Blurred Lines by KD Williamson (9 page)

However, Nora could not use that word to describe Kelli or her reaction to the woman. In fact, she spent too much time pondering the situation, and too many emotions still swirled inside her. All of this had to stop. Nora had avoided Kelli’s room and further interaction, but that wasn’t the answer. She tried analysis. She tried evasion. Nora saw only one other avenue—confrontation. Something had to work.

Nora glanced at her watch again. It was 7:38 a.m. She had devoted too much time to woolgathering…to Kelli McCabe. It was time for her to return to status quo.

* * *

“Bullshit. You weren’t fired. Bet you didn’t have a job in the first place, Tony.”

“Kelli.” Her mother said her name as though she were a step away from getting her ass kicked.

“Oh come on, Mom. That pretty-face thing he does really shouldn’t work for you anymore.”

Carina threw her hands up. “He’s your brother.”

“I know that, and that’s why I’m not coddling his ass.”

“He’s trying. Can’t you see that?”

Kelli glared at her mother. “You really don’t wanna know what I see.”

Through it all, Antony stood there with his head bent, staring at his shoes.

This made Kelli even angrier. “Nothing to say for yourself, or are you just gonna keep letting everyone else speak for you?”

Antony shrugged. “Don’t matter. You’re gonna always think I’m a fuck-up. You and Sean.”

Kelli glanced in her other brother’s direction. He sat away from them with his police cap in his hands. For some reason, this made her even more suspicious of him than she was before. “You don’t have anything to say about this, Sean?”

Sean glanced up. “What’s the point?”

Carina gasped. “I can’t believe the way you two are treating your brother.”

“It’s okay, Mom. They have reason,” Antony said.

Kelli couldn’t look away from Tony. He held his body rigid, and a muscle in his jaw flexed. She wiped a hand over her face. She was too damn tired for this shit. Her dreams kept her from sleeping and no matter how hard Kelli tried, she couldn’t make them go away. She wasn’t a fucking magician. She finally caught Antony’s gaze, but only for a few seconds before he looked away. Kelli opened her mouth to demand answers.

“I’m not gonna stand for this crap.” Carina raised her voice. She officially crossed the line from speaking to yelling. “I didn’t raise you to be assholes.”

Kelli inhaled deeply. She ignored the tightness in her chest and released her breath slowly, hoping for a moment of calm, a moment of peace. She stared out at the open door as life went on around her and wished she were moving with it.

“Do you hear me?” her mother asked.

Kelli blinked as a familiar figure appeared in the doorway.

“While this isn’t ICU, hospital policy dictates that noise be kept at a minimum.” Nora entered the room. “Since a majority of the nurses categorically refused to deliver the message for me…” She looked at Kelli. Their refusal was her fault after all. “I decided to deliver it myself.”

Kelli swallowed and glanced away. Nora had seen enough the other night. She didn’t want to show her any more.

“I don’t care who you are, lady. This is a family discussion.” Her mother was on a roll.

“This is a hospital. While Ms. McCabe may be the center of your universe, she can’t be the center of mine. So, in the interest of other patients, please lower your voices.”

Carina’s face grew red and blotchy, but she didn’t say another word.

Kelli was impressed. Not many people could silence her mother.

Sean stood. “I was about to leave anyway.” He nodded in Nora’s direction. “Doc.” He gave Kelli his fake smile and left.

“I guess I need to go too.” Her mother reached out and squeezed Kelli’s hand, and she held her gaze for a few seconds. Kelli could see her disappointment even though she tried to look away. “C’mon, Tony.”

Antony followed his mother dutifully. He paused when they neared Nora but a well-placed swat to the back of his head got him moving again.

Kelli almost chuckled. Nora was indeed worth the stop. Assuming that she was now alone, she closed her eyes. Maybe pretending to sleep would somehow trick her body into actually doing it.

“The nurses tell me that you haven’t asked for a sedative at all this week. Why? You obviously need it.”

Startled, Kelli opened her eyes and turned toward Nora.

As the seconds passed, stillness enveloped them. Breaking it, Nora brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Kelli wondered if it was a nervous gesture. Or was it something Nora did only around her? Kelli swallowed. She felt open, exposed.

Nora repeated her question.

Then, they both went quiet.

