie, I want you to pull through this. I want you to promise me that you’ll fight for your life.” Natalie said, “Of course I’ll fight. Don’t worry, everything will be alright. Just don’t worry.” The plane came in and Natalie walked with him to the gate. She hugged and kissed him, “Bye Dave. You’re a wonderful brother.” David knew she was saying goodbye to him forever. He kissed her. He said as he went through the gate, “Remember what I said, fight.” She smiled through tears, “Kiss Carolyn and the children for me.” When the plane taxied around for take off, David could see her still standing by the gate. She looked so alone.