Blue Colla Make Ya Holla (9 page)

She grabbed his hand, running hers along his palm. “What kind of nightmare?”

He took comfort in her slight touch. Tears made his throat clinch. “Back when I first started racing I would have dreams. A lot of times the dreams were prophetic. If I had a dream, whether it be winning or wrecking, I would usually have that happen in the race on Saturday. I had a dream last night of fire and wrecking. I should never have taken to the track tonight. I shoulda known better.”

“Wayne, you couldn’t have known what would happen. Are you scared to get out there again?” she asked quietly.

“I think so,” he whispered, tears streaming down his face.

Grabbing his hand, she pulled him off the truck. “C’mon, let’s get outta here.”

*

“What is this
place?” Wayne asked as he pulled up next to the river.

He’d followed Clementine’s instructions to a tee and they’d ended up at what looked like boat docks.

“This is where me and my girlfriends come to get a tan. None of the guys know about it, so we don’t have to worry about anyone seeing us sunbathing topless.” She laughed.

His expression changed as she said that to one she’d never seen before. His eyes became more intense, and he slid over on the bench seat until he reached her side.

“You sunbath topless?”

“Of course. I hate tan lines. I thought all girls did,” she explained, running her tongue along her dry lips.

Wayne suppressed a shudder. The two of them had been through a lot, and he knew that sometimes desperate situations brought forth feelings that simmered under the surface. Leaning forward, he kissed her, harder than he ever had before.

“Wayne?” she asked, feeling the intensity behind it.

He grabbed her to him again, pulling her so that she sat on his lap. “Make me forget what a horrible night this has been, Clem. Make me forget about all the mistakes I’ve made. Please? You’re so perfect. Wrap me up in it.”

Clementine heard the desperation in his voice and couldn’t help but answer it. He had been through a lot of emotional anguish and so had she. She knew from a psychology class she’d taken that people often looked for physical comfort after those. Damn her, she wanted it too.

She moaned as he stretched her out on the bench seat of Lee’s old truck. She’d never done anything like this before, only heard her girlfriends whisper about it after long weekends. His mouth captured hers as his hands moved up her T-shirt covered arms. Skillfully, his tongue coaxed hers into a dance that she’d never taken before. Her fingers tangled in his hair, and she moaned as he lifted his knee up, rubbing it against her crotch.

“You’re so good and pure and wonderful. You’re nothing like me,” Wayne breathed as he took the shirt off his body and threw it in the floorboard. She had to touch him; he needed it like he needed air in his lungs.

Her hands ran up over his chest and then his shoulders and onto his back, pulling him closer to her body. “Wayne, I’ve never done anything like this before.” She breathed heavily as she broke their kiss.

“It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you,” he assured, running his hand down to the hem of her T-shirt.

Without protest, he took it off and then unhooked her bra, exposing her breasts to his hungry gaze. They were full, high, and swollen as he took them in with his eyes. Her nipples tightened as he continued to gaze at them. Smirking down at her, he leaned and took a nipple in his mouth, covering and circling it with his tongue. She felt an answering heat between her legs; something she had never felt before tightened low in her stomach. Between them, she could feel a hardness that she had never felt before, but she knew it was him. She knew that he was happy to be with her. His mouth on her breast sent her to another level. If anyone had asked her where she was and what she was doing at that moment, she wouldn’t have been able to tell them. All she knew was it felt better than anything she’d ever felt before.

Wayne fought against his head. He knew she was a virgin. He knew he didn’t have any protection, but he also knew that he wanted her. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything in his whole life. Seeing Kevin in that car had done something to him. It had given him a fear he’d never felt in his life before. She could help him with that. She could restore his faith in mankind, in humanity. Before he knew what he was doing, he had all their clothes off and two fingers ready to enter her.

“Wayne,” she moaned, her voice deep as he thrust two fingers into her. She was wet, probably wetter than any other girl he had ever been with.

Sweat poured off his forehead and down his chest. He was on fire for her. In her innocence, she was the most responsive thing he had ever seen.

“You sure you wanna do this?” His Kentucky accent seemed more strained than ever. A deep longing could be seen in his eyes; they were almost black, his passion was so intense.

She knew what he was asking her. He was asking if she wanted to give herself to him. After what had happened with Kevin, both of them knew that when they awoke the next morning nothing would ever be the same again. This moment was all they had.

“Yes, I’m positive,” she whispered on a moan as he continued to manipulate his fingers inside her. She had never felt the sensations he was awakening within her body. She wasn’t sure she’d ever feel them again.

He groaned loudly as he pulled her body flush with his. He didn’t want to frighten her, but at the same time he needed her to know just how much she affected him.

“Fuck, Clementine. You’re a natural.” He grinned, noticing the blush on her cheeks. “Don’t get shy on me now, Clem. Who knew you had so much fire inside you? You hide it well, baby.”

