Blue Moon (19 page)

             
“Ruk, you healed me?” I ask sadly, I didn’t want Ruk to see me in a state again; it’s not fair to him.

             
“I told you not to leave my side,” He tells me in a whisper.

             
“I know,” I say as I look down in shame.

             
“Don’t you fucking dare Zara, don’t you feel bad!” He warns before I’m lifted into his arms and held tightly against his chest. As soon as I lay my head against his neck and breathe in his calming scent, my heart beats rapidly as my soul rejoins my body once again. I hide my face against him as my heart pains me from the realization of loosing Parrise, but I refuse to let Richard win, this is what he wanted.

             
“Zara, I’m sorry,” I hear Den tell me from where he stands.

I don’t reply, I can’t, I don’t have the strength to speak to him.

He pulls at his hair just before he loses it and starts smashing up the room, then kicking and punching large holes in the wall, surprising everyone with his strength. It takes all of them to subdue him, holding him down while Sallack talks to him in a calming manner. Finally, he comes to his senses and they release him. His eyes search for mine, looking up to me with total heartbreak.

             
“I will make this better, I promise you I will, I will save you,” He tells me strongly.

             
“I don’t need you to save me, I will save myself.” I say with conviction.

             
“I will be here, always here.” I laugh aloud at his statement, angering him, “You shouldn’t be living like this. We will all change that,” He shouts out.

             
“Just because my heart keeps beating it doesn’t mean that I’m living,” I tell him through gritted teeth. I had been almost on the verge of forgiving him when his words and obvious lack of faith in me stirred up my emotions. Then, starting with my hands, then my body, I begin shaking, fuelled by a deep rooted anger, trying desperately to get it under control with deep breathing, before I say something to Den I can never take back. When the red mist finally passes and I can see clearly, I’m dismayed to see my friends all looking at me with sympathy.

Den leaves the room, slamming the door behind him; soon followed by the Brothers’ and Theo, not before they kiss my forehead, and tell me how this will never happen again. I nod my head to them in understanding of their words, but that is all I see them as, empty words. I know they can help me, show me love, be my family, but that isn’t going to help me now. All I want is strength to fight for everyone I hold dear, and courage to take on the darkness as destiny dictates.

While Dallah and Julian speak in hushed voices, Ruk takes me in his arms, and before I can move away from his tenderness, my heart jumps up a beat, then a gently warmth spreads through me giving the feeling of strength and courage awakening within me.

The air shifts in the room, as Eric appears, beckoning me to him.

             
“Come to me,” Eric speaks gently.

I climb
off of Ruk and into Eric’s arms, some reason needing to be close to him.

             
“I’m sorry.” He tells me sincerely.

             
“There is nothing you could have done.”

             
“I should have got to you in time.”

             
“It doesn’t matter.” I tell him with a shake of my head.

             
“Men please leave me with Zara and the Princess for a moment,” He asks them in a commanding tone, knowing they will not leave if they think he is a threat.

             
“2 minutes,” Ruk says to him as they leave through the bedroom door.

             
“Child, Parrise is not the one, I know you know that now, and that is why you are so hurt. You need to find your chosen, he will guard you, no harm will come to you. He is so close child, open your eyes and see the truth. Princess Dallah, do not let her hide things from you, and don’t hide from her, you are sisters. I sadly have to leave now, I will be back in a few days,” He says as he disappears.

I look to Dallah nervously as I don’t know what to do with the information just given to me.

He is right about Parrise, as soon as I saw the look in his eyes tonight, I knew that he
could not be the one, even after being compelled to attack me, I begged him to fight it, but he didn’t even try. If he truly loved me, he would not have been able to hurt me the way he did. That fact hurts me much more than the beating.

Dallah calls the guys back in and Ruk comes straight over to me and cradles me in his arms.

“I’m never going to leave your side Zara, ever!” Ruk tells me meaning every word, and honestly
, I never want him to.

Dallah and I lock eyes as she nods her head to me, knowing what is going on in my mind. We end up staying up most of the night as the Brothers’ all seem reluctant to let me out of their sight. Ruk holds me tightly and growls at every man that tries to speak to me. Den doesn’t come back with them, which is probably a good thing as I don‘t know if I‘m ready to face him yet.

Finally starting to drift into sleep, I start to think about how badly Parrise will be taking all this. It has broken my heart, and it will him too, with the added guilt of being my attacker. I want him to know that I do not blame him; there was nothing he could do. Moreover, how can I ever want or trust another man, as surely the heart can only withstand so much. My chosen will have to be just as alone as I am, because I will not listen to my heart any longer. I will not follow a destiny. I will make my own life, with the family I choose. I do not need a man to save me, I have gone through so much already, without him, and I will carry on just as I have. My heart was given a second chance to love, and again, I chose wrongly, I have no more chances in love.

Chapter Twelve

Waking with a start, then thankful, as I realize I’m cradled within the safety of Ruk’s strong arms. Then frightening memories from last night come crashing down on me. Why did Richard feel the need to bring in Demitri to force Parrise to attack me, why not do it himself? Why does he hate me so terribly? All I know is that soon I will watch him die with a smile on my face! Then I will take my revenge on Demitri!

