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With one quick thrust, he entered me, pushing as deep as he could. Grasping my hips, he held me there, his breath coming in and out in long draws, leaving me desperate for him to move his hips even just a little.

As if he’d read my mind, he pulled almost all the way out of me before sinking into me again.

The sound of my breath hissing through my teeth seemed to spur him into action. He pounded into me so fast and so hard I could barely hold on. I clutched the sheet to brace myself as sweet release began to build. That was the first of several orgasms had that night. We went at it in a primal, animalistic way until the sunlight finally peeked out from behind the curtains. It was strictly sex, but that didn’t keep the love I felt for him from multiplying that much more.

He finished with a loud groan and kissed me passionately on the lips. There had been plenty of kisses, bites, and licks, but not one so intimate as that kiss. It felt like a goodbye kiss. When he parted from my lips, the hole he’d left in my soul so many years before doubled in size, effectively ripping me to pieces.

Rolling to my side, I wished for him to just leave. If I looked at him anymore, I feared I wouldn’t be able to tell him to go, and I absolutely had to. The only hope I had was that he’d be able to get away from his father and away from the fighting so we could maybe have a life together one day.

He slipped into his clothes and left without a word. Not even looking back at me lying there alone. It was just what I wanted him to do, but his absence nearly caused me to stop breathing. Choking back tears, I got up and ran to the bathroom as soon as the door closed behind him. I turned the knobs in the shower to make the water as hot as I could possibly stand it before getting in. The water streamed over my body, washing the scent of Irish Spring and masculine sweat off me.

The tears flowed from my eyes until I started to believe I no longer had eyeballs from all the crying. I spent so much time in the shower that I shivered when the heat went away. Turning off the water, I stepped out and slipped into the long, white robe I’d been sleeping in. Climbing into bed, I couldn’t help but think of the first time we’d been intimate, not long after I’d seen him fight Preston the first time.

* * *

“You haven’t talked to him at all?” Sophie asked.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t know what to say to him. He really scared me.”

“Okay, but don’t you think it’s kind of hot that he took up for you like that? I mean, it sounds to me like Preston was being really rude to you. I think what Jet did was sweet. I’d love it if a boy took up for me like that.”

“You didn’t see him, Soph. I thought he was going to kill Preston. He went all kinds of crazy on him. I’ve never seen someone be so brutal.”

The first bell for the buses rang, interrupting our conversation.

“Shit,” Sophie said under breath. “I’m sorry, babe. We’ll talk later, okay?”

I nodded as she hurried off down the hallway to her bus. My bus was one of the later ones, and I had a good ten minutes before it’d be there.

Jet hadn’t spoken to me at all and hadn’t come to my house like he’d been doing before the fighting incident. He seemed to avoid me since the altercation he’d had with Preston. I knew he was still going to school. I’d seen him in the hallway at a distance a couple different times, but he didn’t show up to the class we had together all week. It hurt not seeing him there, knowing he had to be intentionally skipping so he wouldn’t have to deal with me.

Pulling up on the lever, I opened my locker door. One red rose, settled on top of a note, lay on the top shelf. A smile grew on my lips, knowing it had to be from Jet. He sometimes used my locker and was the only person who knew the combination, so it had to be his doing.

I took a deep breath, my hand trembling as I unfolded the note and began to read.

I’m sorry if I scared you. I don’t want to lose you over this. Can I come over tonight so we can talk? -Jet

Bringing the rose to my nose, I inhaled its sweet scent. I grabbed my backpack and went outside. Jet stood off to the side talking to a guy he was somewhat friendly with. His eyes focused intently on me.

I smiled and nodded. He blinked and looked back toward the kid he was talking to. Time moved in slow motion between then and when I made it home. We had a lot to talk about. Why did he lose his shit so easily? How could he rage out like that? Would he ever do something like that to me?

I rushed through the front door, and kicked off my shoes. Starting up the stairs, I met my mother halfway. Thankfully, I had put the rose in my backpack, so at least I didn’t have to explain where it came from.

“We’re going up to Granny and Pop’s for the night. Your uncle is in for a short visit. Go get a bag packed,” she said, passing by me.