Nora looked as unsure as Kelli felt. She squirmed as if she was uncomfortable. Nora moved deeper into the room. Kelli licked her lips, but she had no idea what to say.

“Kelli?”

Well, shit. Were they friends now? Kelli didn’t expect Nora to say her first name. She had just gotten used to Ms. McCabe. A few nights ago, she hadn’t expected Nora to be kind and gentle either. She hadn’t expected her to stay as the drugs pulled her under, but Nora had. “That’s the third time you’ve said my first name. It has to be a record or something.”

Nora took a step back. “I must apologize. That was very unprofessional of me.”

Nora was flustered again, and Kelli had barely said a word. Nora’s change in demeanor placed them in recognizable waters. Kelli could navigate them safely without even trying. “Well, you have seen me naked.”

Nora face turned the brightest red Kelli had ever seen. “It was only momentary. I assure you, I—”

Kelli couldn’t help herself. She laughed. It felt good. “Nora, God, lighten up.”

Nora blinked.

Kelli sighed.

“Let your hair down…relax.” Kelli brought her thumb and forefinger together. “You’re a little bit uptight.”

“There is nothing wrong with trying to keep our interactions professional.”

“I never said it’s wrong. It’s just boring as all hell.”

“I prefer—”

“To be boring?” Kelli lifted a brow in question.

Nora was silent. She tilted her head to the side and studied Kelli.

Suddenly, very aware of the inspection and made uncomfortable by it, Kelli glanced down. She picked at her tank top. “What? Did a nipple slip or something?” Humor was always, and would forever be, the perfect cover. Lately, she needed it more and more.

“You neglected to answer my initial question. Is all of this…subterfuge?” Nora refused to be distracted.

Kelli’s breath caught. This woman saw a lot more than Kelli gave her credit for. “Sub what? I don’t even know what that means.”

Nora scoffed. “That is completely untrue. I’m sure intelligence lies behind the foul language you insist on using.”

Kelli’s mouth dropped open. She closed it slowly. “Did you just give me a compliment?”

“No. I was simply pointing out the obvious, and you’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Attempting to divert the conversation. I assure you this is unpleasant for me as well.”

“Then let’s not go there. I like butting heads with you a whole lot better than talking about other shit. Don’t you?”

“Yes, but—” Nora’s eyes widened, and she reddened even more.

Kelli chuckled. “It’s okay to admit it.”

Nora’s lips thinned. Then, a thoughtful look passed over her face. “Just as it’s okay to admit the need for a sedative.”

Kelli slammed her mouth shut so hard that she nearly bit her tongue. “What does that matter to you?” Kelli demanded. Nora was about to overstep the line that Kelli kept drawn in the sand.

Nora broke their gaze. “I’m not sure. This conversation hasn’t progressed the way I thought it would.”

Doing a mental double take, Kelli asked, “What?” She’d gone from teetering on the edge of fight mode to completely confused.

“I’m not your assigned physician. Dr. Rader is, and yet I find myself involuntarily entwined in your situation. I’m not even sure why I engage you in conversation.” The words spilled from Nora’s mouth. “You’re crass—”

Then, out of the blue, Nora’s words made sense. It was like someone slapped her in the back of the head. “You…like me.” Kelli interrupted. She was floored.

Nora looked stricken, pale. “That is ridiculous. I don’t—”

“Like people?”

“Well…no,” Nora said.

“That’s strange given what you do, but I did tell you I would grow on you.”

Nora’s eyes narrowed in response.

Kelli chuckled and shrugged. “I’m still not listening to Justin Bieber with you. I’m more of a rock-alternative kinda girl.”

“I still have no idea who this Justin Bieber is.”

“Doesn’t matter. Maybe I’ll introduce you to Metallica one day.”

“What a horrid name for a person—”

Kelli sighed again. “It’s the name of a band.”

Nora took another step backward as if preparing to bolt at any second.

“You don’t wanna like me, do you, Nora?”

Nora looked away.

“It’s okay. You’re not the type I usually hang out with either.” Kelli had no idea what she was doing. Nora was one more person who had seen her weakened. At the beginning of this conversation, Kelli was leaning toward intentional cruelty, but this woman had returned no matter how much she had insulted her. And she held her own. This woman had stayed by her side when she didn’t have to. This woman, Kelli realized, had earned the benefit of the doubt. “That doesn’t have to mean anything, though.”