“Beautiful, how do you feel?” Ruk asks me as he sits
up, stretching his arms over his head.

“I’m alright. Where’s Dallah?” I ask hiding my body with the sheets, as I only have on my underwear.

“Julian took her with him to his room, she didn’t want to leave you, but I told her you
would
be safe,” He tells me simply, while he gets off the bed to use the bathroom.

“Has Parrise been found?” I ask then look away from him, but he crawls on the bed, and comes only a few inches from my face.

“Don’t fear for him Zara, He should have fought off Demitri’s power, and before you say he couldn’t, I don’t care. I would never be able to lay a finger on you beautiful, no matter what or who was controlling me,” He tells me passionately.

“You’re different
Ruk, you are my protector, you are the strongest out of us all. Parrise had no choice, he would have rather died than hurt me. I need to find him and tell him that I don’t blame him.”

“He’s gone,” He sighs sadly.

“How? Why? He can’t leave me without even speaking to me, he wouldn’t!” I tell him, soon followed by the realization that Parrise has left me, gone without a word.

“He left you something,” He gets up from the bed and walks over
to the dressing table, picking up a piece of paper and places it beside me on the bed.

“Ruk please don’t tell me he left me a fucking letter, after everything that’s happened, he leaves me a fucking NOTE!” I shout angrily, not at Ruk but out of frustration.

How could Parrise not come to see me himself before leaving me, could he really be so selfish?

             
“He did. I’ll leave you to read it; I’ll be in the shower.” He slides the piece of paper within my reach with a sigh, before he enters the bathroom.

Looking down at the paper, I instantly sigh when I see the first word, then I read aloud, holding back the tears for dear life.

Little one,

I have to leave you, it will be too hard for you to see me, I will not have you look at me the way you do Sallack. You ha
ve what you need with you, the Brother’s, Angus, Theo, and dear Dallah. I will never forgive myself for not having the power to fight Demitri, never forget the look in your eyes, this will haunt me for the rest of my life. I heard your thoughts earlier on in the night, how you were going to be mine when we were home, Zara, that was the most amazing night of my life, knowing that you had chosen me, and we're going to give yourself to me. Do you remember when I told you that I didn’t have a heart before knowing you, and that I filled it completely with you? Well, that was true and will be true until the day I die. I know that you forgive me love, you should not, you should never forgive the monster that I am, that I will always be.

I am sorry
and ashamed for what happened Love; I will be gone for as long as it takes you to stop fearing me, loving me. I have all faith that you will save Dallah from Richard; you are the strongest and most fearless woman I have known in my near thousand years. Keep safe for me Love.

Always yours
, Parrise.

How could he say all that? This is total bullshit, he would not just leave us all here, leave me!

Ruk walks through the bathroom
, fresh from the shower and only in a towel, he heads towards me, but I hold up my hand to stop him.

             
“Ruk please, don’t feel sorry for me, I walked right into this with my eyes open. Parrise has no idea what I feel, and if he were here I would tell him that I do love him and that I would never think of him as a monster. You can tell the others that I will not have a bad word said about him,” I tell him as I move past him to use the shower myself.

Being alone in the shower, with no one to see me, I finally let the tears flow that I have been holding onto, with the hot water washing them away. I will not show anyone what I really feel, which is broken-hearted. I needed to speak with Parrise face to face; I wanted to get my points across. He cowardly sends me a letter rather than face me, after everything we have been through; this is how he leaves things. I hope he is ashamed because he should be.

Wrapping a towel around my body and taking a deep breath, ready to open the door, I hear the echoed voices of Dallah, Ruk, Den and Sallack,

             
“Do you think it will work?” Ruk says.

             
“Yeah, I do, I have to try,” Den tells him.

             
“She will be pissed if she finds out,” Sallack says.

             
“I don’t care, she already hates me,” says Den.

             
“Ok, do it, we can’t let her feel this way again. She has given up, I know she has,” Dallah says.

What the hell are they whispering about? Obviously it is about me, I know that much, but what are they planning on doing?

Slowly pushing the door open, I’m met by four flushed faces, as they didn’t expect me to be finished so quickly.

             
“What are you up to?” I ask suspiciously with a frown in place.

They divert their eyes from me while Den walks up to me, with his head to the side and hand out for me to take. I don’t take his hands; I can’t, not after what he has said and how he has treated me. I won’t let him use what happened with Parrise for him to show me compassion, I do not need his sympathy, I have made it this far without him.

              “What’s going on?” I ask angrily while pushing Den’s large frame to the side to see Dallah, Ruk, and Sallack, who still won’t look me in the eye.

             
“Look at me! What’s going on?” I scream at them in a plea.

             
“Zara look at me please, just look at me?” Den asks in a desperate tone, my eyes suspiciously lock with his, silently asking for answers. He runs his hands through his black locks, as his stunning green eyes burn brightly, making my breath hitch.

