Blossoms of Love (57 page)

He reached for her to put her in bed and she grabbed his shirt tearing all the buttons off. She said, “Love me Monty, damn it.” He picked her up and carried her to the bed. She got a hand under his tee-shirt and pinched him. He laid her down on the bed. Before he could get the cover over her, she had unzipped his pants and had her hand inside. He couldn’t stop the desire that immediately rose within him. He began undressing, “ Okay baby, if you want me so much, you can have me.” When he was nude, he reached around and unhooked her bra. She was drunk enough she didn’t care if he saw her whole body. He pulled the bra away from her and then he saw the long, ugly scar. Lamont could see why she didn’t want him to see her. He pushed her panties off and whispered, “Love me babe.”

For the first time since the operation, Lamont kissed her body over and over. She begged for him. His hands possessed her and her hands possessed him. Their bodies were stimulated with such a burning sensation for each other, their climax came sooner than they wanted it too. Lamont lay lifeless beside her for a moment. Then he raised up and saw she was sound asleep. He covered her body with the sheet and blanket. He got up and dressed. He went over and looked down at her, “babe, you were really hot.”

She slept until supper. When she woke, she could just remember tearing the buttons off Lamont’s shirt. Then she noticed she was completely nude. Jimmy tapped on the bedroom door, “mom, supper is ready.” Barbara said, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

She had just got to the table when Jesse and Lamont came in. They had a pleasant meal.

That night after Lamont took his shower, Barbara asked, “Monty will you sit down here.” He sat down on the chair near the bed near where she was sitting on the bed. She asked, “Can we talk without getting mad at each other?” He said, “Yes, I think we can. We do need to talk.” She said, “First of all I want you to know I’m sorry about getting drunk. Lamont asked, “How long have you been doing this?” She answered, “About two months. I started drinking just once in a while. It’s come to the point I can’t seem to function any more without something to drink. She looked down at her hands folded in her lap, “I’m scared Monty. I’m afraid I’ve become an alcoholic.” He sighed, “I don’t think you have this soon. If you don’t stop you will be. You’ve got a good start.” He took her hands in his, “Talk to me Barbara. If you’ll just tell me what is wrong?” Barbara said, “It sounds so silly.” He said, “Try me. Barb I want to help you.” Barbara took a deep breath and said, “Okay, here goes. Monty all my life I’ve known I was ugly. I’ve got a big nose, a big mouth, and my hair is even an ugly brown. I never thought much about my body until long ago in Japan. The first time you saw me nude you said I had a nice body. You really bragged on my breasts, how nicely they were shaped. After that I knew I did have something that attracted you. The first time you made love to me, I knew you were the man for me. Then later, you married Natalie. I kind of went off the deep end. I went to bed with two men at different times but I couldn’t take that. I hated it when they touched me or even kissed me. Only your kisses and touches made me come alive. You made me feel beautiful. Then when I saw you at the ski lodged and learned you and Natalie were on the verge of separating for good, I prayed you would fall in love with me. Yet when I’d look in the mirror my hopes and dreams would vanish because Natalie had both. She had the face of an angel and the body of a model. Then, when Dad was killed and you took me home with you, I began to hope again. Those days in California were wonderful. All my hopes and prayers were answered. You told me you loved me. Then my life was shattered when you were reported missing in action but what kept me going was the baby I was carrying. Your baby. Inside of me I still had a part of you. When you did come back and we got married, I could hardly believe you were mine, all mine. Then the operation, All I had to give you was my body. I feel you have been cheated. I have nothing to offer you any more. I know how honorable you are and you’ve got a heart as big as all outdoors. You would stay my husband. Monty, you just couldn’t love me now and it’s driving me crazy. I know how sick you must get when we make love.” Lamont asked, “Have you finished?” Barbara said, “All except one thing. I want you to know you are free if you want to be. I won’t stand in your way.” The room was silent for a few seconds. Then Lamont said, “I’m not such an honorable man that I would live with you if I didn’t love you. What kind of man do you think I am. Do you think I would say I loved you if I didn’t? Look Barbara, all your life you’ve had this obsession about being ugly. You are not ugly. I admit you’re no sex symbol and that’s fine with me because I don’t want a sex symbol. I want a woman that is all woman. A woman that makes my home a happy one. A woman who is a good mother. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and when you and I make love, you awaken a fire, a powerful emotion of intense feelings that make me forget anything exists except you and me engrossed in the sweetness of each other. I don’t think a person can have these feelings if they don’t love that person. If you can’t believe what I just said then I know of no other way to tell you.” Barbara looked at Lamont and said, “I’ve never heard you speak such beautiful words.” She took his hand in hers, “What you said I know came from your heart. Your eyes are full of love. Monty I’ve been such a fool. I do believe you. Oh yes my darling, I do believe you.” Lamont said, “Okay. Now the first step is to get all the booze out of this house so it won’t be tempting you.” Barbara said, “I promise you I’ll never drink again.” He gathered her in his arms, “The blossoms of our love are still in full bloom babe.” He kissed her then she asked, “Did you see—my body today?” Lamont answered, “Yes. Every inch of you. It isn’t a pretty sight but neither am I.” She smiled, “You’re right darling, we’re both wrecks.”