Nora gazed back at Kelli, her features now placid, completely void of emotion. She had an awesome poker face. “You’re pale, Ms. McCabe, and the discoloration beneath your eyes are a typical sign of exhaustion. You’re not sleeping well.” Nora paused and then murmured softly, “I’ve prescribed a mild sedative to go along with your other medications. Will that suffice?” Nora looked at her with compassion, but something else was there. Kelli just didn’t know what it was.

Kelli smirked, and for the moment, let her pride go. “Yeah.”

Nora turned to leave, but Kelli refused to let her, at least not yet.

“Nora?”

She looked back at Kelli expectantly but with an air of uncertainty.

“I’m different. I challenge you. That’s why you like me.” Kelli meant it as a question, but the words didn’t come out as one. She sounded arrogant, but she didn’t mean to be. People seemed to cower around Nora or carry with them a distinct aura of dislike. Kelli had seen it, felt it, and she was none of those things.

Nora’s expression was void, but Kelli was sure she saw a little something in her eyes.

“Have a good day, Ms. McCabe.”

* * *

The elevator dinged as it stopped and opened. Nora walked quickly. Her vision was tunneled, ignoring the chatter and the smattering of people around her. A sense of relief invaded her as she turned down the long hallway that led to the on-call rooms. With a trembling hand, she turned the knob on the first room she reached, but it was locked. She tried two more, only to find the same. Nora could have used her keys, but her ability to handle whatever she might find behind those locked doors was currently a bit compromised.

Finally, there was success. Nora entered, not bothering with the light. She leaned heavily against the closed door and relaxed in the darkness. Kelli’s words seeped into her.
You…like me.
Nora brought a hand to her chest in hopes of calming her racing heart. Liking Kelli McCabe was not possible. She was rude, crass, insufferable, and unpredictable, but Nora sighed in reluctant acceptance that Kelli was also so much more. She had to be in order to crash through the walls Nora had spent a lifetime building. How was that even possible?

Throughout her years in college, medical school, and her residency at Seattle Memorial, she’d met people that she’d developed a healthy respect for with regard to their insight, work ethic, and attention to detail. It had been a simple transference for Nora to admire what she herself held dear, but her response and feelings concerning Kelli sent her into a tailspin.

Did she like her? Yes, she did. The answer explained everything so succinctly. She didn’t understand how one emotion could cause so much chaos. Her routine was affected and so was her concentration. That much was obvious, and those feelings were wholly responsible for what just occurred in Kelli’s room. The words Nora prepared and practiced to end their more personal interactions fled as soon as they were alone. She despised this loss of control, this intrusion into simplicity. The feeling left her disconcerted. Yet, somehow she felt more alive, more alert than ever before, and Nora
liked
that. Yes, she liked it a lot. Something in her stomach fluttered warmly. It tickled her insides in an effort to escape, and she bit her bottom lip as she tried to rein it in. Slowly, Nora let herself smile.

* * *

Kelli didn’t bother with small talk as the nurse wheeled her down the hall. That ship had sailed, and she had decided that it was okay for the nurses to think she was the consummate asshole. There was no way to turn back now.

As the nurse wheeled her into Travis’s room, Kelli heard snatches of conversation.

“Fuck…just fuck. This isn’t right,” Sean murmured. His voice was thick and full of emotion.

“I know. I’m scared as shit.” Travis’s voice trembled.

They stopped talking as soon as she entered.

Her brother was seated on Travis’s bed. The air was heavy, almost stifling. This just added to the tension she’d already picked up on. Kelli’s stomach twisted.

Sean wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, but Kelli saw the tears.

Travis didn’t look at her at all. His shoulders sagged, and there was a noticeable hitch in his breathing.

“Someone talk to me…please?” Kelli pleaded.

No one spoke.

A muscle in Kelli’s jaw ticked. “I knew something…” She exhaled shakily. “Just tell me.”

Sean studied her for a moment. His eyes were red rimmed. His expression was listless. Kelli tried to swallow down the fear that gripped her. He tore his gaze away and glanced in Travis’s direction. “It should be you.”

“Ye—”

“Spit it the fuck out,” Kelli’s words were harsh, demanding. The situation called for a softer touch, but she didn’t have it in her.