My body, mind, and heart
goes numb as I am drawn into his eyes, listening to his words, which seem to have me mesmerized, feeling like I am dreaming.

             
“
Zara you will forget what happened last night, remove it from your mind completely. Parrise has gone away needing to take care of business of his own, you will see him on the day of Dallah’s bonding. He is well and happy. When you do see him, you will look at him like a father figure, you will not want him sexually,
” Den! Dallah hisses, but he carries on, “
Last night, you came back to the room with Dallah, and Ruk. You slept beautifully and are looking forward to the day. Do you understand Zara?
”

             
“Yes.”

             
“
We will all leave you now to get ready to come and have breakfast with us all.
”

             
“Ok.”

Den’s fingers brush over my eyes closing them, soon followed by a door clicking shut.

Walking into the Kitchen with
Ruk, I suddenly feel very self-conscious; everyone has their eyes on me, watching my every move.

             
“What's wrong?” I ask, frowning and look over my shoulder to see if there is an alien behind me, because the look on their faces is worrying to say the least.

Dallah comes to me, taking me by the han
d, over to the table where the Brothers’ and Theo are all sitting.

             
“Nothing’s wrong, how are you feeling?” She asks, with sadness in her voice, which makes me frown more. Then Sallack makes a funny noise at her, making her change her worried expression to a smile.

             
“Ok, enough! I’m not stupid, tell me?”

             
“Sorry Zara, I’m just feeling nervous today as the bonding is getting so close,” She tells me.

             
“It will all work out Dallah, I have a good feeling,” I tell her with a smile and a wink.

             
“I love you Zara,” She tells me openly.

             
“I love you too my little Witch,” I tell her poking her rib with my elbow, which makes her snort out a laugh, as she smiles at me.

Ruk sits beside me and lays his hand on my thigh in a comforting manner.

              “So what’s with all the glum faces?” I ask looking at the Brothers’ in turn.

             
“We’re ok babe. What you up to today?” Mickey asks with a smirk.

             
“Uh, not sure, probably just hang out in Dallah’s room,” I tell him shrugging my shoulders, as I don’t want to give away that I’m keeping a secret, being; memorizing the words of the spell.

Looking up
, I lock eyes with Den, he doesn’t give me a hurtful look like he has been doing every day since coming here, instead he looks at me like he has a mixture of emotions going on inside him.

             
“Alright?” Den asks me with a shy smile.

             
“Yeah,” I reply, feeling a little thrown off, and as I look at him trying to work out what has changed since yesterday, Ruk leans in and whispers in my ear,

             
“We will finish our food and get on the book, yeah?”

I turn my head to him, and as his nose brushes against my cheek, my
heartbeat accelerates and my face heats.

             
“Yep,” is all I can make leave my mouth, as his closeness drives me to distraction. I suddenly feel panic at my reactions to him, seeking Dallah’s attention as I catch her eye.

“Can we have a word?” I ask her quietly.

              “Yeah, let’s go into the gardens, not many people are out there,” She tells me, as we quickly slip out through the back doors, why the guys are focused on their breakfast. When we are in a secluded part of the gardens, I turn to her with a sigh.

             
“I’m crushing on Ruk!” I tell her nervously.

             
“Yeah, I get that, he is insanely hot,” She tells me, looking relieved.

             
“No, I can’t! He’s my protector!” I screech at her.

             
“I think you deserve to choose who you want to be with Zara, it could be 50 years before you find the one. Zara follow your heart, it will lead you to your destiny,” She tells me with a wonderful smile.

             
“Ah, destiny again, you know I don’t like that word. But honestly, do you really thinks it’s a good idea to be thinking of Ruk in this way so soon after Sallack, and when I have ‘The one’ out there somewhere. I thought that Paris could be the one, you know, before we left,” She nods her head, listening closely, “But I can’t see it any more, I don’t think I feel the way I did towards him. How will I explain that to him?” I ask needing her opinion.

             
“I think you deserve anything you wish for out of life, and above all to be happy, and if Ruk can give you that then go for it. You are both adults, you know all there is to know about one another, there are no secrets; just don’t fall in love with him. I think Parrise will understand sweetie, I think deep down he knows that he was not the one for you.”

             
“Yeah, I hope so, because I do love him, I’m just not in love with him. Hey, did something happen last night? I feel like I slept the night away?”

             
“No, it was the normal night sweetie. Come on, the men will worry,” She tells me, whisking me back towards the kitchen.

             
“Ruk!” I scream out, as he suddenly steps out from a large rose bush, scaring the life out of me.

Dallah laughs, while Ruk takes me by the arm to walk with him.

              “I needed to see you were ok,” He explains.

             
“Alright. Um, how long were you standing there?” I ask blushing, hoping he hadn’t heard me tell Dallah that I have the hots for him.

             
“I only just walked around beautiful,” He tells me with a mesmerizing smile, having no idea what those smiles do.

             
“What are you doing today?” I ask Dallah, needing to look elsewhere.

             
“Well Julian and I were going to spend the day together, do you mind?”

             
“Of course not, why would I?” I ask skeptically.