Blue Colla Make Ya Holla (83 page)

“I need to call Jagger.” She giggled as she picked up and then dropped her phone. He wasn’t going to be happy with her at all, especially since he was at the shop. At least, he was supposed to be. After her conversation with the ladies, she wondered if that’s where he really was. He always seemed to be mad at her lately when she needed him to do something. Well, maybe that wasn’t right; it wasn’t necessarily that he was mad, but he was put out. Almost like he had other things that were more important to do rather than help her.

That thought sobered her up, and she fought against the tears that filled her eyes. She wasn’t usually teary, and it made her angry that she was now. She’d never been the kind of woman who cried when the going got tough. These things happened to other women, not Bianca Hawks. In the couple of years that she and Jagger had been together, she had never questioned their relationship; not once. It pissed her off that she was doing it now.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” she whispered as she clumsily put her phone back in her purse and got up from the table. It took every ounce of her concentration to walk without stumbling to the ladies room, but she did it. After doing her business, she slowly walked over to the sink and took a good look at herself. Sure she was a few years older than she had been when she and Jagger had met. Maybe she’d put on a few pounds and quit making sure she was made-up at all times, but she wasn’t horrible to look at by any means. Being comfortable with each other was the hallmark of a good relationship. Isn’t that what she’d always heard from all her friends? Had they steered her wrong? Because she’d never been so proud as the day she’d woken up with Jagger next to her when she was sporting raccoon eyes from the night before. He’d told her she was beautiful no matter what, and she had believed him. When had that changed? Sighing deeply, she walked back out to the table and had a seat.

“Jagger called my phone while you were in there; someone saw our cars parked here.” Meredith rolled her eyes. “He’s coming to get you, Tyler’s coming to get me, and Layne’s coming to get her. We can’t have
any
fun,” she pouted.

That pissed Bianca off; back when they had first started dating, she would be damned if she sat somewhere waiting for Jagger to come get her like she was a kid who was in trouble. She didn’t know when that had changed, but it didn’t sit well with her. “So we’re supposed to sit here and wait for them to come to our rescue?” She folded her arms over her stomach.

“That’s what Tyler said. He and I have to go pick up Addie, anyway,” Meredith referenced the young girl that she and Tyler were trying to adopt.

Jessica’s mouth tilted in a grin. “Looks like we didn’t have to wait long.”

Turning around in her seat, Bianca saw the guys walking their way. It took her a minute to focus, but she finally did successfully and sat back to watch the other couples. Tyler walked into the place like he owned it, heading for his lady like it was his mission in life. Layne shared a hot little grin with Jessica; promises of dirty things were behind those eyes that sometimes flashed with fear and anger, but that promise was enough to make Jessica squirm in her seat. B could see it out of the corner of her eye. And then there was Jagger. Instead of being amused like the rest of them appeared to be, he looked put out, just like he had every other time she’d asked him to do something with her for the past few months.

“Sorry to ruin your afternoon,” she verbally poked at him. This was the old Bianca coming through, the one who didn’t smile and go with the flow just to keep the peace.

“Get your stuff, you’re making me run behind.” His tone was rude, his face was hard, and the grim set of his lips told her that he wasn’t playing around.

She wanted to ask him what she was making him late for. Why did it matter so much when obviously he was doing something he didn’t want her to know about? Tilting her chin up in defiance, she turned her back on him. “I’d rather call a cab than go home with you. Leave me the fuck alone.”

*

Where was the
young girl who hadn’t wanted to cause issues? The one who had only wanted to spend time with him? Why was Bianca testing his patience? Jagger was not in the mood for this. He had places to be at certain times, and if he wasn’t there to get what he needed to get, he wouldn’t be paid.

“Not only do I not have time for your shit, I’m not in the mood for it either.”

He knew that his voice was harsh, he knew he was treating her badly, but he only needed a few more days. Just a few more days, and God, he was so tired. The long nights were really beginning to take their toll on him. Being an asshole wasn’t his normal MO, but it’s what he appeared to default to when he was exhausted.

“I wouldn’t want to put you in or out of a mood,” she was saying as she pushed her blonde hair over her shoulder.

Trying to be nice, he held out his hand to her. “Can we not make a scene, please?”

Glancing over to her left, she saw the girls who had been at Walker’s Wheels the day before. “Don’t want to disappoint your adoring public?” she asked, the liquor loosening her lips.

He watched as she threw some money on the table, grabbed her purse, and made her way out of the establishment. When he looked around, everyone was staring openly at him. It made him uncomfortable, and he did what he always did when he was uncomfortable—he pulled his cut closer to his body and retreated further into himself. Knowing that he had to catch up with Bianca, he hustled outside and saw her at the door of her Mustang.

*

“Shit.” Bianca leaned
her forehead against the roof of the car when she tried for the third time to put her key in the door. Like most things in her life, something was broken. This time it was the key fob that allowed her to unlock the door.