He pushed her down into the seat of the truck. Frankly, he wished there was some other place he could have taken her virginity. He knew she deserved more than he was giving her, but he was doing the best he could with what they had. She grasped his hair with her fingers as he trailed kisses from her neck all the way down her chest, his hot tongue bathing her nipples in heat. Before she knew it, she was panting, not sure of what she wanted, just knowing that only he could give it to her.

“Wayne, please…” she moaned, her head thrashing above him.

He pulled her arms from his waist and held them above her head. His mouth came to her ear and he whispered. He’d held back for as long as possible and he had promised he wasn’t going to hurt her, but it was time. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep from hurting her.

“This is gonna hurt, baby. I’ll be as gentle as possible.”

With that, he sheathed himself inside her, groaning at the tight heat that welcomed him. Shocked, she cried out in pain, her eyes squeezed shut, tears rolling down her cheeks. He stilled inside her, waiting for her to adjust to him, his heart breaking at the mere thought of hurting her.

“It hurts,” she gasped.

Tentatively he began to move inside her. What had once been pain, was now replaced with pleasure as her hips moved up to meet his. He smiled down into her eyes as she finally opened them. As he began to move faster and his hand moved in between their bodies to cause a sensation she’d never known before, she got lightheaded. It was as if her spirit had left her body and she was looking down upon herself. Scared, she tried to fight the feeling, not sure of what would happen once the tension left her body. Seeing this, Wayne spoke to her in low tones.

“Don’t be afraid, baby. Just let it go, it won’t hurt you. It’s incredible if you just let it happen, Clem. I want it to happen for you.”

Taking his advice, she screamed as she let the feeling overtake her. It happened so suddenly, she wasn’t exactly sure that she was still lying underneath Wayne. She looked up at Wayne and watched as his face became a mask of what looked like pleasure and pain.

“I’ve got to pull out, baby, let me pull out,” he gasped, pulling out of her body and releasing himself onto her stomach. She gasped herself as she felt it against her body, heaving deeply as he leaned against her. He stroked her hair and whispered her name as she tried to focus again.

What they had done she’d never be able to take back, and she was quiet sure she never wanted to.

“Here.” He handed her his shirt so that she could wipe her stomach off. “I got to get you home, don’t I?” he asked softly.

Without a word the two of them drove home, both embarrassed, both thinking about what was going to happen now.

‡

T
wo weeks later
Wayne wiped the sweat from his brow and released a breath he had been holding. In all the years he’d been racing he’d never been this nervous. He stood next to the hauler that had brought his car to the track and swore softly. He could feel a tension headache threatening to overtake him. Nerves were getting the best of him.

“You gonna be okay?” Billy asked, concern in his voice.

Wayne nodded. “I think so. Nerves. I’m not going to miss this for the fuckin’ world though. When I win I’m going to take the trophy to Kevin’s room and put it in there. Ya know, it might give him something to look forward to.”

Placing his fire suit over his body, Wayne zoned out. His head had to be in the game for this.

“Your momma didn’t show up,” Billy observed, his throat tight. She’d been pissed at him, and the boys. She hadn’t wanted Wayne to race again after Kevin had almost died.

“Kinda figured she wouldn’t. She cursed me to hell a few days ago. She thinks I’m gonna kill myself out here tonight. Women just don’t get it, do they?”

Placing a toothpick in his mouth, Billy grinned. “They don’t understand how much we love it. Your momma has never understood why I love this so much. She doesn’t get the smell of the gas, the roar of the engines, the cheer of the fans. The adoration. I loved it, I still love it, and I want it for you. There’s no woman that’s gonna understand that though. I hope you plan on being single for a while.”

Behind his father’s shoulder, Wayne could see a woman approaching them. He had to grin as he saw Clementine. “Nah, Dad, I do think there is one woman on this earth that loves the smell of gasoline and the roar of engines just as much as I do. If not more.”

“Hey, Mr. Harper. Wayne, how ya feelin’?”

“I’ve never been nervous before. I want to take a trophy to that hospital room for Kevin so bad that I can taste it.”

“You will, son. I’m gonna go get me a good seat for the race. Come join me when you get done, Clementine?”

“Will do!”

They watched as Billy limped off. Clementine turned to face Wayne and looked him over critically. He was very pale; his normally tan skin a pasty white.

“Are you positive you’re okay? You don’t look so hot.”

He nodded. “I just want this shit over with. I want my family back to the way it was, and I want to be able to get on with my life. I’m even kind of excited to be welcoming Kevin into the family. I know, crazy, right?”

“Not crazy. I think you’re trying to make the best of an awkward situation.”

“At least you don’t think I’m crazy.”

She smiled slightly and grabbed his hands with her own. “I could never think that about you. I like you too much.”

He reached down, gathering her up in his arms. For a few moments, he closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of her.

*