Blue Sky Days (21 page)

I took the pictures and arranged them on the nightstands, two on each side. I had also brought a few of his favourite novels, a couple of crossword books, and a small snow globe with two embracing angels inside that had belonged to Nicholas’s mother and that he kept by his bed at home.

“Emma.” His voice was soft and full of so much love it made my heart ache. “Thank you.” He turned to me and pulled me into his arms, and we stood there embracing until we heard a scraping sound behind us.

“Sorry,” Sam said, looking sheepish. He was sitting in one of the chairs by the window, his eyes tired and his face pale. “Meant to just sit down but ended up collapsing in the chair instead.”

“Dad, why don’t you go home? You look exhausted, you need to get some rest,” Nicholas said, his eyes full of concern.

Sam shook his head. “No, no, I’m fine,” he said. He stifled a yawn with the back of his hand and smiled ruefully. “Well…”

“Go home and sleep,” I insisted. “I’m going to be here the rest of the day, and I’ll call you later, I promise.”

It took a bit more coaxing, but Nicholas and I finally convinced Sam to go home. We made him swear to drive carefully since he was so tired, and then we all exchanged more hugs and kisses before he left.

A nurse came into the room a few minutes later; she told Nicholas to change into his comfortable lounging clothes and get into bed so she could set him up with an intravenous for fluids. Roy had informed us the week before that long-term patients weren’t expected to wear hospital gowns except during occasional medical tests, so Nicholas and I had gone shopping for new pajamas, sweatshirts, and sweatpants for him to wear around the hospital.

The nurse led me out, and a minute later Roy came back down the hall and stepped into Nicholas’s room. When he returned, he stopped in the hallway and put his hand on my shoulder. “You doing okay?”

“Me?” I asked, surprised. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Good. Listen, I know how much it’s going to mean to Nicholas to have you here with him,” Roy said in a hushed voice. “Now, the rules on this floor are pretty strict because of recent viruses being brought in by visitors. I’ve already warned the doctors and nurses that there are to be special allowances made for you.

“In exchange for these special allowances,” he continued, his gaze unwavering, “I’m going to have to check you out regularly to make sure you’re healthy and not carrying any hidden bugs or viruses in your system. We wouldn’t want to jeopardize Nicholas’s recovery or anybody else’s for that matter.”

 
“Right, of course,” I said, nodding and trying to take in everything Roy was telling me. “How is that going to work?”

“For starters, I’d suggest taking some vitamins if you’re not already, just to keep your immune system strong. I can recommend some for you.” He took his prescription pad out of his shirt pocket and scribbled a note on it. “They’re not prescription, but the drugstore downstairs will have these. As for the check-ups, they’re routine and won’t take more than a few minutes. If I’m around I’ll do them myself, and if not, one of the nurses will check you out.”

I nodded again, my mind whirling.

“You have clearance to be with Nicholas night and day if you want,” Roy continued, looking at me sympathetically as if he understood this was all very overwhelming, but that I needed to be informed. “I don’t suggest that at first, but as time goes on and Nicholas gets restless from being cooped up in the hospital, you might think about spending a few nights with him. The weekends away from here will break the time up nicely, but if his condition worsens, we’ll have to keep him here even on the weekends. We’re hoping, of course, that it won’t come to that, but it’s a possibility you both need to be aware of.”

I let out a long breath. “Does Nicholas know all this?”

“Yes, we just discussed it. He seems to be dealing really well.”

“He’s amazing,” I said, feeling my face split into a proud smile. I looked through the window in the door at Nicholas, who gave me a cheeky little grin followed by a finger wave, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the brief return of the old Nicholas.

Knowing that I could be here as much and as often as I wanted was a huge relief, and I could feel my tense muscles relaxing ever so slightly. Not knowing what to say but wanting to express my gratitude for Roy’s support and kindness, I hugged him quickly and whispered, “Thank you.”

CHAPTER 14

Nicholas’s first chemotherapy treatment was scheduled for late the next morning. After spending all day Monday with him, Nicholas insisted I go home for dinner and to spend some time with Daisy. I really didn’t want to leave, but knew I would have to eventually, so I left, promising to be back early the next morning.