Noooooo
, I screamed inside my head. Jet was coming, and we had some things to clear up. Besides that, my uncle was an ass who always picked on me, and not in a friendly sort of way. He always had a viciousness to his jabs that no one but me ever seemed to notice. He was the last person I wanted to ditch Jet for.

“Um, mom?”

“Yeah,” she asked turning to look at me. 

“Can I sit this one out? I’m not feeling well.”

“Honey, are you okay?” she asked, bridging the gap between us and placing her hand on my forehead. “You don’t feel fevered.”

“I don’t know. I just feel crappy, like maybe I’m getting a cold or something.”

“This cold doesn’t have a name, does it?”

“Huh?” I asked, scrunching up my face in an effort to act like I didn’t know what she meant.

“Jet.”

“Mom,” I whined. “I’m not even talking to him right now. I don’t know if we’re still dating or not.” I hated lying to my mother, but if I told her the truth, there’s no way she’d let me out of the family visit.

“Well… I guess you can stay home, but your uncle and your grandparents are going to miss seeing you… Go get into bed and rest a little, okay? Want me to fix you something to eat before we leave?”

“No, I’m not hungry right now. I’ll have some soup later.”

“Okay. Love you, honey, and make sure you call if you start to feel worse and need us to come home. Otherwise, we’ll be back tomorrow evening or on Saturday. You can stay home from school in the morning, alright? Sleep in. Feel better.”

“Okay. Thanks, mom. Love you,” I said, and hurried up the stairs to my room. Now I just had to hope that they’d leave before Jet showed up.

I stared out the window, watching for them to leave and hoping I could catch him before he knocked on the door. The clock ticked closer and closer to the time he usually came over. At a little before 4:30, my mother and step-father finally left, but Jet was nowhere to be found.

I shouldn’t have been surprised. It wouldn’t be the first time he said he’d come over and then couldn’t. Maybe he didn’t see me nod. Maybe he expected something more definitive to let him know it was okay and that I wanted to talk.

A few minutes later, I headed downstairs to get a drink. A tapping from the front door made my heart skip a beat.

“Come in,” I called out.

The door opened, and Jet entered the room, a stoic look on his face.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hey,” he said, walking toward me with determination on his face. “I really fucking missed you,” he said just before his lips crashed into mine.

His hands grasped the sides of my face as I placed my hands on his hips.

I pulled away from him, looking up into his eyes.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

“Wanted to give you some space. You were afraid of me,” he said, turning his back to me.

“You didn’t have to ignore me, though.”

“Are you kidding me?” he asked and turned quickly to face me. “You might as well have told me to fuck off afterward.”

“I didn’t,” I whispered.

“No, you didn’t say that, but the way you acted did. You could barely stand to look at me.”

“I’m sorry, Jet. I didn’t know what to say or do. Preston was an asshole, for sure, but did you have to hurt him so badly?”

“Yes,” he said. He reached out to cradle my face. “He was going to
hurt
you, Evie. Don’t you see that?”

“Just because he was saying those things doesn’t mean he was going to act on them.”

“He
grabbed
you. It was written all over his face what he planned to do. And all I could see was the things he was going to do to you against your will,” he said, peering deeply into my eyes. “All I could see were the things that have been done to me, and I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want someone to steal your innocence away from you like that.”

“Jet,” I said with barely a breath. The gravity of what he was implying slammed into me, knocking the breath from my body. I knew he’d been physically and emotionally abused, but sexual abuse hadn’t crossed my mind. “Your father?”

“No,” he said and dropped his hands away from my face, turning his back to me again. “Not him.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

“No. I don’t want pity,” he said and looked at me over his shoulder before making his way to the stairs and going up them.

My mouth hung slightly open. Where the hell was he going? And why was he walking away from me after dropping such a bomb on me?

I followed him up the stairs and to my room.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, and asked, “When are your parents coming back?”

“Not until tomorrow or Saturday.”

“You asked me if I’d ever been with anyone else, and I said yes… but it wasn’t by my choice.”

I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t come off as showing him pity, so I said nothing and sat on my knees on the floor in front of him.

