Blue Skies (23 page)

“You okay?” Hank asked.

“I’m fine,” she said brightly.

“Now that it’s dark, it shouldn’t be long before the show starts.”

His voice rumbled in his chest, treating her shoulder blades to tingling little shocks of sensation. Under the blanket, he tightened his arm around her. Then, using his free hand, he trailed his fingertips over her arm, seeking out sensitive spots she hadn’t realized she had. When he reached the bend of her elbow and began circling lightly over the sensitive skin there, she shivered and nearly moaned in delight. Dangerous thoughts slipped into her mind—thoughts of his hands touching her like that everywhere.

She was about to ask him to stop when she heard a distant boom, like the discharge of a cannon. Hank’s breath stirred her hair as he said, “Ah-hah. Here it comes, sweetheart. Feast your eyes on your first fireworks display.”

The sky lit up with colorful bursts of light, the patriotic spray of red, white, and blue so brilliant that Carly forgot all about the way he’d been touching her. “Oh, my goodness! Our flag! Oh, how
beautiful
! What a perfect way to begin. Sometimes I forget the Fourth is Independence Day. We should all be thinking of the sacrifices that made our freedom possible.” Another burst of patriotic color lit the sky. “Oh,
Hank
! Just
look
at that.”

“You like it, do you?” Against her hair, she felt his lips curve in a smile. “It is beautiful. Isn’t it? I’m always amazed at what they can do.”

“Another flag. I can’t believe it,” she whispered as the design began to disintegrate.

He drew her more snugly against him, his hand shifting slightly on her ribs but not actually moving. Carly relaxed, her gaze fixed on the sky until the last bursts of light faded away.

A booming sound came again. “Here comes another one.”

Carly rested her head in the hollow of his shoulder. When the third display filled the sky, she marveled at the colors and brilliance that streamed through the darkness. It wasn’t just her first fireworks display, she decided, but the very first time she’d ever really experienced the Fourth of July in the same way other people did.

“I’m going to remember this night for the rest of my life,” she told Hank softly.

“Me too,” he whispered. “Me too.”

Over the holiday weekend, Hank began to fear that Carly’s sight was growing worse at a faster rate than she was willing to admit. On Saturday at lunch, she reached for her glass and knocked it over. Later that day, he caught her peering at things as though trying to make them out. On Sunday evening as he passed the open doorway of her bedroom, he saw her holding her hand at arm’s length, staring at her splayed fingers. He couldn’t imagine how horrible it must be for her, knowing that darkness might soon return.

Troubled by the thought, Hank got on the computer up at the main house the next morning to surf the Net, then visited the Crystal Falls library that afternoon. After doing some research on lattice dystrophy and the sighted blind, he was better able to understand Carly’s disease, the surgical procedures that would hopefully restore her sight, and the problems she was having with her visual cortex.

The fact he discovered that most amazed him was that lattice dystrophy could be extremely painful, making the eyes hurt nearly all the time, especially when exposed to bright light. Bess had told him about that, and he’d tried at first to be considerate, but with Carly never mentioning the eye pain, he’d forgotten over time. Hank remembered how raptly she’d watched the fireworks at the lake, barely taking her eyes from the sky for fear she’d miss something. He suspected that the bright bursts of light had caused her pain, but she hadn’t let on or closed her eyes to spare herself discomfort.
I’ll never forget this night,
she’d whispered.

No guarantees
. That was another fact Hank verified as he researched her disease. The second surgery might restore her sight, but then again, it might not. Dozens of different things could go wrong, and it was entirely possible that Carly might never see another fireworks display. That was why she’d endured the bright flares of light and stared unblinkingly at the sky. Each day of sight truly was a precious gift.

Hank intended to take her to the Portland Zoo on Tuesday, the fifteenth, but that was a week away. In the meantime, he didn’t want her to be cooped up in the cabin with her nose stuck in a book. She needed to be going places, seeing things, and making memories, not wasting this precious time trying to train a visual cortex she had no guarantee she’d ever be able to use.

Hank cornered Jake in the stable on Tuesday morning. “I need to take some time off,” he told his brother.

