Blue Velvet (21 page)

“But Jeffrey and Julio always—”

“All men aren’t Jeffrey and Julio.” Daniel was definitely annoyed. “I’d match my emotional sensitivity against yours any day. Beau
loves
you, damn it.”

She shook her head. “He never said he loved
me. He promised me everything else, but not that.”

“Are declarations so important? Maybe Beau has trouble saying those words. How do I know?” He shrugged. “All I know is what I saw in his face that night he thought the Guardia had killed you. And it sure as hell wasn’t pity, Kate.”

“It wasn’t?” Oh, God, he was probably mistaken. It was too wonderful to be true. But what if he wasn’t? What if Beau actually loved her? “You’re sure, Daniel?”

She sounded like an uncertain little girl and the hardness softened and then faded entirely from Daniel’s face. His large hand covered hers. “I’m sure,” he said gently. “I don’t see how you could be so blind you couldn’t see it for yourself. How many men would get themselves embroiled in the kind of brouhahas you’ve been inciting all over the Caribbean for someone they just felt sorry for?” He grinned. “It should have been a dead giveaway when he jumped into the sea and paddled after you like your faithful dog Tray.”

“He loves me?” she whispered, her eyes aglow with wonder.

“He loves you,” Daniel repeated firmly. “Perhaps
it’s not surprising the two of you are having trouble communicating. You were both cannoned into a relationship as if you were shot from a howitzer. You haven’t had a chance to learn each other.”

No, only to love each other. But if Daniel was right, they would have all the time in the world now for that other learning process.
If
he was right. She frowned anxiously. “It doesn’t make sense. Why would he want to send me away if he loves me?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” Daniel asked. “And when you do, remember you’re dealing from strength. You impress me as a lady who’s more than capable of getting things done once you set your mind on something. Do you want this marriage to work?”

“Yes. Oh yes,” she said softly.

“Then I suggest you set about assuring that it will.” He winked. “Just pretend that Beau is a cocaine cache to be snatched or an imprisoned crew to be rescued. That should make it a piece of cake.”

Her hand tightened on his. “I’ll do that.” She would just take a deep breath and do what had
to be done in this most important venture of her life. “Will you be there to give me a little moral support?”

He shook his head. “You don’t need me. I’d just be in the way.” He looked down at the gold ring on his finger. “Besides, I have a few loose ends to wind up before I go back to Sedikhan.”

“You’re definitely returning to your very dangerous Mr. Donahue then?” she asked lightly.

“Why not? I have an idea Beau is going to turn into a very boring solid citizen. That will take all the fun out of being captain of the
Searcher
.” His smile was a little whimsical. “Remember I told you we were both searching for something? I’ve found what I was looking for.”

“Everything you were searching for?” she probed gently.

For an instant there was a flicker of something lost and vulnerable in the depths of those snapping navy blue eyes. “Perhaps not everything, but for now it will have to be enough.” Then that vulnerability was gone and he grinned. “Well, at least Beau has found it all. Now all you have to do is get him to admit it.”

It sounded so easy. She moistened her lips
nervously as she thought just how important that confrontation to come was going to be. Oh, please, let Daniel be right. Please let her be able to make Beau say the words of commitment that would keep them together for the rest of their lives. No, she mustn’t let herself have any doubts. She lifted her chin valiantly. “No problem. As you said, it will be a piece of cake.”

The sun was going down in an explosion of glorious color, appearing to drain the sea of its own richness in contrast. On this deserted sand dune where she was standing Kate could feel the breeze, warm and soft touching her cheeks. That was also a contrast for there was nothing soft and warm in the violent beauty of the sunset. It bathed the white sand dunes in a fiery glow, and even the towering modernistic hotel in the distance appeared as a blazing sword against the horizon.

Sword. That brought back the memory of the intricately carved sword piercing the rose in Daniel’s exotic ring. Magic. She must believe with all her heart in that magic now.

“What the devil are you doing this far from the hotel?” Beau’s rough voice behind her made her heart leap. “A lone woman on a deserted beach is an open invitation.”

She turned to face him. The fiery glare turned his bronze face to teak and lent the texture of his black jeans and shirt an illusion of velvetlike depth. “I see you got the note I left at the bungalow. That’s exactly what I wanted to convey,” she said lightly. “An invitation.”