“I was barely fifteen and my old man had dragged in a woman to live with us. She was nasty and a drug addict. I woke up one night with her on top of me. I felt so fucking betrayed by my body. She managed to get me hard while I was asleep. I can still remember how I thought I was having an extremely realistic sex dream, but when I woke up, it was a real life nightmare.”

“Was that the only time it happened?”

“It happened a couple other times before he got tired of her and kicked her out a few weeks later.”

“Did he ever know?” I asked, trying to keep myself from being nauseated.

“Not as far as I know. I never told him, never told anyone until now.”

“Why me,” I said to myself quietly. I hadn’t meant for him to hear me. Hadn’t really meant to say it out loud, but it was a question I was dying to know the answer to. I hadn’t done anything over the top to prove myself worthy of his trust. I’d asked him the day we started dating why he felt like he loved me so soon, and he wouldn’t answer then. Maybe he would now.

“Because,” he said, leaning forward and looking deep into my eyes. “You look at me like the sun rises in my fucking eyes. You looked past all the bullshit people say about me and saw the real me. You look at me like I deserve you and the love you have to give.”

“You do deserve it,” I said, and I meant every word. I couldn’t understand how the world could be so cruel to have beaten him down to the point where he didn’t feel worthy enough to be loved.

“And that’s why I love you. I could never really tell you before, but there it is. You’re such a beautiful soul, Evie. You see the good in people even when it isn’t really there.” 

“I love you, Jet,” I said, trying to think of anything I could to express just how strongly I felt about him. Standing, I pushed him back a little and settled onto his lap. Pressing my cheek to his, I whispered in his ear, “There is good in you… Make love to me. Please?”

That night together ended up being both the best and the worst day of my life. I never felt so whole, so complete, as I did when I became one with Jet. Our bodies fit together perfectly, like we’d been made for each other. Nothing could ever compare to the way he made me feel.

But, that ended up being the last time I interacted with Jet before he disappeared from my life for almost a decade. I saw him from afar at school a couple of times after that, but he graduated the next week and summer break came and went with nothing from him. He’d left me a broken shell of the girl I once was. As far as I knew at the time, he’d apparently gotten what he wanted from me and tossed me aside like I never mattered, like I was insignificant.

I spent my days wondering how he could lie so good. I really believed the words coming out of his mouth, believed that he loved me, believed that he trusted me with his deepest, darkest secrets. I began to wonder if any of it were ever true, but deep down, I knew it was. 

* * *

I ugly cried myself to sleep in that hotel and didn’t leave my bed until later that night. I’d extended my stay until the next morning, but once I regained my composure, I had to leave. I couldn’t stay there in our sex sheets any longer. Though I’d washed his scent off my body, I could still smell him there in the bed.

I gathered my things and prepared myself for the depression I knew I’d sink into over the coming days and weeks. Oh, how it would’ve been so much easier to put everything aside and tell him that we belonged together, but I couldn’t do it. I just wasn’t there.

I made my way to the rental car after checking out. Uneasiness fell over me. The unmistakable feeling of eyes on me made my skin crawl, but I hoped I was just being paranoid in light of everything. Something deep in my gut told me I had to watch my back for at least a little while, but I chalked it up to nerves. You know what they said about trusting your gut? I definitely should’ve listened to mine.

CHAPTER 25 – JET

Every second since I’d left Evie, she hadn’t wandered from my mind. It took the last ounce of strength I had to leave her in that hotel room, but I had to respect her wishes. Truth was, I was lucky she even permitted me to be with her at all that last night.

Facing the fact that she was gone had been harder than I anticipated. What I really wanted was for her to change her mind, but with every day that went by, it seemed like the possibility got that much more remote. I shouldn’t have been surprised. She was never meant to fit into my life. Once she got a glimpse of who I really was, the love she had for me and that I had for her wasn’t enough to keep her by my side. It was for the best anyway, but it didn’t keep me from feeling like I was dying. Yeah, there was still a slim chance I could get her back, but for the time being, I’d have to be content with the memories of our time together. That might be all I was ever going to get from her.