“Let me help you.”

The tone he used wasn’t the smart-ass one he’d used in the restaurant. This one said he was counting in his head in order not to lose his cool with her. It was patient in the way a parent losing their cool was patient. It made her even madder. “I don’t need or want your help.”

He rolled his eyes because he knew she couldn’t see him. “Stop being so fucking stubborn, B, and let me help you. I’m not the enemy here.”

Closing her eyes, she gathered all of her strength and turned around to face him. “Oh really? What are you then, because you sure as fuck aren’t acting like my boyfriend either. So, I wonder, what does that make me? A wife without the ring? We’ve settled in a nice little routine haven’t we?”

Anger coursed through Jagger, unchecked. She had unknowingly hit on a hot button. These were the kinds of words his mother had said to his father when they thought no one was listening. To know that their relationship had turned into
this
turned him inside out. It was ridiculous. Reaching behind her, he popped the door open.

“It wasn’t even fucking locked, B. Get in, climb over the console, and buckle up. We’re going home.”

The old B was tired and half-way passed out. All she could do was scowl and then follow his instructions, but she promised herself that once she was awake and sober there would be hell to pay.

‡

J
agger breathed a
sigh of relief when Bianca finally gave into the effects of the alcohol and passed out in the passenger seat. He no longer had to listen to the silence buzzing in his ears; it no longer had to be so painfully awkward. He fought with himself, wondering if he should tell her what he was doing, wondering if he should ruin the surprise. They were open in most of their relationship, but sometimes, he had things that he couldn’t or didn’t want tell her, and this was one of them. He wanted so badly to see the surprise on her face, to hear the catch in her breath that he knew would be there when he was finally able to let her in on the secret. He’d worked so hard to make it this far, and he didn’t want to give up now.

A part of him wanted to tell her; he hated to be at odds with Bianca, absolutely hated it. She was his best friend, his lover, and she deserved the best of everything. She was his reason for living, his reason for keeping this secret. If she could just hang on for a few more days, everything would be ready for him to be completely truthful with her. He wasn’t sure she could wait though. He wasn’t sure they could wait. He was afraid his good intentions were going to blow up in his face.

Rolling his head on his shoulders to relieve some of his tension, he drummed a beat on the steering wheel and turned the radio up. A Brantley Gilbert song came on and he had to grin. So many people compared him to the singer, and he knew that his B loved her B. Singing along, he felt the tension start to leave his body. There were three ways he dealt with the tension that sometimes gripped him tightly: riding his bike for pleasure, singing to a crowd, and burying himself balls deep in his girl. Unfortunately his day job and his night hustle were taking up all of his time. He hadn’t done any of the above in a very long time. It was almost enough to drive him completely over the edge. Pulling up to their apartment, he glanced over at her, not wanting to wake her.

He was sick of arguing, and the more he tried to keep from her, the more they argued. It tore him apart, ripped his stomach to shreds. He wasn’t used to arguing with her; they had their tiffs, but they wouldn’t normally go to bed angry with one another. That was something his parents had done, something they’d used to punish one another. It was something he’d told himself he’d never do once he found the right woman. They had gone to bed angry three nights this week.

“Jagger?”

He jumped, not having realized she’d woken up. “Yeah?”

She sniffed, running her hands over her cheeks. “What’s going on with us?”

The tone she used gutted him, and he almost broke his promise to himself in that moment. “Nothin’, sweetheart, nothin’. There’s just some things I can’t tell you right now.” He ran a hand over his couple of days’ worth of beard growth. “Trust me when I say I would never do anything to hurt you.”

Pushing her blonde hair back from her face, she shook her head as her bottom lip protruded out. It wasn’t a pout, it was a firm measure to try to hold in the emotions that were threatening to spill forth. “You’re hurting me now because I don’t know what you’re doing, and until you can be honest with me, I don’t think you should stay here.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He felt like he’d said those words in an overabundance over the last few weeks. People were losing their minds.

“No.” She shook her head, feeling sober, even after all the alcohol she’d consumed. Her moods were all over the place, sad one minute, pissed the next. She didn’t know how to process any of it. This, however, seemed like the easiest way to get him to leave her alone. “In fact, give me my keys, right now.”

“You’re not doing this to me,” he growled, jerking the keys from the ignition. “I’ve about had it up to here,” he pointed to his head, “with you and your being a brat. There are things I can’t tell you, and you act like I’m ruining your life.”

“Well I have had it up to there with you, John Edward,” she spat.

Using his given name was a low blow, and they both knew it. He hated it, hated everything that it represented. He sat back against the seat, breathing slowly as he tried to get his anger under control. Being tired and pissed were not a good combination for him, and he would hurt himself before he hurt her, but they had never fought like this before. They usually weren’t the couple to count on low blows and name calling in order to win arguments. They weren’t juvenile.