CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Reasons
by Earth, Wind, & Fire
T
he pounding on my door roused me from my stupor. “What the fuck!” I scurried out of bed and ran to the door. Yanking it open, I shouted, “What!”
“You’re not answering your phone,” Bond grunted as he stormed in past me, looking around.
“Oh, sorry. I turned it off last night.”
“You scared the shit out of me, Blue.” He hugged me to him too tightly.
I squirmed to get out of his embrace, and he let me go. “I’m fine. I’m not going to off myself or something. You know me better than that.”
He held his hands up. “Okay. None of us could get through, and we were all worried.”
“I’m truly sorry.” I picked up my phone from the couch and turned it back on.
“Tate called Red.”
“Why?” I asked, seeing all the missed calls and texts.
“I didn’t ask. Can I take you to lunch?”
I thought about it for a second. “I’m not much in the mood for company, and I doubt I could eat anything anyway.”
“Oh ... okay.”
“Please don’t take it personally. Kind of like you, I need to sort out my life and do things differently.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down.
“Thanks for understanding.”
He peered up and said, “Give me a hug and I’ll take off.”
When we embraced, I let myself sink in against him. We held on, rocking together. Once he stepped back, he said, “The Jeep has stuff all over its windows.”
“Are you sure it’s Tate’s?”
“Yeah, the yellow stickies.”
“What do you mean?”
“Come down and see. There must be like five hundred of those suckers on there.”
I quickly changed into shorts and a T-shirt, and we hopped down the two flights of stairs. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Tate’s Jeep windows were covered with Post-It notes, all yellow ones. It must have taken him all night.
“There’s writing on them,” Bond said.
“Yeah, I see that.” I stepped closer and lifted the first one off the passenger side window. It read: Reason #132 – I love the way you look at me. I pulled the next one off the side mirror and read: Reason #145 – I love knowing how your body feels next to mine. Then I peeled one off the windshield. Reason #50 – I love the way you make me feel when I’m with you. “Hey Bond, do you see a number one?”
“I’ll look.”
Bond and I combed the car until he shouted, “I found it.”
“What does it say?”
“Come read it yourself.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Be brave, Blue.”
I walked around to the driver’s side door and saw it hanging in the center of the window. Reason #1 – I love you. “Holy fuck.” My jaw dropped.
Bond glanced down at his phone and seemed to be texting.
I swiped my phone and clicked on my voicemail from Tate.
“I didn’t want to do this over the phone, but I couldn’t be sure you’d ever hear me out. I’ve been the most colossal idiot. I think I started falling in love with you the moment I saw you in the tattoo shop … and then deeper every second I’ve spent with you. It’s not that you’re nobody to me, Blue, you’re everything to me and I didn’t want Jessica to tromp through our relationship. I’m ready to talk and tell you everything. Call me.” Beep.
“Holy hell, Bond.”
“Give him a chance.”
“You of all people?”
“I want your happiness more than anything else I can think of. I love you, Blue.”
I wiped the tears away from my face and hugged Bond as hard as I could. “I love you, too. Forever and always. Wow, can you believe this? I better call him.”
“He’s on his way.”
“How do you know that?”
He held up his phone. “I can text too, ya know.”
“Oh... Thank you.”
Bond strolled away, and my heart broke for him. I wanted him to be happy too. Then I turned back around and yanked down five stickies off the back window of the Jeep.
Reason #238 – I love the way you love me.
Reason #234 – I love how adorable you are.
Reason #233 – I love how you feel in my arms.
Reason #240 – I love how your hand fits in mine.
Reason #237 – I love your eyes.
As I continued to wait, I strolled to the driver’s side door again and peeled off five more.
Reason #3 – I love how you make me smile.
Reason #7 – I love that you trust me with your body.
Reason #5 – I love your touch.
Reason #2 – I love that since the day you came into my life, everything has been better.
Reason #10 – I love how you make me laugh.
I heard Tate’s motorcycle before I saw him. My ridiculous heart pounded erratically in anticipation. I couldn’t allow myself to believe any of it until I saw his face. His face would tell me everything.
He parked his bike behind the Jeep and pulled off his helmet. “I love you, Blue. Please forgive me.” All the stress and tension had completely left his face. He appeared younger, lighter, and far less stern.
“I love you, too.” My arms formed a shield around my body that my heart certainly didn’t feel. “It’s so good to finally hear you say it. I’ll forgive you on one condition.”
“You name it.”
“No more secrets.”
“That’s a deal.”
I stepped into his outstretched arms and when he kissed me, he swept me up in a firestorm of passion and love that I prayed would consume me. I freely gave myself over to him. His kiss was gentle at first, showing me all the love he had held back, whispering to my soul all the regret for his previous actions. Then he escorted me on the journey of lust and all the hedonism he wanted to explore with me. His mouth finally left mine when a drop of rain touched our faces.
“Nooo,” I cried. “Quickly!”
“Ahh, man,” Tate called out as he hurriedly snatched the yellow squares from the Jeep.
We peeled off all the Post-It notes as fast as we could, stacking one on top of the other.
Once he had finished the driver’s side of the car, he said, “I’ll get the windshield.”
I busily worked my way across the windows of the passenger side. “Rain, hold off for another five minutes. Shit. I want them all!”
“I’m almost done here.”
“Come help me with the back of the Jeep.”