Jake left off working with a colt. After closing the stall door, he said, “It’s our busiest time of year, Hank. I don’t need to tell you that.”

Hank swept off his hat and slapped it against his leg. “I know it’s a hell of a time to leave you in the lurch, but I don’t have a choice. I’ll do as much as I can around here, Jake, but for the most part, I need to be freed up.”

As briefly as possible, Hank explained his reasons. “Except for Portland and a tour of the Crater Lake area, we’ll do mostly day trips. I’d like her to see as much as she possibly can before the lights go out. You know? Even a few day hikes would be better than nothing. She’s probably never clapped eyes on a waterfall or watched the sun go down over the Cascades. I want her to have those memories.”

His expression solemn, Jake finally nodded. “I’ll cover for you.”

“I appreciate it. I know I’m putting you in a hell of a spot. But it’s something I’ve got to do. By this time next week, she could be blind. I have no way of knowing.”

“Go. I’ll call Dad and ask him to help out. He’ll enjoy working with the horses. We’ll handle it.”

Hank retreated a step. “Thanks, big brother. I owe you one.”

Carly was getting a drink of water when she heard the front door open. By now, she recognized the distinctive rhythm of Hank’s stride as he crossed the living room.

“Carly?” he called. “Where are you, honey?”

“Right here.” She stepped out from the kitchen. “Is something wrong?”

He flashed that slow, lazy grin that never failed to make her insides tingle. “No, Mrs. Coulter, everything’s absolutely right.” He gestured at her sandals. “Get your sneakers on. We’re going for a drive.”

“Where to?”

“I don’t know yet. Someplace special.”

The mischievous expression on his face made her smile. “You don’t know, but it’s someplace special? How does that make sense?”

“Doesn’t have to make sense. I’m taking some time off so we can go see some sights.”

Carly understood then, and knowing what he had in mind made her heart pang. “You can’t take off work. We have so many expenses coming.”

“How many times do I have to tell you I’ll worry about the finances? Go get your shoes on. Grab a sweater, too, just in case we get back late. I don’t want you taking a chill.”

Carly hurried into the bedroom, excited to be going somewhere. They were going to see some sights!
Yes
. She doubted there were that many things to see around Crystal Falls, but just visiting a few places would be fun.

That afternoon, Hank took her to the high desert. After he parked the truck on an old dirt road, Carly stared across the barren expanse of flatland, wondering why he had stopped. All she saw were clumps of sage and dirt.

“Isn’t that beautiful?” he asked softly.

Carly realized he was staring off at the horizon. She followed his gaze and saw nothing but an indistinct red blur.
Oh, God
. He’d taken off from work, driven for miles, and wasted gasoline, all so she could see something pretty, and now she couldn’t.

Carly almost told him. Only she couldn’t bring herself to do it. This was his gift to her. It didn’t matter if she could enjoy it. What counted was the thought behind it.

“Oh yes,” she said. “That’s
gorgeous,
Hank.”

“The country’s not much, but the rock formations out here are fantastic.”

“They sure are.”

“That one’s called Old Man.”

“Ah. I can see why,” she said.

She felt him studying her. “Can you see clearly enough to make out his face and—stuff?”

“Hmm.” She forced a smile and nodded. “Yes, I do see his face.”

Watching her, Hank knew she was lying, not because she failed to pull it off with aplomb, but because she wasn’t blushing to the roots of her hair. Old Man, the formation before them, truly did look like an old man lying on his back. One could see the clear outline of his facial profile at one end, his toes poking up at the other, and midway in between, a certain part of his anatomy was prominently displayed.

Just to be certain he wasn’t misreading the situation, he said, “Mother Nature is really something. You’d swear it was a man standing there. I can even see his belt buckle.”

When she nodded and beamed another smile, Hank’s heart sank. “You’re right!” she exclaimed. “I do see his belt buckle.”

“Carly?”

“Hmm?”

She turned those beautiful blue eyes on him. Looking into them, Hank could scarcely believe that they were diseased. They were as clear as deep pools of blue water.

“You can’t see the rock at all, can you?” he asked.