They began to make love and Lamont touched her and their lovemaking was beautiful. Within a day or two, Barbara was back to her old self. Lamont told Jimmy the reason for his mother’s drinking was she was upset about something and she was alright now. Everything went fine. Everyone seemed happy.

Then on July 4
^th
, all the Ellmans and David’s family got together at Lamont’s house. The older children played ball with the Ellman brothers. Others just sat around and watched. The day passed swiftly for everyone because they were having such a good time. When the game was over, Lamont went in the house to change tee-shirts. When he walked in their bedroom, he saw Barbara drinking something. He asked, “What are you drinking?” She seemed very nervous, “I have a headache. I was just taking something for it. The way she looked made Lamont doubt what she said. He walked over to her and took the glass from her hand. Then he took a swallow of it. Lamont’s eyes darkened as they always did when he got angry, “You lied to me. This is booze. You have never stopped drinking have you?” She said, “I couldn’t stop. I tried Monty. I swear to God I tried.” Lamont said, “Damn it Barbara why did you lie to me?” She answered, “We’ve been so happy. I didn’t want to spoil it.” Lamont sighed, “How bad are you hooked on this damn stuff?” She said, “I can’t get by a day without it.” Lamont began looking for it all over the room. Every time he found a bottle, he would pour it out. Barbara followed him around begging, “Please don’t Monty. I have to have it. Please don’t do this to me.” Lamont tore their bedroom upside down. The room looked like a wreck. David came in the house to tell Barbara and Lamont they had to go home. When he saw them and the room he asked, “What in the hell are you doing Monty? This room looks like a storm has hit it.” Lamont said, “I just found out my wife is an alcoholic.” David just stood in the door with his mouth wide open. He couldn’t believe what Lamont had just told him. Lamont asked, “Hard to believe isn’t it? She’s got the damn stuff hidden everywhere in this room and I bet the whole house too.” David looked over at Barbara. She was crying. Lamont said, “Dave, will you tell everybody why I can’t come back out? I’ve got to find every bottle in this house.” David asked, “You want me to tell them?” Lamont said, “Yes. They will know anyway.” Soon everyone left.

They were just as shocked as David was. Lamont got Sara to take the boys to his mother’s house for the night. When Sara got back he asked her, “Did you know Barbara was drinking?” Sara said, “Yes I knew. I wanted to tell you but Barbara begged me so hard not to tell you. I just couldn’t.” Lamont said, “You should have Sara. Do you know where she keeps her bottles? Sara answered, “No I don’t. She would go to town once a week. I guess that is when she would buy it. I never saw where she put it.”

After searching their whole house, he went back to their bedroom. She looked at him. She looked so helpless and alone. She said, “I’m sorry Monty.” Lamont sat down on the side of the bed, “I’m mad as hell Barbara but mostly at myself. I should have known you were hooked when Jimmy saw you drunk.” He reached out and pulled her in his arms, “We’re gonna whip this thing. You’ve got to fight harder than you’ve ever fought for anything. It’s gonna be rough but you can do it.” Barbara cried, “Yes I can whip it if you’ll be with me.” Lamont said, “I’m with you all the way. I just wish you had told me. Don’t keep things from me. I’m your partner for life, you should share your problems with me. Together we can fight them.”

That night was terrible. Her stomach began to burn and her nerves were edgy. By midnight she woke Lamont crying and doubled up in a knot. She cried, “I can’t stand it Monty.” Her body was clammy with cold sweat. He got a wash cloth and put it on her forehead. Barbara begged, “Just give me one drink Monty.” Lamont said, “There isn’t anything to drink.” It wasn’t long until Barbara was wild with pain. He could hardly hold her in bed. He wished he hadn’t thrown it all away she was in so much pain. She looked at him, “There’s just a little bottle in the rose bush at the back door. Please Monty, get it for me.” He got a flashlight and went to the rose bush. There it was. Enough for one good drink. He didn’t want to give it to her but what could he do? She was in a terrible fix. It was only a few minutes until she was calm and quiet. Lamont sat on the chair and watched her. She looked at him, “What have I done to us?” Lamont said, “You’re hooked worse than I thought. We can’t do this without help. We’ll go see Dr. Morris, maybe he can help us.”