It had started to drizzle by the time we collected them all. I shoved mine into my shirt, and we both ran upstairs out of the rain.
I sank into the kitchen chair. “Did you sleep at all last night?” I asked, fishing the stickies out of my top.
“No, you?”
“Very little if at all.” I laid them all on the table in front of me.
“Do you want to nap?” Tate asked.
“No.”
“What are you thinking?” he said, standing behind me and playing with my hair.
I looked over my shoulder. “That we need to get a place with lots of mirrors for all my stickies.”
Tate burst out laughing. “Damn, you’re cute. Come.” He scooped me into his lap. “Do you want to stay here tonight or my place?”
“Yours.”
“Do you have a suitcase?”
I snuggled my face into his neck and breathed in his yummy scent. “Are we still going away?” I asked against his throat.
“Not until we get some sleep. I thought you could move some of your stuff over. All your belongings?” He laughed. “I personally don’t think I’ll survive another night without you.”
I hugged him tightly and said, “I feel the same way but first, you’ve got to tell me another hundred times that you love me, so it sinks in. Of course, I could just read all your Post-Its, which I intend to do anyway. I’d like to go back to your place, but that would mean leaving the Harley here since it’s raining.”
“Why don’t you pack a bag for the week, and we can sort out the rest?” he asked, lifting me off his lap to stand beside him.
“Before any of that, I have to know. When will you tell me about Christina?”
“Now, or at my place, it’s your choice.”
“Really? Any chance you’ll change your mind if I wait until we get to your place?”
He took my hand and kissed my palm. “No way.” He dropped his head. “Look, when Bond drove away from the restaurant, I felt like I was dying. It was worse than when I found about Christina’s affair, because I knew I had lost you, and I didn’t know if I would have another chance to get you back.”
I gently touched his cheek. “It doesn’t look like Bond did you any damage.”
“He’s a lefty,” he said, moving my hand to the other side of his face and enfolding his arm around my waist.
“Does it hurt?”
He smiled up at me. “I deserved it. Did you ask Bond to text me?”
I moved his hair away from his face and traced his eyebrows. “No, he did that on his own.”
“He’s good people.”
“The best.” I kissed his bruised cheek and then pulled him along with me to the bedroom. “Can you grab the larger bag from the top of the closet?”
“Sure.”
I tossed a bunch of clothes on the bed, and Tate put them in the suitcase. Then I mushed my pillow in with the clothes and zipped it up. I gathered my cosmetic and overnight bags and found my wallet.
“Phone charger,” Tate said.
“Right.” I grabbed it from the bedroom and then packed up my laptop, and took one last look around. I put all the Post-It notes in my backpack and turned out the lights as we headed for the door.
“The rain has stopped,” Tate said, helping me carry my stuff to the Jeep. “Why don’t you follow me over?”
“Okay.”
I turned into Tate’s driveway and he had me pull into the garage and park next to his Harley.
“The skies are looking gloomy again,” I said when I hopped out of the car.
“Food?” he asked, shouldering my bags.
“Please. I’m starving. Do you have maple syrup, eggs, and bread?” I shut the door behind us.
“Are you going to cook for me?” he asked, placing my bags by the couch.
“I can cook. I just don’t do it often. I’ll need cinnamon, too,” I said as we walked into the kitchen.
“I’ll man the coffee and bacon. Shouldn’t you be making me work harder to get you back?”
I turned to face him and placed my hands on my hips. “Did you mean it when you said you love me and want us to live together?”
“I want us to make a life together.”
“The only thing standing in the way is the truth. Let’s cook and you can tell me all about it. I have no need to make you suffer. I love you, Tate, fully and completely.”
He stared at me with his dark eyes, without any guile. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. For the first time, ever, I’m pretty happy that Christina did what she did. I would’ve never known my perfect other half was out there if she hadn’t screwed up.”
I threw myself at him and he laughed, hugging me back.
“Food first.” He stepped back, wagging his finger in my direction, and opened the refrigerator.
The afternoon light was fading away but not the new light of our relationship. We sat at the table on the deck and watched the winds leaving the coast for the open ocean.
I nibbled a piece of bacon and asked, “Did Christina know you were into kinky shit?”
“She said that’s what you do with your whore … not your wife.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. Do you want to stay out here and talk or—”
I stood and stepped over to him. “I’d like to be closer to you when you tell me.”
“Let’s get in bed.”
We carried our plates inside and left them on the dining table.
I took off my clothes and Tate did the same. We climbed under the covers and faced each other.
Tate started slowly. “I met Christina when I was a freshman in high school. Cal had a thing for her, too, but she chose me. We officially started dating our sophomore year. After graduation, we went to separate colleges and we agreed to date other people.”
“You were each other’s first, right?”
“Yes, well, that’s what I thought, but I’m not sure anymore.”
I placed my hand on his chest and said, “Sorry, go on.”
“After college, we decided to marry. We didn’t share with each other much about the time we were apart.”
“Did Cal go to the same college as Christina?”
“No, but he apparently visited her quite often.”
“So when you married, you had no idea they had a past?”
His hand covered mine. “No idea, and he was my best man. Only, I think now that their relationship never ended.”
I shook my head. “I don’t get it. Why didn’t she marry him?”
“I don’t know. She’s married to him now.”
“Holy fuck. How did you find out they were cheating?”