A stricken expression crossed her face. She caught her lower lip in her teeth and slowly shook her head, her eyes going bright with tears. “I’m sorry. You drove all this way and took off work. I’m so sorry.”

She
was sorry? She was the one going blind, damn it, not him.
Why?
It just wasn’t fair. He doubted she’d ever done a wrong thing to anyone in her life.

“We need to talk,” he said firmly. “You haven’t been leveling with me about your eyes. If your sight has gotten that bad, why haven’t you said something?”

She stared blankly out the windshield, her face taut and pale. Hank wondered how far into the distance she could see.

“I’ve been—I don’t know—kidding myself, I guess.” She placed her hands on her thighs and bunched them into tight fists. “Hoping it might stop, telling myself it wasn’t that bad yet. As for why I didn’t say anything—” She broke off and swallowed convulsively. “When you say things out loud, they seem more real, not just secret fears anymore. I didn’t want it to be true, so I just kept quiet, hoping it might get better.”

Hank ached to gather her into his arms.

She bent her head, brushed at her jeans, and then plucked at the denim as though removing specks of lint. “And I feel so guilty.”

“Guilty? For what?”

She went back to staring out the window. “I knew from the start that I might go blind during my pregnancy, but I never dreamed it’d happen this fast. In a few months, maybe, and I hoped I wouldn’t go totally blind, even then. Some pregnant women get lucky, and I so wanted to be one of them.”

Hank could completely understand her having that hope. Who wouldn’t? But he still wasn’t clear on why that made her feel guilty.

“It doesn’t appear that I will be,” she said. “All indications are that I may go blind very quickly. Saddling you with a blind wife for a few months was one thing, but now it looks as if you’ll be saddled with one for a year or longer. I told you once how difficult it would be, that blind people have all kinds of special needs. You said everything would be okay. But I don’t think you comprehend what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“You feel guilty because you’re afraid you’ll be a burden on me?” he asked incredulously.

She nodded. “If I’d known it would happen this fast, I never would have—”

“Hold it.” Hank reached out to grasp her chin and make her look at him. “Don’t even go there, sweetheart. I went into this with my eyes wide open.”

“How could you possibly? You had no idea it would happen this fast, and you’ve got no clue what you’re in for.” She twisted her face from his grasp. “The kitchen cupboards, for instance. Right now, they’re arranged any old which way, and you can put things back wherever there’s space. When I go blind, nothing can be out of place.
Nothing
. And that’s just for starters. You throw your clothes on the floor. You kick off your boots and leave them lay. You pull chairs out and don’t put them back. When my sight goes, I won’t be able to live like that.”

Hank had never considered just how much he would have to change in order to make this arrangement work. “You won’t have to live like that,” he assured her. “I’ll become a neat freak.”

She laughed shakily, which told him she was perilously close to tears. “You, a neat freak?”

“I’m not that old a dog. I can still learn a few new tricks. It’ll be a simple matter of organizing everything so you can find it and changing my habits.”

“I never meant to make you live that way for months on end.”

“What was the alternative? As I recall, I didn’t offer you a choice.”

“I should have stood firm and refused to marry you. You never would have taken my baby away from me, Hank. Now that I’ve gotten to know you better, I feel silly for ever having believed you might.”

Hank smiled sadly. “So you’ve got my number now, do you?”

“Yep, just like those silly chickens that won’t go into cardiac arrest when you chase them. You’re a big love, just like Sugar and Sonora Sunset. And knowing you are makes me feel even worse. It’s one thing to make a not-very-nice person miserable. It’s quite another when he turns out to be one of the most wonderful people you’ve ever known.”

That she’d come to think so highly of him meant more to Hank than he could say. “Thank you for that,” he said huskily. “That’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.”

“I’m just so sorry for doing this to you,” she whispered.

“Shit happens. I’d give anything for you to be able to see all through this pregnancy, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.”

“No,” she agreed, the word trembling from her lips on a weary sigh.

“That being the case, let’s get a few things straight. No matter how difficult it may be to live with a blind person”—he smiled and winked to soften those words—“I won’t think of it as a burden. I knew from the start that you might lose your sight very quickly. I pray to God you aren’t blind for a year, but if you are, we’ll deal with it.”