“That’s fairly obvious.” The roughness of his voice deepened to huskiness as his gaze wandered over her lingeringly. Lord, she was beautiful. The loose white silky beach dress she was wearing reminded him vaguely of the caftan she’d worn that night in the rain forest except for the low cut of the square neckline. Her throat looked graceful and infinitely vulnerable as it rose from the gown and her face was lit with a glowing eagerness that caused his throat to tighten helplessly. So sweet. He glanced away hurriedly. “You’ve been shopping.”

“I’ve spent a great deal of your money.” She stepped deliberately closer and into his line of vision. “And I have no intention of paying it back.
Daniel says it’s all community property.” She smiled. “Did you know community means companionship and mutual sharing? I looked it up when I got to the hotel. I like that idea very much.”

There was a flicker of surprise in Beau’s eyes. “I don’t want you to pay it back,” he said gruffly. “I told you on the ship you have a claim on me now. I’m glad you’re being so sensible. Does this mean you’re not going to put up a fight about going to Briarcliff?”

“I have no intention of objecting to going anywhere you want me to go.” She paused deliberately. “I told you how much I loved words. There are some very beautiful ones in the Bible that express how I feel about that. ‘Entreat me not to leave you and to return from following after you, for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God; where you die, I will die and there will I be buried.’ ”

She met his eyes with a simple directness that caused his heart to turn over in his breast. “I mean every word, Beau. I’ll go anywhere, be anything you want me to be as long as we do it
together.” She smiled faintly as she repeated softly. “Always together. Go with me to Briarcliff and stay by my side and you’ll have no trouble keeping me there.”

“Kate …” He took an impulsive step toward her with an instinct as old as the words she’d just quoted. Then he stepped back and his arms fell helplessly to his sides without touching her. “I told you I’d be there to keep an eye on you.”

“So avuncular?” She shook her head. “That’s not good enough, Beau. I want a husband, not a guardian.”

“You don’t know what you want,” he said, his expression strained and taut. “Your head’s full of dreams of Romeo and Juliet and the world well lost for love. And I sure as hell didn’t make it any easier by taking you to bed and giving you your first taste of sex. There are things you deserve, things you
need
and it’s not fair to let you think I’m the only one who can give them to you. I hope when you’ve gained a little experience you’ll still want me but …” He trailed off, running his hand distractedly through his bronze hair. “Lord, I hope that, Kate!”

“I will,” she said softly. “There’s not going to
be a moment for the rest of my life when I won’t want you.” Then as he opened his lips to speak, she held up her hand. “Don’t say it. I
do
know, blast it. I don’t deny I have certain ideals and dreams. Everyone has dreams. That doesn’t mean I’m some kind of Peter Pan existing in Never Never Land. I’ve lived a rough, hard life, Beau. If I don’t know the difference between reality and fantasy now, I never will.”

“It’s because you’ve had such a hard life that I shouldn’t take advantage of you.” Beau’s lips were set in a stubborn line. “We’ll do it my way, Kate.”

“I don’t think so.” There was a hint of steel beneath the sweetness in her voice. “This is too important for me to give in to your idiotic sense of chivalry.”

“Chivalry!”

He sounded so outraged that she had to smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you but I’m afraid you’re terribly prone to that hopelessly outmoded code. The signs are unmistakable to someone who’s spent most of her childhood with a man who steered his life by dreams and concepts from another age. You’re the one who
lives in Never Never Land. When I asked Daniel why you were sending me away, he said to ask you.” She shook her head. “But I don’t have to do that. I’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking and I realized I may not know a good deal about your mental processes, but I do know that you’re far worse than any Lancelot or Galahad.” She wrinkled her nose impishly at him. “You’re even worse than Ashley Wilkes.”

“Now that’s an arrant falsehood,” Beau said. There was a flicker of amusement in the depths of his eyes. “I won’t let you malign me in that fashion, Kate.”

“I’ll take back Wilkes,” she granted. “But the rest is carved in stone. You’re a throwback, Beau. Jeffrey was avant-garde in comparison. Well, you can just practice throwing your cloak on someone else’s mud puddles. I can take care of myself.”