The treatments took place in a room at the opposite end of the sixth floor from Nicholas’s room. I went with him and sat in an armchair beside Nicholas’s recliner, holding his hand while the nurse inserted the intravenous needle into his other arm. I didn’t want to watch, but I couldn’t seem to help myself; the nurse, Natalie, a sweet young woman in her late twenties, smiled reassuringly at me as she taped the IV tube in place.

“The treatment will run for a little over an hour,” Natalie explained. “I’ll check back frequently, but if you need me in the meantime the call bell is right beside your chair. If you need anything at all, just ring.”

We thanked her, and she went to check on the other patient taking treatments in the room, an older woman whose head was covered with a multi-coloured scarf. The woman caught me looking at her and smiled, giving me a little wave before looking back at Natalie.

Nicholas held my hand the entire hour and we talked about what we wanted to do that weekend. We knew we couldn’t do much because Nicholas wasn’t supposed to be exposed to many people, but it was nice to know he would be able to go home, even for just two days.

When we returned to Nicholas’s room, he said he felt like taking a nap. I used a phone at the nurse’s station to call home and fill Daisy in on Nicholas’s first dose of chemo, then returned to the room and pulled one of the chairs close to his bed. The natural light in the room was bright enough to read by, so I picked up one of the books I brought the day before, but didn’t get much further than the first page.

With the book open in my lap, I sat and watched Nicholas sleep. He looked so relaxed and peaceful, his lips parted slightly, and a lock of hair falling over his forehead. I wanted to brush his hair back, touch the silky soft waves, but I was afraid of waking him. I don’t know how long I sat just watching him, but at some point my eyelids grew heavy and fell shut. When I awoke Nicholas was still asleep, and the room was bathed in a beautiful, almost eerie red light from the setting sun.

I stood and walked to the window, stretching as I looked out over the back of the hospital. There were tree-lined paths with benches scattered around, and a large pond in the distance where a group of Canadian geese congregated, likely readying themselves to fly south for the winter.

At the sound of the sheets rustling quietly behind me, I turned and saw that Nicholas was waking up. “Hey,” he said, his voice thick with sleep. “How long was I out?”

I glanced at the clock by the door as I crossed the room to stand beside the bed. “About four hours, I guess,” I said, taking his hand and bending to kiss his cheek.

“Four hours?” Nicholas exclaimed. “You must have been bored silly.”

I chuckled at his reaction. “I wasn’t,” I assured him. “I actually fell asleep for a bit, too.”

“You should have climbed into bed with me,” Nicholas said, tugging my hand.

“I didn’t want to wake you. You need your rest.”

He waved a hand dismissively, his eyes dancing. “Well, it’s not too late.” He pulled me down onto the bed and I swung my legs up so I was lying facing him. “That’s better.” He sighed and pulled me closer, nuzzling my neck. His eyes were still heavy, and I was expecting him to drift off again when I heard a noise at the door and peered over his shoulder to see Natalie and another nurse standing in the doorway.

They must have thought we were asleep because I could hear them whispering to each other. “They’re so young to be going through this,” the second nurse said to Natalie.

“I know.” Natalie shook her head. Twilight was falling quickly, so I couldn’t see her face in the semi-darkness, but I heard her sigh. “Aren’t they sweet though? What I wouldn’t give for a love like that.”

I looked at Nicholas and saw that he was watching me, a slow smile spreading over his face and lighting his eyes. He touched his nose to mine before kissing me gently on the lips. “How do you feel about being young and sweet?” he whispered.

I laughed under my breath. “Pretty good. You?”

He nodded. “I’ve been called worse,” he said solemnly.

I burst out laughing, startling the nurses in the doorway.

“Okay, you two lovebirds,” Natalie said, turning the light on and coming into the room. “Dinner’s going to be here in a few minutes and I wanted to see how you’re feeling.”

Nicholas looked at me as he answered. “Doing good,” he said.

I wondered how long that would be the answer. For now, all I knew was that we had survived day one of chemo.