Dr. Morris told them Barbara could be cured but she would have to go to a hospital in Butte. Dr. Morris said, “It is a good hospital for drying out. There are three doctors that care for that part of the hospital. They built a wing off from the main floor and all they have is patients who are drying out from alcohol and dope. One of the doctors is a good friend of mine. I’ll see if I can get her in. The place is always full.”

Dr. Morris got his secretary to call and then he talked to a doctor. When he hung up he said, “We are lucky. He is dismissing a patient today. She can be admitted this afternoon.” He wrote down a name, “Here’s the name of the doctor to see.” Lamont asked, “How long will it take?” Dr. Morris replied, “Well, that depends on you Barbara but you will be cured when you leave the hospital.”

As she packed her bag in their bedroom, Lamont got the boys and told them he had to talk to them. They both sat down on the couch in the den. Lamont sat down across from them on a chair. The little boys knew it was something very important. Jimmy asked, “Is it about Mom?” Lamont said, “Yes it is. You see boys, your mother is a very sick person. She has to go to the hospital to get well.” Robbie said, “Daddy, didn’t Mommy get well before?” Lamont said, “Yes but this is a different sickness.” Jimmy asked, “How long will she be there?” Lamont answered, “I don’t know son but we want her to stay until she is well, don’t we?” They both nodded their heads. Jimmy asked, “Will you stay with Mom?” Lamont replied, “No. I’ll go see her on weekends.”

When Barbara kissed the boys before she got in the car, Robbie cried and Jimmy looked like he would.

On their way to the hospital Barbara said, “Monty, if I don’t get cured, I won’t be back home. I’ve screwed your life up enough already.” Lamont said, “You’ll whip it. It may take a while but you’ll do it.”

The wing of the hospital was large and had two floors. The alcoholics were on one floor and the dope addicts on the other. A nurse took Barbara to her room. Barbara undressed and put a robe on over her gown. The nurse told Lamont he could visit her for a few minutes. Barbara looked around the room. It was nice with carpet on the floor and a big over stuffed chair near the bed. There were no mirrors and bars were on the window. Lamont came in the room. Barbara said, “It’s a nice room except for the bars on the window.” Lamont said, “I hate like hell leaving you here.” He reached out and took her in his arms. She clung to him. He said, “We’ve always whipped our problems, we’ll do it again.” He kissed her tenderly, “I’ll see you this weekend.” She said, “Thanks darling for being my friend and not only a husband.” He winked at her, “That’s the way it should be babe.” A nurse came in the room, “It’s time for you to leave Mr. Ellman.” He kissed her again and Lamont knew he would never forget how Barbara looked at him, like a lost, frightened child. “You’ll make it babe. You got to. You’ve got a husband and two boys that need you.”

Lamont went to the doctors office at the entrance of the hospital. The doctor introduced himself to Lamont, “I am Dr. James Silver. I will be your wife’s doctor. I just finished talking with Dr. Morris. Your wife is a very special friend of his, I’ll take special care of her. Sit down Mr. Ellman, let me explain what we do here.”

The doctor took time to go into detail what they did and how they did it. He also said, “Some of the patients will say we are mean to them. That is because we won’t let them drink and we watch them constantly. They will try anything to get that drink their body craves. Some alcoholics are as hard to cure as dope addicts. We will make your wife as comfortable as possible.” He got a chart that was lying on his desk, “I’ll need some information. Let’s see, her full name and age is here. How long has she been drinking?” Lamont said, “I don’t know exactly. I guess about a year.” Dr. Silver said, “I see. Did she drink constantly?” Lamont answered, “No, just some every day. That’s why I didn’t know. She didn’t drink when I was around.” The doctor said, “That’s good. These constant drinkers are harder to deal with.” Lamont asked, “Do you have any idea how long she will be here?” The doctor answered, “It depends on your wife. If she is really determined to stop drinking, then it won’t take as long.” Lamont said, “She does want to quit. I’m sure she will cooperate.” Dr. Silver said, “That’s a lot harder to do than just wanting to. She will have to be determined. I hope she won’t be here long.”