Beau’s golden eyes were suddenly glowing with mischief. “Then can I talk you into tossing your cloak on my puddle? I’ve developed a violent aversion to bodies of water of any description lately.”

“Any time.” She smiled with loving sweetness.
Her cloak, her body, her heart. “Just say the word.”

“I wish you wouldn’t look at me like that,” he said with a rueful shake of his head. “It makes me feel very strange.”

“Good,” she said. “I want you to feel strange and off balance. It makes my position that much stronger. Not that I need it. Daniel says I’m dealing from strength.”

“Daniel seems to have had quite a bit to say. I’m curious to know what he considered your ace in the hole.”

She took a deep breath. “The fact that you love me,” she said in a little rush.

There was a flicker of undefinable emotion in Beau’s face. “Do I?”

She nodded. “Yes, Daniel says you do. And I’ve decided he’s right. You
do
love me, Beau.” Her lips were trembling as she tried to smile. “Do you know why I’m so sure?”

“No.” His eyes were fixed compulsively on her face.

“Because there’s no way I could love you this much and not be loved even a little bit in return,” she said haltingly. “I feel so close to you I
think I’d know it if you were rejecting me either consciously or subconsciously.” She made a helpless little gesture with one hand. “I’d
know
, Beau.”

“You’ve known me for only a few days,” Beau said hoarsely. “I was your first lover. You can’t be sure you love me. Six months from now there may be someone else.”

“My first lover, my last lover, my only lover.” Her eyes were glowing softly. “Sometimes it must happen like that. First the loving and then the learning. Perhaps it’s better that way. Just think of everything we have to look forward to experiencing together.” She took a step closer and her hands reached up to cradle his cheeks in her palms. “Say it, Beau.”

“No, it’s not fair.” His face was harsh with strain. “I won’t use that kind of bribery on you, Kate.”

“Bribery?” she repeated, startled.

“Love can be used as bribery.” His lips twisted bitterly. “Believe me, I know. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had sundry uncles, aunts, and cousins dangle that carrot in front of my nose. ‘We
love
you, Beau. Tell the nice judge you want
to stay with us,’ or, ‘We
love
you but we
do
need all that lovely money so we can be comfortable, don’t we?’ Some people seem to think that saying those words gives them the right to demand almost anything in return.” He shrugged wearily. “Hell, sometimes it nearly worked. I wanted to belong somewhere so badly that I came pretty close to believing one or two of them.” His eyes were grave. “I won’t use those tactics on you, Kate. You don’t owe me anything.”

She felt a rush of joy. He did love her! Now only the last shadows of the past were left to be cleared away and to do that she had to make him say the words. “You’re not Uncle George, Beau, and I’m certainly not a little boy desperately wanting a family. I’m a woman who loves you.” She frowned. “Or maybe you think I’m trying to use that same kind of pressure on you.”

“No, of course not,” he denied quickly. “I know you wouldn’t ever—” He broke off as he met her quiet smile of satisfaction. “It’s not the same thing.”

“Isn’t it? I think it is. Something very wonderful and special has happened to us and the past has nothing to do with it. I’m not letting my
background interfere and neither should you, Beau. I don’t want you to be chivalrous or even be what you deem as ‘fair’ to me. All I want is for you to love me. The rest will take care of itself.” Her hands slipped from the planes of his cheeks to his shoulders to give him a gentle shake. “
Please
say it, Beau.”

“I’m
not
chivalrous, damn it,” he said harshly. “If I was chivalrous do you think I’d have married you? I knew our marriage wouldn’t have too much influence on the immigration red tape we’d have to go through. I didn’t even do it to force you to accept my help as I told you. I was just so damn afraid of losing you I had to tie you to me any way I could. I was freeing you with one hand and binding you with ropes of steel with the other. I wanted an excuse to hang around and watch over you, be with you.” His lips tightened. “I think you would have found that any potential male threat to my cause would have mysteriously disappeared. I wouldn’t have been able to help myself.” He laughed mirthlessly. “Some Galahad!”

“Well, I’m glad to see you’re not completely noble,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “I’ll be
much more comfortable with the Beau I’ve come to know in the last few days. Can’t you fall just a little further from the pedestal?” she coaxed softly. “Come on, bribe me a little. Say you love me.”