*****

The next morning before leaving for Maltonville, I stopped at Riverview’s independent bookstore and bought the entire set of Harry Potter books for Nicholas. He had told me repeatedly that they were some of the best books he’d ever read, so I was surprised when I checked his shelves at home and discovered he didn’t own them. I had never read them, but I planned to read them out loud to Nicholas to pass the time.

He was thrilled to receive them, and I was rewarded with big smiles and a face full of kisses. When it was time for chemo, I started to read the first book while Nicholas reclined in his seat and listened to me, interjecting once in a while to tell me about his favourite parts. I would occasionally glance up from the pages to see him watching me with a look of complete adoration, and would have to fight around the lump in my throat to continue.

When Natalie came in and saw what we were reading, she told us she would bring the Harry Potter movies for us and we could watch them in the lounge down the hall from Nicholas’s room. So, that’s how we spent the next two days: chemotherapy late in the morning, lunch and a nap for Nicholas in the early afternoon, then the rest of the day reading and watching movies.

I returned home every night after eating dinner with Nicholas, and on Friday when I arrived Doctor Roy gave me a quick check-up and said I was doing fine. He was also pleased with Nicholas’s progress and pleasantly surprised with how well he was adjusting to the chemotherapy. So far, the only side effect he had experienced was fatigue.

On Saturday morning Roy was back at the hospital to check on Nicholas again before signing him out for the weekend. He made Nicholas promise to relax and avoid situations where he would be exposed to groups of people, or ‘germ carriers’ as Roy called them.

“You call me if you need
anything
. I’ll be in Riverview all weekend, so I’ll be no more than a five-minute drive away. Be back here at the hospital Monday morning by 10 a.m. And I have to warn you, if it looks like you’ve overdone it I won’t be able to let you out of the hospital next weekend.”

Roy said all this with a stern face, but I knew he was pleased that Nicholas felt well enough to be released for the weekend.

“Yes, sir,” Nicholas said, giving Roy a cheeky salute before sitting in the wheelchair one of the nurses rolled around. We had been warned that wheelchairs were hospital policy for any patient leaving, and Nicholas, with his usual good humour, had shrugged it off as if it was no big deal.

Roy shook his head and finally gave a small smile as he rolled Nicholas toward the elevator. He waited with him at the front of the hospital while I drove the car around, then opened the passenger door for him and made sure he got in without incident. Nicholas rolled his window down, and we listened to a similar speech as the one upstairs about taking it easy over the next two days.

From the minute I drove the car out of the hospital parking lot, Nicholas and I were like giddy children who had just been released from school on summer holidays. Summer was long gone though, and the short, crisp days of autumn had settled in. Nicholas kept the window open a crack so he could breathe in the fresh air that smelled of leaves and wood smoke.

When we arrived at Daisy’s, she and Sam must have been watching for us, because the car had barely stopped moving before they were out the door, helping Nicholas from the car and taking his bags. They ushered us into the house, welcoming Nicholas as if he’d been gone for months instead of just a week. By the way Nicholas pressed his lips together to hide a smile, I could tell he was enjoying all the attention.

When we stepped inside he made a production of looking around, and said, “What, no welcome home banner?”

Daisy and Sam laughed. “Well, we thought about it, but decided it would be a bit much,” Sam said, patting Nicholas on the back. I noticed that he and Daisy had been touching Nicholas in some form since the minute they opened the car door—a hand on his shoulder, an arm slung around him, a pat on the back. Sometimes I wondered how I’d managed to live my entire life without being surrounded by all this love and affection.

The four of us spent the rest of the morning sitting around the living room talking and laughing. It felt like any other normal Saturday except for the times I noticed Nicholas stifling a yawn or struggling to keep his eyes open. Daisy had made homemade carrot and sweet potato soup early that morning, and it was simmering away on the stove, waiting for us at lunchtime along with a loaf of homemade bread. We ate in the kitchen where it was warm and smelled like home cooking, and afterward, Nicholas went up to my room to take a nap.

“He seems to be doing good,” Sam said, as he, Daisy, and I settled once again in the living room with steaming cups of coffee. “Right? That’s not just wishful thinking?”